Think aloud
People separate for many reasons but there are often signs of reconciliation after separation. You’ll see them and you’ll just know that the time has come to reconsider your choices.
When people think about ending their marriage, a roller coaster of emotions is inevitable. That roller coaster makes you think that you won’t be able to move on from them or, on the flip side, you may think that you’ll never miss them at all.
You and your husband may even stop talking for a while. You know that you shouldn’t contact him when you don’t feel comfortable with it and you don’t want to break his boundaries either.
So when he starts making an appearance in your life again, of course you’ll wonder whether he’s showing you signs of reconciliation after separation.
After years of trying to save your relationship, you walked away from each other; not to say that you gave up on your marriage but you definitely did see that it wasn’t for you. No one can blame you for separating after you’ve tried couples therapy and counseling.
Separating from your husband was the last thing you ever wanted to do. You said your vows and you wanted to love him regardless of what was to come.
Sometimes people separate not because there was something wrong but simply because they weren’t right for each other at the time. When that happens, you may seek each other out after you’ve healed.
You can’t tell me that you haven’t thought of this yourself. You want him back in your life, so right now things just seem to be falling back into place.
However, should you really get your hopes up? Should you trust that he wants you back or are you just imagining things?
Signs of reconciliation after separation
Can the current relationship you have with your husband actually lead to a reconciliation?
When you think back to the first time you even mentioned divorce, your heart shattered into a million pieces. Now that you’re thinking of taking him back, you’re so confused.
You’re cautious because you don’t want to scare him but you also don’t want to get hurt again by holding on to hope.
Before you let yourself act on the feelings he’s invoking in you, you have to make sure that what you’re seeing are actual signs of reconciliation after separation.
You don’t want to fall victim to any games and you want to make sure that he genuinely cares about you.
So here are all the signs you’ll have to look out for because they won’t always be that obvious. Make sure to always keep an eye out for them.
1. He reaches out to you
You may believe that he doesn’t think much of it when he texts you or calls you. However, why would an ex do that unless he wants to reconcile?
Of course, there are reasons such as your kids, if you have them. He wants to stay in contact with them so he has to contact you to see them.
However, does he call you besides that? Does he just call you to ask how you’ve been doing and what you’ve been up to?
An ex, especially an ex-husband, won’t show this sign of reconciliation after separation if he isn’t serious about it.
You might have thought about joint custody of the kids, so now he’s still a part of your life but that doesn’t mean that he’ll contact you on a daily basis.
If it’s just about the children, he’ll call you when he has to pick them up or drop them off, so he won’t text you randomly or hold an entire conversation with you.
You know, deep down, that he wouldn’t even text you if he wasn’t interested in seeing where his chances with you are right now. He would probably just let you live your life and he would live his.
2. He’s interested in your well-being
This is another one of those subtle signs of reconciliation after separation.
You want to make sure that you’re reading this correctly, however, as you don’t want to think that just because he asked you whether you were doing okay he was flirting with you.
But why would he care? Why do people care about these sorts of things?
We usually ask about the well-being of the people we care about. He’s your husband and he still cares about how you’re doing.
Of course, you need to make sure that he’s not just doing it as a way to form small talk. If he’s asking you how you’ve been when you’re waiting in line in a grocery store, then it’s nothing serious.
However, he may go so far as to call you and ask you what’s going on in your life. You may freak out but deep down, you’re the one who knows your husband the best – you’ve been married to him.
You know what he’s thinking when he does these things and you probably already know that this isn’t something he would do unless he was genuinely interested in rekindling things.
3. He finds excuses to see you
There are many things that can be resolved over a phone call or two. Actually, many issues in this world only need a few text messages to be figured out.
However, if your husband is truly trying to reconcile with you, then he’s going to try to see you as often as possible.
Even if you can figure out a schedule over Google Calendar to see your kids or sort a divorce, he’s still going to ask you out for coffee to talk these things through.
You can’t resolve every single issue you have over texts, as there are truly things that you need to sit down and talk about, but the types of meetings I mean are about the smallest and silliest things in this world.
For example, he found a picture of you two that he didn’t want to throw away so now you have to go out so that he can give it back to you. He could have just mailed it to you but he obviously wants to see you.
4. He compliments you a lot
This is not just one of the signs of reconciliation after separation, this is a very obvious sign that he likes you. He still likes you as a person and he compliments you to get his message across.
He will start complimenting you about the smallest things. When you divorce on a bad note or when you walk away from a partner, you don’t really tend to compliment them, especially not often or over little things.
However, when your husband isn’t over you and he’s trying to find a way to come back to you, then he’s going to use this as a means to show you he still cares.
These compliments can include easy to spot changes like your new haircut or a new dress but if he’s trying really hard, then he’s going to say something very authentic or unique, something that’s very special and significant to you.
He may know that you’ve been struggling to change something in your life and once you do, he compliments you on it. Someone who didn’t care about you at all wouldn’t even notice this.
You can’t tell me that this man isn’t trying really hard to show you that he still genuinely cares about you and he may be thinking of coming back to you.
5. He asks for your advice
Men always seek advice from people whose opinions they value. When he asks you for your advice, it only shows that he truly cares about what you think and believe.
Back then, when you were a team, you would never make a decision without asking each other first. Of course, that shouldn’t be the case anymore, as you shouldn’t have to ask your separated spouse for advice any longer.
So why does this even mean that he wants to reconcile after you’ve separated? Well, he wouldn’t ask for your opinion if he didn’t want to involve you in his life anymore.
When a man asks a woman for advice, it’s a clear indication that he trusts her. He cherishes you and he wants you to see that as well.
Your husband trusts you and because of that, you can’t really say that he doesn’t want you back. He obviously can’t stay away from you because he’s always trying to include you in his life decisions.
6. He’s always ready to help you out
It may seem weird because a man is seldom the caretaker of the household; he’s mostly the provider. So when he stops providing for your household because you’re separated, why does he keep on insisting on helping you out?
He asks you about your finances and whether you need help with anything around the house and he may even offer to fix your car or the sink. It doesn’t matter what it is, he’s just trying really hard to show you that he still cares.
This is one of the less subtle signs of reconciliation after separation. Even if you believe that he’s not really trying to send you an underlying message, it’s still there.
Your husband wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t want to be with you again. He would be going out and making a life for himself instead of offering you help on a daily basis.
He wants to take care of you and show you that you can still rely on him for help whenever you may need it. Isn’t this exactly what made you marry him back then?
7. He surprises you with gifts
If this was simply your ex-boyfriend, what would you have thought? You’d probably wonder why this man’s so persistent.
If this was anyone but your husband, you’d genuinely think that he was trying to get something out of it. So you shouldn’t be surprised when I tell you that this is one of the signs of reconciliation after separation.
It doesn’t matter how small the actual gift is, what does matter is that he thought of you.
You may have told him about how much you needed some new curtains and he got them for you.
Maybe you just mentioned how you need to get yourself a nice dress for a meeting and there he is, either offering to pay for it or actually buying you the one you want.
These gifts are a token of his appreciation and a sign that he wants you back. You can’t just brush it off every time he buys you something, even if it’s just a hairpin.
It’s clear that this man is still head over heels for you, let me tell you that.
8. He prolongs your meetings as much as possible
When you meet up with him, he always finds an excuse to keep you there for a while longer. It doesn’t matter whether he does it because he wants to spend time with you or because he actually finds other issues to talk about.
This man doesn’t let you leave because it may be symbolic of you being left out of his life in general.
Not many people can actually face these instances when they know that their time with the person they love the most is limited, so he keeps you near him as long as possible.
You see this happening and it’s one of the signs of reconciliation after separation, as he can’t let you go that easily.
If he genuinely didn’t care about you or if he didn’t think about getting back with you, he’d just let you go. He would let you leave and you wouldn’t have to think about this anymore.
He finds so many different topics to talk to you about that you actually wonder whether he prepares every single one of them in advance. And afterward, he even offers to walk you back home.
A man who isn’t interested in getting back together with you wouldn’t do this, believe me.
9. He always finds a reason to touch you
This has always been one of the signs that someone is interested in you romantically. However, once you separate from your husband, you simply think that he does it out of habit.
Well then, why don’t you do it? You don’t do it because you believe that you don’t have the right to touch him anymore.
He’s not yours to touch so you keep your hands to yourself. You’re even extremely conscious about the space between you because you don’t want to touch him by accident.
He doesn’t seem to have a problem with any of that, however. When he laughs, he has to touch your arm or when he passes by you, he always touches your waist.
This man obviously can’t stop touching you because he wants you. He wants to be with you again and he wants you to know that.
You’re extremely aware of every touch and believe me when I tell you that he sees how much it affects you.
A man who didn’t want to reconcile with you wouldn’t even dare do this because he would think that he was sending you the wrong message.
So when he does touch you quite often, it’s because he still likes you romantically and he wants to remind you of your time spent together.
10. He seems a little bit unsure of himself
You know your husband too well. You know that he’s always been someone who’s confident and sure of himself.
He was never the nervous one of you two, so why does it seem like his legs are shaking whenever he’s around you? You don’t remember scaring him with anything or even giving him a hard time when you’re together.
However, he continues to act as if he’s going to faint at any moment. He seems so nervous that it’s even funny at times.
He stumbles over his words, he gets clumsy and he obviously can’t look you in the eye. It doesn’t even have to be any of these signs, he could just be reluctant to talk to you in general.
How are you supposed to ignore these signs of reconciliation after separation? He’s so clearly nervous because you’re there, even though you’d think that after years of being together, he’d feel comfortable around you.
This happens when one of the partners isn’t sure about the feelings of the other and then they just get extremely unsure about themselves. This time, it’s him who’s the nervous and unsure one.
He likes you still and he’s probably figuring out whether he wants to ask you to get back together.
11. He brings up memories
When someone brings up memories, they do so for a certain reason, either as a reference to a story or to wake up some emotions inside of you. So which one do you think is more probable in your case?
During your time together, you and your husband made some great memories. When you separated, you swept them under the rug because you felt like they would only hurt you now.
Those memories are there to remind you of happier times with him, which is why he uses them to get you to think about your marriage again.
When there are other signs of reconciliation after separation, you will see this one as well. People usually use this little game after a break-up, separation, or divorce to remind their ex of those happy times.
He wants you to think of them so he can remind you just how happy you were with him and he may even want you to consider loving him again like that and giving him another chance.
12. He brags a little bit
There must have been some big issues in your marriage for it to come to a separation while you think about divorce.
For example, you always wanted him to talk about his emotions more, so you told him to maybe go to therapy. You said it in hope of creating a better environment for you both, so that he could communicate better.
However, he made it seem like the biggest insult in the world. He didn’t see it as genuine advice but rather as something that hurt his ego.
Now he’s bragging to you about how he’s finally going to therapy. He says that you were right and now he’s talking about all of his little successes and says that therapy has truly helped him.
This is just a small example of what could have happened between you. It’s one of the signs of reconciliation after separation because he wants you to see that he’s trying really hard.
He may have gotten a job or he started to dress just the way you always asked him to. It doesn’t matter what it is, he’s doing it to show you that your words didn’t fall on deaf ears.
13. He asks your mutual friends about you
If your husband truly believed that he needed to stay away from you, he wouldn’t be asking your friends about your whereabouts. He wouldn’t ask them anything, especially not if you have someone new in your life.
Whenever we give others dating advice, we tell them that this is a sign that someone likes you very much. They like you romantically and they want to know what you’ve been up to without you knowing that they’re interested.
However, when those friends are your mutual friends, they’ll obviously say something to you about this entire situation. He did it on purpose so they could go right to you in order to spill the information.
This is one of the signs of reconciliation after separation, even though it’s quite a subtle one. He wouldn’t be asking these questions if he wasn’t genuinely curious about your life.
If you have someone new in your life, he’ll want to know, and because he feels awkward asking you, he goes to the next best source of information. He wants to know whether there’s still a chance for you two to get back together.
Which is, if you ask me, a very cute thing to do.
