“He wasn’t the one,” is such a simple sentence but it can make you feel a thousand painful emotions.
You read it and your stomach immediately twists.
Your mind goes back to all of the negative things you had to go through after your breakup.
Tears, sadness, and pain, all mixed together.
There was no light at the end of your tunnel. Only darkness crept in and you couldn’t run away from it.
The process of letting go is one of the hardest things you have to go through after a breakup.
You imagine your whole future with this person; you truly believe that he is the one and then everything falls apart.
Constant calls turn into silence, support turns into ignoring, and love turns into hate.
How do you admit that he wasn’t the one and that now, you have to let go of all of the memories, wishes, and plans?
How do you accept the reality of the situation when it seems impossible?
Well, first of all, you have to realize that this won’t happen overnight.
Letting go always happens in stages. It takes time to heal and to make yourself realize that you have to move on with your life.
You will go through a lot of pain and suffering, but once you arrive at your final destination of happiness, you will be glad for every experience you went through.
But what does letting go look like? What are you supposed to go through in order to heal?
Firstly, you will deny everything that is happening to you.
You won’t see reality the way it is. Instead, you will sugarcoat it, hoping that things will go back to the way they used to be.
It will be impossible for you to admit that your relationship is over.
You won’t be able to say, “He wasn’t the one for me.” It will hurt too much.
Instead, you will make excuses and say that the two of you have taken a break.
You will try to convince the people around you that what the two of you had isn’t over. You have just pressed the pause button.
But actually, at this stage, the only person you’re trying to convince is you.
You are the one who needs time to accept the truth. Other people have nothing to do with it.
So, you’ll try to present it to yourself not as a breakup but as a temporary solution to improve the relationship.
Still, no matter how hard you try, deep down, you will know the truth.
After the stage of denial, you’ll be angry.
Out all of the people in the world, why do you, in particular, have to suffer? Why did God choose you to go through the pain?
You will hate seeing smiling faces because you will have forgotten what your face is supposed to look like with a smile on it.
You go to bed angry and you wake up angry. It seems like you will never be able to find true happiness again as you don’t know how it feels anymore.
The only thing you feel is anger that you must go through something that was never a part of your plan.
Then, a glimpse of hope will appear in your heart. What if he left you just to sort things out in his life?
Maybe he will come back.
What if he changes his decision and calls you in the middle of the night?
You would give him a chance and he deserves it, right?
What if you forgive him for hurting you? Things could work out.
You love each other and maybe he actually is the one for you.
What if, what if, what if?
At this stage, you can easily trip up and call him but the most important thing is to realize that nothing will change if the two of you get back together.
Things might look fine at the beginning but eventually, everything will go back to the way it was.
You will start to fight again, avoid each other, or one of you will cheat.
You will do everything you already did the first time.
When you realize that, you will get to the next stage – depression. You will be aware of the situation and you won’t like how it feels.
You will feel the pain and you will want things to end. To stop the suffering and move on.
However, it won’t happen until you realize that the reality is that you need to let go and admit that your Prince Charming was not real.
He was just pretending that he was the one for you and there is nothing you could do about that.
You will feel that the sadness is overtaking your body but you need to fight it and win the battle. There is no other way to escape the pain!
Finally, you will be able to accept reality.
The two of you broke up; he wasn’t the one for you and you will move on.
It may be the hardest thing to achieve but it is the only way you will feel at peace.
A lot of people will come into your life but you need to understand when it is the right time to let them go.
You have to go through all of these stages if you want to successfully let go of someone who wasn’t for you.
It won’t be easy but it will be worth the struggle.
You will realize how amazing it feels when you close one chapter of your life and open up to new opportunities.
You will be walking away from the gray and dark surroundings and letting the light shine through the windows of your soul.
Each and every time you are in a similar situation where you need to let go but it feels impossible, remember that it is all part of the plan of becoming the best version of yourself and finding your true happiness.
These are only obstacles that you need to get over if you want to get yourself to a position where you will be happy.
You need to let go of some people in order to achieve that.
You need to realize that when you find the one, this chase and struggle will be over and you will finally realize why all those before needed to be left in the past.