Your friends are the people you spend a lot of your free time with. They influence who you are and who you’ll become. Basically, you are who you hang out with.
The decisions you make significantly influence who’ll you be in the future. But it’s who you choose to surround yourself with that makes the most impact.
You can change your mind about things, but those you choose to keep close to you are more important than you think.
These people can either hold you back or push you forward. But if one thing’s for sure, it’s that they’ll change you.
You are who you hang out with because we choose people similar to us. Also, we become more like them the more we spend time with them.
We start liking the same things they like and even start acting like them and mirroring their behavior. Inevitably, they influence our choices and those choices influence our future.
So what “you are who you hang out with” actually means is that your choice of friends says a lot about you are. So it goes without saying that you should try to surround yourself with those who have high standards, and even higher than yours.
As you might know, quality of life depends on the standards a person has. If you set low standards, you can’t possibly have a high-quality life.
In the same way, if you set high standards for yourself, you can expect a high-quality life. And this standard you set for yourself is reflected in the people you surround yourself with.
Maybe you’re friends with people who have been stuck in a rut for a long time. While you’re trying to raise your standards and aim higher, they keep pulling you back to their level of comfortable monotony.
Rest assured that they will pull you down to their level whenever you try to advance. In the end, you either leave them or settle for their standards.
If you instead surround yourself with people who set high standards for themselves, they will push you to keep up with them. They’ll inspire you and motivate you to grow and improve.
Some people envy others too much or simply don’t want to lose them. So, when they see that the person has outgrown them, they try to get back the person they knew and didn’t envy.
As you might already know, changing your surroundings can significantly influence your life and help you change too. What are your surroundings though?
It’s hardly possible that the buildings and trees around you will influence you much. It’s the people who surround you that change you.
If you ever had to switch schools, you know what I’m talking about. Regardless of the potential and the talent you have, if people around you don’t help you, you won’t do much with it.
You need to surround yourself with those who believe in you, support you, and aim for greater things just like you do. If you instead spend your time with those who are willing to settle, you’ll settle for a mediocre life too.
Those who can’t help themselves are surely not going to help you. Instead, you’ll need to help them or settle for being helpless yourself.
If you’re friends with someone you wouldn’t recommend anyone to be friends with, why are you friends with them? We always talk about romantic love and how hard it is to let it go, but the same can be said about friendship.
You shouldn’t stay in a relationship that isn’t good for you, whether it’s a romantic or platonic one. Don’t settle for a person who isn’t right for you, because, just like you need the right partner, you need the right friends.
We often still stick around those that clearly don’t care about us enough, and why? Don’t care for people who wouldn’t call to check up on you if you disappeared off the radar for a while.
They don’t care about you, and you don’t want to be like them. You want to be a person that people like being around.
Be someone others can count on. Become the friend you’d want to have. You are who you hang out with, so pick your friends more wisely.
It’s human nature to adjust to our surroundings and have the need to blend in. But while you blend in, you might disappear and think that you belong among those who are equally invisible.
Put yourself in an environment that requires you to adjust by becoming the best possible version of yourself. Even a simple smile can be contagious, and if you’re around those who are sad all the time, you won’t be happy.
This doesn’t mean that you should abandon those who are dealing with difficulties that naturally make them sad. But avoid those who are constantly negative and refuse to change.
I’m talking about those who are more bitter than sad. They don’t believe that people can change and are incapable of seeing the bright side of life.
All of us occasionally feel that way when faced with difficulties, but those who are constantly negative aren’t the crowd you want to be in. You are who you hang out with, so avoid negativity and toxicity.
If you’re friends with people who haven’t even taken a single step towards a better life in years, you won’t either. When you do, you’ll see that they’re not taking the same road, so you’ll have to head back or leave them behind.
Maybe you’re friends with people you know aren’t the right crowd for you. You’re investing your time and energy into those relationships, but not getting get anything out of them.
You end up wasting a lot of time on those who aren’t going to stick around for the long haul.
By choosing your friends more carefully, you’re investing in long-term relationships that benefit you in many ways. Finding true friends who always have your back and push you to keep going is priceless.
Why would you be friends with someone who gives you nothing in return instead? I’m not saying that you should be friends only with those you can use, but you deserve something back.
That can be personal growth and positive experiences, but most importantly, long-term commitment and support. If you instead spend time with people who talk about you behind your back, they’ll just make you feel bad.
Besides, since most people believe that you are who you hang out with, others will assume you’re pessimistic too, that you gossip and criticize too.
People who know your friends will think that you’re like them. If that makes you worried, you need different friends.
You’re not going to find them if you stick to your old crowd because they want to be friends with people like them.
Maybe your friends aren’t that bad, but the big question is are they holding you back or pushing you toward? Do they care about you, are they there for you, do they show you compassion, and are they honest?
If you want to see how some people see you, just write down the obvious flaws of your friends. Maybe they have some great qualities too, but it’s their flaws that can tell you whether you want a friend like that.
Now that you know their flaws, think about whether you have them too. Even if you don’t, many people will assume that you do.
This doesn’t mean that you should ditch the people you care about just because others don’t see how great they are. Are they great, though, and what kind of an effect do they have on you?
What does your choice of friends say about you? Try to answer this question by looking at your group from someone else’s perspective.
Think of your ideal friends and what they would think of the people you’re hanging out with. Don’t forget that you are who you hang out with, and that’s how they’ll see you.
What if your ideal friends wouldn’t like to be friends with you if they had to meet you now? Think about what you could change about yourself to change that.
Are your current friends also going to change? How will they react to your attempts to improve yourself?
Don’t ever be friends with people who will drag you down when you’re trying to go higher. No one likes bitter people who can’t believe that someone can succeed.
The harsh reality is that, when you want to change, you have to change who you’re friends with too. One day, you’ll wake up not being the person you were before, and those who knew you then won’t see that clearly.
They’ll mention things about you that don’t describe you anymore. And they might even start thinking poorly of you for changing.
If your friends are like this, you need to rethink being friends with them.
We put so much attention into finding the right partner, yet we so often settle when it comes to our choice of friends. It’s enough to be in the same surroundings with them for a while and we think that we’ll be friends forever.
The surroundings change, time passes, you start to change… And your friends stay the same or head in a different direction.
Finding true, life-long friendship is very difficult. And it’s not about having a thousand people who’ll say hi to you when they see you.
It’s about having those very few people in your life who you can call in the middle of the night when you need a shoulder to cry on. They’ll be there during the bad times yet celebrate your accomplishments as well.
Instead of envying you or hoping you stay the same, they’ll keep improving themselves and improve you.
Their positivity will influence you to be more positive as well.
Have you ever been friends with a true go-getter? If you have, you probably noticed that they somehow influence you to chase after your goals too. They do this even if they’re not trying to.
We become like those we spend most of our time with, and you’ve surely noticed that. It’s in our nature to need to belong and fit it, but just because you fit in somewhere doesn’t mean you belong there.
By trying to fit in and doing it successfully, you’ll start to belong though. Do you belong in your group of friends?
Think about what they talk about most often, what interests them, and what they are focused on. What kind of people are they and where are they heading in the future?
Most importantly, ask yourself if you want to become the person you’re friends with. Would you like being them and would other people like you? Where would you end up?
Write down what kind of person you want to be. That’s the person you should be friends with.
If you don’t think that that person would like to hang out with you, you have to start making some changes. Watch how your current friends react to those changes.
Some of them might want to encourage you and follow your path, while others will want the old you back. It’s very likely that those who will miss your old you will try to make you stay that person.
Maybe you like them, but would you like to be like them? If not, they shouldn’t be in your inner circle.
The five people you’re closest with and you spend most of your time with influence you more than you could imagine. So, it’s crucial to handpick these people carefully.
You learn from these people and they learn from you, so what could they teach you? Do you want to be the person who has the same habits as they do?
You want friends who know how to enjoy life yet still work hard on accomplishing their goals. They should have similar core values as you do and think about the future.
Some people are fine with being stuck in the past, or they simply find it too hard to let go of it. Of course, it’s good to try to help them, but you should also realize when they don’t want to help themselves.
If they don’t have goals and plans for the future, they’re likely to stay the same as they are now.
You know that it’s human nature to follow the crowd. If your friends tell you not to do something, you probably won’t do it.
They don’t even have to say it directly, they can simply discourage you or sit idly by as you try to chase your dreams. You need those who’ll encourage you instead, and even pull you with them as they move forward and progress.
Think about whether you’ve changed over the past few years. How many of those changes were influenced by those around you and how often did you try to please them?
You don’t have to be a people-pleaser to care about getting others to like you. We like to say that we don’t care what others think, but that’s a big lie.
Subconsciously, we all care about what others think of us and we want them to like us. That’s why we often change to be more like them and feel accepted.
You need to be accepted by the right crowd though because some won’t accept a new version of you. The right crowd is progressive and embraces changes.
They work on improving their lives, and they’ll make you feel the need to improve yours.
Think about how much the opinions of your friends mean to you. Surely they mean a lot to you and they affect your decisions, even if you’re not aware of it at the time.
Just like romantic relationships need healthy boundaries, so do all the other relationships you develop. You are who you hang out with, but you don’t have to let them entirely change who you are.
Don’t ever let your friends control you and make you change into someone you don’t want to be. You need to be accepted for who you truly are and be encouraged to become the best version of yourself – not a copy of someone else.
They say that you are who you hang out with, but there are still differences between you and your friends. You don’t want to entirely blend in with your crowd and even try to become one of them.
These people should inspire you to discover who you truly want to be as long as it drives you to self-improvement. They won’t ever force you to change though, and you should stay away from those who try.
Loyalty in friendship is very important, but when you’re loyal to those who hurt you, you’re just hurting yourself. You should be loyal to yourself more than to anyone else – and not to the you that you are now, but the you that you want to become.
Friends shape you, but you’re still you and you can always be better. The path to self-growth never ends and there’s always room for improvement.
Changes aren’t easy, though, so you need all the support you can get.
You are who you hang out with, but is it the person you want to be? Is it the person others would like to be friends with?
We all have our own vibe, and it can be pretty contagious. Whether you like it or not, you’ll pick up some habits, behaviors, opinions, and interests of those you hang out with.
You care about them and you want them to care about you, so you embrace what they think is good. But ask yourself: Is it good?
Would the person you want to be consider it good? If you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll be more positive too.
We can clearly see that the people we spend our time with affect us because they can change our mood in a second. If your friend is feeling down, you’ll either manage to cheer them up or they’ll make you feel blue too.
And that’s just one small example of how people you hang out with affect you. You can tell someone “I am always here for you” but if you don’t mean it, you’re not a good friend.
If your friends did something like that to you, it’s probably why you make such promises. Often, people who have been rejected or hurt by those they care about will do the same to others.
Honesty is important in a friendship and if your friends would lie to you without batting an eye, they’re not your friends.
It doesn’t mean that there aren’t others who would never break their promises or betray your trust. But if you stick to the wrong crowd instead, you’ll start thinking that backstabbing and whatnot are normal.
It’s not normal, and you need true friends who’ll defend you, not betray you. You need to be that kind of friend to others as well.
They say that life is short, but it’s actually pretty long. You need the right people beside you on that journey and you need them to stick around.
Picking your friends is just as important as picking your partner. They’re the ones you’ll spend a lot of your time with, so they’ll influence and shape you.
Sometimes, they’ll even drain your energy, but you need to be there for them just like they’re there for you. If they instead constantly drain you and they show no willingness to work on themselves though, you might have to leave them behind.
You are who you hang out with and you want to be the kind of person who lifts others up. Be someone who inspires others, not envies them.
Surround yourself with people like that, and you’ll see how your crowd will carry you. Friends can either carry you forward or leave you stagnating.
Those who drag you back to where you don’t want to be aren’t the people you want in your inner circle. It’s even better to be alone than surrounded by fakers or people who can’t even imagine how amazing you can be.
Choose your friends wisely!
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