Sometimes, a man pulls away from you with the excuse that you met each other at the wrong time. When that happens, there’s only one question on your mind… Will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship?
When you start dating a new guy and you realize that you like him a lot, the only thing you want from life is to give your relationship a chance. You want this person to be the one who’ll make you forget about all of your previous heartbreaks.
You commit yourself to him and you actually enjoy the time you spend together. But then there comes a twist.
All of a sudden, he tells you that he doesn’t feel ready and he needs to pull away. A guy who could potentially be the one who’ll be waiting for you at the altar is letting you know that he wants to break up with you.
And even though you feel devastated because of what he’s telling you, there’s still a glimpse of hope that maybe he’ll decide to come back to you.
Once he’s had enough time to think about everything, maybe he’ll be knocking on your door. Perhaps he’ll realize that he shouldn’t let you get away.
Right now, you’re dying to find out whether this is possible. Will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship or are you setting your hopes up way too high?
Before I give you an answer to that, you should first know why he decided to walk away in the first place. What could be the real reason behind his departure?
What does it mean when a guy tells you he’s not ready for a relationship?
One day, he was in love with you. The next day, he decided he wasn’t ready for a long-term relationship with you.
This makes you feel confused because you’re not really sure what’s going on. You’re looking for excuses because you don’t want to lose him and you don’t want your story to end this way.
“Maybe he needs time to think about everything. Maybe he felt like this new relationship was moving too fast. Oh, I shouldn’t have told him that I loved him. It was too early for that!”
Instead of getting a good night’s sleep, you keep overthinking all of the different reasons why your new guy decided to end things with you. And believe it or not, there are some general reasons why most men take some time off.
Here’s a list of reasons why he probably chose to walk away from you (for now).
1. He’s dealing with certain issues in his life
When a guy’s going through a lot, what he doesn’t need on his mind is a serious relationship. It seems like too much of a burden at that point in his life.
His love life is probably the last thing he needs to think about. So, instead of staying with you, he decides to pull away and focus on other things that are currently bothering him.
He blames the timing of his life and uses it as an excuse for why the two of you couldn’t make things work. It’s all way too easier than having to take care of your relationship when there are so many other things already on his mind.
Now, you may ask yourself why he hasn’t explained to you what’s going on in his life, as you’d give him a supporting hand and be his shoulder to cry on.
You would understand what he’s going through and you’d give him some space and time for himself.
But he probably hasn’t told you because he doesn’t feel ready to open up to you or maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable being too vulnerable in front of you. So, walking away sounded like a much easier option.
2. He’s second-guessing your relationship
Maybe you thought that the two of you were in a healthy relationship and you were happy with your current position. But that doesn’t mean that your boyfriend shares your opinion.
Instead, his mind is in a completely different place.
It could be that he wasn’t feeling happy with the way certain things happened in your relationship. Maybe he realized that the two of you don’t have the same vision of life.
Perhaps he felt that you would have to go your separate ways in a couple of months anyway because you’re way too different. He felt that you could never make things work so he was second-guessing your relationship.
All of the little things that bothered him accumulated to the point where he felt that he couldn’t take it anymore. And then, he decided to walk away from the relationship.
Since he didn’t want to hurt your feelings, he gave you the simple excuse that he wasn’t ready for this. He thought that would be the easiest way for him to pull away without having to explain his feelings in detail.
3. He’s not sure whether you’re the one
Your boyfriend could tell you that he’s not ready for a relationship when it’s actually that he doesn’t feel like you’re the one for him.
The time you’ve spent together made him realize that he can’t picture himself next to you for the rest of his life.
You don’t match his expectations and he can’t see how this relationship could last. But then again, he thinks that you’re a nice person, so he can’t be so cruel and let you hear those words.
It’s just that you’re not exactly what he’s looking for. He could give you a chance but he knows that the two of you will end the same way as all of his past relationships and he doesn’t want to waste his time.
In this case, you can stop asking yourself if he’ll come back when he’s ready. The chances are that he won’t.
If he doesn’t feel it in his bones that you’re the one for him, there’s a low chance that he’ll want to reconnect with you any time in the future.
But maybe it’s for the best. You shouldn’t force it if it’s not meant to be.
4. He feels trapped
A guy may tell you that he doesn’t feel ready for a relationship but his best friend probably knows that the real reason he broke up with you is that he felt trapped.
Guys hate feeling that they’re losing their independence. They’re afraid of the idea that their relationship could take something away from them.
So, in order to save himself from ending up in a place where he may lose his freedom, a guy may decide to break up with you. As an excuse, he tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship, which is accurate to a certain extent.
He’s not ready to commit to only one woman and to replace wild nights out with evenings spent watching movies with you. To him, that’s exactly what a serious relationship looks like.
However, if he still doesn’t understand that he’s not supposed to lose anything once he’s in a relationship, then it may be for the best that he decided to walk away from you.
5. He’s actually not ready for a relationship
When a guy tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship, it could actually be that he’s telling you the truth.
Wow! Who would’ve thought, right?
But there could be many different reasons why a guy simply doesn’t feel ready to be in a new relationship.
In the past, someone may have hurt him. Perhaps he doesn’t think that the time has come to give love a second chance.
Maybe he still hasn’t moved on since his last relationship. He still has strong feelings for his ex and maybe even thinks about winning her back.
In that case, it could be that you served him only as a rebound and nothing else.
Or maybe it’s his first time falling in love and he doesn’t feel ready to take your relationship to the next level. The pressure is too high and he doesn’t know what’s the right move to make.
Whatever the reason, if he told you that he doesn’t feel ready, it could be that he’s telling you the truth and it’s not some lame excuse.
So, the least you can do is let him know that you’re there if he needs to talk. Tell him you understand where he’s coming from.
The last thing you should do is rush him.
Will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship?
Now that you know the reasons why he actually decided to walk away in the first place, let’s see whether he’ll come back when he’s ready for a relationship.
Last week, he was planning your first trip together. Today, you’re staring at your phone, desperately waiting for a phone call.
You’re hoping that his name will brighten your screen and obsessively checking his social media profiles, wishing to see a post from him.
You’re grasping on to every piece of information that could tell you what he’s up to, since you feel like you have no right to call him.
He broke up with you with the excuse that he doesn’t feel ready for a relationship and all you can think of whether he’ll come back. Will he run into your arms once the timing is better and he realizes that he wants you in his life?
The fact that he decided to leave you means that there’s a good reason why he made the move he did. There’s a reason why he decided to end things with you.
The truth is that your relationship didn’t make him happy anymore. And no matter how hard it is to hear that, it’s the bitter reality.
As every broken relationship differs, there’s no universal answer to your question. It all comes down to personal preferences.
You could have your ex back in a week. Or he could decide that he did the right thing and that you weren’t the woman for him.
But while I can’t straightforwardly tell you whether he’ll come back when he’s ready for a relationship, I can share some secrets with you that will help you regain his attention.
This way, you’ll make him miss you and that’s exactly what needs to happen. He needs to long for the times you spent together because that’s the only way you can have him in your life again.
How to increase the odds of him coming back to you?
Calling him 24/7, begging your mutual friends to invite him to hang out together, and showing up at his door asking him to get back with you won’t do the trick. But there are certainly some other things you could do that will help you increase the odds of getting your ex back.
Here’s what I’m talking about.
1. Apply the no contact rule
You’ll constantly feel this urge to call him when you’re wondering whether he’ll come back when he’s ready for a relationship. You want to know how he is and whether he’s changed his mind.
You want him to know that you’re there for him if he needs anyone to talk to. But all of these things could only push him away.
The truth is that the best move you could make right now is to apply the no contact rule. Even though it sounds like the last thing you should be doing, it can work wonders.
It could be that your guy left because he was scared that he could lose his independence. His freedom was on the line so he wanted to do something about it.
That’s why instead of your relationship, he decided to focus on his own life. And that’s when he decided to break up with you.
Now, you may think that you should chase after him and prove to him that he made a mistake. But if you try to do that, he’ll probably run away even faster than before.
So, your best chance is to apply the no contact rule and stop reaching out to him completely. This way, you can easily take back the power in your hands.
He may realize that he misses you and that he needs you in his life again. He could realize that he wants to try again with you and that he rushed to the wrong conclusion before.
And I guess that’s what you want to achieve. So, let him see what it feels like to not have you around.
Let him see that you won’t chase after him, no matter what. After that, once he’s ready for a relationship, there’s a chance that he’ll come back into your life.
2. Work on yourself
Instead of overthinking about whether he’ll come back when he’s ready, you should focus your time and energy on taking care of yourself.
Rather than worrying day after day about whether he’s coming back, you need to do something good for yourself.
Let him see that time didn’t stop for you the day he walked out of your life. Instead, it only became the starting point of your future transformation.
You’ll use your free time to your advantage and you’ll show him how amazing of a person you are. But you’ll do that because you want to improve yourself as well and be proud of the person you are.
Plan a trip with your friends or even go on a solo journey of rediscovering who you are. One day, go run a marathon and the next, have fun reading your favorite book.
Do all of the things that make you happy, all of the things that will help you grow as a person. Feel the excitement in your bones and improve all those aspects of your life that need to be better.
Don’t ever forget that you can do whatever you set your mind to because it’s the only truth that you need to know.
Once he sees how well you’re doing, he may reach out to you and try to arrange a meet-up. But even if you don’t hear from him, you’ll be proud of yourself for growing as a person and you don’t need a better gift than that.
3. Never forget your worth
I’m aware that you’ll spend your days thinking about whether he’ll ever come back to you. You’ll be wondering whether the day will come when he realizes that he’s finally ready for a relationship with you.
But in those times, you should never forget your worth. You should never forget how much power you hold within yourself.
No one can take that away from you. Not even some guy who decided that you’re not his cup of tea.
There are many guys who would do anything to have you by their side. And what’s most important is you being finally happy with the person you’ve become.
Your worth should be untouched by others. It’s not defined by your ex-boyfriends.
You have so much to experience from life and you should always keep that in mind.
4. Move on with your life
Instead of sitting in your room all alone, waiting for his call, you should move on with your life. Take a step forward rather than spending days wondering whether he’ll come back when he’s ready for a relationship.
You owe it to yourself to enjoy your life and spend it the right way. You owe yourself a ton of moments when you’ll be laughing uncontrollably until your stomach hurts.
There are so many trips to experience, people to meet, and little pleasures to enjoy. And you should never neglect any of those things just because your relationship ended.
If he comes back, good. But even if he doesn’t, you should know that there’s a greater purpose behind everything that happens in your life.
You should trust the timing of your life because it only know what’s right and what’s wrong for you.
If you’re meant to be, he’ll find his way back to you!
You don’t need a relationship expert to tell you that what’s meant to be will come back to you. Even if it seems unbelievable.
Even though last year, you were a completely different person, it was meant for you to change into the one you are today. A caterpillar turned into a butterfly because that was the only natural thing that could happen.
So, you should think of your relationship in the same way. If he’s meant to be in your life, he’ll find his way back into it.
He’ll realize that he made a mistake, he’ll miss you, and he’ll chase after you. But if the universe has some bigger plans and if he isn’t a part of them, then you can’t do much about it.
You can only strive to become a better person and see what will come later in your life. It won’t do you any good to obsess over him and blame everyone and everything for something that you thought was destined to happen.
However, accepting the reality of your situation and doing your best to learn something from it will be more than beneficial.
The chances are that you’ll laugh at your current problems in a year’s time. You’ll realize how insignificant they were and that you weren’t supposed to pay that much attention to them.
Will he come back when he’s ready for a relationship? No one knows.
But we all know that whatever happens, it’ll happen if it was meant to be.
Don’t put your life on hold but rather keep moving with it. Enjoy all of the gifts that it has given you and know that everything happens for a reason.
There’s a blessing in everything that life throws at you.
Maybe he’ll come back to you and your relationship will start flowering. Or he won’t and you’ll realize that you don’t need him to lead a happy life.
Whatever the case, know that all of those things are destined to happen that way. They were meant to be.
Good luck with everything and hopefully, you’ll realize how blessed of a person you are!