Chemistry is important in a relationship but we can’t pretend that people don’t play mind games no matter how good the vibe is. If you feel like your significant other has been taking you for granted or you aren’t sure where you stand you should try ignoring him to see his reaction.
It will give you all the answers you were looking for. Ignoring him can also work in your favor if you want to get his attention. Don’t be afraid to ignore him to get his attention. The following are some of the instances you can consider taking this route.
1. Ignoring him triggers a reaction
You may have heard about the no contact rule when trying to move on after a breakup or even in getting a guy’s attention. Ignoring him makes him feel the access he had to you is threatened and that’s why he’s likely to react.
Men like knowing they can reach out to you any time and you’ll give them your time. The moment you withdraw that access it drives them crazy and the chase will begin all over again.
Make sure he has to work a bit harder before gaining access to you again. If it is easy for him to come and go in your life he’ll not value you the way you crave. Thus, go ahead and ignore him to get his attention.
2. The Zeigarnik Effect
This may be new to many people but it does work. The effect states that people will always remember uncompleted tasks much better than they do the completed ones.
Uncompleted tasks keep bugging you and all your mind can focus on is how to get them done. It is applicable as well when it comes to men. Attraction does depend on physical attributes but many times you’ll be drawn to people whose feelings you are not sure of yet.
Once you know how someone feels about you the mystery will be gone and so will the thrill of getting their time. Telling someone how you feel about them from the very start is going to take the mystery away as well as their interest in you.
Uncompleted tasks (e.g not knowing how someone’s feelings) arouse curiosity. At times, this can even drive people to obsess and in the process, they will want to spend more time with you to “complete the task.” That’s why it won’t be in vain if you ignore him to get his attention.
3. He doesn’t want to lose
Nobody likes losing, especially men. Their ego will be bruised when you ignore them and since they can’t bear to think they have lost they will double their efforts to win you over.
He’ll be wondering why you are no longer interested in him and that will drive him crazy. He’ll also want to come back to prove to himself that it has nothing to do with his value as a man.
However, note that him coming back because you have ignored him doesn’t always mean he’ll stick around. He might be doing it to confirm that he can still get you when he sets out to do that then leave or go back to his old ways.
If it is all about the chase for him then you may want to ignore him for good, even if he actually comes back. Mind games are not worth the emotional turmoil you’ll get when you become invested only for him to pull back again.
The uncertainty principle will help you realize what goes on in the mind of a guy when you ignore him. It states that uncertainty intrigues people more than certainty does.
Scientific studies have confirmed that people are intrigued more by those who take their time in replying to texts as opposed to those who do so right away. When a guy isn’t sure where he stands in your life it creates an interesting dynamic.
Certainty breeds complacency but uncertainty breeds action. That’s why “playing hard to get” will have a guy bending over backward to please you. Thus, ignore him to get his attention. What he has to work hard to get is more cherished as opposed to the reward that is guaranteed.
5. He craves power
If you rush to answer the phone or text back whenever he reaches out it means you are under his spell. Even when he has been ignoring you for weeks or days it can be hard not to text back immediately if you are into him. However, you can take back your power.
When you ignore a man it means he has no power over you. Turn the tables on him by ignoring him. Blow him off. This will make him question his confidence and power.
The moment he realizes you are in control it will drive him crazy and he’ll do everything he can to gain control. If you are worried that doing so will make him give up and quit you shouldn’t. Ignoring him will only push him to work harder to get your attention.
6. He craves your attention more
Guys crave admiration and attention more than women. It is one of the things that caresses their ego. Pretending you couldn’t care less whether he existed or not will make him go nuts trying to get your attention.
The more you ignore him the more he gets obsessed with you. All his focus will be on getting your attention. The more he waits the more he craves it. Thus, use this tactic if you want him to be at your beck and call.
7. Ignore him to show how special you are
It has been said no one can save a girl in love. Most women will forget about everything else in their lives the moment they fall for a guy.
Everything they do from there will be geared towards catching the attention of the new guy. They flirt, hang unto every word the guy says and this, in turn, makes him feel super special. It can also make him proud and he’ll think you have to keep doing this while he treats you like trash.
When every other woman is obsessed with him but you are ignoring him he’ll get confused. It makes him think you are special and he’ll take it as a challenge to conquer you. In his mind, he’ll just have to have you and there’ll be no one else in his focus but you.
This will always work in your favor if you are trying to get his attention.
8. Teaches him not to mess with you
Being with a guy you have to beg for attention is exhausting and it will be a big hit on your self-esteem. It is even worse when he has a wandering eye because you’ll be watching him give attention to other women but you – the one he should be focused on. When you ignore him it gives him a taste of how it feels when someone discounts your feelings.
The sting of tossing him aside and living your life on your terms makes him feel unwanted. It will also push him to think about you and what you mean to him.
Ignoring him will show him that you are ready to move on without him and if he really wants you to stay he’ll just have to act right. Make him believe he’s disposable and you won’t be missing out on anything by dumping him. That will have him treating you right instantly.
9. Ignore him for the sake of peace
You’ll hear men talk about how dramatic women are when in the real sense a lot of men enjoy the drama and they usually cause it. Some men will push your buttons so that you can react.
If your partner is always doing things that leave you feeling frustrated and angry just ignore his behavior. He’s no different from little kids who will do anything for attention. When you don’t acknowledge his bad behavior he’ll just have to stop acting out because he won’t be getting any reward for that.
The moment a guy realizes you will react no matter how crazy the things he does are he will stop. This is helpful when you want to have peace in the relationship but you may also have to think about leaving if such is the kind of a guy are dealing with.
How to Ignore Someone You Love
Ignoring someone you love isn’t that simple. Not only will it be painful but it will be tempting to pick up the phone and call or visit all the time. However, there are situations in which it has to be done.
This can be due to a rough argument, their behavior or even due to mere rejection. Not getting the attention you need is also a reason enough. Some of the tips you can follow if you have to ignore someone you love include:
1. Never sound needy
If you don’t feel understood you have to let your significant other know about it. However, if he keeps repeating the same things that you have made clear you are not happy with you have to back off and stand your ground.
It might be tempting to beg or throw tantrums to get your way. This rarely works in your favor because it shows the guy he’s too important to you. Don’t run after him and just accept. Never sound or act needy. Will ignoring him work? It definitely will if he is into you.
2. Don’t unload frustrations on social media
You don’t even have to block or unfollow him on social media to ignore him. You just have to mute him or archive the chats. You can also opt-out on getting notifications about his social media activity. When they are not popping up on your screen every few minutes it becomes easier for you.
Don’t give in to the temptation to stalk him online or even in person no matter how strong the urge is. Sticking by this rule when ignoring someone you love will always work for you.
3. Keep yourself busy
When you are idle it is hard for your mind not to wander. In such a case, you’ll be thinking about the person you are ignoring and the more idle you are the more you get the temptation to reach out. Thus, you have to find a way to keep yourself busy.
When you are busy for the better part of the day you’ll have no time to think about the person you are missing.
Thus, it becomes easier to maintain the no contact rule and works in your favor to get him interested by ignoring him. You can keep yourself busy by going out with friends, reading books or even working on self-development. Make sure you are treating yourself well too.
When you are thriving without him he’ll be jealous and want to get back with you. If you are having a good time with other people instead of him it shows that your happiness isn’t dependent on someone else or something else. It is quite a simple way to get him interested again by ignoring him.
4. Don’t be too eager to communicate
Just because he has texted after being silent for hours shouldn’t mean you have to rush to answer the phone. Make him wait a few hours or even days depending on how he’s treated you.
This tells him that better things are occupying your mind. It also knocks him off the pedestal he has put himself on where you are a love-smitten naive girl sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring.
You don’t actually need to have priorities but you can pretend to. Act formal and use his full name so that it sounds more legit.
Also, use monosyllables in your replies to let him know you aren’t that interested. Short dry replies hurt so much and they will drive the point home. It’s exactly what you should be aiming for.
5. Stay focused and be strong
He may be the most perfect man in your eyes but don’t let that make you settle. However, if you look hard enough you’ll realize there is something about him you don’t like.
Also, think back to what made you angry enough to want to ignore him. Not only will this keep you strong in ignoring him but also makes it easier.
However, don’t go running back when he decides to make things right with you. Be stiff and casual to show that you weren’t eagerly waiting for him to come back. He will make a point to change his behavior and treat you right once he realizes how easy it is to lose you. He won’t be taking you for granted as well.
6. Limit physical interactions
If the person you want to ignore is in your social circle or someone you work with it can be hard to ignore him. However, it doesn’t mean it is impossible.
You can memorize his routine so that you know the places to avoid bumping into him. Also, you can still hang out with mutual friends even in his company but limit the number of times you speak to him directly. This may be subtle but it will still send the message.
If you have to talk, make it formal and short. Think about how direct and short the responses you give to strangers are. That is how you have to be when you are ignoring someone you love. Will ignoring him work? You can bet that it will!
7. Avoid eye contact
You may be used to looking around all the time. If the person you are trying to ignore is in the room then you’ll keep making eye contact and this isn’t what you want. However, it doesn’t mean you have to close your eyes when you are in his presence.
Look around the places he’s not at and watch other people. This reduces the chances of making eye contact. You can position yourself in such a way that he is looking at your back.
Will ignoring him work? You don’t have to worry if you are doing everything right. If you still want to see his reaction you can instead have him in your peripheral vision. Actually, this is a great way to be looking at him without making it that obvious.
So, should you ignore him? Yes, and no!
If you are doing it purely for the thrill then that is a fine line to walk. It can result in him being obsessed with you or he can lose interest completely.
If you are only pulling away for a bit to get his attention then fine, but you need to ascertain he’s actually into you so that it doesn’t backfire.