Let me tell you, it’s no fun discovering he may be faking his feelings. Not to mention having to figure out the signs he pretends to love you.
You thought that this person loved you, but you’re not sure anymore. If anything, it feels that all this time he’s been bluffing you for God knows what reason.
Your relationship had a great start and you really thought that this guy was the one. You believed he could be your one and true love.
But somewhere down the road, you started noticing different patterns of behavior that were suspicious, to say the least. You realized that he’s acting weird and that his behavior is anything but an indicator of love.
So you are worried and have decided to look into the way guys act when they’re pretending to love you.
That’s how you’ve ended up here. And even though a part of you wants to live in denial, you feel that it’s your obligation to stare truth directly in the eye.
You want to know if your guy is showing signs he pretends to love you. If he is, then you have nothing to look forward to in this relationship.
Signs he’s pretending to love you
Even though it’s hard to accept that the one who could’ve been your Mr. Right is faking all of his feelings for you, that’s the only option you have if you don’t want to spend your life suffering in silence.
If he truly doesn’t love you, then you have no reason to be with him. Besides, he’ll at some point eventually decide to walk away since his feelings aren’t real.
That’s when you’ll end up with a shattered heart and no idea what hit you all of a sudden.
But if you face the facts early on, it will be much easier to move on after him and heal after the pain of unrequited love. That’s why your best move is to look at things objectively and realize what’s actually going on.
If he’s showing signs he’s pretending to love you then the only right thing to is to walk away.
Here are the huge red flags when it comes to relationships. If he’s showing most of them, then you’ll need to reconsider your choice of spending the rest of your life with him.
1. He keeps you a secret
At first, you thought that he wanted to keep your relationship private and away from all those curious eyes of others. And you liked that idea a lot.
You were never really a fan of relationships where others knew everything about what was going on behind closed doors. A relationship like that was never your cup of tea.
But later on, you realized that there’s a difference between keeping your relationship private and keeping it completely secret. When your guy opts for the latter, it could be seen as one of the signs he pretends to love you.
It’s one thing that he doesn’t want others to know about what’s going on in your relationship. But it’s something entirely different if no one even knows that you’re in one.
In that case, privacy turns into secrecy and there’s usually always an underlying reason for that.
If your partner doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s in a relationship with you, then you can’t expect much from him.
The chances are that he’ll leave you for someone else or that he’s already cheating on you. Whatever the case, it’s a red flag and it suggests that your boyfriend’s feelings aren’t real.
2. You don’t really know where you’re standing
If I were to ask you right now if you and your guy are official, you probably won’t know what to answer.
Even though you never had “the talk,” you still feel like you’re in a relationship. Plus, he’s told you multiple times that he loves you and he even calls you his girlfriend.
But then again, on those rare occasions when he has to introduce you to some of his friends, he acts all weird and never lets them know that you’re more than friends.
Instead, he introduces you by your name, no relationship status given.
Because of that, you don’t really know where you stand. Sometimes he acts all nice and treats you like his girlfriend. Other times, you get no treatment at all and you kinda feel as if he doesn’t know who you are.
This is a big telltale sign he’s pretending to love you.
He’s telling you all those sweet words to lure you in and keep you by his side. But then, whenever he’s meant to be real about what the two of you are, he ignores the matter altogether.
If he truly loved you, you would never even have to ask yourself where you’re standing in his life. The answer would be more than obvious.
3. He avoids future talk
When a guy falls in love, he plans his whole future around this one specific person. All of his dreams start to include her because he can’t imagine his life without her by his side.
But your guy avoids any talk of the future as if it’s some kind of deadly disease. He keeps dodging the questions about your future plans as if they were bullets aimed straight at his heart.
“We” still hasn’t replaced “I” since all of his plans are only about him. You’re not even a side character in them.
Any future arrangements you agreed upon were your initiative and it probably took you a long time to get him to say yes. And that all made you wonder if this guy’s feelings are real or if he’s faking them.
Unfortunately, if he doesn’t include you in his future then this could be one of the signs he’s only pretending to love you. His emotions are fake and he’s probably using them to get things his way.
Once he becomes bored, he’ll be out of your life and you’ll be left wondering what happened.
4. He chooses physical over emotional intimacy
Choosing physical intimacy over emotional intimacy is a clear sign he’s only pretending to love you. And here’s why I say that.
If he keeps avoiding opening up to you emotionally and sharing his feelings with you, then your guy is hiding something. In that case, physical intimacy sounds much easier to achieve and to him, it’s the perfect go-to.
He may obsessively kiss you, but he’ll never tell you what he’s going through. He’ll choose a display of affection instead of deep, thoughtful conversations as it’s much easier to fake than feelings.
Instead of getting to know you better and sharing his dreams and fears with you, he’ll be happy with excessive physical intimacy as it doesn’t require him to be vulnerable with you.
You might find an excuse for his behavior, saying that he’s simply not an emotional guy and that you don’t want to put pressure on him. But when a guy truly loves you, besides being intimate with you, he also wants to know everything about you.
That way, he feels closer to the one he’s chosen to be his life partner.
But it’s obvious that your partner still isn’t ready for that, which makes you wonder if his feelings are even genuine.
5. He’s not there when you need him
True love is about being there for your partner whenever they need your help. It’s about having their back when times get hard and they need some sort of support.
But your guy fails at this test big time. Every time you need him badly, he neglects you and isn’t there to help you.
At first, you put it down to him just being busy, but it’s simply impossible that he’s always busy when you call him yet free when others need him.
If you’re looking for a sign that he pretends to love you, this is about as clear as it gets. All that lip service he’s dishing you is only his way of keeping you close for as long as he wants.
But in reality, his words don’t mean much since his actions are always on the opposite side of the spectrum. They don’t add up whatsoever and that only goes to show that he’s faking his feelings for you.
If he truly loved you, he would never leave you hanging. Especially not when genuinely need his help or support.
He would set you as a priority because that’s what real love is all about. It’s about being there for your partner whenever they need you.
6. Your family and friends have a hunch that he’s bad choice
They say that our family and friends usually have a better understanding of the guys we date. They look at them through different eyes and can spot any irregularities.
But whenever their opinion doesn’t match yours, the chances are that you choose to ignore them and do as you want.
In most cases, you’ll regret that decision, but eventually, it all comes to that simple yet hurtful sentence: You were right.
If your friends and family have been telling you that your guy is a bad choice and he’s only pretending that he loves you, then in most cases that’s the actual truth.
They spotted the odd behavior and saw all of the red flags that you chose to ignore. And that’s why their opinion is probably right.
7. He’s always right and you’re the one to blame
Couples in healthy relationships hit obstacles, but they also look for solutions. Instead of playing blame games, they work together on finding the answer to the problem.
But in your case, things don’t look anything like this.
Instead of admitting his part of the blame, your partner keeps protecting himself and makes you feel like the one who caused the problem.
No matter what happened, you’re always the one at fault. He makes no effort to solve the issues and acts as if everything he does is right.
This is an unhealthy way of dealing with relationship challenges. It can even classify as gaslighting as all of the blame falls onto your shoulders. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Whether you’d like to believe it or not, this is also one of the signs he pretends to love you. If he truly feels the way he says he does, he’ll never make you feel like everything is your fault.
That’s wrong on so many levels.
8. He often chooses his friends over you
This guy never makes you a priority in his life. Instead, it’s always his friends who come before you, no matter how hard you fight against this.
Everything else is always much more important than spending time with you, and this has seriously started to bother you.
But then, whenever you confront him, he acts as if he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. He tells you how he loves you and how you’re just being too possessive.
After that, you give up on fighting him as he’s got you convinced that you overreacted.
But let me tell you, it’s not normal that he always puts you last. If he has enough time for everything and everyone else other than you, then there’s something deeply wrong.
He says he loves you, but this behavior is a sign that he’s just pretending.
9. He calls you only when it’s convenient for him
If you want to meet with him, he’s usually too busy and doesn’t have time. It’s either his work or he’s already made plans that prevent you from seeing him.
But whenever it’s convenient for him, he’ll have no trouble calling you. Even if it means dialing your number in the middle of the night.
If it works for him, then it must work for you, right? Wrong.
He might even accuse you of not caring enough about him if you by any chance decide that you can’t see him at 2 in the morning.
This is him playing you – another sign he’s pretending to love you. And watch out, because he’ll play with you until you break.
And when you’re broken and no longer fun to play with, that’s when he’ll walk out of your life without a second thought.
10. He doesn’t miss you when you’re gone
You could be gone for days or even months and it looks like this guy won’t even notice it. He’ll not once text to see what’s going on and he certainly won’t bother to call.
Your absence doesn’t make him miss you whatsoever. Instead, he seems to be enjoying it.
Then when you’re finally back and you reach out to him, he’ll sweet-talk you into believing how he can’t wait to see you.
But the lack of communication from his side only goes to show that he’s faking it. It’s obvious that he’s only pretending that he loves you as everything he does speaks otherwise.
11. He’s never introduced you to his friends and family
When it’s the two of you, he acts all romantic. But every time you mention meeting his family or friends, he freezes.
It’s obvious that he has no intention of introducing you to them, which is weird. If all of the things he’s telling you are true, then why doesn’t he want you to get to know the important people in his life?
It makes no sense.
A guy who loves you truly can’t wait to have you meet those who mean the most to him.
He wants you to know that you have a special place in his heart, and he shows you that by introducing you to all of the others who hold just as much value in his life.
But one of the signs he pretends to love you is if he avoids introducing you to his family and friends while whispering in your ear that you’re the most important person in his life. Those two things can’t go together.
12. You’re not included in all aspects of his life
When you find your true love, you share your whole life with that person because you know that they’re your biggest support.
But it looks like your guy doesn’t feel that way about you. Instead of including you in his life, you often have no idea what he’s going through.
Sometimes, you feel like he’s allowed you access only to certain aspects of his life. You have no idea who his friends are, how he spends his free time, or how things with work are going.
Whenever you ask him something personal, he ignores the question or gives you a vague answer.
He’s pretending to love you, can’t you see the signs? If his feelings were real, he wouldn’t be hiding anything from you. He would share his problems with you if he truly feels about you the way he says he does.
You know when and how to be there for him. But it’s obvious that he’s hiding things from you as he doesn’t want you to be an ever-present figure in his life.
If that wasn’t the case, you’d then feel like you’re a part of his life.
13. He plays hot-and-cold
One day, he’s the picture-perfect boyfriend. You enjoy your time together and you finally feel like he’s changed for the better. It feels as if he’s prioritized you and all the words he’s been saying now make sense.
But a day later and you notice that he’s a completely different person. He’s back to his old self, ignoring your calls and giving you excuses that he’s too busy.
It feels as if you’re endlessly picking up daisies, playing “He loves me, he loves me not” as every day brings something different.
One day, he praises you and tells you how much he loves you. The next, he doesn’t even bother to pick up his phone.
This can be torture as you never have any idea where you’re standing. Does he love you or is he faking it?
Hot-and-cold behavior such as this serves as a sign that he is pretending he loves you. He knows that he’ll enchant you with his sticky-sweet words and you’ll forgive him for his prior deeds.
And this will last for as long as he wants it to. Unless, of course, you decide to cut ties before it’s too late.
14. He acts differently in front of his friends
If you’re hanging out all alone, he’s the kind of a guy every girl would wish to have. But if you accidentally bump into some of his friends, his whole behavior changes.
He ignores you completely, pretends as if you’re not standing right next to him. He may even disrespect you and hush you up when you try to say something.
Take this as as one of the big signs he pretends to love you.
By the blank look on his friends’ faces, it’s clear that they have no idea who you are. And judging by your boyfriend’s reaction (if we can even call him that), he doesn’t want them to get to know you either.
15. He doesn’t show interest in your life
He knows how to act all lovey-dovey when you’re alone but he fails to show any interest in your life whatsoever.
If you were to ask him where you’re working, chances are he’d have no idea. He doesn’t have a clue why you were stressed out the whole of last week, and he clearly doesn’t care about what you’re going through right now.
This guy is only here until he gets bored. He’s pretending that he loves you and his lack of interest in your life only confirms the fact.
16. You know it in your gut
Obvious or not, one of the signs he’s pretending to love you is if you feel it in your gut.
Your instinct is real, it’s there, and it doesn’t want to trick you. Instead, it’s trying to show you that you’re missing some important red flags.
And even though you keep convincing yourself that everything is okay, your gut is desperately trying to tell you that things aren’t as you keep portraying them.
A guy who keeps telling you that he loves you yet shows the opposite in his actions is faking his emotions for whatever reason. The thing he calls true love is far from it and you should never let yourself settle for less than you deserve.
Admit the truth to yourself and be ready to have a serious talk with the one who’s playing with your heart. If you realize he’s leading you on, the best thing you can and should do is leave.
That way, you’ll save yourself all of the unnecessary pain you’ll inevitably experience somewhere along the road.