Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’ve no idea what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you?
Is there even a right thing you can say?
Being ignored by your boyfriend is totally awful. You start to question your entire relationship and if he ever even loved you.
It’s completely normal. Every single one of us has asked these same questions because we simply don’t have an adequate answer to why he’s doing it.
You simply want to feel safe and sound in your relationship. But when your partner acts like this, it’s not that easy.
This is especially an issue in long-distance relationships because you’re not able to just show up at his door and demand an answer.
You will need to find an effective way to communicate with him even when he’s giving you the silent treatment.
As a relationship expert, I’ve had people ask me this so many times, but every relationship is different.
Firstly, you have to find out why your boyfriend is ignoring you in order to know how to proceed further.
Why is your boyfriend ignoring you?
Before we jump into what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you, let’s first make sure we understand his reasoning behind it. It’ll help you plan your next move without seeming like you’re too desperate for him.
1. He’s mad at you
Did you two fight? If yes, then his absence is understandable.
If he’s mad at you for something you have done then he’s probably waiting for you to make the first move and approach him.
This is completely justifiable. If you do believe that he shouldn’t be mad at you, please think hard about the last time you two spoke and what words were exchanged.
Have you possibly said something that could have upset him?
2. He’s actually busy
What does it mean when I say that he’s actually busy?
Well, he has a lot of work on his plate and projects that he has to keep up with, so his actions are justified. He has challenges in his own life.
Of course, he should always be able to tell you when he’s going to be available again.
However, if he’s not snowed under with work but just playing video games and ignoring your texts, then you have the full right to be upset with him.
3. You’re not his priority
If your man simply refuses to communicate with you and continues to ignore you for no apparent reason, it’s most probably because you’re not his priority.
You know that he doesn’t have work and that you haven’t had a fight. But he just keeps on ghosting you.
This isn’t something that can be changed in a couple of days. This is an actual issue that needs months of work (if he’s even willing to work on it).
4. He needs some alone time
Why would your boyfriend need space in the first place?
Is he going through a rough time and just needs to retreat on his own for a bit to sort the situation and himself out? Or are you being overbearing?
I guess that he needs time to think about your relationship. Especially if you’ve started dating recently and he’s thinking about how it got too serious too fast.
You should probably give him that space to figure himself out. However, know your own limit.
5. He wants to break up
Have you had weird suspicions that he’s wanting to break up with you recently? Has he brought it up a couple of times but you haven’t paid attention to it?
You shouldn’t panic. Of course not. But it is one of the possibilities you should consider.
What to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you
So now that we’ve gone through the possible reasons for him ignoring you, we can move on to the actual things you can say to your boyfriend when he ignores you.
I know it’s frustrating and hurtful to be ignored by your loved ones, especially in the times when you need them.
But it’s the fact that there’s no contact that doesn’t sit right with you.
So let’s go through what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you and hopefully it gets him to finally tell you what’s going on.
1. Send him a short text
A short text is a safe bet because you won’t seem too desperate nor will it make you question yourself.
A short text can be anything:
“Hey, what’s up?”
“How are you holding up?”
“Hey, what are you up to right now?”
If you act like this, he’ll see you aren’t playing his games and are more than willing to talk things through with him.
Never put yourself in a situation where you’re ignoring him too without knowing what the actual cause for his behavior is.
Don’t just play along. Show him that you’d like to talk.
Even if he isn’t ignoring you on purpose, if he’s busy, he’ll be reminded that he needs to text you and apologize for his absence.
2. Confront him about it
If your boyfriend has gone days without texting you back or giving you a call, then you are more than entitled to confront him about it.
If this guy ignores you further, your mental health will suffer and it’s definitely not a healthy relationship.
Just don’t get into a heated argument with him. That said, if he’s not able to tell you what’s wrong, you’re should confront him.
Text him something like:
“I really don’t know what’s going on and why you’re ignoring me, but it’s not sitting right with me. Can we talk about this?”
“I really want us to be able to talk things through, so can you please stop ignoring me? Can you tell me what’s going on?”
Any variations of these texts will be more than fine for the two of you to start a conversation about what’s going on.
Please don’t stay too long in your head. Take action. You deserve an explanation.
3. Show him you’re there for him
Is your boyfriend going through something tough right now? Maybe he’s actually taking some alone time to think about something that’s been bothering him.
That’s why you need to show him that you’ll be there for him if he ever does need you.
We all know that men don’t express their emotions that often. So if you’re ever wondering what to say to your boyfriend when he is ignoring you, this is a great start.
Text him something like:
“I know that you’re having a hard time right now, but please talk to me. You know I’m here for you.”
“Don’t push me away like this. I know you’re going through a lot right now, but you don’t have to go through it by yourself!”
Show him that you care about him and that he can trust you. You are each other’s safe space. You don’t have to be a relationship coach to know that.
4. Turn to other forms of communication
Give him a call. You’ve probably tried sending him text messages and he obviously isn’t replying.
How about you turn to other forms of communication and see what he does?
You could even try texting him through other social media. It doesn’t always have to be the same messaging app.
If you were wondering what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you, this is a good idea: When he answers the call, keep it casual and tell him you were worried about him and that you really needed to talk to him.
If he doesn’t pick up, you know that he’s seriously mad. That, or he simply forgot to text you back and your missed call will remind him.
5. Send him a simple good morning text
A simple good morning text doesn’t have an underlying meaning. It’s very innocent and straightforward.
You can send him this text even if he’s been giving you the cold shoulder for a couple of days now.
Sending him a good morning text means that he’ll see it before he starts his hectic day and his phone gets flooded by notifications.
It’s a safe bet because you come across as very relaxed about the situation, while also reminding him that he hasn’t responded to you in a long time.
6. Tell him you love him
In your desperation, you might as well go for the big guns.
Sending him a simple “I love you” text will only remind him of how precious you are.
It’s a way of making him remember that you really do in fact love him and are suffering because he chooses to continue to ignore you.
If he doesn’t respond to this text at all, then it’s pretty obvious that you need to get out of that relationship.
A man who chooses to ignore his girlfriend who’s just told him she loves him isn’t a man you should associate yourself with.
Even if you two were fighting, love should be a good enough motivator to want to make things right. Your love life shouldn’t hurt.
7. Tell him you understand if he wants to break up
Even if it seems like I am losing my mind with this one, please hear me out.
He might be ignoring you because he doesn’t know how to break up with you. He’s taking a step back because he doesn’t know how to tell you.
You can send him a text like:
“I understand if you want to break up with me, but I think I deserve closure.”
“If you’re losing interest, please respect me enough to let me know.”
Anything along these lines will let him know that you’re giving him permission to break up with you.
I know that it sounds weird. When you were thinking of what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you, this wasn’t what you wanted.
But it’s better to break up with this man than to wait around until he’s ready to realize that he loves you (which may be never).
If he hasn’t been thinking about breaking up with you, then this text will make him jump into action.
He’ll panic and text you right back, telling you that he’s sorry and that he hasn’t thought about breaking up.
8. Tell him you won’t wait around for him (and mean it)
The only moment you can actually use this method is when everything else was unsuccessful.
You don’t deserve to sit around and wait for a man to text you back. If he cared about you enough, he’d text you to tell you what’s going on.
He would talk things through with you and not play childish games.
That’s why the next time you wonder what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you, say this:
“I really don’t deserve this. I’m not going to sit around and wait for you, so if you have something to say, say it now.”
However, if he still chooses not to reply to you, if he thinks that this is just a hoax, show him he’s wrong.
You really do deserve to have someone who won’t make you feel unloved in a relationship.
9. Focus on yourself
After everything you’ve tried, he still chooses to ignore you?
This is the perfect moment to walk away and focus on yourself. Post pictures on your social media about your life and let him see that it’s been great without him.
You really don’t need a man to play with your emotions like this.
You really need to distance yourself from a man who isn’t willing and able to give you the love and attention you need.
Start a new hobby or project that you can work on by yourself.
Don’t just sit around and wait for him, because you’re forgetting to take care of yourself.
10. Move on
I know that we all desperately want closure. We want to know how and why it all went wrong.
But sometimes we’re just not able to get the closure we desire.
That why you need to stop trying to figure out what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you and start moving on.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you should go out of your way to start a new relationship. That’s not good relationship advice.
However, being caught up in a man who obviously doesn’t care about you enough to give the closure you need?
If he isn’t willing to give you the time of day, then he should learn how to live without you. And you without him.
11. Wait for him to text you first
When you decide that enough is enough, don’t text him again unless he texts you first.
When he does text you the next time after so long, you’ll have the ball in your court.
At this point, you should know how to act and what to text him back. You need to ask him questions like why he was absent for so long and why he ignored you.
If he tells you that he was scared or didn’t have time, those were all excuses.
Everyone has time to respond to a simple text. And if he was scared, he could have talked things through with you.
Don’t let him believe that you’re letting him off the hook that easily.
Things you SHOULDN’T say to your boyfriend when he ignores you
In your emotional state, you might find yourself in a situation where you also want to text him some of the following text messages.
I advise you against it, because it won’t get you the result you want.
1. Insulting him
When you’re wondering what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you, this definitely isn’t the way you want to go.
If you fling insults his way, he’ll only be repelled by you. He’ll then have an actual reason to not text you back.
Instead, don’t let your ill emotions get the better of you. Realize that he isn’t worth your breath if he doesn’t want to talk to you.
You need to come out of this situation as the bigger person.
2. Accusing him of cheating right away
It’s true that one of the reasons for his absence could be that he’s found someone else. But it might not be the case.
He could have a million reasons for ignoring you.
So you shouldn’t be accusing him of cheating just because he’s ignoring you.
If you accuse him of cheating and constantly talk about that, he won’t even want to try to reach out to you again.
Especially not if you’re in the wrong. If he’s stayed loyal to you, but you accuse him of cheating, he’ll be even more hurt.
If you’re sure he is cheating on you and you have proof, then just walk away. It’ll hurt him more to know that he didn’t get a rise out of you.
3. Showing up at his doorstep
If you show up on his doorstep after he’s ghosted you for days or maybe even weeks, you’re not doing yourself any favors.
He’s made the conscious decision to ignore you and your numerous attempts to talk to him, so why would he want to talk to you now?
You’ll just get your heart broken. Things will escalate if you choose to pay him a visit and he won’t be too happy about it.
You need to understand that after he’s ignored you, he needs to be the one to reach out to you first. He needs to be the one to apologize and make the first move.
You shouldn’t go out of your way just to get his attention. You deserve so much better than that.
4. Telling him that you’ll go out and find someone better
If you’re looking for what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you, then saying things to make him jealous isn’t the way to go.
Of course, posting pictures on social media is one thing, but actively telling him that you’ll find someone better is petty.
He’ll see right through you. And, trust me, the last thing he’ll want to do is respond to you.
Because if you can find someone better, why not just do it? Why tell him?
Of course, you can do better than him. But you don’t have to deliver that news to him. Just go out and find yourself someone better.
In this article, we’ve covered potential reasons for him ignoring you, and gone into detail about what to say to your boyfriend when he ignores you (and what not to say!)
You have the full story right here.
If a man chooses to ignore you out of his own petty reasons, then he doesn’t deserve to have someone like you in his life.
You’ve been full of understanding for him and the one to always stand by his side.
But now he’s made the decision to walk away from everything you’ve built. He’s ignoring the importance of your relationship and that only shows he isn’t as committed as you’ve been.
Because of that, you need to let him play his little games alone.
Don’t be part of it. Manipulators and emotional abusers quite often use the neglect and abandonment tactic in order to control their victims.
This is more common than you’d believe, so you should be on the lookout for this.
You deserve someone who will talk things through with you and try to settle things like an adult. Not run away like a little kid.
That’s why you shouldn’t be the first one to run to him to get his attention because that’s most probably what he’s trying to achieve.
Give him his space, but don’t wait around for him.