I think we all know how being fooled by someone you love actually feels. We’ve all been there, at least once. It’s something no one wishes upon, but it happens. Unfortunately, we’re not always aware of it at the beginning.
This specific person who caused you so much pain means the world to you and you can’t really accept the reality of what’s going on. You just can’t seem to wrap your mind around it.
Love can hurt, but we are never prepared to feel it on our skin.
If someone has somehow played your trust it’s time to rethink some of your choices. If you suspect that you’re being fooled by someone you love, then you should take matters into your own hands.
It gets especially hard when you’ve been in a relationship for a while. But the thing is that you can’t sit around all day asking yourself whether or not you’ve lost your mind.
If you’re at your wit’s end, you have come to the right place. Here are some tips to help you battle with your inner voices and make the right decision.
Who can fool you?
Love can be hard on us, but this is no reason to give up on it. We all have our ups and downs, and that’s what makes us human.
However, this doesn’t mean you have to accept everything life throws at you. You have to stand up for yourself and say “no” because only dead fish go with the flow, right?
When it comes to being fooled by someone you love, it can either be a friend or a lover. Even family members can show their real faces at times…
So-called friends, lovers, and cousins can do us more harm than good simply by being a part of our lives. Their deceiving looks, warm face, and sweet words may swoon us the second we see them walking into the room.
I know how hard it can be to open your eyes and admit to yourself that your partner wants to play you. Your friends may even try to talk you out of it and jump in to reveal some of the things you’ve been blindly accepting; because love is blind, right?
However, your lover isn’t the only danger preying on you. “Friends” can also try fooling you by hanging out with you just because you’re popular, have a good job, or amazing reputation.
Your family members can sometimes stay in touch with you only because they know they can use you. You’ll probably end up babysitting their child every once in a while but they won’t ever return the favor.
If someone who’s close to you has been acting suspicious lately, you might want to look out for some common signs that they’re pretending to be something they aren’t.
Unfortunately, anyone you love can fool you by using your devotion to their advantage. You just have to be smart enough to open your eyes and realize what’s going on.
How do you know you’re being fooled by someone you love?
What hurts the most is when you realize that your partner has been fooling you for some time. The person who was supposed to be there for you in good and bad turned out to be wearing a mask this whole time.
Your partner can be charming and pull you in like a magnet. You know when you see a great advertisement on the TV that makes you yell take my credit card! since the commercial sounds like a dream come true?
Or when you go to the shop and arrive home with something you weren’t even planning to get because the salesmen at the place were so good at their job?
This is what happens when you’re being fooled by someone you love. They’ll draw you in with fancy talk, nice looks, big promises, and all that.
Just like the salesmen at the shop, your partner is also trying to sell himself. But how do you sell something at a high price if it’s not worth that much? Well, you don’t sell the product – you sell the story, of course!
When you put two and two together, you come to the conclusion that both the salesmen and your partner have a common goal – profit.
The salesmen from the shop will be happy with your bucks in their cash register, but what about your partner? Well, if he’s in the relationship because of money or has other interests, he’ll be more than happy if he gets away with his plan.
A person who wants to fool you can have their reasons. However, whatever the excuse might be, it doesn’t justify their actions because no one deserves to be mistreated.
1. Liar, liar, pants on fire!
This saying is perhaps more popular among children, but unfortunately, it’s not uncommon in the adult world either. If you think you’re being fooled by someone you love, there’s a high chance that your partner is lying to you.
A relationship should always be founded on trust. It’s like you’re building a house – if you don’t set the strong foundations, it’s gonna collapse with the first wind that comes your way.
This means if your bond isn’t built on trust, the very first problems that might cross your path can sway your relationship, and things can go downhill really fast.
If your partner is fooling you, you may notice him getting antsy and blabbering on and on. Being fooled by someone you love implies that he’ll probably lie about where he’s been and with whom.
It doesn’t even have to be another person, he can pretend about the most banal things, such as lying about having a diploma. He will do anything to please you and make you think highly of him.
Unfortunately, these little white lies in a serious relationship can have a bad outcome. If he’s ready to lie about something minor, can you imagine what he’s going to do regarding major things in life?
2. Defensiveness
These little white lies we were just talking about can make you doubt everything. You may start questioning your partner, but keep in mind that you’ll be met with a form of resistance.
This may remind you of a football game, perhaps. For example, if you start asking questions all of a sudden, your partner will probably feel attacked and start his own counterattack.
To be more precise, he can answer you with his own spurt of questions and start acting all defensive. So, if you can’t seem to get the answer out of him by asking harmless questions and instead you get the attitude, you’ll know you’re being fooled by someone you love.
3. Clingy all of a sudden?
When you’re in love with someone, it’s hard to stay focused on what’s happening around you. So far, we know that love is blind, but what does that mean exactly?
If you’re a hopeless romantic, it’s hard for you to discover the underlying problem. So, here’s a common clue he’s misleading you – he wasn’t the clingy type, but now it looks like he can’t live without you.
It could be a sign that he’s trying to cover up the actual reason why he’s in a relationship with you. Honestly, it probably isn’t because he loves you, but simply because he’s trying to get something from you.
So, if he starts to adhere to you all of the sudden, and he wasn’t that type in the beginning, you can be sure that something is off. He will become a little extra in smothering you with love and emotions, and that’s how you’ll know something’s up.
4. Is he keeping you a secret?
When you’re being fooled by someone, it may imply a lot of things. Perhaps your partner wants you to lay low and keep the relationship private.
This shouldn’t be a problem if you both consent to it. However, you may get this weird feeling that your private relationship is a bit too private.
How can this be? You may think you’ve gone bonkers, but are you dating an ordinary person or some kind of an agent?
Being in a low-key relationship is one thing, but keeping someone a secret is another pair of shoes. This can be one more proof that you’re being fooled by someone you love.
If his friends and family don’t know you exist, it sounds like alarm bells to me.
Things you can do when you assume you’re being fooled by someone you love
If you notice any of the previously mentioned signs in your partner, you have the right to be doubtful. However, we still know how hard it is to accept the truth and deal with it.
Therefore, you have to be careful with the next steps you take. Once you realize that someone is toying with you, you have to take action.
Here are some tips and tricks on how to deal with someone who is pretending and trying to play you.
1. Trust your gut!
If you’re getting this feeling that you’re being fooled by someone you love, you should probably trust your instincts. It’s fairly simple – there’s no reason why you should start doubting someone all of a sudden unless they give you the cause.
For instance, when I started questioning my partner, I didn’t let myself get tired of doing it. I also didn’t mention anything in particular about my doubts, but there was always that inner voice telling me to investigate it further.
Guess what? The voice was right!
If you’re an overthinker, you may believe it’s just one more of your what-if moments. However, if you have that voice constantly nagging you at the back of your mind, don’t disregard it.
2. Be cool
No matter the outcome and whether you decide to confront him or not, you should keep your head cool.
That way, you’ll have more time to recollect your thoughts and decide what your next step is going to be. They say that revenge is best served cold, which is true. However, you’re not aiming for revenge, you just want to reveal the truth.
Reality can hurt but, in the long run, it’s always better to face it. So, if you believe that the truth is hiding around the corner, go for it! But remember, half-cocked solutions can only make matters worse.
Making a move in hectic haste won’t bring any good to you or your relationship. This leads us to the next tip, so read carefully and slowly.
3. Gather evidence!
If you have this gut-wrenching feeling that your partner is pretending to be someone they’re not, or doing things behind your back, you have to prove it.
Imagine if lawyers were going around telling judges that they rest their case just because they have a feeling. A lot more people would be in prison, and those lawyers would probably lose their jobs.
Therefore, you have to collect some kind of concrete evidence that will support your arguments. And gathering evidence depends on what you’re dealing with.
If you’re being fooled by someone you love, it may mean your partner’s cheating on you. On the other hand, a friend or a family member that’s not so loyal anymore can start talking behind your back or turning people against you.
If these situations take place, it would be best to have someone as a witness that would confirm all of the atrocities that this specific person has been doing.
Either way, you can’t go into the discussion empty-handed, because that way, you give your partner or friend a greater chance to just continue being defensive.
Moreover, there’s a chance they will change their game and lay low from now on while still fooling you. So, don’t blow up your chance at revealing them.
4. Work smarter, not harder
If you had a plan on just going to face your partner without any proof or not giving it a second thought, you may want to take a step back.
There’s a chance you will fuel his behavior more and he’ll continue misleading you which will make it harder for you to deal with. Betrayal is hurtful on its own, but being constantly lied to in the face can leave some serious consequences.
You probably thought that something like this could never happen to you, but sometimes, love hurts. Even though we all know that we’re still never ready to deal with it once it happens.
Make sure to take your time and gather much-needed evidence. That way, you won’t only have rock-solid proof, but you’re also going to gain that extra boost of confidence to get you through it all.
5. Talk to someone
Instead of trying to hurry by breaking the news to the person who’s been fooling you, take your time to gather yourself and talk to someone. That way, the burden won’t be as heavy and you’ll have support.
It’s true that you’ll have to deal with it on your own, but knowing someone has your back is always a plus. Communicate with a person you trust the most, whether it be a close friend or a family member.
Maybe they were in a similar situation before and can give you useful advice. Also, hearing what the situation looks like from a different perspective can give you another way to look at it.
Besides, they can maybe even open your eyes to something that you couldn’t see before or something that you’ve missed all along.
6. Come face to face
If you’ve finally decided that things aren’t going the way you imagined or something’s changed, it’s time to confront the person. Just because you’re being fooled by someone you love, it doesn’t mean they should be allowed to get away with it.
It may be hard to muster up the courage and face this person, but that’s why you took all the needed steps before the final one. If you gathered the evidence and had a talk with someone who helped you realize the reality of the situation – you’re ready to make a move.
Therefore, nothing’s stopping you from getting the deserved truth. However, you must brace yourself for the consequences, such as breaking up with your partner and losing a friend.
7. Stay strong
No matter what happens, you should take the reins and get a hold of your life. Breaking up with your partner, losing an old friend, or getting in a fight with your family member is never easy. We’re just humans and things like this affect us.
Therefore, it’s normal to feel sad and cope with it the best we know. For example, when I was in a similar situation, I searched for something that would occupy my mind and cheer me up.
I found that the best thing to do is stay true to yourself and not let anything get in your way of recovering. Also, don’t let anyone try to persuade you into changing your mind.
Once you set your priorities straight, the rest will be easy to deal with. Meanwhile, you can focus on things you like or start a hobby that you were always fond of.
If you had something on your mind but you didn’t have the support of your partner, it’s also another sign you were being fooled by someone you love. People who love you will support you no matter what and those who don’t, just aren’t right for you.
Therefore, you have to stay strong and love yourself even more. That way, any hardships that come your way won’t feel impossible to get through.
8. Don’t take the blame
Let’s say that you’ve finally realized that your partner has been fooling you and you know that you must do something about it.
Confronting someone can be a pain in the neck, especially if that someone is trying to play you. When you come face to face with him and even with all the evidence, he will probably still try to deny everything.
Don’t fall into this trap because he knows how to manipulate a person pretty well. Taking into consideration that he’s already been fooling you for some time now, he pretty much knows what he’s doing.
It’s important not to let him change your mind or persuade you into forgiving him. Moreover, he can try to get you to take the blame.
He also may try to make you think he was your unicorn man all along, offering everything you ever wished for… Do not fall for his sweet talk and manipulating ways once again!
Being fooled by someone you love is hard to accept and he may see this as an opportunity to turn things to his advantage. Remember to stay strong and true to yourself, and don’t let him shake you up one more time.
9. Sorry doesn’t cut it
When we do something wrong, it’s only right to apologize for it. However, we can say sorry for things such as unintentionally stepping on someone’s toes.
Saying sorry to someone you hurt deeply isn’t going to cut it. Therefore, if you’re being fooled by someone you love and all that person does to make it up to you is apologize, don’t give in.
Don’t settle down for the apology because it’s not worth it. That’s just another tactic people like this will try to use only to get you back on their side.
10. Cut to the chase
You may get stage fright when trying to face someone, but this shouldn’t bring you down. Unfortunately, this can also be something that this person uses against you.
For example, your partner can start beating around the bush and even bring up the good memories to try and make you feel bad. However, you shouldn’t let that happen.
The best thing to do is cut to the chase and be straightforward with him. That way, you won’t give him the time to make up any excuses or confuse you.
Moreover, tackling the issue right away will make him see how confident you are. The sooner you lay down all your conclusions, the less trouble you’ll have to deal with.
The aftermath of being fooled by someone you love
Going through a breakup or dealing with the loss of a friend who was close to you will affect you greatly. This is alright, and you have to give yourself time to heal properly.
The sooner you accept the truth, the sooner you will heal. For example, when I was being fooled by someone I loved, we broke up. However, the realization hit me much later when I was all alone.
It’s normal for that to happen, but you shouldn’t stay in that situation forever. You know how they say, the show must go on!
No matter the consequences, you can’t give up on yourself after everything you’ve been through already. Instead, you should be happy that you got rid of all that burden weighing you down.
However, don’t pressure yourself to heal quickly, and give yourself enough time to process everything. Everyone is different, so everyone will have different types of coping mechanisms.
You can go to the gym, enroll in a course or just have some alone time. Choose what’s best for yourself and just go for it.
The road to recovery may be a long and lonely one, but you’ll get there eventually. All you need is a little bit of faith in yourself.
It’s hard to trust someone when stuff like this happens, so don’t feel pressured to rush into another relationship shortly afterward.
You never know why things work out the way they do and what waits for you around the corner. Every cloud has a silver lining and so does being fooled by someone you love.
Leave a comment