We are often so quick to judge others without ever giving them the benefit of the doubt… but the truth is, you never know what someone is going through.
This is something we’ve all heard of, but so many people don’t take it seriously enough.
We know that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but we still often do.
It doesn’t make us bad people, and we’re only human after all, but it’s a big mistake.
Our culture is busy and fast-paced, so we don’t take a second to truly understand others.
Then we experience immediate judgments in our own skin.
Suddenly, we understand how great it would be if people realized that they don’t know what we’re going through.
Everyone sees the way you act and the way you look, but they don’t know what’s inside your mind or your heart.
They hear the words you say, but don’t really listen, and this is because most people don’t discover the depths of true pain and the way it makes you see life.
Until one day, they do.
They see that things can still go wrong, no matter how hard you try.
The terrible weight of suffering they suddenly experience makes them remember something.
They remember being vaguely aware of someone else’s suffering that they did nothing about.
It’s not that they didn’t want to, it’s just that life is busy and we focus too much on our own problems.
We forget something very important which could be the best lesson we could learn…
You never know what someone is going through and you aren’t aware of how much you can affect their life.
Truly realizing this could make even a small difference in the world. We need to stop for a second and really learn to listen and truly see each other.
Even the smallest kind gesture from a stranger could mean the world to someone who’s hurting. Sometimes, it can change their life or even save it.
Maybe they just needed someone to notice their pain and ask whether they’re okay instead of walking away.
We need to care about other human beings at least enough to be kind to them.
There are so many things we know nothing about regarding someone’s life. Instead of realizing that, we assume things about them based on just a few things that we do know about them.
We spend a few minutes, hours, days, or even months with someone, and think we know them.
But that’s not enough to know what they’re going through.
Sometimes even many years of knowing them and spending time with them isn’t enough to really know them.
There might be something that happened or is currently happening to them that you aren’t aware of.
One small fact about them could completely change the way you see them if you knew about it.
Maybe you have a chubby friend who had an eating disorder but finally cured it.
You didn’t know about it and you told her that she would look more attractive if she tried to lose some weight.
Maybe you have a co-worker to whom you constantly point out that they could be better at what they do.
You don’t know that they put their energy into taking care of their child who’s suffering from a serious illness.
You don’t really know things about the people you see almost every day, let alone strangers.
Maybe you received bad service at a restaurant you frequently visit. You think that the distracted, depressed-looking new waitress needs to be fired.
Her doctor might have told her that day that her cancer was back. She still went to work because she needs money for the treatment.
Maybe instead someone close to her just died that day… and you made a scene about the fact that she just spilled a drink.
You thought that a few drops of wine on your favorite dress was the worst thing that could happen and it might have gotten her fired.
The person who died might have been the father of her children who she needs to provide for alone now.
Maybe you got stuck in traffic and thought it was the worst thing in the world because you were running late to work.
The traffic jam might have happened because someone ahead of you had a fatal accident.
We are so focused on our own struggles in life that we assume ours are the only ones that matter.
Do we ever stop to wonder what kind of heavy load someone else is carrying?
Why don’t we think about whether we could help them simply by being kind?
We read so many true stories that people decided to tell because of this, and it opens our eyes.
Still, we soon forget about it and keep being focused only on ourselves and our own problems.
There are even so many movies and songs that point out that you never know what someone is going through.
Some movies that are considered to have incredible twists teach us lessons.
One might make us think that the person who acts weird is the bad guy and another person, a successful family man, seems like the good guy.
Eventually, they reveal that the weird guy has an awful life, and who we thought to be the good guy is actually the cause of it.
We are surprised by that, but why? The moviemakers just relied on our tendency to judge people without knowing the whole story.
Maybe you notice a pregnant teen walking by. You instantly think that she is irresponsible and that her parents didn’t raise her right.
If only there was someone who would stop her from ‘ruining her life’…
You even feel sad about it, and I get that, as even I have thought the same things too.
But what if she was raped? Why don’t we ever think about that?
Maybe she wasn’t, but we don’t think about that. We don’t know anything about her life and we already have a strong opinion about it.
We get annoyed by a loud child who runs around and can’t calm down while we’re trying to enjoy dinner in a restaurant.
The parents of that child are clearly not raising them the way they should, right?
Well, what if the child acts a little differently because they have a mental illness or a developmental disorder?
Every human being you see probably has a difficult life story of their own.
It doesn’t have to be something as difficult as the things I mentioned, but sometimes it is.
Even if it’s just a breakup that made the waitress cause a few stains on your dress, she’s still going through something.
You didn’t call it ‘just a breakup’ when someone you loved broke your heart, right?
You need to keep in mind that you never know what someone is going through or how difficult that feels to them.
We only see ourselves and our needs while there are heartbreaking stories all around us.
Maybe you’ve experienced something terrible that you believed you couldn’t survive.
Did you have someone to help you and make you feel better when that happened?
If you did, I don’t need to tell you how important it was.
If you didn’t, I’m sorry and I wish you had, but you understand even better how much it could mean to someone else.
Sometimes you just need someone to be willing to talk to you, try to understand you, and be kind.
If you didn’t have that someone, it might have caused you to change the way you treat others.
Maybe you don’t want to help anyone because nobody helped you.
People didn’t care to understand what you were going through so you don’t care to do that for others now.
Unfortunately, a lot of people think that way and it’s understandable why… but you need to realize something about it.
That won’t help anyone. It’s not just bad for others but bad for you too.
Instead of bringing kindness into a world that you didn’t find it in, you’re denying it to one more person who could spread it.
In a way, you’re taking revenge on people who did nothing for you.
Find justice by doing the right thing that others didn’t do for you, and that’s by not being like them.
You never know what someone is going through or how much your kindness could help them.
Maybe no one else has shown it to them like no one showed it to you.
You can stop that bad pattern from repeating itself by being the kind person you’d like others to be.
Show kindness, don’t judge anyone, and avoid jumping to conclusions and being selfish.
People who think that they’re better than others are often just having a better year, month, or day…
All of us would like to believe that bad things only happen to bad people but that’s not true.
Things happen, and something bad has happened to everyone at some point.
Don’t we all want to live in a world where people care about each other? If you try to be kind and help someone, it helps make the world a better place.
Helping someone might not change the whole world… but it will significantly change the way that person sees it. It will change their world.
Maybe you’ve had difficulties during your life, but someone else might have had the same ones or they might have had ones even worse than you can imagine.
Most importantly, they might be going through them right now, while you’re annoyed by their behavior.
Maybe you call the police to make a noise complaint. You need to get up early but it sounds like your neighbor is having a wild party.
Perhaps you are then offended by the tone they have while talking to you about keeping the noise down.
You can’t believe how insensitive they are to your problem.
That person may be a mother of three children who is being abused by her drunk husband and he was about to abuse them too.
The noise could be him shouting at her and not a wild party.
You never know what someone’s going through or what’s happening to people around you at any moment.
We often don’t think about it at all. Everyone somehow lives in their own little world.
Every day, we walk into someone’s life for a short while… not thinking about what’s going on in it, but only about how it affects us.
I’m not as kind or as good of a person as I’d like to be, but I try to be.
I made it my goal to become like the kind people whom I admire and working on that is making me feel like a better human being than I was.
Just like anyone else, I make assumptions about a person based on the first impression.
I always give people the benefit of the doubt, though, and I think that’s important.
Even though I don’t always do the right thing, I don’t let myself judge anyone.
Naturally, it happens… but I instantly remind myself that I don’t really know them, let alone their struggle.
I remind myself of people who judged me and the things I could tell them that would make them ashamed of it.
Most importantly, I remind myself of those beautiful souls who showed me kindness.
They showed me understanding even if we were just strangers to each other.
Once I recall how it made me feel, I want to become one of them and make others feel that way too.
It’s easy to lose faith in people, but every one of us has the power to bring back someone else’s faith.
Understanding why it’s important to always be nice to everyone can help you at least try to always be a kind person.
I’m guessing that you already are one or trying to be since you’re reading this.
Maybe you show great kindness and loyalty in friendship, but are you nice to strangers too?
Are you able to truly understand that you never know what someone is going through?
Do you realize how important it is to always keep that in mind? Maybe you do, but you’ve noticed that it’s not that easy.
When you’re going through something, it’s hard to think about what others are going through.
Their struggle could be considered more difficult but yours is very difficult for you.
I understand that and it only makes you human, but you can work on becoming the best, most amazing human being you can be.
You can see others the way you’d like them to see you.
Always being kind hurts no one, costs nothing, and helps everyone. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
Always keep in mind that you never know what someone is going through so don’t jump to conclusions.
In many popular movies, they use the example of a stripper who’s working in a strip club just to pay her way through law school.
The point they’re trying to make is so clear in that example, but people still don’t seem to really get it.
We need to avoid making assumptions based on what’s on the outside.
The things that are obvious and simple to notice often overshadow what truly matters.
It’s something that could make us see them differently and something we would have never guessed.
Try being more approachable and ready to truly listen to people around you.
Show them that it’s safe to open up, that they can trust you, and that you will understand them.
Make sure that you do that and I can guarantee that people will surprise you.
Everyone has their own unique life story and it’s not written on their skin.
Sometimes, it’ll even be enough to show interest in their story and to ask them to tell it you.
Try this and you will see how clueless you actually were about the struggles that person had to go through.
You never know what someone is going through right now… let alone what kind of demons from the past they have to fight every day.
Maybe you’ll create a deep and lasting friendship with someone you wanted to avoid just because you judged them too soon.
People are complicated and nothing in life is as black and white as it seems when we have a narrow-minded point of view.
There’s a rainbow of colors hidden in the big picture.
It’s very important to always at least try seeing things from someone else’s perspective.
Showing compassion for what they’re going through is also important. We should do it even if we don’t consider their problem so difficult.
People go through illness, abuse, the death of a loved one, and other terrifying things and these are all what we all can consider extremely difficult.
What about someone who just had their first relationship and had their heart broken for the first time?
Naturally, it can’t compare to the terrible things I mentioned earlier but that’s not a reason not to take it just as seriously.
To that heartbroken person, it might be the strongest pain they have ever felt and it needs to be seen as important.
If you consider only the extremely difficult things, like the ones I mentioned, to be the ones that require compassion, let me tell you something.
Some people take their own life because of something others would consider a simple breakup.
Doesn’t that tell us how serious something we take lightly could actually be to a person?
You never know what someone is going through, how it will affect them, how difficult it is to them, or what it will make them do.
When someone tells you about their problem, try to see it from their point of view and don’t assume that it’s easy to fix or that they could if they wanted to.
Maybe you had a friend who was in a toxic relationship. She loved the wrong man who treated her badly and it constantly made her miserable.
You listened to her complain and cry a hundred times. As a good friend, you tried to be there for her and simply told her repeatedly to leave him.
Eventually, you concluded that she just didn’t want to help herself.
You decided that she had become a negative and toxic person and walked out of her life forever.
Sure, you could understand that she loved him a lot, but it’s not that hard to break up with someone you love, right?
What if he gaslighted her, made her think that she was worthless and that nobody else would ever want her?
Maybe she started thinking that she didn’t deserve any better, and didn’t know that it could be.
She might have needed a lot of strength to start being herself again and bravery to leave him.
It may have taken her time, but eventually, she found it… but her friends had given up on her, and she has no boyfriend now that she’s left him.
If she doesn’t have a loving, supportive family either, she is now left broken, with no one there for her.
All on her own, she has to suffer the damaging consequences of a toxic relationship, and the pain of breaking up with someone she loved.
In the meantime, she has to pay the bills by herself and she might have a job that requires her to always have a smile on her face.
However, she doesn’t have the strength to smile and no one to tell why.
Someone might be rude to her just because they didn’t see the smile they were expecting to see.
People might simply label her as a negative person. They’ll avoid her because of it, while she never really was a pessimistic person before.
She was just going through something negative.
The point is, you never know what someone is going through, or how important it could be for them to see compassion.
Always try to be kind to others, to understand them, to show them compassion, and help them.
It won’t only make them feel better, but you as well.
Always remember, you never know what someone is going through, so at least try not to judge them.
You may regret doing so once you know the whole story, and often, you only know just a few sentences from a very long novel.
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