Think aloud
“I broke up with my girlfriend, but I miss her so much. Can I get her back?”
This is something that happens rather frequently, even though men don’t want to admit it to themselves. They maintain that “macho” image when, in actual fact, they have a soft heart and regret dumping the girl they love.
So, what should you do if you broke up with your girlfriend, but then later realized that she was the best thing you had going for you? Is there a way that you can make her part of your life again without looking like a complete douche?
Perhaps you’re thinking about calling or texting her and saying how you made a huge mistake, while praying that she’ll take you back.
Well, truth be told, this strategy won’t get you anywhere if you’re eager to get back together with your ex-girlfriend.
Just put yourself in her shoes and think how she’d feel if she was the one who dumped you. In most cases, a woman isn’t going to forgive you so easily if you broke up with her. She’ll question your loyalty and have a hard time trusting you again.
I broke up with my girlfriend, but I miss her…
It’s quite normal to miss a person who means the world to you and who was there for you when no one else was. You’ve come to your senses and figured out that you want her back because you can’t live without her.
So, in order to attract her again, you will need to broaden your approach and think of a strategy where she’ll fall in love with you again.
You need to realize you hurt her and her disappointment level is at an all-time high. You’ll have to put in a lot of effort and energy if you truly want to give your love another shot.
She sure won’t be interested in just letting it all slide, and she won’t welcome you back with open arms and kisses. You need to get that idea out of your head, ASAP!
So, how do you get her back then? Well, there’s no straight answer to this question, but I’ll give you some tips on how to get your girlfriend back.
But before we get into it, there are a couple of things you should consider after dumping your girlfriend that will give you an honest answer about whether it’s worth giving your love another chance.
Things to consider if you broke up with your girlfriend but now miss her and want her back
We can all use a bit of help when trying to handle things after a breakup. The complicated thing about a breakup is that you never know whether or not you’ve made the right decision.
If you’re the dumper, then you’re probably wondering if you made the right decision. And if you’re on the opposite side, then your heart is torn into a million pieces and you’re trying to figure out what the hell happened and how your bond broke so easily.
Either way, handling things after a breakup is a complex playing field. That’s why you should consider the following things after dumping your girlfriend.
1. Keep your channels of communication open
To some people, following your ex on Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media app is a big red flag. Not many people decide to keep the channel of communication open after breaking up.
Truthfully, I’m not a big fan of it either, but there are some benefits of doing it.
When you’re sure that you still have special feelings for your ex-girlfriend after you broke up with her, then it’s for the best that you don’t delete her from your social media profiles.
Don’t be that guy who blocks her an hour after breaking up with her. That’ll only show her how much of an immature douche you actually are.
Of course, there’s always the possibility that she will block you or won’t be in any mood to talk to you yet. But when her emotions settle down a bit, that ability to re-connect and contact her may lead to some progress.
After all, things may not be as bad as you think. Maybe being apart from each other and having that extra space is just the right medicine for you two?
You’ll need to take some time to figure out what you actually want from your life. It’s up to you whether or not you want to pursue her again.
So, why shouldn’t you keep your options open? The no-contact rule (which we’ll get into later) isn’t the only tactic that you can use to draw her attention, even though it’s a very effective strategy.
I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t go no-contact. Depending on your circumstances, you may need to take a different approach. There are other ways you can handle the post-breakup period without completely shutting off all communication between you two.
2. Focus on becoming better and let her see that you’re maturing
If your intention is to get her back, then you’ll have to make her believe in you again. And one way to do that is to work toward becoming a better man and evolving with each new day.
I’m sure that if you ask her now if there’s something that she’d change about you, she’d have many things to say, especially about the way you treated her in the relationship.
And let’s be honest, no relationship is perfect. You might have been the one who initiated the breakup, but she may have been thinking about it too.
You never truly know what’s going on inside a woman’s mind. That’s why you need to be careful not to make a wrong move because you may lose her forever if you do.
Take some time out to focus on yourself.
Those things she told you that you have to change? Improve them. Be a mature man who has a goal in mind, who knows what he wants, and won’t stop at anything until he achieves it.
You want her to see that you’ve evolved and that you can be trusted again so that she becomes attracted to you even more than when she first met you.
And by showing her from afar that you’re a real man who knows how to back up his words with action, you’ll only increase your chances of getting back together with her.
I know what you’re thinking “I broke up with my girlfriend, but I miss her like crazy.“ But the worst mistake you can make is to go out partying all night and flirting with every girl in sight. You’ll only dig yourself a deeper hole and she’ll resent you for it.
3. Don’t rush things
It’s quite possible that you regret breaking up with your girlfriend weeks after you’ve done it. When you find yourself in a situation like that, you can’t think clearly, and instead listen to your heart.
So, what does your heart say? Well, it says that you need to get back to her as soon as possible because you can’t take the pain anymore. You need her!
In those moments, you may come under the temptation and spell to immediately rush back and ask her to forgive you for everything you’ve done.
You may get lucky that she thinks the same way and you two find a common ground and get back together. But the more likely scenario is it backfires on you and she maintains you two don’t have a future together.
More often than not, it’s a poor idea to try to restart a relationship on a foundation of lingering sorrow and resentment.
I understand that if you’re reading this, you’ve come to realize that you made a big mistake. Sometimes we don’t appreciate how much someone has penetrated our hearts until they’re gone.
But there’s always a probability that reconciling is the farthest thing from her mind. Perhaps she’s started dating again or blocked you from her life.
And these awful feelings of wanting her at all costs, combined with the realization that she’s unreachable, can sure cause a man to do desperate and unimaginable things.
Certainly, the more you present yourself as needy or pushy, the more she’ll distance herself from you. That’s why you need to take a different approach and be patient.
Don’t rush things. Otherwise, it won’t end well for you.
4. Evaluate if you want to give your love another chance
There are times when we do things hastily without even thinking about the consequences of our actions. And just maybe you broke up with your girlfriend because she made you angry, but now that you’ve cooled down, you want her back.
If you realize that you made a rash decision without considering the results, and are now dealing with self-doubt, then it’s time for you to take a step back and figure out what you really want from her.
The last thing that she wants is a guy who plays mind games with her and can’t make up his mind about what his end goal is.
And going down that path can do both of you more harm than good.
As I said before, don’t rush into making any decisions before confronting your own emotions and determining if she’s worth your time and effort.
Perhaps you need to accept that it’s really over between you two and that your life views aren’t simply aligned. In that case, the sooner you acknowledge that you aren’t in a relationship anymore for a reason, the sooner you can start your healing process.
5. If necessary, apply the no-contact rule
In order for her to realize how much you’ve changed and be attracted to you again, you may need to pull back a little and give her some space. Even though you miss her, she still has some bad memories about you breaking up with her.
So, if you notice that she’s further pulling away from you and is fed up with both the good and bad things in the relationship, then you both need to turn over a new leaf.
This is a problem that’s not easily fixable, so your best solution would be to implement a shortened form of the no-contact rule.
Then again, if you see that the shortened version isn’t working, it may be more appropriate to go with the longer, traditional no-contact period of 30 days. It all depends on the circumstances of your situation.
Remember, you let her down, so you need to regain her trust. And let’s address the elephant in the room and be honest here: Getting back with you may be the last thing she wants right now.
You’re probably better off giving her some space and letting her emotions settle down before you make a move.
The no-contact rule is perfect in these kinds of situations because it comes in all shapes and forms. You can adapt it however you want, and having that space can be beneficial for the both of you.
But as I said before, the last thing you should do is rush right back into the relationship. Her trust in you is fractured and it will take some time before it’ll mend.
6. Be careful of reconciling too quickly
Even if you’re tempted to jump right back to where you two left off, remember that it takes time to process and accept the post-breakup feelings.
What I mean by this is even though your girlfriend really wants you back and you want her too, there’s a good chance that she hasn’t yet properly dealt with her own emotions and thoughts.
It could be that she still bears some resentment toward you for leaving her in the first place. There’s also a chance that her friends and family are telling her all sorts of things that are further clouding her mind and making her doubt your loyalty.
If these kinds of things aren’t properly dealt with, they’ll emerge later in your relationship and sabotage both of your efforts to reignite the spark you once had.
Rushing back into a relationship is never a good idea. So, if you’re getting back together, be sure that it is for the right reasons and you’re not making any rash decisions.
Allow yourself and her to completely heal and deal with those negative emotions. And when you do finally get back together, your bond will be stronger than it was before.
7. Maybe she isn’t single anymore?
If you’re wondering whether or not your girlfriend is over you, then ask yourself this: Has she started dating already? Or is she still getting over your breakup?
If she’s in a new relationship or perhaps started dating again, then you can be almost certain she’s moved on.
I know that this is something you don’t want to hear and it can certainly evoke feelings of jealousy, but you have to be prepared for any scenario at this point.
You have to respect her no matter what, because she had every right to move on from you. You were the one who broke up with her, remember?
Truth be told, not one relationship is the same. So it is possible that she still has feelings for you and is using another guy as a means to an end – to forget you.
I hear you: You broke up with your girlfriend yet still miss her. And you don’t want her to date other guys.
I know that this is something you don’t want to even think about, but if it’s working great for her and she’s all over her new boyfriend, then the chances of you two getting back together are pretty slim.
I broke up with my girlfriend, but I miss her. How do I get her back?
So you broke up with your girlfriend and now you’re missing her and wondering how on earth you can get her to like you again.
There’s no easy answer to this. There’s no single thing you can do and expect her to come running back into your arms.
Instead, you should devise a plan and stick with it. That’s why I’m going to mention a couple of things you can and can’t do to get your ex-girlfriend back.
1. Don’t drunk dial her
I know what you’re thinking – everyone is guilty of it and we’ve all been there.
You’re sitting alone at the bar, drunk as hell, and the only thing that crosses your mind is how much you miss her.
So, you think that perhaps you should just pick up your phone and tell her how you made a huge mistake and that you want her back. That’ll surely work, you think.
But you’re wrong. Texting your ex-girlfriend while you’re drunk is a bad idea. Always.
I understand how you’re feeling, trust me. I know that you’re burning to hear her voice again, but nothing good will come out of texting or calling her smashed at 2 am.
What you’re actually doing is giving her all of the power and putting her in the ideal position to reject you.
On top of that, drunk texting or dialing proves to her that you’re needy and desperate. And in all honesty, women don’t want a needy man. They want a mature, strong, and confident man who can control himself.
2. Let her remember the good times
The goal of the no-contact rule isn’t just to give each other space to think about what you really want. It’s also an opportunity to look back fondly on the times that you spent together.
Usually, when people think back on their past relationships, they remember the good times and forget the bad ones. And that’s exactly what you need her to do.
One day she’ll wake up and realize how good of a boyfriend you actually were. That’s when she’ll finally let go of the anger she feels toward you and forget about the pain of you breaking up with her.
So, give her the space to move on past anger and start remembering the good times.
3. Don’t be a doormat
“I broke up with my girlfriend, but I miss and need her badly, I’ll do anything to get her back.”
If this thought has crossed your mind, then you need to take a different approach. Even though you miss her, you can’t take her back at any cost.
Don’t be so focused on winning her back that you lose sight of what you really want and need in the first place.
You can’t agree to whatever she says and sacrifice the things that are important to you. No person is worth dismissing your standards, values, or dreams to get back together with them.
Women don’t want a doormat for a boyfriend. If you comply with every single request, you’re going to lose her respect for you, and your self-respect will go down the drain, too.
4. Be her friend first
I know what you’re thinking: “I don’t know why I ever broke up with my girlfriend, I miss her. She’s the only woman I ever truly loved.”
I know how you’re feeling right now, but you need to slow down a bit. The way you’ll get her back is to start off by reminding her of the person you are. Show her that you’ve changed and what kind of a person you’ll be in the future.
When you finally initiate contact and start talking, the best way to attract her is to keep it casual and friendly. Don’t harass her with your own feelings, but instead, focus your attention on her.
Be a good listener and see how well she’ll respond. If she continues talking to you, then you can take the next step and ask her to meet up with you so you can start to sort things out together.
