When you’re going through a difficult time, the best thing you can get from a loved one is the promise that they’ll be there for you through thick and thin. But more often than not, “I am always here for you” comes with a time limit.
As much as they know you’re a good person, not many people are up for giving up everything else going on in their lives to sit with you through the turmoil until you can make sense of things again.
I love you vs. I’m always here for you
People say “I love you” is powerful but “I am always here for you” surpasses that. It’s a powerful phrase that can soften even the hardest of hearts.
Loving someone is a great feeling. But if you can be there for them at any given time, then there isn’t anything more beautiful than that.
You can love someone and not be there for him/her.
Modern society seems to have forgotten that “I love you” and “I am always here for you” are not the same ideologies.
You can tell someone loves you through their actions and even how they treat you.
It’s not just about being there for someone when things go wrong but also in their joy and triumphs.
Loving someone doesn’t automatically translate to being there for them.
And if you are always there for someone, it does necessarily mean that you love them.
Having someone in your corner all the time is fulfilling. You’ll have a safety net to fall into no matter what happens.
It gives you the courage to go out and face the world, follow your dreams, and dare to dream the impossible.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be a lover. It can be a best friend, sister, or brother.
Granted, when your safety net is your significant other, it does feel nice.
But don’t forget that before they came along, you also had a base camp of other loved ones.
Some of the greatest loves may fail, but the love and bond you have with your family and friends always remain.
Never take such relationships for granted – they can disappear fast when not tended to.
The meaning behind the words
When people say “I am always here for you,” they could mean different things.
Maybe they don’t know how to respond when you’ve just shared a sad story or whatever’s troubling you.
Or maybe you floored them and they have no solid advice to give you. All they can do is sit with you in your sadness while trying to absorb it all.
There’s also the blurted “I’m always here for you” when someone doesn’t have anything else to say in the situation.
The hidden meaning in such a case is “As much as I’m offering to be there for you, I hope you don’t take me up on my word.”
“I’m always here for you” can be straightforward or it can mean something else.
It could also just be part of idle conversation, just like people would say when talking about the brunch they just had.
Their lips are moving but the words coming out are empty. They’re said just to fill the silence until you part ways.
But remember, some won’t vocalize the words but they will mean it when they decide to be there for you.
When I say “I am always here for you,” I actually mean it from the bottom of my heart.
True friends are there for each other – through thick and thin
Friendships take different shapes and forms.
Some are all about the good feelings and the camaraderie, while others are just about hanging out with someone to pass the hours on a lazy Saturday.
And then there is real friendship – the one that comes with fierce love. This is marked by sacrifice, protection, and understanding.
And a loss of that kind of friendship leaves you more heartbroken than a romantic breakup.
Real friendship is about selflessness and over time it only grows stronger.
It’s the kind where you wouldn’t hesitate to jump in front of a moving car to save your friend or even to take a bullet for them.
And that’s why you should believe me when I tell you “I am always here for you” – because that is exactly what I mean.
It isn’t the way a therapist would be there for you or just the let’s-talk-about-our-crappy-boyfriends-over-martinis-there-for-you.
I’m your ride-or-die friend.
I have enough love for you to make room for your pain in my heart.
I’ll be gentle with you and treat your pain like it were my own.
Or rather better than my own because with mine, I sometimes push it to the dark corners of my mind and let it fester until I have no other option but to deal with it.
I’m here for you in all honesty – at times painfully so.
I may not have gone through your pain or experience to fully comprehend what you’re going through, but I do know you’re hurting.
Hurt – now that I can translate pretty well.
I do know how it feels like to be wounded, shut down, or even silenced. To feel like not a single soul in the world understands or cares.
The feeling that no one is making a genuine effort to care.
At times it also feels like talking about it is pointless since it brings no solutions.
But remember, I do care about you too much to let you go through this alone.
Whether you stumble through it without a single clue about what you’re doing, I won’t leave you alone.
I also promise to try my best to understand your pain and be gentle with you until you safely cross to the other side.
I may not be the best advice-giver – some of the suggestions I make might be terrible – but I promise I am and will always here for you.
Heck, I may not even have any advice for you at all.
At times there just isn’t any, but we can go with what sucks the least and hope together that everything turns out well.
I’ll be listening – you don’t have to hold back
You can talk to me about anything that’s on your mind, things you aren’t even courageous enough to say alone – your apprehensions and fears.
They won’t go away just because you’ve shared them, but they won’t seem gigantic once you put them into words.
Expressing them does make them seem a little easier to deal with and that is a win, regardless.
I’ll be here for you when everything seems a little too overwhelming and you’re exhausted from having to put up a fight all the time.
I’ll be here for you when you’ve got no more fight left in you.
When the vast helplessness and bleak truth seem to overwhelm you, the emptiness, the ache, I will give you a tight long hug to remind you someone is standing beside you through it all.
I’ll hold your hair back when you’re sick from the sadness.
Even when it overcomes you and you let out hysterical sobs, I will hold your chattering bones until you stop shaking.
I’ll sit with you in silence and be all-ears when you’re ready to talk. And I promise I’ll be okay with the choice you make.
Even when you can’t find the right words to express what you’re feeling, I’ll still be here.
I’m here for you when you need a shoulder to lean on. When your heart is squeezed dry and left shriveled like weeds.
That moment when you open your mouth but no words come out, I will hold you close.
I hear you even when you have no words to express the white noise in your head.
Let your tears flow, wet my shirt with your tears, and use my hair to dry your eyes.
I won’t complain. I’ll let you have a moment. I can see you’re exhausted and all I care about is making sure you get the rest you need.
Genuine friendship doesn’t come easily. That’s why when I say I am here for you, I mean every word.
I also need you – having you around makes my life lighter
Your presence makes the mess of the world seem bearable. Is this a normal feeling for other people?
There are a lot of people in the world, but everything changes when we find that one person we can trust completely and let our guard down with.
That’s why we tend to stick to them like dust to sweat.
There is no prior training for these feelings that pounce on us. We’re meant to evolve and become independent, balanced individuals.
This makes us forget how it feels to let someone care for us, love us, and share our emotional weight at times.
You’re my person and I’m yours too.
I am always here for you whenever you need me. Don’t think twice about picking up the phone to call me.
No matter what I am doing, I’ll find time for you.
You don’t have to hesitate when asking for my help or even when you’re scared you may say the wrong thing.
At the slightest change of tone, I can tell you need me and I will leave no stone unturned to get to you.
Whether we have to sit in silence or throw stones into the pool, I’ll be there until you start feeling like yourself again.
I won’t say I am always here for you like others who just watch the clock until they make an excuse to leave.
I’ll stay, change plans if I can, to be with you as long as you need me to.
I will cry with you, go with you to buy pizza in the middle of the night when you have cravings.
I’ll take long walks in silence with you as you try to figure out your jumbled up thoughts.
When I say I’m always here for you, it comes with no judgment
I know you’re worried that those who are supposed to have your back are secretly judging you at your lowest.
And I know you can’t take another blow like that.
Regardless of whether I think the decision you’re making is right or wrong, I’ll support you through it all.
I’m not the judge, jury, and executioner of our friendship.
I’ll simply be there for you, even when you change your mind a dozen times in a single day. I will support you through it all.
I believe in you – in your strength and ability to choose what’s best for you.
You know in your heart what you have to do. Sometimes it’s not clear at the start, but over time you gain clarity and I will be patient as you figure it out.
You never have to put up a show with me. Even at your worst, I will still choose to stand by your side.
Whatever you need – understanding, compassion, kindness, love – that’s is exactly what you’ll get.
When you can’t face the world, I will shield you until you are ready to get out there again.
I promise to be there for you any time of the day and night when you need me, and not just when it suits me to return your calls.
You don’t even have to say it loud. I understand asking for help isn’t easy, even for the strongest.
Pick a word, a gesture. Reach out in whichever way you feel comfortable. And I will pause what I had going on to be there for you.
That is what love is all about. That’s the definition of real friendship.