Think aloud
What will happen when you stop texting first? Will you finally be able to gain the attention of that one special person or will he forget that you even exist?
Texting has definitely become a part of our everyday life. It doesn’t matter whether you’re already in a relationship or if you’re still trying to get to know each other better, the chances are that you’ll use texting as the main way of communication.
It’s a great way to stay in touch in between dates. It takes a minimum amount of time to reply to a message and you can easily do it whenever you’re free.
However, if you’ve always been the one who texts first then you probably know how awful it feels when you wait hours (or sometimes even days) for a response. You know the pain of always being the one who initiates the conversation as the other person seems to be waiting for you to make the first move.
There’s nothing good about feeling this way as you start to think of yourself as someone he can live without. You realize that if you didn’t text him first, he probably wouldn’t even bother starting a conversation.
He would rather wait for you to send a message instead of reaching out to you.
This realization makes you think about one thing in particular. What would happen if you were to stop texting first?
Would your relationship progress or would you actually lose the guy you like? Would he simply give up on you or would he finally put in some effort?
13 surprising things that happen when you stop texting first
When you stop texting first, even though you used to do it all the time, everything starts to feel different. Literally every single thing about you and your relationship goes through a change.
As days go by and your guy realizes that you’re no longer messaging him, he starts to understand that something’s off. Your relationship has changed for some reason and now, he’s left to figure out what’s going on.
Well, here are some of the most surprising things that will happen when you stop texting first and take a step back.
1. You don’t look desperate
Let me be honest. When you meet a guy you like, you immediately feel the need to chase after him so he doesn’t leave your sight.
You fight for his attention and more often than not, you end up being the one who texts first. The wish to keep him by your side only grows as you’re willing to do whatever it takes to keep him there.
After all of this, you end up looking desperate. You show him that you need him in your life and that you’re willing to chase after him, no matter what.
And even if you think that he’ll like this behavior, instead, he’ll only like the attention. You’ll serve as food for his ego because it feels great to have someone who’s willing to do anything to secure a place in your life.
So, when you stop texting first, you immediately eliminate the possibility of looking desperate. You show your guy that you won’t be bending over backward for him just because you like him.
The effort in a relationship should be equal, especially if you’ve just started dating. You don’t want him to think that he can do nothing and still have your attention.
Instead, he should know that he needs to fight for you if he wants to keep you by his side.
2. He starts to miss you
It doesn’t matter whether you just met or if you’re already in a relationship, you should always make sure to give a guy a chance to miss you. If you don’t do that, there’s a greater risk of losing him as he won’t know how it feels not to have you around.
At some point, your presence in his life will be too much to deal with as he’ll start to feel like you’re always next to him. The moment he feels like he has no space or time of his own anymore is the moment he starts thinking that he’s better off without you.
He may feel like you’re suffocating him and not allowing him to live his own life. But when you stop texting him first and show him that he can do whatever he wants, he’ll then realize that he can’t imagine himself without you.
He’ll start to miss you because he’ll figure out how it would feel if he lost you completely.
From that point on, the attraction between the two of you will immediately grow. He’ll realize that he needs you by his side and he won’t risk losing you, no matter what.
3. You find out whether he wants to stay in touch with you
As long as you’re the one who’s texting first, you’ll never be able to know for sure that he actually wants you in his life. Yes, the communication is going back and forth but is the only reason for that the fact that you’re the one who’s in charge of starting it?
If you need to text him in order to get the ball rolling, does it then mean that he wouldn’t do anything if he didn’t get your message? Would he make sure to reach out to you or would he be fine with not hearing from you?
You’ll find out the truth the moment you stop texting him first. After that, you’ll realize whether he’s willing to put the effort into staying in touch with you or if he’s fine with losing you.
When he doesn’t text you for days after you haven’t been the one to initiate the conversation, it’ll become clear that he doesn’t care much about you. The only reason why you stayed in touch was that you were the one who started the communication.
The moment you took a step back, he decided that you weren’t worthy of putting in the effort.
This only shows you that he’s not into you the way you thought. He was only there while it was convenient and while you were the one who fought for him.
4. You don’t come across as needy
Needy women are a big no-no. Men don’t like them and they usually have a tendency to run away from them the moment they spot them.
When you’re always the one who texts first, you can come across as needy. You send him signals that you always want to stay in touch with him regardless.
At some point, this behavior even starts to feel controlling and possessive and no guy is a fan of that. But when you stop texting him first and give him an opportunity to be the one who’ll reach out to you, you show him that you’re not a needy person.
You won’t be checking up on him all the time as you have your own life to live. So, when you give him enough space and he texts you first for a change, it only goes to show that he actually wants you in his life.
5. It shows you whether he’s willing to put in some effort to have you around
Effort is attractive. When you see him working hard to keep you around, you start to feel like he’s worthy of your love.
But it’s never attractive if you’re the only one putting in the effort. When you do everything for him and he gives you nothing in return, you should immediately realize that he’s not the right guy for you.
So, when you stop texting first and he doesn’t even lift a finger for you, it’s a red flag that his feelings aren’t real. The only reason for your previous communication was the fact that you were the one who initiated it.
It doesn’t get any more obvious that he doesn’t want you in his life, as his actions prove that to you. You were probably just convenient and nothing more than that.
But when you stop texting first and he still puts in the effort to reach out to you and keep the communication going, that’s how you know that he’s a real man. He won’t play with your feelings but he’ll instead do whatever it takes to have you around.
Well, that’s the kind of man you need in your life.
6. You save yourself from being ghosted
Ghosting has to be one of the most hated words of the modern age. And how couldn’t it be?
You give a guy all of your time and attention only to never hear back from him. He disappears from your life as if you don’t mean anything to him and then he usually reaches out to you the moment you move on.
Ghosting is a sick game and we’re all so desperately trying to avoid it. No one wants to go through the torture of realizing that the person you care about decided to ignore you completely.
But when you stop texting first, you save yourself from ending up in a situation like that. You walk away before things get rough.
At that point, you avoid being ghosted as you don’t give him an opportunity to play with you. You run away a bit earlier than he expected you would, which saves your heart from the pain you could’ve gone through.
7. You save yourself from always having to do all the hard work
I know that you like this guy and that’s why you want to keep the communication going. You want to give your best so you know it isn’t your fault if things don’t work out.
But when you’re always the one who texts first, you’re actually showing him that you’re okay with doing all of the hard work. You don’t care that you have to fight for his time and attention.
Even if you think that this isn’t the way things look, trust me when I say that he sees it exactly this way. He thinks that you’ll always be there to do the hard work while his only job is to reply to your messages from time to time.
If you were to stop texting him first from now on and he didn’t make an effort to reach out to you, then it would be obvious what was going on.
Honestly, he never cared about you much. He simply liked the idea of having to talk to someone and I’m sure that’s not something you’re looking for.
8. You get enough time to focus on yourself
When you stop texting first, you realize that you have your own life to live. You realize that you neglected yourself, your friends, and your hobbies while focusing only on that one person.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that you want this relationship to work. You don’t want to lose this guy as you genuinely feel like he could be the one.
But at the same time, do you really want him to take up all of your time? Do you think that it’s fair for you to neglect everything else because of him?
Isn’t this a bit too much, especially if you just started dating?
I know that it’s extremely easy to forget about everyone the moment you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You shift all of your focus onto him but in the end, you realize it gets you nothing in return.
There you are, walking around like a lunatic, always carrying your phone in your hand. You wait for him to reply to your message, to give you a call, or maybe even take you out.
And while he’s the only person on your mind, he probably doesn’t even think about you. He’s living his life as if you don’t exist, when you can’t stop wondering about him.
But the moment you stop texting him first and focus all of your time and energy onto yourself, you realize that all this time, you’ve been a fool. You’ve been waiting for him, committed to him every second of the day, while he’s done nothing for you.
Now, the tables have turned and you won’t be the one to chase after him any longer. You’ll now make yourself a priority and if he likes you like he said, he’ll show you that through his actions.
9. You make others realize that they can’t take you for granted
When you show people that they don’t have to fight for you as you’ll always be there for them, they start taking you for granted. They immediately realize that you’re not going anywhere and that they can play with you for as long as they like.
They assume that you won’t leave them no matter what and that’s why they don’t pay much attention to you. Instead of putting in the effort, they act like you’re the only one who’s supposed to fight for the relationship.
But when you stop texting first, everything changes. The bare realization that you won’t be there for him if he can’t be there for you makes him understand that he’s about to lose you.
He then figures out that he can’t expect you to stay when he hasn’t been doing anything for you. Taking you for granted won’t get him far and he’ll have to do something if he doesn’t want to end up without you.
10. He finally realizes your worth
It’s obvious that we all appreciate things once we lose them and the same applies to people. The moment you lose a person who means a lot to you, it hits you that they were an important part of your life.
While you had them close to you, you simply assumed that they would always be there. But it all changes once they’re gone.
The same scenario will repeat when you stop texting first. A guy who’s used to getting your messages won’t know what’s going on.
He’ll start to miss you and then he’ll realize that you played such a huge role in his life. He’ll finally figure out your worth and he’ll be sad that he no longer hears from you.
I know that we’re all trying to play it fair and ignore these mind games but still, it’s the actual truth we have to face. We all long for those who are no longer a part of our life, while we neglect those who are still there.
But it all changes when you make a guy realize your worth before it’s too late. Stop texting him now and he’ll open his eyes and eventually see the truth.
He’ll then see how amazing you are and start to appreciate your worth. And that’s when everything will change for the better.
11. You set your boundaries
It doesn’t matter whether you just started dating or if you’ve been in a relationship for a while; when you stop texting first, you show a guy that you have some boundaries you’re not willing to cross.
You won’t let him sit and wait for you to do all of the work. You won’t be the one putting in all of the effort while he does nothing in return.
Instead, you’ll show him that he’ll have to fight for you if he doesn’t want to lose you. He’ll need to chase after you as sitting back and doing nothing won’t get him anywhere.
Once he understands this, he’ll know that he can’t assume he’ll always have you around if he doesn’t show interest in you.
It’s one thing to reply to the messages you send him but it’s a completely different story when he initiates the communication. As soon he realizes that, it’ll be easier for both of you to build a healthy and balanced relationship.
12. You become a challenge
Let’s face it, men love a challenge. They love the idea of chasing after the woman they like since they know it’s the only way they can get her.
But the moment you give in and you show them that you’re willing to pursue them, they start to pull away. Instead of keeping them interested, you only make them take a step back.
When you stop texting first and you let a guy do most of the work, you again start to feel like a challenge.
And guess what? He starts chasing after you.
Trust me, he would rather fight for your attention than get it without making an effort. He likes the pursuit, even if you thought that it would only push him away.
13. He realizes that he could lose you if he doesn’t do anything about it
As long as you reach out to him, he thinks that he has secured himself a place in your life and your heart. He assumes you’re not going anywhere.
But when you stop texting him first, it all changes. The realization hits him and he figures out that he could end up without you.
He can’t allow himself to lose you and he knows that he must do something to prevent that from happening. He needs to switch up his routine and show you that he actually cares about you.
That’s when he starts texting you first. He no longer waits for you to pick up the phone and send him a message and instead, he does it before you.
Because he wants you to know that his feelings are real, he reaches out to you. He can’t afford to end up without you and he’ll make sure to show you that.
He’ll make you his priority because he finally understands that all of this time, you’ve done most of the work. You’ve been the one to initiate the communication.
Even though he enjoys chatting to you, it never occurred to him that he should sometimes make the first move. You’ve been the one who moved mountains for him while he didn’t bother even lifting a finger for you.
The time has come for him to do things differently. He’ll either change his behavior or he’ll lose you forever.
He must make the right decision, one he won’t regret later.
