How Does A Cancer Man Test You? 11 Most Common Methods

By Ashley Knight

November 5, 2021

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How does a Cancer man test you? He’s going to test you in many ways to see how compatible you are with one another. This way, he’ll be able to determine whether you’ll be good for him.

People born under this sign are extremely intuitive. Cancer is ruled by the moon, which has always been thought to influence our emotions. For that exact reason, we can say that this sign is good at picking up on the emotions of a person, as well as their vibe.

The man you’re seeing needs to be sure that you’ll keep him safe and understand his emotional needs. You can’t expect him to just jump into a relationship.

He’s too cautious for that because he can’t handle another heartbreak. You need to be sure that you really won’t break his heart before he even gets the chance to show you how much he loves you.

In this article, we’ll make sure to cover everything we can to answer the question, “How does a Cancer man test you?”

You need to be prepared, because you could interpret the signs differently. You may think that he’s being rude or that he’s just playing a stupid little game with you but there’s a lot more to this than you may think.

So let’s help you out a bit by giving you a little cheat sheet.

How does a Cancer man test you?

1. He starts serious conversations out of the blue

When a man who’s born under the sign of Cancer starts a serious conversation out of the blue, you know that he’s up to something. He won’t initiate these chats just to see your reaction but rather to see what you think about the topics at hand.

That’s why he’ll come to you with the most random questions. He may ask you about your relationships with your family members, about your political views, or whether you want to have children in the future.

These may seem like conversations that are a bit too serious to have at the very beginning of your relationship. However, a Cancer won’t even start a romantic relationship with you if he doesn’t know that there’s a future for the two of you. They’re not into casual dating and you’ll get to see that quite early on.

Something seemingly small may influence his opinion of you. This doesn’t mean that you should come up with an elaborate explanation before he even gets the chance to ask you a question. It just means that you need to be honest with him.

Nonetheless, I believe that you deserve to know when you’re being tested. He asks you these questions to see where you stand on these subjects and to make sure that you’re compatible enough with each other. He’ll try to get the truth out of you and then he’ll weigh up his options.

2. He shows you his emotional side early on

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So how else does a Cancer man test you? If anything, you’ll see that when he starts to show you his vulnerable and emotional sides. He’ll try hard to open up to you and to get you to see every aspect of him.

You and I both know that men aren’t that open about their feelings. They’ve been conditioned by society to be the strong cornerstones that keep everything together.

They don’t show emotions that often and even at times when they do, it’s mostly to the people they trust the most. But how does he know that he can trust you if he doesn’t let you in? You need to see his reaction to something that he finds to be very triggering so that he knows what your attitude about it would be.

What if you’re a toxic woman who thinks that men shouldn’t cry? Then he won’t have anything to do with you. He wants someone who’ll understand his emotional needs.

Just because he acts all tough in front of other people, it doesn’t mean that he wants to act that way in front of his significant other. You have to give him the love and support he needs in those moments. He needs to feel safe in your presence.

He can get moody quite easily, so you’ll need to be able to sense his emotional state before it even occurs to him that something’s wrong. This may sound like quite a task but I can assure you that Cancer can show their emotional state without even being aware of it. You’ll catch on very quickly.

3. He asks his closest friends for their opinions

How does a Cancer man test you when you’re not around? I can tell you for certain that he’ll ask other people about their opinions of you and this will show that he’s being a little cautious.

You may meet his friends very early on. He’s a very social creature and he loves people dearly. For that exact reason, he’s not ready to leave people behind. He’s not ready to lose his friends to maintain a relationship with you.

His friends are very important to him, so he’ll watch the way you treat them, as well as their treatment of you. When you’re not around, he’ll ask them for their opinions because he values them very much. He wants to know whether they approve of you.

Of course, he won’t listen to an opinion that’s based only on judgment but he’ll definitely listen to one that’s based on facts. He thinks that his friends know him best and that they’ll tell him whether he’s found a girl who’s simply not right for him.

This doesn’t mean that he’ll let them decide whether or not you’re meant to be together but he’ll consider their viewpoints.

4. He leaves his phone unlocked

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What better way to test you than by leaving his phone unlocked? You’ll see just how easy it is to lose yourself to the temptation of going through his phone when he’s not around.

To a sensitive Cancer, trustworthiness and loyalty are extremely important. He wants to see that you trust him and that he can trust you. If you’re the type of girl who doesn’t trust her boyfriend and goes through his phone, then you’re not the right one for him.

Whenever you see that he’s left his phone next to you and that it’s unlocked, just know that he’s testing you. This Cancer man knows what he’s doing.

You’ll feel tempted to see who he’s texting and what he’s searching online. You’ll even want to see whom he’s following on his accounts and whether he deleted his dating apps.

It’s completely understandable but he’d much rather you ask him to show you than catch you snooping around. Even if you’re very careful and you don’t get caught right away, he’ll find out the truth soon enough.

Never make him wonder whether he can trust you with these things because that’s where he draws the line and he’ll just walk away from you. Before you even know it, you won’t have him in your life anymore. Are you ready for that?

5. He insists on meeting your friends

How else does a Cancer man test you? Well, he uses the most convenient ways that you can imagine. So one of the first things he’ll do is insist on meeting your friends.

As we stated before, he puts a lot of emphasis on friendships and the involvement of his partner in their lives. This also goes the other way around. He wants to meet your friends to see whom you spend the most time with.

He’s the type of person who’ll want to meet your friends to see the dynamic you’ve created, as that’s when he’ll be able to see you in your natural habitat. Based on the people you surround yourself with, he’ll know whether you’re meant for him or not.

Let’s be honest. Someone’s closest friends say a lot about the person. Those people are a reflection of you and they’re a well of knowledge about you that he can use to his advantage.

More often than not, a water sign will find a way to infiltrate your friend group just to see what they know about you and how much you tell them about him. If you’re someone who shares everything with her friends, he’ll see that as an opportunity to find out what you were telling them about him and your relationship as well.

However, this doesn’t mean that he’ll insist on meeting your family members too. He understands that family is on a completely different level, so he doesn’t need to meet them before you’re both ready for it.

6. He watches you closely to see how you treat others

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You can’t deny the fact that someone who treats people kindly is way more attractive than someone who’s constantly rude. Sometimes people are unintentionally impolite but that doesn’t mean we can excuse that behavior.

When you’re out on a date for the first time and you see a guy treating a waiter like he’s his little minion, you just know that you can’t trust that man with your heart. Well, men look at women the same way.

If you’re not nice to a waiter or his friends or family, then there’s no reason for him to stay around. You can be kind and loving toward him but other people deserve that treatment as well.

You shouldn’t make anyone’s life even harder than it already is just because you find it bothersome to be nice to others. Show people that you’re a nice human being.

You shouldn’t even do this because of the Cancer man you’re seeing but because of your conscience. If you can’t find it in yourself to be kind to people and you’re the equivalent of a modern-day ‘Karen’, then you should genuinely ask yourself what’s wrong with you.

7. He checks to see whether you’re able to put in the same effort

A Cancer man will test you how he sees fit but does that mean that he’ll be fair about it? Well, I can tell you for sure that he’ll be very understanding and loving. He’s the type of guy who puts a lot of effort into his romantic relationship.

Because of that, he’ll try to give you the entire world but there will be one condition; you need to meet him halfway. He won’t put up with you if you continue to take his kindness for granted.

He doesn’t want a girlfriend who’ll only pretend to love him when it’s convenient for her. You need to be there for him when he’s at his lowest. Just like he’s there for you when you need him to be.

I know that it’s very easy to get lost when you’re in a relationship. You forget that you need to do your best to keep the person around. You forget that you need to do everything in your power to make the person feel loved.

Never assume that he feels like you love him. You should always show him with your actions as well as your words. Once you do that, he’ll see that you’re genuine about it and that you’re in it for the long run.

If you constantly let him do everything for you, do you genuinely believe that a Cancer will stick around? Even if he believes in the good in people and thinks that you may change over time, that still doesn’t mean that you should push him to his limits.

To check that you put in the same effort, if he invites you out on a date, plans it, and pays for everything, he’ll stay silent afterward to see whether you initiate the next one. Or if he always texts you first, he won’t say anything at the time but he’ll stay out of your DMs long enough for you to start a conversation of your own accord.

Show him that he can count on you too. Show him that he won’t need to chase you but that you’ll work together for a wonderful and healthy relationship.

8. He opens up to you

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When you’re thinking about how a Cancer man tests you, you may not want to think that even the smallest things are signs that he’s testing you. Nevertheless, it’s true.

He’ll try to show you the deepest and darkest parts of him in order to get a reaction out of you. He wants to see how you’ll look at him after he admits things about himself.

Let’s be serious, he’s a water sign, so what’s the worst thing he could’ve done? Told someone that he doesn’t like their outfit? Come on.

But if it’s a huge deal for him and if it’s been bugging him for a while, he’ll talk to you about it to see what you think of him and whether you’ll change your existing opinion. When he opens up to you about things that he hasn’t told anyone before, he’s also hoping that you won’t go around spreading that information.

As stated before, trust is extremely important to a Cancer. He wants to make sure that he can trust you with his secrets before he spills the tea on the most important parts of himself in front of you.

Don’t assume that he’s telling you all of those things just so you can get to know him. He won’t tell you everything about himself until he knows that you’re someone who’ll stay in his life for a long time.

Just be warned. If he does hear that you’re talking to other people about him and that you’re revealing his secrets, he’ll walk out of your life before you’re even able to comprehend what’s going on.

9. He withholds intimacy from you

You’ve heard of women withholding intimacy from their male partner. They do it so that they’re sure the man is with them for more than just physical pleasure.

Sometimes it doesn’t go as planned but other times it tells them everything they need to know about the man they’re seeing. Well, I can say that this is something a Cancer man will do when he tests you too.

He’ll withhold intimacy from you long enough to see your reaction to it. After a while, you’ll feel like he doesn’t feel the need to touch you. However, he does this because he wants to see why you’re with him.

He’ll watch you closely and he’ll listen to your pleas. More often than not, it’ll hurt him to reject you just as much as it hurts you to be rejected. But he needs to stand his ground so he knows that you’re with him for all the right reasons.

The right reasons are things like his personality, his sense of humor, and his kind heart. A Cancer doesn’t care about the physical appearance of his partner, nor about their financial status. That’s why he doesn’t want to be with someone who’s there just for the money or because of his looks.

As you can see, he’s a wholesome human. He just wants to see that you won’t break his heart because of some selfish reason.

10. He asks you questions about things he already knows the answers to

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How else does a Cancer man test you, you may be wondering? Well, he’ll do it in all the sneaky ways that come to his mind. As a rule, you won’t even be able to tell that it’s a test.

You’ve probably done this yourself a couple of times in the past or you’ve heard your friends say that they’ve done this to their boyfriends. Your Cancer man will also do this and you’ll see how effective it is.

When he’s trying to test you, he’ll ask you about something that he already knows the answer to. Beware of questions like, “When was the last time you saw your ex?” or, “Who did you see last night?”

He already knows the truth, he’s just trying to see whether you’ll lie to him or be straightforward about it. If you feel the need to lie to him or simply hide the truth, know that he’ll find it out somehow.

If anything, his intuition is so strong that it’ll create an unease inside his chest that’ll continue to bug him. He’ll find out the truth from you or some other way.

If he finds out that you lied to him, he’ll walk out of your life. He doesn’t want someone in his life who’ll do this to him.

11. He tries to push you away

One way or another, your Cancer man will try to push you away. When you’re wondering, “How does a Cancer man test you?” you’ll see this sign.

Besides the fact that they’re very passive-aggressive, they also want to see you fight for them. So he may try to catch your attention by being extremely petty or dismissive.

This may seem counterproductive but in his mind, it makes perfect sense. He’ll tell you that he has a lot of emotional baggage or that you shouldn’t waste your time on him. He’ll even try to convince you that he’s bad for you or that he’s not able to love you.

That’s a whole lot of gibberish if you ask me. All he wants to do is make sure that you’ll fight for him. He wants to see you look past these little flaws of his and still choose him.

He wants to know that he can be himself completely. You need to be able to see all of his dark sides before you fall in love with the good stuff.

That’s why a Cancer man will test you in the first place. He wants to see how you handle all of the mistakes he made in the past, as well as his mood swings.

If you stick with him through this test, he’ll hold on to you for dear life. There won’t be a reason for him to not treat you like the queen that you are.