Why do ghosters always come back? It’s like they remember that there was someone they had to text and that’s when they come back to you.
Getting ghosted is the worst feeling in this world. You don’t know what you’ve done, nor do you know whether you’ve just been played.
However, when someone ghosts you out of nowhere, you can always expect them to find their way back into your life. Those ghosts of your past always reappear when you’re ready to move on.
Why does he keep coming back? Why does that man pretend as if nothing happened?
You probably want to know the purpose behind ghosting, just so you can have a clear picture and maybe even understand them more.
However, it doesn’t even matter how much you understand them. We, as women, should really stop overanalyzing things.
We need to stop looking past a man’s actions, as we just end up hurting ourselves trying to figure out their intentions.
What you have to remember is that people who ghost you are always narcissists in disguise. They think that they can ditch you whenever it pleases them.
Do you really believe that a man who actually cared about you would ghost you like that? Ghosting someone is just like a back-burner relationship.
He wasn’t ready to face any issues that you had but the one thing he knew how to do was just disappear from your life.
He swept you and everything that was part of your relationship under the rug so that he could deal with it later. Or maybe he just tried to forget about it?
But for real, though, why do ghosters always come back?
9 reasons why ghosters always come back
How many times in your life have you gone through this? The chances are that you’ve finally found the definition for the one thing people have been doing to you repeatedly.
What you have to understand is that most of the time, a person will ghost you on social media (and sometimes even in real life) when they’re not ready to face you. Their little issues have nothing to do with you.
You were ready to talk things through, to work on these things, but they just disappeared before you could even say something.
I understand that everything’s so confusing right now. You’re going back through your memories and you’re just trying to understand what you could’ve done better.
It only gets more confusing once that same person reappears in your life and you feel hurt when a man you were interested in (or even in a relationship with) ghosts you completely.
What’s the reason behind this? Is there even an explanation?
There’s actually a list of possibilities that will explain things to you just a tiny bit better and you’ll understand why ghosters always come back.
1. He thinks that you’re always available
This mostly happens when you meet people over dating apps. He thinks that you’re always available even if he doesn’t text you.
You’re a nice person who tends to be there for people and you make everyone feel warm and welcome.
At the end of the day, he really isn’t the best option for you, especially if you’ve taken him back every time he decided to ghost you and then reappeared out of nowhere.
There are so many cruel people out there who will take advantage of you and he’s definitely one of them. You’re someone who’s not able to hold grudges and he knows that.
He doesn’t even care that he’s hurting you. He just knows that you’re always available and that’s one of the most common reasons why ghosters always come back.
If you keep giving him second chances and you never stick to your, “Never again,” then he’s going to take advantage of that.
The only thing that he’s thinking is that it’s your fault for letting him do this to you over and over again. He thinks that this is your way of allowing him to break your heart.
2. He’s bored
He got bored of you so he just stopped replying to you but then he got bored without you and now he’s texting you again.
The first time this happened, you wanted to think that he’s a decent human being who wanted to explain himself.
However, he just pretended to care about you long enough to get you to give him the attention he desired at that particular moment.
The next day, you woke up to no messages, nothing. He never even saw the last text you sent him.
He’s going to continue coming back to you when he’s bored. He’ll continue making moves on you whenever he’s lonely.
There probably isn’t another woman in his life right now who’s able to give him as much attention as you do. You’re a safe bet, which is why he keeps coming back to you.
3. He wants to prove to everyone that he can have you whenever he pleases
Do you have any mutual friends? What are the chances that he wants to prove to you, himself, and the people around you that he can always have you?
You can be sure of this if he’s someone who prides himself on the people he surrounds himself with. He’s so proud of the reputation he’s made for himself.
Everyone knows by now that he’s a player and even if you’re the best girl in this world, he’ll only see you as a challenge.
Well, challenge accepted. Now he’s in and out of your life whenever he pleases to do so.
What are the odds that he has an actual bet with his homies on how many times he can have you? Is he actually this bad of a human being?
It’s easy to believe that everyone’s as good as you are. You don’t want to believe that people ghost others for no particular reason.
When you’re thinking about why ghosters always come back, what you really have to understand is that there’s likely a hidden motive behind it. No one just walks away, ghosts you, and then pops back into your life for no reason.
4. He does it for his ego
He needs an ego boost, so here he is again, knocking on your door so that you can validate him.
This ghost from your past has probably been disappointed or rejected at some point and he knows that you’ll be there to show him that he’s still desirable.
You know just as well as I do that men’s egos are more fragile than anything in this world and basically, you’re just food for his fragile masculine ego. He needs you to build his confidence when he’s at his lowest point.
He’ll be insecure about his value, about his physical appearance, about anything actually. That’s when he’ll remember just how good you are at reminding him that he’s desirable and wanted.
You’re someone who always validates his feelings and always makes him feel like a king. You’re a good woman, absolutely gorgeous, and intelligent, so he comes back to you to silently beg for that again and again.
5. He wants to use you
More often than not, you’re able to give him something no one else can. It doesn’t matter whether that includes mental stimulation, physical satisfaction, or you meeting his emotional needs – you do it best.
It’s probable that he only wants to exploit your friends with benefits relationship. He wants something with no strings attached.
You’ll think that he’s serious and that his intentions are pure but he only wants one thing from you. He’s breadcrumbing you as long as that’ll lead you to his bed.
You don’t need any dating advice to understand that you need to end things. Why would you even want to be the girl he calls late at night for some Netflix and chill in the first place?
You deserve so much more but he’ll continue doing this as long as you allow it. Don’t think too much about why ghosters always come back, because most of the time, the answer is quite simple.
6. He doesn’t know that it’s wrong
There are people out there who genuinely don’t understand that this is an issue, and in this case, this guy doesn’t know that it’s wrong.
You’ve probably wondered about his intentions and about why he ghosted you an enormous amount of times but most of the time, men don’t even understand that this is a problem.
When your best friend will be gone for a while, they’ll probably tell you beforehand. However, he doesn’t know that that’s something he should be doing.
There are many men out there who just assume that you don’t want anything serious with them either, so he doesn’t even give it a second thought.
Or he thinks that a lack of communication isn’t an issue because he believes you’re on the same page.
He thinks that you’ve both been on the same page this entire time when in actuality, he hurt you, and this is especially true when it comes to online dating.
Maybe you didn’t explain things to him properly or perhaps he just didn’t know how to interpret the signs.
You’d be surprised how many times the question, “Why do ghosters always come back?” has a very simple answer like this one.
7. The thought of you moving on affects him
Again, this is a very common theme with men. They’re extremely possessive and absolutely hate the thought of someone else having you, even though they probably don’t want you at all.
He ghosted you, for goodness’ sake. Why would he do that if he truly wants to be with you?
However, the thought of you moving on affects him. If a man has ghosted you and then comes back into your life, it could be because he saw you hanging out with another man.
Have you had the opportunity to meet someone new? Has there been a moment when he could’ve seen you with a new guy?
If the answer is affirmative, then there’s a good chance that this is the only reason why he keeps coming back into your life.
Does it seem like this? Just when you’re about to genuinely fall for another guy, your ghost comes back to haunt you.
You think that you’re finally over him and then he reappears in your life and expects you to act as if nothing ever happened. Why do ghosters always come back just to ruin something good that’s happening to you?
8. He may be missing you
Maybe he’s not really wasting everyone’s time. What if he really does miss you and he doesn’t know how to properly cope with this?
The only thing he knows is to text you again and expect you to heal the hurt he’s feeling. You probably know better than anyone else that people (especially men) figure out what they had once it’s gone.
He realized just how absolutely amazing and unique you are once he ghosted you.
Why do ghosters always come back when they realize their error? It’s like they want to hurt you.
You want to feel appreciated but it could be that he went out into the world, realized that there was no way he could find someone like you, and then he came back.
Yes, he does miss you right now but will he get bored of it again? Will he move on the very moment he sees that you’ll always wait for him?
Well, you’re the one who should be the judge of this. Is his self-esteem at stake here or does he really miss spending time with you?
You should just be very careful.
9. He genuinely wants you back
People make mistakes. At some point or another, you’ve made a big mistake yourself.
He might just have realized that ghosting you was truly the mistake of his life. You can always see the red flags that let you know he’s just playing you but in this instance, he’s genuine.
You know this man. Even when you went on your first date, he seemed interested in you.
His interest dissipated after a while and then he ghosted you but now he’s realized that he made a huge mistake. He knows that you’re not replaceable, which only leads to him coming back into your life.
He’ll beg to get you back but it’s up to you to make the decision of whether it’s worth it.
How should you react when someone who ghosted you comes back?
You’re confused as to why guys ghost the girls they were interested in at all but as you can see, that question can have many answers.
We’ve given you a list of possible reasons but he’s probably the only one who can tell you the actual story behind it.
But how do you react when he comes back? You don’t have to be a relationship expert to know that you need to react authentically and listen to your own gut feeling but sometimes it can be quite deceiving.
So let’s figure this out and help you make a smart move so that you don’t end up heartbroken or used again.
1. Don’t respond at all
If you’ve read everything above, then you can understand why not responding at all is probably the best decision you can make. You shouldn’t give a ghost from your past your precious time of day.
He chose his path and he chose to leave you hanging. This man wasn’t clear about his intentions with you and the only thing he did was hurt you.
He wasn’t even man enough to tell you how he felt or give you closure. The only thing he did do was ghost you.
So now it’s time for you to give him a dose of his own medicine. Show him how you felt.
Don’t even bother thinking about why ghosters always come back when this is probably the best way for you to approach this situation. He doesn’t deserve a better response than silence anyway.
2. Be honest with him
I, myself, don’t understand why ghosters always come back without an actual explanation for their behavior?!
When he does come back to you for whatever reason, you have the option to be honest with him, which is probably necessary because you want to get the closure you deserve.
You can tell him how he made you feel and that you wished that he had been honest with you as well, and the first thing he should do is explain himself. But please also add that it doesn’t bother you anymore; you’re over it!
You can then make the decision for yourself of whether you want to respond to him or not. If he continues to tell you what his intentions were, be real about your thoughts on the story he’s telling you.
3. Tell him you’re not interested
When you’re thinking about why ghosters always come back, it can also be because he thought that it’d keep you interested. People these days like to play games that are just so stupid and childish.
They take hours to reply and sometimes they don’t even respond at all. Can you imagine if everyone acted like this?
However, that’s not important right now. What is important, though, is that you can clearly state that you’re not interested in him anymore.
Tell him that you need to communicate with someone on a daily basis to be hooked and that train left the station a while back.
4. Don’t show him that you care
You’re sitting at home, wondering why ghosters always come back after a while, but the real question is whether you even care.
If you weren’t that interested in him in the first place, then you can show him that you’re not bothered by it at all.
Behind the scenes, you’ve probably already made a mental note that you’re not going to get involved with him anymore. However, that doesn’t mean that you can’t be polite about it.
Say something along the lines of, “Hey, long time no see! What’s up?” This way, he knows that you’ve realized that he was absent from your life but it’s casual enough to seem like you don’t even care about it.
He’ll likely continue the conversation afterward but you should feign indifference and let him see that it’s really nothing much of importance to you. He won’t break your heart and you’ll let him know that you’re the champion of this game.
5. Ask him for an explanation
You’re just confused by everything and asking for an explanation seems like you’re begging for something. However, you can ask him for one in a very chill manner.
Don’t put the blame on yourself in the sense of saying, “I know that I’m not perfect but…” Know that you have the full right to be upset with him.
So ask him what his intentions were and still are. Ask him why he ghosted you and whether he thinks that you would just accept him back into your life.
I know that this isn’t the easiest thing to do when you want to be a strong woman who doesn’t care. But you do care.
If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be searching for an explanation for ‘why ghosters always come back‘. You want to know his motives and this is the perfect time to ask him about that.
His, “I miss you,” text messages need elaborate reasoning behind them because it’s simply not that easy to just welcome someone back into your life without an explanation first.
6. Pretend you don’t know who’s messaging you
My personal favorite trick is to pretend like I have no idea who’s actually texting me. It’ll break his fragile little ego into small pieces and will show him that he can’t play with a woman like you.
You can keep his number or actually delete it; it doesn’t really matter at this point. He already ghosted you so why should he feel like you’d keep it in your contacts this entire time?
The audacity men have is absolutely heartbreaking. Why do ghosters even bother to always come back if they’re just there to mess with us?
All you have to do for this trick to work is be bold enough to actually use it. He’ll try to tell you his name and he’ll expect you to remember him.
This is your time to shine and tell him that, “It’s been so long, I forgot you existed.”
Or you can ghost him afterward just like he ghosted you. Your options are limitless.