Think aloud
When a guy suddenly goes missing from your life, you want to find out what to text him when he disappears. Is there a message fit for the occasion that will make him realize he’s made a mistake?
It’s never easy figuring out that a guy who had great potential to be your boyfriend ends up MIA. Two days ago, you had the time of your life hanging out with him and now, it feels like he doesn’t live on planet earth anymore.
So, instead of enjoying your life, you’re wondering what you should text him to let him know that his behavior isn’t right.
Do you accuse him straight away? Do you rant to him about his immature behavior or do you simply give him some more time and wait for him to come back to you?
Before we dig deeper into the messages you can text a guy when he disappears, I believe that you’d also like to know why guys disappear and then reappear in the first place? Why do they go missing just to come back days or weeks later?
This behavior has probably always been a mystery to you but you’re about to find out all of the hidden secrets about it. Believe it or not, it usually has nothing to do with you.
Why do guys pull away and disappear from your life, without any warning?
When you meet the perfect guy, the last thing you want to happen is for him to ghost you. You don’t really think that as your relationship progresses, he’ll one day decide to vanish from your life completely and then come back when it suits him.
I know how frustrating this behavior can be, as I’ve experienced it firsthand. A guy first shows you how amazing it will feel to live life with him.
He becomes a part of your reality and then one day, he’s completely gone. No calls, no text messages, and no chance for you to bump into him on the street.
It feels like he’s hiding under a rock and you won’t be able to stumble upon him until he decides it’s time for that. But why does this keep happening?
Almost every one of your friends has met at least one guy who disappeared from their lives suddenly and then decided to come back after some time.
It’s obvious that there’s an underlying reason that explains this behavior. There’s a pattern that sees through this game that some guys obviously love to play.
1. He’s not ready for a relationship
A guy can disappear from your life if he realizes that he’s still not ready for a relationship. If he’s afraid of commitment then he won’t feel ready to make a move.
The easiest option is to take a step back and pull away until the situation calms down.
Of course, it would be best for both of you if he simply told you about his fear. That way, you would be able to give him some time and space to figure out what he wants.
But when a guy is a coward who doesn’t know how to express his feelings, then he’ll choose the easiest way out. Instead of sharing with you what’s bothering him, he’ll simply disappear, without any explanation.
There’s always an option. You can realize that you’re not ready for a relationship and simply admit that to the other person or you can sneak out and leave them hanging as if you’re better than them and they don’t deserve to know the reason.
It’s obvious what this kind of guy would choose.
2. He’s immature
Immature men go MIA. They disappear without even sending a text and they leave you waiting for them to come back.
If a guy pulls away without any justification and starts ignoring your calls and texts, it could mean that he’s too immature for a relationship.
Even if he doesn’t think that you’re a match, he should be able to speak to you about that. He should be able to tell you that he’s not interested or that he thinks you’re incompatible.
By doing so, you would know what’s actually going on and you wouldn’t get your hopes up. But since he left you abruptly, it’s obvious that he’s still too immature for you.
He doesn’t deserve you in the first place and you shouldn’t even consider waiting for him.
Why would you waste your time on someone who can’t give you a reason as to why he’s leaving? It literally makes no sense.
3. He’s keeping you as an option
When a guy disappears without a text or a call, it could mean that he’s trying to keep you as an option. This is especially if it isn’t the first time that he’s come and gone from your life as he wanted.
He doesn’t want to break things off completely so he leaves the door slightly open. This allows him to come back whenever he wants as he never officially ended things with you.
He never told you that you’re not his type or that he doesn’t like you the same way you like him. Instead, he simply pulled away without an explanation so that he could walk back into your life the same way.
He’ll come up with an excuse or two as to why he wasn’t around for a while and act like nothing happened. As long as he can easily walk back into your life whenever he wants, he’ll be one happy man.
He gets the benefits of a relationship without having to commit. It’s every immature man’s dream!
But in this case, you must realize that you’ll never be anything more than an option. You’ll be the backup plan he’ll come back to whenever he has no other choices to pick from.
4. He’s possessive
When a guy disappears from your life only to reappear sometime later, it can actually mean that he’s too possessive.
It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to be with you for whatever reason. At the same time, he doesn’t want to let you go and give you the closure you need to break up with him forever.
He chooses to keep you on the side and prevents you from finding someone who’ll treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Nevertheless, he knows that he’ll never commit to you, as you’re not what he’s looking for.
He’s being possessive and he knows that. But he doesn’t want to let you go as that would mean that he’ll lose you forever.
And trust me, that’s something his possessive mind can’t accept.
5. He’s playing mind games with you
A guy knows the effects his behavior has on you. Every time he disappears from and then reappears in your life, he succeeds at manipulating you to play by his rules.
At some point, he’ll get you to chase after him, since that’s what he’s actually trying to get. He’s playing mind games with you and he’s aware of that.
His goal is to get you to do as he wants because that’s the only way you’ll keep welcoming him back. Combined with pulling away, he’ll probably use some other techniques of manipulation such as putting you down and gaslighting you.
If he succeeds at convincing you that he’s your best chance as no other guy would ever love you, then he’ll secure himself a place next to you. It won’t longer matter how many times he’ll ghost you as he’ll know that you’ll always accept him back with a smile on your face.
So, you should reconsider what’s going on and try to realize whether it’s time to cross him off once and for all.
What to text him when he disappears?
When he vanishes from your life completely, you’ll probably get an urge to text him. At first, you’ll be worried about whether everything’s okay and then, you’ll simply want to know whether he’s ever coming back to you.
Even though a part of you knows that he doesn’t deserve you reaching out to him, the other part still desperately wants to do it.
After you realize that you actually need to send him a message in order to give yourself closure and to try to figure out what’s going on, it’ll be time for the next step. The step where you’re supposed to type your message.
But what to text him when he disappears? Do you accuse him of playing with your feelings straight away or do you act like everything’s okay, even though deep down you’re burning with rage?
Well, there are several options and you can always choose which way you want to go. Are you willing to give him one more chance or has he wasted all of them?
This is your time to make the right decision.
1. Expose him
He’s well aware of his behavior. He knows that what he’s doing is wrong but he doesn’t really want to stop since he doesn’t think that you have seen through him.
So, if you’re trying to figure out what to text him when he disappears, you can always choose to be direct and blunt. Expose him and let him realize that you know what’s going on.
It’s way too obvious that he’s ghosting you on purpose and you want to get answers. In this case, you can text him something like this.
Hey, I just realized that I haven’t heard back from you in a while and I’m a bit confused. I know that we had a great time hanging out but I also know how tricky it can be for guys when they realize they’re catching feelings or when they want different things.
So, I just want to make sure whether we’re on the same page as I really appreciate it when guys can admit that they’re not into the relationship. Your honesty could save us a lot of time and energy so it would be great if you could just tell me what’s going on.
When you text him something like this, he may feel the need to finally be honest with you. Exposing him can make him realize his mistake and in that case, he’ll want you to know that you shouldn’t get your hopes up as you don’t want the same things from life.
Even though hearing him say something like this won’t be easy, at least you’ll know where you stand.
2. Ask him directly how he feels about the two of you
Just because he beats around the bush and doesn’t want to be honest with you, it doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to act the same way. When he’s avoiding the truth, you can directly ask him about it.
So, what to text him when he vanishes from your life without giving you any explanation? Well, what about something like this:
I had a great time hanging out with you but I just want to be sure that you feel the same way about me. I would love to spend more time with you to see how we get along but if that’s not a part of your plan, then I don’t want to waste my time.
Reading this message will probably make him reply to you. But if he’s a complete douche who doesn’t care about your feelings at all, then you shouldn’t be surprised if you still don’t hear back from him.
At least you’ll know it’s time for you to completely give up on this thing between you, as all of the waiting probably won’t get you anywhere.
3. Let him know what you want from him
When he disappears from your life without a sign, you can easily text him with what you expect from him. Let him know that you have your standards and that you’re not willing to discard them just because you like him.
He must know that you can clearly tell what’s going on and you won’t tolerate his behavior. If he can’t give you what you want then you’re out of his life – forever.
When you want to text him what your needs are, it can sound something like this:
Hey, I hope you’re doing okay since I haven’t heard back from you. Everything was going great until one point when you decided to ghost me.
That’s why I want you to know that I have certain expectations when it comes to dating. I’m looking for someone who’s okay with regular communication and who won’t keep disappearing from my life whenever he gets scared.
If that’s not something you can deliver then it’s best for us to end our story here.
It’s obvious that you can’t give me what I want the same way I can’t tolerate what you expect me to. That’s why it will be best to go our separate ways if we realize that we’re not a match.
This text message will show him that you have your boundaries and you’re not willing to cross them because of him. If he can’t give you what you want then maybe it’s best if he walks away and never comes back.
Other things you can do when he disappears (if you decide that you don’t want to text him)
When he disappears and you don’t want to message him but you also don’t want to spend days thinking about him, is there something else you can do? Well, there actually is and you’re about to find out what.
1. Admit that he’s not the guy for you
It sounds like such a clichĂ©, I know. But you won’t be able to move on after him until you admit to yourself that the two of you could never work.
You weren’t made to last and there isn’t much you could do to change that, especially because he doesn’t put in any effort. Instead of making sure not to lose you, he willingly walked away from you and treated you as an option.
This only goes to show that this guy never deserved you in the first place. I know that you like him and that you may have even thought that he was the one but he used his actions to show you that he’s not the kind of a guy you expected him to be.
He’s just a player whose only goal in life is to have as many women as possible. Until he finally realizes that this behavior won’t get him anywhere, he won’t be able to commit to just one woman.
And that’s why he’s not the one made for you. He’s only a lesson and nothing more than that.
2. Ignore him completely
When I say ignore him, I mean ignore him completely. Pretend like he doesn’t even exist, like you never even met him.
Even if he reappears in your life and reaches out to you, do your best to show him that you don’t want to have anything to do with him. He had his chance and he decided to waste it.
Coming back to you isn’t an option and you won’t allow him to do that. At first, it’ll be hard to ignore the one person with whom you actually saw a life together but once you realize how he tried to play with your feelings, you’ll then figure out that it’s the only right thing to do.
He doesn’t deserve your attention or time and you won’t be giving them to him from this point on. Even if he begs you to come back, you shouldn’t reply to him, as that’s what he’s earned with his behavior.
At some point, he’ll realize how badly he treated you. He’ll realize that he lost a girl who actually wanted to be his, one who would have fought for him and defended him in front of everyone.
But I guess that wasn’t what he needed at the time. He was looking for a fun way to play with your heart while you were offering him a serious relationship based on love and trust.
Now that he’s shown you how little he really appreciated you, it’s time for you to show him your back. Walk away from him and be the one who’s playing the ignoring game.
Only then will he realize how bad of a mistake he made.
3. Move on with your life
You need to move on with your life. You need to show him that you won’t be stuck in one place, waiting for him to make a move.
No, you won’t be waiting for him to change his mind once again and walk into your life feeding you on crumbs of love. You’ve been waiting for him for way too long and he doesn’t deserve any more of your patience.
He wasted all of his chances and now it’s time for you to get rid of him completely. He showed you that he can easily disappear from your life and that’s why you’ll show him that you can just as easily not text him and move on after him like you never even met him.
Sometimes, we give our best to people who deserve nothing. We give them our time and attention and show them what love feels like.
In return, they leave us brokenhearted and sobbing in pain. But that’s not what this guy is going to get.
He never deserved you and he finally showed you that when he decided to disappear from your life without any explanation.
The time you spent waiting for him is over. You’re finally ready to move on with your life and to enjoy every second of it.
You don’t need him to be happy and you’re about to show him that.
At first, he probably won’t be bothered but once he realizes that he’s lost such an amazing girl, he’ll beg you to come back. When that happens, you’ll already have learned so much from the experience that you won’t let him fool you twice.
You must be aware of what you deserve and what’s way beneath you. Even if you decide to text him after he disappears from your life, you should always have in mind your worth.
Don’t let him walk over you, no matter what, as no guy should ever treat you that way.
