He disappeared from your life, and now, he texted you again. How to respond to a guy that ghosted you and what can you do when you get his message?
What if you just want to check whether he’s alive and find out what happened? This is not unusual, and everyone who’s ever been ghosted has felt this way at some point.
The first thing you need to remember is that you don’t owe him anything. On the other hand, if this is a guy you’re still into, you might want to see where it goes.
He seems cute to you, but is he really boyfriend material? When someone ghosts you, you need to think twice before getting in touch again.
People make mistakes, so this guy might deserve a second chance, but only you can decide that. If he doesn’t care about you enough, he might ghost you again.
So, how to respond to a guy that ghosted you? The choice is yours and I’ll give you plenty of possible responses so you can find which one you like best.
Before that, you need to carefully read his message again. What exactly did he text and how does it sound?
He might have texted just because he’s bored or wants something from you. Don’t read into it too much and go back to imagining your life together.
If he texted something simple such as, “Hi,” it’s best to wait for him to make more effort into reaching out again.
He needs to earn your trust again and you have to take your time with figuring out the right response.
Consider your feelings too. Are you really that into him and how upset were you when he ghosted you?
It might not be a big deal if you weren’t even that interested in him in the first place. Also, if you’re not bothered about spending time with him, you may not be upset if he disappears again.
The nature of your relationship is very important, as well as your feelings for him.
If this is someone you want to be in a serious relationship with, you’ll need him to tell you the reason he ghosted you. Unless he has changed in the meantime, he’ll probably do it again.
Are you okay with that? If not, he needs to understand how much he hurt you when he ghosted you.
The two of you need to communicate better if you’re going to get back together after him ghosting you. If he considers ghosting normal, he might not be the type of man you’re looking for.
On the other hand, if there was some kind of miscommunication, you may want to try trusting him again.
How will you react if he does it again, though? Is being in a relationship with him worth all that pain?
In a relationship, it’s very important to clearly communicate a problem, not just run from it. If he bailed on you once, he might do it again, so how can you trust him now?
Maybe he never thought about it that way, but maybe he’s just stringing you along. Be very careful if you give him a second chance.
You need to set low expectations so as to not get your hopes up for nothing.
Maybe he just wants to hang out sometimes, when he feels like it. It’s better to end things if this is not what you signed up for.
You don’t have to end everything. Try dating for a while but don’t be exclusive.
This means that you can date other guys and if he doesn’t want that, he’ll have to commit or bail. He probably isn’t interested in a serious relationship if he’s okay with it anyway.
You’re considering staying in touch with a person who clearly didn’t want to keep in touch. They were ready to leave you hanging, which shows a lack of care.
If you’re only dating and it hasn’t been long, expecting constant contact seems needy. But if you’re in a serious relationship and he just disappeared on you for a long time, it’s very wrong.
If your love interest just paused communication for a few days, you can cut him some slack. But if he ghosted you after committing to you, it’s your choice how to deal with it.
Here’s how to respond to a guy that ghosted you:
1. Don’t respond
If you’ve read everything so far, you probably understand why this might be the best idea.
This guy didn’t make it clear that he wasn’t interested in dating you anymore and he ghosted you instead.
You might want to consider letting him know how it feels. If he’s not even interested enough to reply to your messages, just walk away.
2. “If you lost interest in me, I wish you would’ve just been honest about it instead of ghosting me. No hard feelings though because I’m past that.”
How to respond to a guy that ghosted you? Nothing’s stopping you from being honest with him.
This will show him that you expected honesty from him, instead of this childish behavior.
In addition, it clearly points out that you’ve moved on and don’t even care anymore.
3. “I’ve been enjoying getting to know you, but I lose interest when there’s no contact. I’m not into something so on and off.”
What’s going to happen now that he’s reappeared again? As I said, it’s completely up to you, so you can set your own terms.
You can always clearly state that you’re not interested in such a casual relationship.
Show the type of relationship you want by explaining that regular contact indicates interest.
If he’s not that into you, he could’ve said something instead of ghosting you.
4. “Hey there, I’m surprised to hear from you. I was pretty sure you ghosted me.”
Sometimes, a direct approach is the best choice when someone ghosts you.
You can play it cool and wait for his explanation. He might even apologize and give you a valid reason for his behavior.
If he’s not interested in doing that, he’s not that interested in you to begin with.
He might just be a player and if you don’t want that kind of man, just let him go.
5. “Since I haven’t heard from you, I’m assuming we’re both on the same page when I say that I don’t see this going anywhere. Good luck on your dating journey.”
If you’ve just been seeing this guy for a short while and want to end it, this is a great choice.
You can end things by simply wishing him the best and making it clear that he’s not getting another chance.
If he’s scared of losing you, he’ll try to win you back. You showed emotional maturity and if he doesn’t want to be with you, he doesn’t have to.
6. “I totally get it if you’re not feeling a connection, but I’d appreciate you being direct about it. I can’t read your mind and I’m not going to try.”
How to respond to a guy that ghosted you if you’re considering giving him a second chance? Ask him to be direct instead of ghosting you.
If he’s not willing to explain himself and show his intentions, he’s not the man for you.
Let him know that you don’t know what he’s thinking and he left you guessing.
Even if he doesn’t want to be with you, he should be man enough to let you know.
7. “It seems like your phone’s been dead for two and a half weeks. Let me know if you need to borrow my charger.”
This is a sarcastic text that’s a little bitter and sends a good and clear message.
He had enough time to let you know if something had happened. Instead, he just ghosted you and you know you at least deserve an explanation.
You’re leaving the door open in case he’s interested in coming back but you’re also showing that you’re ready to slam it in his face if he does.
8. “Hey there, long time no see! How’s it going?”
If you weren’t that into him in the first place, sending a message like this is a great choice.
You’re letting him know that you sensed his absence, but don’t care enough to be bothered by it.
This is such a cool way to respond to the first text he sends you because it’ll confuse him.
He’s probably expecting you to freak out but he’ll realize you don’t care enough to do that.
It even leaves the door open for you if you’re okay with acting like nothing happened.
9. “I hoped that you and I could build something together, but clearly, we’re not a good match for each other. Thanks for nothing.”
Who says you can’t show your anger if you’re feeling mad and betrayed?
You got your hopes up for nothing, and you have every right to express your annoyance.
If he wants to get another chance with you, he’ll have to earn your trust again. What do you need him for if he’s not willing to do that?
10. “I’m hurt and confused by you going silent on me. Clearly, we’re not looking for the same thing. Best of luck to you.”
If this is not the right man for you, feel free to speak from your heart.
Were you confused and upset when he ghosted you? Well, tell him that.
If he was looking for something casual and you want a committed relationship, you’re not on the same page anyway. Let him go and don’t hold anything in.
11. “Maybe I gave you the impression that I’m OK with not talking for weeks. I’m so sorry for the confusion, but I’m not at all OK with that, and I don’t see this working out.”
How to respond to a guy that ghosted you? Well, is he scared of losing you?
If he truly cares about you, he won’t let it end with this message.
On the other hand, if he ghosted you because he’s not interested, you have nothing to lose.
If he wants to make it work, he’ll have to put some effort into your relationship.
12. “Hi, sorry, whose number is this?”
Want to really make him pay for what he did to you if he texts you out of the blue? Who says that you kept his number for this long?
If you’re a bold type of person, this is a great way of letting him know that you’re not going to tolerate bad behavior.
If you’re not interested in playing games and you want real commitment, feel free to act sassy and make him think twice before toying with you.
13. “Thankfuly, I don’t date guys who ghost women. Also, I hope no one else will have to go through this with you. Goodbye. Forever.”
Did you really like him but he broke your heart when he ghosted you?
Let him know how wrong it truly is to ghost someone who likes you. You really wouldn’t wish that on anyone, so tell him that.
If he’s just a player, maybe he’ll at least think about twice it before playing with the heart of a woman who cares about him.
14. “Should I wait to hear your excuse for why you’ve been MIA or should I just delete your number?”
How to respond to a guy that ghosted you when you want him to respond? Send him this message.
It clearly shows that you’re not going to tolerate ghosting.
In addition, it makes him see that he’ll get a chance to explain himself but it won’t mean that you’ll just forget what he did.
This is one of the best messages to send when someone ghosts you.
15. “Hey, I hope you’re doing well. I haven’t heard from you in a while so I’m assuming that you’re not interested anymore. It would be better if you’d said something about it instead of leaving me hanging.”
Yes, you can send a vulnerable and honest message, but not to just anyone.
If you were dating for while and he disappeared into thin air, you probably feel hurt and confused.
You can make it clear that you thought the two of you had some potential.
Give him a chance to talk about future expectations, but don’t blindly believe everything he says.
16. “People change their feelings all the time, but you could have been an adult about it. Do me a favor and delete my number. I don’t have time to fool around.”
If you feel like he toyed with your heart, let him know that you’re not going to play his game.
Maybe you were even already in a relationship and you’re wondering how to survive ghosting after a serious relationship…
It won’t be easy but the big question is whether it’s even worth saving.
If he’s not ready to apologize and explain his behavior, you might need to let him go.
17. “Gosh! You’re bombarding me with all these texts! I’m not used to getting so much attention!”
Call it reverse psychology or sarcasm but this approach is sometimes the best one.
It shows you have a good sense of humor but you’re not going to waste it on those who don’t deserve you.
In addition, it sounds like you’re not really that hurt, just disappointed.
Will he be able to disappoint you again or will he get the message?
That’s up to him and that’s how you can decide whether to consider letting him back into your life.
18. “I guess we’re playing ‘Who Can Go Longer Without Texting First’. You won!”
Depending on whether you want him back or not, you can add, “But you’ve lost me,” to this message.
If all this was some kind of ‘who’ll text first’ game to him, do you really want him?
His behavior is very childish and you don’t want to waste your time on boys… you need a man, not a child.
Dating sometimes requires playing games, but ghosting is not one of them. It’s a bad way to disappear from someone’s life and that’s all.
19. “Since you don’t have the decency to let me know you’re no longer interested, I’ll help you out by blocking you.”
Sometimes, guys who ghost you just don’t want to face your reaction to breaking up.
How to respond to a guy that ghosted you if he just wanted to avoid your tears? Show him that you’re not going to cry over him.
Instead, you’ll be more than happy to hold the door for him and slam it behind him.
Take back the power and don’t wallow in grief. You don’t need him and this message will make that perfectly clear.
20. “I see you’re ‘playing it cool’. It’s too bad I’m not 15 anymore, and I don’t think emotional unavailability is cool.”
He wants to play cool? Well, you can play ice cold.
Let him know that you’re not impressed by childish games. If he’s an emotionally unavailable man, you’re not going to wait for him to grow up.
He’ll have to man up if he wants to keep you around. When a guy disappears and then comes back, it’s not the kind of magic trick you want in your life.
He has some explaining to do if you even decide to give him a chance to explain himself.
21. “I wish I could say I was surprised, but honestly, I’m not. I can spot a player from a mile away.”
Maybe you already knew that he was a player and his behavior didn’t surprise you. If so, you can tell him that.
You don’t have room in your life for a man who has bad intentions. You’re happy that he didn’t string you along and don’t want him back in your life.
22. “You’ve won one last chance to meet up for a drink! Reply with your availability this week to claim your prize.”
Let’s not forget that he might have a reasonable explanation for ghosting you.
Something might have happened that’s completely unrelated to you and your relationship.
You know him by now so you can tell whether that’s a possibility. If so, you might want to give him another chance.
Doing it with a message like this one makes you look cool, relaxed, and witty.
When a guy says he needs time to think and disappears, sometimes he really does need just that.
23. “It’s been three weeks since I heard from you, so I want to end things formally. Goodbye.”
If you don’t hear from a guy you’ve been dating for a few weeks, you’re not dating him anymore… he just didn’t have the guts to tell you that.
You can end things instead of him, by sending him a message like this. It’ll give you the closure you need and make him see how badly he treated you.
You’ll move on but he will be the one haunted by your words, even though he was the one who ghosted you.
24. “I know you’re not a bad person, but the polite thing to do would have been to tell me you’re no longer interested. But I get the point.”
When you don’t know what to say, say the truth. The truth is that he should have told you if he wasn’t interested.
Instead, he made you get the point by ghosting you. He could have told you if he wanted to end things, and he should know that.
You don’t feel bitter, you just feel disappointed.
25. “Who knew that a few great dates would end like this? Maybe man up next time and let her know you aren’t feeling it.”
If you’ve only been on a few dates, you don’t want to freak out about it.
He shouldn’t have ghosted you, but he did, and the right man won’t ever do that.
This guy just helped you not waste any more time on the wrong person.