Why Would Someone Pretend To Love You? 12 Selfish Reasons

Why would someone pretend to love you? Are there such cruel people out there who’d go so far as to put an act on just to keep you around?

You fall head over heels for a man and everything he’s done for you. Even his tiny quirks are adorable to you. You’re so in love with him, you choose to ignore the signs that he doesn’t love you just to stay close to him.

So many women in this world stay with a man who simply puts on an act for whatever reason. He has a motive of his own and he pushes his agenda to get what he wants from you.

You want to believe he’s there to keep you safe and to love you properly. You grew up with stories about true love and a happy ever after.

However, it seems like everything but the perfect love story. Is it truly your fault or is it just another harsh reminder that fairytales are nothing more than stories for kids?

He’s showing you all the signs that he’s just playing pretend, that he doesn’t really feel anything for you, and that nagging feeling isn’t going away. But you refuse to ask him because you know that he’d spend all his time convincing you that you’re just overthinking.

In this article, we’ll talk about all the possible reasons someone would do such a horrifying thing as pretend to love you.

Why would someone pretend to love you?

1. He doesn’t know what he wants from you

The first reason why someone may pretend to love you is that they’re not even aware of what they want in life.

In your situation, your partner simply knows that you make him feel safe. You make him feel as if he’s made the right choice. You’re the safe option. He sees that you’re good enough for him, so he’d rather pretend to love you than leave you.

This happens because he believes that he’ll fall in love with you eventually. He thinks that if he sticks around for long enough, he’ll develop actual feelings for you.

This is convenient because he won’t have the drama of a breakup looming over his head and he also wouldn’t need to go out there and date again. It’s just a bother to him.

However, he still doesn’t know where life is heading for him. He doesn’t want to define anything and he’s just there because he hasn’t made the actual decision yet.

For that exact reason, he pretends to be in love with you so he can keep his options open and make the decision when he’s ready to do so, even though your heart is breaking in the process.

2. He has no future plans

When a guy doesn’t have an idea of what his future looks like, he holds onto even the smallest aspects of his sanity. For your partner, that’s you.

He doesn’t know if he wants to get married one day, if he wants to stay in this particular town, or if he wants to change his entire life from the roots. You’re the only stable thing in his entire life and even though he may not love you, you’re still his.

Why would someone pretend to love you? Does the future scare people to the point where they’re not ready to move on by themselves? Well, I can certainly tell you that men who don’t have a stable plan for the future do fear being alone and not having the opportunity to hold onto their current life.

He wants to be able to come back to you no matter what he does in his life.

That sounds awfully selfish, but he doesn’t care. He may not even realize he’s doing this or that he’s hurting you with his little game. He puts on an act just to make sure that you take the next few steps so he can follow you, because he doesn’t know the way himself.

3. He needs to prove a point

It doesn’t matter if he needs to prove a point to himself or some people around him. He’ll pretend to love you just to get that satisfaction of having it look like he’s made it in life.

He needs to prove to himself that he can be in a serious relationship and that he can pull a gorgeous woman. His confidence was probably deflating and he needed you to prove to himself that he’s still got it in him.

Or he can’t handle rejection, so he needs to show himself that he can actually keep you around and maybe even put a ring on it. This man doesn’t feel sorry for putting on an act just to keep you interested in him.

If he lost you, if you decided to walk away from him, he’d be devastated. Especially because that would mean his self-deprecating thoughts were right and he isn’t lovable. He needs to prove a point and remind himself that he can be loved and adored.

However, that means that he needs to play pretend and be all lovey-dovey when he doesn’t feel like it. He doesn’t love you, but he believes that all he does need is your love for him.

And to obtain that love, he has to act as if he cares about you.

4. He wants to be able to brag

Why would someone pretend to love you? Well, that’s a good question and the reason you’re reading this, right? But let me ask you something else right now.

Would you say that you’re a beautiful woman? And I don’t want you to let your low self-esteem stop you from being rational about this. You can know that you’re attractive if many men have thrown themselves at you and they wanted to call you theirs.

Besides that, are you successful?

If you could describe yourself with these words, then you’re a woman who’s worth pining over. However, none of those things will make a man love you. It takes something much deeper than these qualities.

What those things will get you, though, is a long list of admirers. They want to call you their girlfriend and the fact that your partner made you fall for him is a huge flex.

He pretends to be in love with you simply because that gives him bragging rights. I’d love to say that men aren’t that shallow, but you and I both know I’d be lying.

He stays around to give you a reason to trust him and to make everyone else jealous. Someone else could probably treat you much better, but you fell for him because he did everything to make that happen. This doesn’t make him an awful person per se, but it doesn’t make him an honest man either.

He’s lying to you just to make his friends envious.

5. He has some personal reason

Sometimes, there isn’t a particularly clear answer to this question. I would love to tell you that everything can be explained, but that’s simply impossible.

So many women in this world bump into narcissists and manipulative jerks who only want to break us further. That personal vendetta could be one that’s connected to his narcissistic personality disorder.

He needs you to be the source of his narcissistic supply. A narcissist needs a victim for himself and he needs that person to be very compliant.

How is he going to get to that point if he doesn’t pretend to love you? He treats you kindly at the beginning so that by the time you see the cracks in his facade, you’re already in love with him.

You’re honest about everything – the most authentic you can be – but he does these awful things for his agenda. How did you even find yourself in this situation? You wanted a love story, not a horror movie.

Another personal reason could be that he doesn’t want to do any physical household duties so he pretends to love you so you’d do everything instead. He thinks that he owns you, so you should be his maid.

6. He wants children

If you’re wondering why someone would pretend to love you, the answer may be more obvious than you think. Does your partner talk about kids very often? Is he pressuring you into getting pregnant simply because he feels like that’s the purpose of your entire union?

When you’re in a relationship with a man who desperately wants children, he’s going to play pretend as long as he needs to just to get what he needs from you. And in this case, he wants someone to leave a legacy to.

He’ll start to love-bomb you and act as the most loving man in this entire world.

Especially if you’ve told him before that you don’t want children for whatever reason. He’ll find a way to convince you otherwise, even if that means disregarding your needs and disrespecting your body.

He’ll use every manipulation tactic in the book to get this idea going. He’ll tell you that he’s being persistent because he wants a family with the woman he loves (which, in this case, is you).

This will get more relevant as the years go on. That’s when he’ll start to tell you that your biological clock is ticking and you need to get going.

He’ll keep the facade up for as long as he needs to.

7. He wants to make his ex jealous

Why would he pretend to love you and go through all this trouble just to have you? In your eyes, you’re not that special, but to him, you’re a means to his goal.

Does he have a certain ex who broke his heart and is currently making him feel awful about himself? She was the love of his life and the girl he may never get over. But he makes sure to assure you that’s not the case. He tells you that you’re his only love and that you’re the one woman he wants in his life.

But you can’t help but stalk them both. They’re still following each other, and when you snooped through his phone, you saw that they text daily. What are you supposed to think of that right now?

He always posts pictures of the two of you, so it seems everything’s okay. But deep down, you know that he only does it to make her jealous. He wants to hurt her because she hurt him.

You’ve always been skeptical about their relationship and the way he talks about her, but you’ve never wanted to ask him about it. I mean, he did everything in his power to make you believe that he loves you.

Now that’s just unfair to you. He’s lying to you to get back at her. In what universe is that okay?

8. He’s there for the materialistic gain

Is your partner interested in your money? If you’re someone who’s well off and doesn’t need your husband to support you, then you know the drill. Someone with such wealth will always be on the radar of liars who just need you to get into that life.

You’re the type of girl who doesn’t flash her money, but you sure as hell have an abundance. You don’t need him to splurge on you because you can pay for your nails, a new car, your wardrobe, and so on.

He probably didn’t grow up in a very wealthy family, so he wants to know what it feels like to be part of that world. And you’re his ticket into that.

He can show off the things he got with your money and brag to his friends and family. Besides that, he wants to live stress-free.

He’ll act as if he’s the best boyfriend to ever exist. He won’t shy away from making a fool of himself just to show you how special you are to him. Nonetheless, he only uses his charm to get close to you and the money in your bank account.

You’ve probably been told this more times than you’re ready to hear, but he’s only pretending to love you if he’s faking his affection for you.

9. He feels societal pressure

We live in a society where everything is socially defined. We have a certain age at which we have to get married, a defined age bracket where it’s acceptable to have kids, and so on. If you don’t live up to society’s standards, you’re automatically an outcast.

When everyone around you is getting married and having kids, then you feel like you’re not an accomplished human being. Even though these things are always up to individual interpretation, you can’t deny the fact that everyone feels some sort of pressure.

With everything said, most of us feel like our life peaks in our twenties. That’s when we need to settle and establish a family to be able to enjoy life later on. Because no one can raise kids at an old age when you’re sick and tired of everything.

So, amid everything going on, you need to keep up with these people. Or at least that’s what you’re socially conditioned to do.

You can imagine how hard it is to find someone bearable to live the rest of your life with. He found you and at his age he doesn’t feel like going out to date anymore. He just wants a nice wife and house to settle into so he can get this pressure off of his shoulders.

I’m so sorry, but you know just as well as I do that this hits the nail on the head. You don’t want to hear it, but the truth can’t be avoided.

10. It’ll help his career

Why would someone pretend to love you, especially when there are so many wonderful people out there in the world who he could genuinely love? He’s stuck on you and he’s making your life miserable daily.

Well, there’s a good chance that it may help his career.

For instance, if you’re an executive at the company where he works or you’re simply higher up on the food chain, he’ll see that as an opportunity to further his career. He doesn’t want to put in the work and effort to do his job right, because he thinks he’ll get there much easier this way.

You could also be very knowledgeable in his field and there’s nothing that you can’t figure out. He needs that because he can learn a lot from you. He wants all the information he can get so he doesn’t fall behind.

He’ll charm you, flirt with you constantly, and then on the third date, tell you how he thinks you’re the woman of his dreams. This doesn’t have to be true, but he has a way with words.

All to help himself out.

11. He needs to get his family off his back

How many times did you hear from your family members that you needed to find a suitable husband? They were always on your case when it came to getting a partner and you didn’t want to disappoint them.

But as time went on, you realized that it was your happiness at stake and not theirs. So you simply ignored their nagging.

But he doesn’t seem to have the same power as you do. He isn’t able to put his foot down and tell them to back off. That’s why he brought you into this hairy situation. Who would’ve thought that you’d be with someone who doesn’t even love you?

His family has been so adamant about him getting married or at least having a partner, that they put this pressure onto his shoulders.

That’s one of the most common reasons someone would pretend to love another.

He found the first girl who was willing to give him a chance, so he wouldn’t need to meet the wrath of his mother. That’s what happens when someone’s a momma’s boy and doesn’t know how to say no to her. All he knows is to nod his head and go along with whatever she tells him to do.

You’ll know that this is the case when he talks to his parents more than he talks to you. For some reason, he seems to be a little aloof around you, but with them, he comes to life.

12. He’s seeking physical pleasure

And last, but certainly not least, is the fact that some men seek physical pleasure above anything and everything else. It’s their way of searching for fulfillment when they’re completely hollow inside.

When you’re the type of girl who only gives herself to men she trusts, men will often turn to deception and lies to get to you. He can’t be authentic with you if he wants you, because that would only shut all the doors.

When you first met him, he was the most amazing guy out there. He was kind, charming, and totally in love with you. Or so it seemed. You wanted to get to know him better, but he ended up giving you the spotlight.

He pretends to listen to you because he knows you’ll think he’s interested in getting to know you. In actuality, the only thing he wants from you is your body.

I know that it’s heartbreaking, but it’s unfortunately true. More often than not, you’ll find yourself in a situation where someone would pretend to love you and you won’t be able to fathom why. You just want a genuine connection with someone, but he isn’t the guy to give it to you.

If he’s not in love with you but only seeks physical pleasure, you’ll see it. You’ll recognize it in the way that when he gets what he came for, he starts to ghost you more often. And then he’ll walk out of your life before you’re even able to comprehend what happened.