This Is What It Feels Like When You’re The Girl Who Is Too Familiar With Love That Leaves

And so it happened again. I’m the girl who is too familiar with love that leaves, left hanging once more, still full of love but with no hope on the horizon. You’re gone, just like every person before you. Am I destined to always feel this way?

I always give it my all, but somehow, it never seems to be enough. I know it’s not my fault—sometimes things just don’t work out, and sometimes people aren’t meant to be together. But knowing this rationally doesn’t stop me from feeling the way I do.

My mind tells me that it’s normal for anyone to experience this, that being left by someone multiple times is merely a coincidence. But then my heart steps in with the words:

But how can this keep happening without it being your fault? Why does everyone around you seem so happy? How do they maintain long-term relationships while you’re left feeling lonely and hurt?

I can’t silence these whispers of my heart. They come to me at night with the same intensity they do during a pleasant conversation with a friend. And they paralyze me. Do you know what that feels like too?

I only ever wanted a lasting love, a partner who continues to put in the effort no matter how difficult things become. Why do they all leave at the first sign of trouble?

I still remember my first love. He had already departed emotionally long before he physically walked away. I spent months analyzing the distance between us, clinging to the hope that my love could bridge it. But no matter how hard I tried, the distance only grew, eventually becoming the final farewell.

How do you cope with something like that? When someone you care about leaves, where do you direct all that love? People might suggest focusing on yourself, but they don’t really understand. Do you?

When we’re abandoned by someone we cherish, it becomes hard to accept love from anyone else, let alone give it to ourselves. We feel unworthy of it, thinking that if we deserved it, they wouldn’t have left us, right?

There was a second love too, when I once again entrusted my heart to someone else. It ended the same way. I was left in tears while he walked away, relieved to be free of me.

I don’t understand people. Even when you offer them all the love in the world, they can still see it as worthless. Or is it just me? Maybe I’m destined to experience only unrequited love. I wonder if I’ll ever know anything different.

Will I ever know what it feels like to be truly cared for? Will someone ever love me as deeply as I love them? Or even just a little, enough to stay by my side? I just want one person who remains through it all. Is that too much to ask?

Being too familiar with love that leaves not only feels terrible but also leaves lasting scars. Have you ever met someone wonderful who seemed like everything you’d ever dreamed of? Have you felt loved by them, only to think you might finally be healed? Then, out of nowhere, something new happens. They say or do something slightly unusual, and your mind reacts with a resigned sense of déjà vu.

You start interpreting the smallest signs as evidence of an impending departure. I suppose that’s what happens when someone says they love you and then leaves the very next day. You stop believing the words.

You begin to question your ability to distinguish between a trauma response and the truth. All you can see is another loved one who will inevitably leave you, just like everyone else.

Then they reassure you that everything is fine, and you start feeling good again. But that relief is short-lived, as you’re trapped in a constant cycle of destructive thoughts that never truly vanish—they only take brief pauses.

Can you ever rid yourself of this? There are days when I feel I know the answer, days when I’m healthy and wise, free from all the damaging thoughts.

In those moments, I remind myself that the past doesn’t define the future. The relationships that ended weren’t my fault; they were just how things were meant to be. This one might be different. It might not last, but it might not fall apart either.

It sounds like sound advice, doesn’t it? Any rational mind would think this way because it’s the truth. Some things just don’t work out, and it’s nobody’s fault. Sometimes people are simply unlucky or stuck in a pattern of choosing the wrong partners, never encountering the ones who would truly make them happy.

This all seems fine and dandy, until the day comes when the negative thoughts overwhelm everything. They start whispering that I’m not meant to have anyone, or, as Kafka put it, that I’m “unfit for any human relationship.”

It’s not easy to banish these thoughts, and it might even be impossible. So don’t expect any ancient wisdom from me. But there is one thing I can say to you:

Always be true to how you feel. Tell the person you love them, and even share your doubts with them. Whatever happens, happens.

Trust me: things are rarely as dire as your mind suggests. Picture a friend writing these very words. What advice would you give them? Would you ever see them the way you see yourself?

I assume you wouldn’t. So, allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling. After all the trauma you’ve endured, it’s natural to have a few scars.

Just don’t believe you’re doomed or that love will forever slip through your grasp. Remember, your mind can deceive you. Seek solace from those who care about you. You will find your way through this.

There will come a day when you’ll look back and whisper: I see now why the past never held true. At last, I have discovered a love that is eternal, a forever kind of love.