Getting over a breakup can be a tough time for some people. For others, it can be one of the best things that have ever happened to them.
If you fall into the latter group of people, it’s possible you went through some type of abuse. It may be hard to come to terms with that fact and deal with the consequences.
Also, it takes a lot of courage to face the person you’ve become after the breakup. What’s even harder is dealing with the blame and self-doubt in the aftermath.
Your ex-partner has perhaps done you great damage, physically or mentally. Maybe even both. You feel angry because you didn’t know how to stick up for yourself back then.
You might think that now is a good time to take revenge on them as you’ve grown stronger. Perhaps you’ve healed, but if you’re keen on taking revenge on a narcissist, I suggest you reconsider it.
This person has hurt you badly and there’s a risk of ending up in a similar situation once again. Maybe you don’t want to hear this, but it’s like having stage fright.
You muster up the courage to confront them but once you do, you freeze like a deer in headlights. This is a rather common occurrence, and it can only enrage you and flatter your ex-partner.
The most important thing you should ask yourself is whether you should even take revenge on a narcissist? The urge to move on might push you toward that decision but you should stop and think about it.
Millions of questions are flooding your mind and you may feel overwhelmed.
Is he really worth it? Would it be better if you just let go? What will you get out of it? Are you ready to confront him again?
Is it smart to take revenge on a narcissist?
This probably isn’t the wisest choice you can make. People who suffer from narcissistic abuse may express their wish to get back at their abuser, but is it really worth it?
Perhaps what I’m saying makes you think I’m out of my mind. You may feel confused, angry, or even helpless. No one seems to give you adequate advice and you feel like you’re not getting enough support.
This isn’t true. Your ex-partner is in the past and you should leave him there. He was no good for you and you risk getting hurt again by being close to him once more.
From my past experience with narcissists, it’s best if you distance yourself. They’re like leeches that will latch onto you and suck the life out of you if you get close enough. And you won’t even notice.
It happened to you once, so what makes you think it won’t happen again? We tend to underestimate their manipulative ways and powerful choice of words to lure us into their web of lies.
You can be blinded by revenge, but remember that it isn’t the only choice you have. You’re free now and you don’t have to fight back anymore.
How can you take revenge on a narcissist?
If you’re really keen on realizing your plan and you don’t intend on giving up, then I might as well help you out.
Before taking the first steps, you have to sit down and deal with yourself first. Make sure you come to terms with yourself and how you want this plan to be carried out.
Don’t rejoice yet because this doesn’t have to mean it’ll have a happy ending. You may feel bad for yourself for doing such things even if you succeed.
The aftermath of a decision is always inevitable and sometimes things can take a different turn. Therefore, it’s crucial you consider all of the circumstances and the state you’re in.
The road to recovery is a long one, and revenge doesn’t need to be a part of it. Still, if you wish to proceed with your plan, know that revenge is best served cold.
You have the chance of succeeding only if you go in with a cool head. If not, then you’re practically guaranteed to fail. Moreover, you could fall for his trap once again because you’re in a vulnerable state.
However, there are some possible ways you can manage this. If you’ve got your mind made up that you want to take revenge on a narcissist, the following steps may just help you.
1. Apply the no-contact rule
There’s no worse punishment for a narcissist than being devoid of their narcissist supply. There’s no one to abuse and take advantage of.
Your ex thought of you as someone who he can make fun of and grab a hold of at any time he likes. Show him that he’s wrong and make sure you have no contact with him.
Delete his number and remove him from your social media. If you have mutual friends, explain the situation to them and ask for understanding.
The stages of the no-contact rule might be confusing even if your ex was a narcissist. However, they’re almost guaranteed to help you break from the enchanted circle of love and abuse he’s been putting you through.
This is perhaps one of the safest ways you can take revenge on a narcissist. You’re not in direct contact with him, so you don’t need to fear falling victim once again.
On the other hand, you succeed in hurting him because you’re completely unavailable to him. This shows him that you’re no more under his influence and you finally broke free from his chains.
This will be a hard blow to his ego, something that narcissists really fear. His inflated sense of self won’t know how to deal with these facts because he’s never been met with this type of resistance.
Ignorance will sting him at his core and it’ll make his world crumble. Once he realizes he can’t win you back, he’ll probably leave you alone.
This will likely result in him backing off. In that way, you’re distancing yourself from him and, at the same time, you’re taking revenge on that narcissist.
2. Focus more on yourself
Perhaps this move is as good as the no-contact rule. When a narcissist sees that he’s no more the center of your attention, he’s going to lose it. Not only will you manage to improve in various fields of life, but you’ll also serve him cold revenge.
It’s never easy getting out of an abusive relationship and it always leaves consequences behind. You may find it hard to move on from this point, but your wish for revenge is stronger.
Why not take matters into your own hands and do something beneficial for yourself while you’re still getting that revenge? Focus on yourself and do some things that you didn’t get a chance to do.
Narcissists are manipulative people that have no problem with talking you out of things. Perhaps he made you distance yourself from your family and friends. Well, now is a good time to reconnect with them.
This might anger him, but it will also show him that you’re capable of standing up for yourself. He’ll see how determined you are to get back on your feet and he’s likely to leave such a confident woman alone.
3. Move on
This is one of those things that are easier said than done. No one really likes being told to just move on and forget about everything.
The thing is if you get stuck in that same mental state you were in when you were trapped by that narcissist, you’re likely to feel the consequences.
Dealing with a narcissist can be hell, but getting out of that victim mindset can be a tough task as well. You have to come face to face with the aftermath of the toxic relationship in order to move on.
You might feel all sorts of confused, angry, or sad, and that’s okay. It’s normal to go through different stages after splitting up with your partner.
If you feel like you need someone to talk to or someone to offer you support, don’t be afraid to ask for it. When that narcissist sees you’re finally able to move on, he will feel like a failure.
It’s a serious blow to his ego and self-esteem. You managed to get rid of one of the malefic manipulators and move on. Is there better revenge you could take on a narcissist?