A high-value woman’s boundaries are ones that we all need to strive for.
When I say ‘high-value woman’, there’s probably a list of women going through your head. You have so many females in your life who fall into this category.
You know them, you envy them, and you want to be just like them. They’re so confident, they don’t seem to be threatened by mundane things, and they pick and choose their fights.
I wouldn’t say that they’re perfect but in your head, they’re the closest thing to perfection there is.
A woman of low value is someone who doesn’t know how to ask for the things she wants and needs. She doesn’t know how to set her boundaries.
When you have such low self-esteem, you’re not really able to do all the things that a confident woman can.
You’ve probably found yourself in this situation because of a past trauma that you had to go through. People told you that you weren’t worthy of the things you desired, so you ended up being completely broken and bruised by that.
What does it mean in the long run? It means that your relationships will never be fulfilling enough.
You want to be a woman of high value and you want to find your own self-worth, so keep reading. We have all the answers you’re looking for.
How to be a high-value woman
This is the most important part, where we’re talking about how to be a high-value woman. You don’t have to go through any weird or pricey transformations.
The only change you have to make is the one within yourself. You have to alter your mindset and realize that you can create boundaries.
It’s not selfish to look out for yourself and be completely devoted to your own happiness. You can’t just expect people (or yourself) to see you as someone of high value when you’re not able to set strong boundaries.
Boundaries are there to determine what types of behavior you’re ready to accept in different types of relationships and what is completely off limits.
They’re your best friend. Nothing will protect you more than your own boundaries.
For example, your anger is there to protect you as well. When someone crosses a boundary, your anger alerts you and tells you that you need to protect yourself, which is why we usually say what we think when we’re mad.
However, it shouldn’t even get to that point. The people around you need to be made aware of your boundaries because you’re a high-value woman.
How to set boundaries like a high-value woman
1. Know and prioritize your own desires
What do you want from life? Do you know what you yourself desire?
Is it a fulfilling career, is it to travel the world, or is it a simpler and more calm life?
Whatever it is, you have to know your own desires and you have to be able to prioritize them. You won’t be able to set boundaries like a high-value woman if you don’t understand what you want in life.
A high-value woman is someone who’s well aware of her goals and dreams. She knows the risks she must take and she knows what she has to prioritize in order to get there.
You also need to understand and embrace this. Your sense of self may have been very damaged throughout these years of always pleasing other people but you have to stop doing that.
Someone who’s truly right for you understands that you can’t go out that night because you’re doing a very important assignment or you have to go to the gym.
The best way to know and prioritize your own desires is to put everything down on paper. What do you truly want and what stands in your way?
Write down all of those things, see what you need to get rid of, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
2. Give yourself permission
This is probably the most important part of this journey.
You probably grew up believing that setting boundaries makes you selfish or rude. We learn how to solve riddles and do math but no one teaches us how to actually take care of ourselves.
That’s why you’ll end up feeling awful during the process of understanding your boundaries and enforcing them.
You’ll feel like you’re the worst person in the world for saying, “No,” to things and for walking away from people who obviously don’t respect you enough.
When you want to create those boundaries and truly become a high-value woman, you have to start by giving yourself permission to do so.
You have to give yourself consent to clearly feel your boundaries and to act on your emotions. When something doesn’t feel right or when something makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to speak up.
Permit yourself to become a person everyone will respect, including yourself.
3. Start small
You don’t have to put up all of your walls at once. That’ll only confuse you and you won’t be able to show your true needs.
It’ll seem overwhelming once you become more aware of your own emotions and the things that you and don’t seek in your relationships.
You’ll see just how much work you have to do on your friendships and romantic relationship and even in your workplace.
You’ll feel extremely overwhelmed by all of these thoughts and you may just find it easier to go back to the way you were before.
This will only happen if you want to do everything at once, though. You can’t change decades of learned behavior overnight.
You can even ask a professional for help if you’re not able to figure out where you want to begin. It’s quite easy to lose yourself when you don’t know what you want from others or from yourself.
So start small. Start explaining to your closest friends that you need them to stop doing certain things before you start telling everyone else about the way you want to be treated.
You’re a high-value woman! You have all the time in the world to work on this.
4. Don’t let anyone disrupt your safe space
Self-care is extremely important to every high-value woman out there. They know that caring about one’s self lays down the foundation for the rest of their life.
You must have thought that having a safe space or taking care of yourself is selfish. We’ve been taught that if something doesn’t serve the people around us, it’s ultimately bad.
However, your own safe space should be your top priority. Your love life can wait, everything can wait.
Take time for yourself, every single day, whether to read, write, take a bath, or simply stare at a wall. You have the right to take up space and create routines that make you happy.
Do you need time to spend in silence in the mornings? Do you want to drink your coffee all alone and simply not be disturbed by others?
Well then, go for it! Show the people around you that you have these boundaries as a high-value woman and they will respect you more.
They won’t even ask to interrupt your safe space and your own peace.
5. Don’t let anyone talk over you
You know that moment in a movie when a man has the audacity to talk over a woman and doesn’t let her finish what she was saying?
That’s the moment when she turns around and says: “I wasn’t done talking,” or, “You should learn to listen before you speak.”
I don’t know about you but those moments inspire me to shut people up when they think that they can simply talk over me.
You need to understand that setting these boundaries and being a high-value woman go hand in hand.
This also includes self-love, because you love yourself enough to never let a man diminish the words that are coming out of your mouth.
You need to be completely open about the things that bother you in these situations and you have to let everyone know that when you’re done talking, they can talk.
No one is allowed to talk over you because you don’t talk over people either.
You’re not the type of person who would disrespect someone like that and you have enough self-respect to demand the same type of treatment.
As stated before, you have the right to take up space. You have the right to tell someone that they’re been very disrespectful toward you and that they have to let you speak or you’re out of there.
This is especially important in relationships. A high-value woman will definitely understand that.
6. Demand respect
Continuing with the fact that you have the right to demand respect from people, you also have to be able to do that.
When you look at those in authority, they sometimes demand respect by inflicting fear. A high-quality woman doesn’t need to make someone fear her; she wants to be respected.
The best way to do this is to call people out when they disrespect you.
Stop apologizing for the things that you obviously didn’t do on purpose, especially at work. We tend to be apologetic even when we haven’t done anything wrong.
We say sorry because we feel like people may perceive us as rude if we don’t. The truth is that you don’t have to apologize, as everyone makes mistakes.
You have to demand respect by being proactive. You can’t just wait for people to tell you what you can and can’t do.
If you continue waiting for people to actually tell you what needs to be done, then you’re nothing more than a people-pleaser. You don’t need to be that in order for people to love you.
Demanding respect is one of the most prominent traits of a high-value woman that you’ll ever be able to see.
Have in mind a strong woman who doesn’t ask anyone for approval and she simply does the things that she knows are right at that moment.
7. Understand that your emotions are valid
You, gorgeous woman, have the full right to feel every single one of your emotions. This is especially important in a relationship when your partner tends to be a little bit selfish and he doesn’t understand you.
For example, you must have found yourself in a situation where someone said to you: “I’m sorry you feel that way,” instead of, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”
Instead of taking full responsibility for their actions, they simply told you that your emotions were at fault. That’s not true and you know it.
The anger that shows a moment later is complete proof of that. So how does one understand that their emotions are valid?
Well, every single emotion you do feel has been triggered by something – by someone else’s behavior or someone else’s words. Whatever they said or did made you feel like this.
So, if you’re hurt, you have the right to be hurt. If you’re sad, you have the right to be sad.
You may be wondering how this ties in with the boundaries of a high-value woman but to be honest, it’s one of the roots of understanding your own value.
This way, you’re able to feel your emotions fully instead of locking them in and ignoring them. When people see that they can emotionally manipulate you, they’ll do so, and it doesn’t matter how much they think they love you.
A good man may simply misunderstand your own emotions but other people aren’t always that welcoming or understanding.
8. Communicate clearly
When you do set healthy boundaries, people won’t really understand them a lot of the time, because you don’t know how to communicate them clearly. You have to be able to say what you want and be clear about it.
You probably aren’t used to speaking up and saying what you want. In the beginning, you may even stutter for a moment.
Raising your voice and speaking your mind don’t come naturally to people, so of course, you’ll have issues when it comes to communicating clearly.
However, you can’t give up just because it doesn’t go well in the beginning. Practice makes the master.
You’ll stumble through your words for the first few months but after that, you’ll be able to communicate clearly.
Once you do communicate your wants and needs with clarity, you’re able to completely get your message across. No one can tell you afterward that they didn’t understand what you wanted to say.
9. Say, “NO,” as a full sentence
Have you ever wondered why we tend to continue every, “No,” with an explanation as to why we’re saying it? For some reason, we feel obligated to explain our own boundaries.
You shouldn’t be doing that. You have the complete right to say no to whatever you deem isn’t within your own wants or needs.
I know that it’s extremely hard to teach men to take no for an answer. They demand that their needs be met in ways that probably could trigger a huge part of the female population.
Sometimes, one small, simple no isn’t enough for them and they think that you need to be coerced into thinking that you need what they’re proposing.
So we’re taught to always follow up every single no with a full-on reason as to why we’re saying it but remember that you don’t need to do that.
That’s your boundary. You worked hard to create it and now you need to maintain it.
If someone does feel entitled to ask you why, you can decide whether they’re worth the explanation.
If you want to become a high-value woman with very stable boundaries then you have to show people (men especially) that no one can mess with you when you don’t want to do something.
10. Set boundaries regarding social media
Here, we’re talking about boundaries regarding which photos people can and can’t post. So many times, we find ourselves in situations where people don’t listen when we politely ask them not to post something.
When you want to set boundaries like these, you’ll understand how hard it actually is. People have the full right to post whatever they want and you’re left looking at those awful photos of yourself.
Luckily, every platform these days gives you the possibility to report every single post that you don’t like.
Before you take such an extreme measure, however, you should first try talking things through with this person. Tell them that it makes you feel uncomfortable and then ask them to delete it.
If they don’t want to, then report the photo. If they still don’t stop, block them.
For some reason, it’s deemed as a very weak move to block someone ‘just like that‘ but if they deserve it, you have the right to delete them from your space completely.
You have the right to make your accounts private and create boundaries for yourself as the high-value woman you are.
If someone doesn’t approve of that or gets mad at you, then they should be the first one to get blocked. You can’t understand your own value when you’re around people who don’t see your worth anyway.
This also applies to online dating, by the way.
11. Religiously follow your deal-breakers
Your deal-breakers are your personal boundaries. Every single piece of dating advice you’ve ever heard comes back to never letting someone in your life if you’re only falling in love with their potential.
The relationship advice that I’m going to give you right now is that you won’t find your Mr. Right between men who obviously aren’t able to meet your needs.
The right man won’t make you feel like you have to lower your standards for him. He’ll even raise them so that no one else after him is able to surpass him and he’ll be your personal brand of perfection.
Many high-value women have the same deal-breakers and they all include things like lying and cheating but what are your personal deal-breakers?
Is there something that really makes you think less of a person or makes you not want to be with them?
For example, you may want kids one day but he says that he doesn’t want any at all. Are you going to let someone like that into your life and hope that one day you’ll see eye to eye?
You can’t just wait for him to magically change his mind.
A high-quality man who’s the right one for you will want the same things as you do or he’ll at least consider them. He won’t play games with you or keep you guessing his intentions.
You should never second-guess your own deal-breakers, as they’re there for a reason. If anyone thinks that you’re too needy or that you’re too picky, let them.
12. Always honor your boundaries
There are people who will test you. You’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll want to ignore your boundaries and deal with the disappointment on your own in your room.
You didn’t know what it meant to honor your boundaries because you didn’t understand the principles of being a high-value woman.
Now you do know them, so you can’t set boundaries just for them to crumble when someone challenges them.
Sometimes it’s very hard to set boundaries when you’re not ready to lose a person. There are many who were there simply because they took you for granted or because they loved to take advantage of you.
You will set those boundaries and you’ll see just how many people were there because you were a people-pleaser. They weren’t there to be your friends, there were there because they needed someone to validate them and that’s it.
They needed you more than you’d ever need them and because of that, your boundaries will help you get rid of people like them.
Once they see that you finally respect yourself enough as the high-value woman you are, they’ll walk away from you.
Due to their own insecurities, they’ll likely say some very hurtful and awful things, which will break your heart, and I’m not going to sit here and pretend like setting boundaries isn’t extremely painful. It is.
The only difference is that you’ll finally know that they weren’t right for you.