As creatures of habit, we love to have a routine. It makes us feel safe, as it creates space we’re familiar with.
But can we call it a safe zone if a man keeps making the same mistake?
And how many times should that mistake be repeated in order for it to become something else?
We don’t usually think like this. As women who love to fix things and make them better, we forgive men for their mistakes.
We look at it as part of the learning process and we feel that the only right thing to do is let them evolve and work on themselves.
We hope that once we warn them of their mistakes, they won’t make them again.
That’s how we think that things will turn out but what actually happens? Let’s be honest, things don’t usually go this way.
The reality looks more like this…
You meet a guy and you start having feelings for him. As time passes, you fall harder and harder for him.
The two of you start a relationship and it all seems like a dream. You put your rose-colored glasses on and the only thing you see is happiness.
Love surrounds you, and you see it even in places you never saw it before.
Welcome to the honeymoon stage, where everything feels perfectly fine!
But then, things start to change. Over time, you realize that your guy isn’t as perfect as you thought him to be.
Actually, you see things in him that you always hated about other men.
Maybe he keeps acting as if he doesn’t respect you, or he stops putting effort into the relationship because he probably thinks that it’s unnecessary since he already won you over.
Maybe he acts toxic or controlling, or he even flirts with other women with the excuse that it’s not that big of a deal.
Whenever you confront him, he makes excuses and false promises that he’ll change. As a woman in love, you decide to trust him and you give him another chance.
But somewhere down the road, he makes the same mistake again. He does the same thing you warned him about and he doesn’t seem to realize it.
It’s like his mind erased your words and he doesn’t remember that only recently, you were fighting over the same issue.
You love him and you’ve always heard that you should fight for real love.
Because you think that he’s the right one for you, you give him another chance.
In the end, he tells you that he’s sorry and that he’ll never make that same mistake again. He says he’s foolish or some lame excuse similar to that.
Guess what? Surprise, surprise, here he comes again, making yet another mistake, and who would imagine that it would be the same one as before?
Again, he’s being disrespectful, controlling, or flirtatious with other women.
It feels like you’re listening to a broken record that keeps playing the same song over and over again.
What do you do now? You love him, so should you give him another chance?
This time will be the last time, right? He won’t do that again.
For all of you who’ve experienced something like this (and I know that there are a lot of us), I just want to tell you one thing.
A MISTAKE THAT KEEPS REPEATING IS CALLED A DECISION!
You can do something wrong once and call it a mistake; I’m fine with that.
But once you keep doing the same thing over and over again, it doesn’t count as just a mistake anymore.
You’re willingly making a decision to do it, and there are no excuses for that.
I know that men can get creative and that they’ll find an explanation for it, but I don’t want you to let them do that anymore.
We could all act like fools and do things that hurt others because they don’t cause us any harm. But is that the point of a relationship?
Do you want to be with someone who constantly ignores you, your needs, and your wishes just because he’s selfish enough to not care about you?
Do you really need someone like that in your life?
If you want me to be honest, I’m sure that you wouldn’t hang out with a friend like that, so then why do you need to be in a relationship with someone who keeps putting you down?
If he ignores all of the chances that you keep giving him, it’s clear that he’s putting you down with his behavior.
He’s showing you that he is more important than you are and that he’ll never change.
No matter how many chances you give him, he’ll always make the decision to go against you.
When you let him show you once that he doesn’t want you, he’ll do that a second and third time.
He’ll keep doing that until you fall apart standing in front of him.
And that’s not a healthy relationship.
I’m not even sure if you could call it a relationship if he willingly chooses to make the same mistakes because he knows that you’ll forgive him.
He knows that once he hugs you and gives you an excuse, you’ll fall for his sweet words and let him come back.
But you’re so much more than that. You’re so much more than letting him hurt you over and over again just because you love him.
Trust me, he doesn’t love you.
If he did, he would never willingly decide to crush your heart as if it’s made out of glass, and he would never choose to hurt you more than once.
Even if he made a mistake, he would stop, and change his future behavior, but instead, he keeps doing the same thing and making excuses for himself.
He keeps acting like a victim, as if he’s not aware of his actions.
Trust me when I say that he knows very well what he’s doing.
He knows that he’s hurting you but his mistake that keeps repeating is called a decision.
It’s no longer a mistake. It’s a decision. A conscious decision to do things his way, even though you recently begged him to change.
The sad reality is that people like this never change!