There are many reasons why women start pulling away, even though you proved to her that you’re serious about her and want to take your relationship to the next level. That’s why my best advice to you is this: When she pulls away, do nothing!
Don’t be too discouraged if you notice her pulling away from you. This happens often, even to the best of us. You might be hanging out with her, you develop certain feelings, and just like that, everything changes and things start to go downhill.
But why do women pull away in the first place? Is it your fault that she’s losing interest in you? Or could it be that she just needs some space and nothing else?
There’s truthfully no short answer to this question. It all depends on the situation you’re in and whether or not you made a mistake that may have potentially hurt her.
Also, it could be that the issue is internal, meaning that she’s battling her own demons and she needs some time away from you.
Whatever the case, when she pulls away, do (almost) nothing. What do I mean by “almost”? Well, even if it’s not your fault, you can still do certain things to get her attraction – I’ll get into these in a minute.
In this article, we’ll talk about the possible reasons a woman pulls away, as what you can do to increase your chances of getting her back.
Just keep in mind that there are red flags that she lost interest in you and may be on the lookout for a different guy.
10 reasons she pulls away
Men and women are different when it comes to pulling away. Men usually pull away because they’re either scared of a committed relationship or they’re simply not interested in pursuing the woman.
But when it comes to women, they are far more complicated. And as such, there are many reasons why a woman may be pulling away.
1. You don’t see eye to eye on many things
If a woman notices that you and she share a lot of core values and beliefs, then she’ll open up to you and be honest about her feelings.
She will be like an open book and won’t feel the need to hold back on anything because she knows that you think the same way.
On the other hand, if you and her don’t see eye to eye on many things, then she may pull away from you and start rejecting you gently.
Also, it could be that she’s looking for something more casual and fun when all you want is a stable and long-lasting relationship. Because of the conflicting intentions, she’ll feel uncomfortable and start looking for a way out.
She may start rejecting your phone calls and ignoring you on social media. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings so she gives you these subtle signs that she isn’t interested in you anymore.
2. You’re not her type
There’s a possibility that you’re not the man of her dreams or at least you’re not the type of man she’s looking for.
I’m sure she showed some initial interest in you, but don’t forget that interest can easily fade away over time. It’s not all about the looks, you know. Beauty fades, but what stays is the bond that you create with the other person.
Women are emotional human beings and it could be that she started talking to you just because she felt like it. Maybe she was bored and was looking for someone she could spice things up a bit with.
It’s a well-known truth that women have a bigger selection and they get hit on almost every day. It’s easier for them to find a man than it is for a man to find a woman.
But, if she’s the kind of a woman who’s always looking for an “upgrade,” then that could be the reason she pulls away from you. Perhaps there’s another man in play and you don’t even know about him.
3. She wants you to chase her
This is one of the most common reasons why women pull away and, to be honest, it’s a pretty immature move. As I mentioned earlier, when she pulls away, do nothing and give yourself some time to process your emotions.
it’s sad to say, but some girls act cold and uninterested as a tool to control you so that you fall head over heels for them. They think this tactic enables them to manipulate your emotions and capture your thoughts and as a result, you start chasing them.
But you’re a strong man who won’t give in to this little trick of hers. You know that when she pulls away, you should sit back and do nothing. If you do the opposite and chase her, she’ll realize that she has you in the palm of her hand and that you’ll do anything for her.
By ignoring her, you get to regain control of the situation and it will force her to realize that there’s a possibility of losing you forever. She might even try to restore your previous relationship.
Although, this type of woman usually isn’t worthy of your time and energy. She’s manipulative and emotionally immature who only thinks about her own needs and feelings.
4. Things are moving much faster than she anticipated
Another reason a woman might pull away is that she didn’t expect things to progress this quickly. Now that you two are in a committed relationship, she’s freaking out and looking for a way out.
When two people are in love, everything gets thrown off balance and your priorities suddenly change. Your mental health and emotional well-being aren’t a priority to you anymore and instead, you’re thinking only about your partner.
That’s why some people are afraid of commitment – they’re scared of what might happen next.
Perhaps you two really hit it off at the beginning and you thought that asking her to be your girlfriend so soon was the right move, but it ended up being a total disaster.
Maybe she got scared and overwhelmed by everything that she started pulling away from you. Maybe all she needs is some air and a couple of weeks apart from you.
5. She’s terrified to fall in love
Not everyone has the same perception of love. While some have an easy time falling in love and being in a relationship with a person, others are afraid to give a piece of themselves to another.
Perhaps she got rejected too many times and can’t see that her feelings are reciprocated. Or it could be that she has some unresolved issues from her past relationships and can’t move forward before dealing with them first.
Either way, some people take longer to process their emotions and decide whether or not they’re ready to pursue a romantic relationship with someone.
There’s a possibility that she’s really into you, but is afraid to let go of her past.
The worst mistake you can do is to pressure her, so when she pulls away, do nothing. Give her space and talk to her about it. Show her that you understand what she’s going through and that you’ll be there to support her.
6. She thinks you’re only interested in a one night stand
I’m not saying that every woman is like this, but they usually tend to think that many men want only to get them to the bedroom and that’s it.
It could be that this happened to her before, so it’s perfectly understandable that she has some trust issues now. Because of her bad past experiences, she has a difficult time believing that you’re being genuine about your feelings.
The only thing that crosses her mind is that you’re going to use her on your first date and after you get what you want, you’ll dump her just like those other guys.
That’s why you need to gain her trust and be there for her whenever she needs you.
7. You came on too strong
Another reason why she pulls away could be that you’re too much – and not in a good way. Maybe your neediness got the best of you and you didn’t realize that you’re a bit aggressive.
A needy man is a huge turn-off for a woman, as it shows you aren’t capable of controlling your own life. Perhaps she’s ghosting you to keep you at distance and that’s why you need to take it easy.
Don’t cause her to freak out and retreat. You want her to love you for who you are and you can’t force that if you send her a dozen messages a day.
8. She thinks you’re not serious about her
There are times when girls can’t recognize the signs a man is serious about them and instead they start pulling away. Maybe she misunderstood you and thought that you had something or someone else in mind.
If that’s the case, then don’t dwell on it too much. Eventually, she’ll realize that you were being honest and she’ll come running back to you.
9. You did something wrong
There’s also the possibility that you either said or did something to hurt her and now she’s pulling away.
Maybe she was originally interested in you and wanted to start a romantic relationship with you. But now that you’ve hurt her, she’s doubting whether you’re the man for her.
If you’re sure you haven’t said or done anything wrong, there’s a chance she found out something about you and didn’t like it at all.
Some women pull away instead of confronting men about it.
10. She’s bored
If you two have reached a plateau in your relationship, then that could be the reason why she’s pulling away.
Maybe she got jealous of her friends going out every night and having the time of their life, while the peak of your romance involves a movie and takeout. If that’s the case, she’s not all that excited about your Friday nights.
Your relationship became dull over time and you didn’t do anything to improve your situation. In a nutshell, she’s pulling away because she’s bored.
Common mistakes men make when a woman pulls away
1. You try even harder
The most common mistake men make when a woman seems cold and uninterested is that they try even harder to make the woman fall in love with them.
You start chasing her harder, but you don’t realize that you’re chasing after her validation. You begin texting and calling her every couple of minutes and asking her to give you an answer as to why she’s pulling away.
Perhaps you even go to extremes and show up to where she usually eats her lunch or stalk her social media.
Before all of that, it could be that she was the one chasing your validation, but you got entangled in all those emotions and romance. By doing this, you ruined all the fun and mystery there was between you two. You lowered her attraction and chances of being with her altogether.
She no longer needs to chase you, because you proved to her that she has conquered you. She’s completely confident with it and knows that you won’t be looking for another girl.
By pulling away, she’s actually showing you that she has you in the palm of her hand.
2. You begin apologizing for anything and everything
Sometimes if a woman pulls away, the man thinks it’s his fault and he starts apologizing for everything he’s ever done or said to her.
Perhaps you forgot to send her a good night message because you got back late from work. Or you didn’t cancel your friends’ birthday party when she wanted to see you.
Whatever the scenario, you profusely apologize and explain your decisions, and that’s when she starts pulling away from you. In order to convince her that you’ve done nothing wrong, you say that you’re sorry a thousand times in the hopes that she’ll forgive you.
But you forget one very important detail: Women are emotional beings. You can’t expect her to believe you if she’s consumed by hatred or disappointment.
On top of that, apologizing for something that wasn’t actually your mistake makes you seem weak.
Now if you’ve hurt her in any way, then yes, you should definitely apologize to her. But the scenarios that I’ve mentioned don’t call for an apology.
3. You shower her with gifts
Another common mistake a man makes when a woman pulls away is that he sends her flowers or buys her expensive gifts, hoping that he’ll get her back.
I’m not at all saying that you shouldn’t surprise your girlfriend with gifts when you’re married or in a relationship. But you only do that when you’re certain that she genuinely loves you or is highly attracted to you.
Only then is she making herself available to you and those beautiful flowers and expensive gifts have a purpose.
But you should never do that when she pulls away. It’s a major turn-off and it will have the same effect as you chasing her.
The more you smother her, the more she’ll be reluctant to give your love another chance.
By suffocating her with all those presents, you’re telling her that you’re afraid of losing her. On top of that, you’re giving off the wrong impression of yourself and putting pressure on her.
She may even interpret that as you forcing yourself on her.
4. You start pulling away yourself
I know that you’ve heard of the proverb “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” I also know that you’ve thought about giving her a taste of her own medicine, but believe me, it’ll only backfire on you.
When she pulls away, do nothing and give yourself some time and space to reflect on your situation.
After all, pulling away from her after she did that to you first, is just an immature and inauthentic move and it’s not what you’re actually feeling.
I understand that you believe it may have the same effect on her as it does on you, but it’s not likely that she’ll come back to you if you pull away from her.
If need be, reach out to a therapist or counselor and let them help you cope with it in a healthy way. If you don’t do that and instead continue on your own path, it will only lead to a disaster or, even worse, divorce.
It’s okay if you pull away because you’re uninterested in pursuing your relationship. But you should never do it just for the sake of teaching her some lesson or manipulating her to get her back.
5. You project your love
Telling her how much you love her and how you can’t live without her is another mistake that many men make when a woman pulls away.
You think that if she only knew how you feel about her that she would come back to you and feel the same way she did at the beginning of your relationship. Well, let me tell you something – you’re wrong to think this way!
This is something that only works in Hollywood and those cheesy romantic movies. You can’t project your love onto her.
The way you feel has absolutely zero effect on how she feels about you. She’s either interested in you or she’s not. You telling her that you can’t breathe without her won’t change a thing.
In fact, it’ll show her that you’re weak and desperate. There’s a time and place to tell your significant other that you love her, but it’s never when she’s pulling away from you.
6. You get passive-aggressive
Being passive-aggressive in this situation won’t benefit either of you.
I understand that you may have read somewhere that you need to mirror her effort level if you want her back, but that doesn’t mean you need to punish her for pulling away.
You’ll never reignite the spark you once had if you do that. You’ll only show her that you’re a juvenile boy who’s unable to manage his emotions.
Also, you’ll bring yourself into a negative mindset that will certainly lead you to do things that you’ll regret later on.
Manipulating her will make things worse, and in return create a counter-effect: She’ll start playing mind games with you too.
7. You end things with her
There are men out there who go overboard and break up with their woman once she starts pulling away from them.
Yes, this may get her to chase you, at least temporarily, but it’s also a sign of emotional weakness.
Don’t get me wrong, you have every right to break up with her if she’s being consistently disrespectful. But in this case, she’s actually not being rude, she’s just following her intuition and emotions.
She’s not attacking your character in any way, she’s listening to her gut.
As I mentioned earlier, women are emotional, intuitive human beings and their emotions may change very quickly. That’s why your best solution is to give her a little time to see what she thinks about getting back together.
When she pulls away, do nothing
There could be various reasons for a woman pulling away from you, but there’s not much that you can do about it if it really happens.
Well, the first thing is to not give her any reasons to do so. The only thing you can control is yourself and how you come across. This means that you should never chase after her if she pulls away.
Also, don’t be needy and show desperation when all she wants is a real man who knows how to control himself and his urges.
Don’t be creepy and never stalk her – in real life or online. Just because she messaged you a couple of times doesn’t mean she’s fallen for you.
Just be yourself and don’t sacrifice your friends, family or life because of her.
While there’s no guarantee that you’ll get her back, showing her that you’re a confident and independent guy will make her less likely to pull away even further.
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