Think aloud
You have a feeling that you’re seeing the signs he’s too busy for a relationship but what if he’s just not that into you? It’s hard to know the answer to this question, without making a fool of yourself and going out of your way to ask him about it.
You want to know. You really want to make sure that you’re not wasting your time (or his, for that matter), but you believe that there’s something more to it.
So what’s going on in his head? Is he just too busy for you or is he just not interested?
And what if he is just busy, is there a way for you to make sure that things don’t fall apart before they’ve even begun?
A man who’s busy can seem like he’s playing a game of hot and cold with you. Your heart won’t be able to handle his absence or weird mood swings.
You’ll believe that everything’s your fault and that there’s nothing you can do to change things. You’ll feel like he’s just creating distance between you two but he could actually just be overloaded by his obligations.
He could have so much work to do that he’s completely forgotten about his personal life or he could just be trying to send you a message that he’s not that interested. So do you just stay silent about it or should you talk to him to try and make things better?
Let’s answer all of your questions and make you feel safe again. There’s no reason for you to sit on the sidelines and feel neglected by this man.
We can fix this issue, for sure.
9 signs he’s too busy for a relationship
He must be a great guy if you’re here to make excuses for him. You believe that he’s interested in you but at the same time, you don’t want something casual.
You want someone who will put as much effort into your relationship as you, not someone who will take advantage of your interest in him. You wonder whether he wants something like a fling, just to blow off some steam, but that’s not what you signed up for.
You may think he’s too great a guy to just run away from him. He’s considerate when you’re together, he’s extremely attractive, and it’s not every day that you meet a man with such ambition.
You want him. You’ve caught feelings and now you’re just interested to know the signs he’s too busy for a relationship.
Is it true? Or will you get your heart broken again?
1. He’s not consistent
One of the most important things in a relationship is consistency. If you’re in a relationship with a guy who plays a game of hot and cold, you’ll soon start to feel awful in his presence.
It feels like manipulation. One day he’s all over you and the next, you can’t get him to reply to your text messages.
That’s why this is one of the signs he’s too busy for a relationship. He replies to your texts when he has the time for it but that makes him seem extremely inconsistent.
He calls you and you end up talking for hours, just to not get a word from him for days after that.
It’s exhausting. You don’t know whether you’re in a relationship with this man or if you’re just a girl he occasionally has time for.
Of course, you forget about this issue when you’re out with him. He gives you his undivided attention sometimes and that’s what baffles you.
You’re also confused about the times you do go out and he spends them on his phone replying to emails. Is this man for real?
2. He tells you that you come off too strong
A guy who’s showing signs he’s too busy for a relationship won’t understand how you can be this interested in him. He’ll be confused as to how you can spend so much time on him and why you’re always available to hang out with him.
This man actually makes you feel guilty for being there for him. He doesn’t understand how someone else could have time for him, simply because he doesn’t have time for others.
He has so many things to do throughout the day that he’s too busy to do anything else and that includes social interactions in general.
When you’re into someone, you like to show them that. That’s the healthy way to go about it.
You don’t want to play games or pretend like you’re not interested. Games are for little kids and you’re a grown adult.
I believe that we should always be honest and show people how important they are to us. He obviously doesn’t think the same or he simply doesn’t have enough time to think about this in general.
This man is too preoccupied with his work and his schedule is filled to the brim. Now he thinks that you’re coming off too strong, when in reality he doesn’t even see most of the effort you put into this relationship.
3. He says he doesn’t understand how you have so much time for texting
Besides the fact that he believes that you’re coming off too strong, he also doesn’t understand how you can always be texting him. Even if you have work to do, you still have time to check your phone to reply to him.
If you have time to scroll through your phone, why wouldn’t you take a few seconds to reply to him?
Most men believe that to be a waste of time. They just decide to reply to you later when they have more than enough time to do so, even though it just takes a moment.
If you confront him about this issue, he’ll likely make sure to make you feel bad about it. He’ll say that you’re just too available and that you never have anything better to do.
Of course, this’ll hurt your feelings because you make a conscious effort to be as productive as possible without your relationship being affected. He simply doesn’t seem to understand that.
Maybe women are just better at multitasking?
4. He makes plans but ends up canceling them
One of the signs he’s too busy for a relationship is when he makes plans with you even though he ends up canceling them.
He always makes sure to plan a date, make a reservation, and buy tickets for the movies in advance. However, he either cancels last minute or he tells you to take a friend instead of going with him.
He says that he’s too busy and that he has work to do that can’t be postponed.
When this happens the first time, even if it makes you sad or angry, you don’t bother to bring it up. I mean, we all have the right to change our mind and no one is obligated to go out with us, no matter how much we would love it.
But when that happens one too many times, you can’t really seem to ignore it anymore. Why does he even try if he knows that he’ll only break his promise?
That just seems cruel.
5. He makes sure to spend time with you when he’s free, even though it’s rare
This is another important sign he’s just too busy for a relationship. If he didn’t find the time to go out with you, then you’d think that would only mean he’s not that into you, but this guy does make time sometimes.
If he always makes excuses as to why he can’t go out with you, he’s just not interested enough. A guy who likes you will find a way to go out with you no matter how busy he is.
I guess you have that with him (and if you don’t, then you should’ve walked away a long time ago). We mentioned the fact that he may cancel plans but there’s also a huge possibility that he may not even make any in the first place.
Even though you may believe that he’s too busy for you, he still manages to spoil you every once in a while. So if he makes sure to see you even for an hour, it’s a great sign that he wants to make it work.
6. He explains what’s going on in his life
This is an important sign that you need to consider. Sometimes, you really are seeing signs he’s too busy for a relationship even though he’s interested in you.
If you only see the bad side of him, then he’s not even trying. That’s when he’s doing nothing but playing with you.
But a guy who’s genuinely into you, even though he’s extremely busy, will make an effort to explain himself. He’ll always keep you updated on what’s going on in his life.
He’ll tell you when he has a major project coming up and even if he has to go on a business trip. Sometimes, he may be too busy for you because of family stuff but he makes sure to fill you in on the whole story.
This means that he wants to include you in his life, even though it’s hectic. He wants to make sure that you understand that it’s not his lack of interest that makes him so absent but the fact that he’s truly living a life that doesn’t let him spend more time with you.
It’s sad when you see someone who’s genuinely into you but can’t seem to find the time to be with you. It’ll take a toll on him too when it’s clear he wants to be with you.
7. He never ghosts you but he takes forever to reply
When you get a notification from him, you have to scroll through the messages to remind yourself what you sent him last. It takes him so long to reply that you forget what you were even talking about in the first place.
Because of the fact that he makes you feel guilty for always texting him, you wait for his response instead of sending him multiple text messages that may make him angry. But he takes forever to reply to you.
This is one of the signs that he’s too busy for a relationship. You can see that he wants to talk to you but he doesn’t always have time to look at his phone, especially if you text him about something that happened to you that day, as he has to take the time to read through it thoroughly.
If he just sends you a smiley or a funny GIF in reply, you may only get agitated even more, so instead, he waits until he has the time to reply properly.
The good thing is that he doesn’t just ghost you to the point where you think that you’ve done something wrong. Whenever he can, he replies to you.
8. He’s devoted his life to his job
This man’s a hardworking machine. He was always a great student, someone who wanted to make their future as amazing as possible.
He’s someone who doesn’t understand how people can be lazy and sit around all day. He wants the best out of life and he makes sure to get it!
There are many reasons why someone would make their life revolve around their job. However, it always leads back to the fact that people find happiness in what they do or they find meaning in it.
When you find meaning in the work you do, you don’t bother to have anything else in your life. So many of those things could steer you away from the goals that you’ve set.
So, he doesn’t really spend too much time on his relationships. People are social creatures but some of us find more pleasure in the work that we do.
That’s why this is one of the signs he’s too busy for a relationship. It’s not because he doesn’t want you but because he’s devoted his life to the job that he does.
9. He told you that himself
Maybe you don’t even have to think too much about whether or not you’re seeing the signs he’s too busy for a relationship. It could be as simple as just listening to him.
If he told you that he’s too busy to be with you, then you should believe him. Don’t make excuses for him and don’t pretend like you can fix this situation.
It’s completely up to him! So listen to what he says and trust his judgment.
So often, we don’t believe people when they tell us things about themselves. If they say that they’re bad for us, we just believe that it’s their insecurities talking.
But we could prevent so much heartache just by listening to the words coming out of their mouth.
He’s too busy for a relationship: What do I do?
There’s a limited number of things that you can do when you see the clear signs he’s too busy for a relationship. At the end of the day, it’s his decision as to what he’s going to make a priority for himself.
If that’s you, then congratulations. If it’s his job or something else, you can either stay and settle for his lack of presence in your life or you can try to make the best out of it.
Is there anything else you can do? Well, maybe there is.
1. Make plans in advance
Do you know his schedule? If you do, you may want to make plans instead of waiting for him to make them for you.
I know that women often aren’t the ones to take the initiative but you may want to try this out.
He’s probably too busy with everything to even think about making plans with you. You’ll have to create dates that’ll be easy to execute but also that won’t take too much time out of his schedule.
I can guarantee you that he’ll be grateful that you took the lead in this. He’ll show up and he won’t have to think too much about everything that’s happening.
He’ll just be able to enjoy himself.
2. Create clear boundaries
It doesn’t matter how much you understand him or how much you actually like him. If your needs aren’t being met, you will never be happy in that relationship.
You’ll only settle for a relationship in which you’ll constantly have to make excuses for him. So, if you want to be with him, you have to create clear boundaries.
How often do you want to go out on dates with him? Considering his busy schedule and your need for quality time, you could find a reasonable day and time for a weekly date.
Your boundaries can also include things such as if he decides to cancel on you, he has to schedule and plan another date. This will help him understand how important this is to you, as well as make sure that you get to spend time with him.
If he feels like he can’t do that for you, then he simply isn’t the man for you. Your boundaries are there to make things easier for you both.
You shouldn’t have to compromise all of your needs just to be with a man. Otherwise, there’s probably someone out there who’s much more suitable for you than he is.
3. Be able to talk about it
When you see the signs he’s too busy for a relationship, you should be able to talk about it. Confront him straight up and demand that he talk to you about everything!
The very moment you start staying silent is when you’ll start to experience a whole lot of resentment toward him. You don’t need that.
What you do need is open communication and the willingness to work on this issue. When you talk openly about your emotions, you’ll both know what to do to make the other one feel better at various points of your relationship.
Making your partner feel loved and creating security with words of affirmation is a must. You can’t just expect your needs to change overnight.
You shouldn’t even want them to change for someone else. Rather than that, make sure that your needs are being met and you can only do that by communicating and having open conversations.
He can’t read your mind, so talk about it!
4. Keep an eye on the dynamic
When you keep an eye on the dynamic, you’re actually able to make sure that you’re not the only one putting effort into your relationship.
Of course, you’re seeing the signs that he’s too busy for a relationship. You see that he’s all over the place and that he’s not the most reliable human being you’ve ever met.
For that exact reason, you have to be aware of how much effort you’re putting into everything. You don’t want to be the only person breaking a sweat to make things work.
He has to show you that he’s capable of being consistent in your life and trying hard. You can’t just keep pulling the strings until the moment you snap.
5. Always remember that if he wanted to, he would
Let’s be honest. No one is too busy to be in a relationship.
There are people in this world who run gigantic companies and still make sure to show their significant other all their love and support. Even Barack Obama had time for a happy marriage with his wife, even though he was the president of the United States!
So don’t tell me that he doesn’t have enough time for you. No one is too preoccupied if they truly want to be around you.
That’s why you should always remember that if he wanted to, he would. It’s that simple.
You can make excuses for him and you can pretend like you can ignore your needs for years. But how long are you ready to suffer like that?
You deserve someone who’ll give you the world because you’re ready to give them the world too. Even though the signs he’s too busy for a relationship are there, you have to be aware of this.
At the end of the day, if he’s busy, then you’re not obligated to stay around and wait for a free moment in his schedule. You have your own life to live!
Don’t waste it trying to accommodate him.
