Think aloud
Love can be complicated sometimes, especially when you’re dating a partner who has an avoidant attachment style. He distances himself from you, but you want him back, so how to make an avoidant miss you?
When we first meet someone, we don’t notice whether they have any commitment issues. Even if they have problems with intimacy and privacy, one thing is certain; they can’t avoid love.
They can certainly try, but love is a universal emotion that every one of us is capable of feeling. It can’t be controlled, it’s innate and no matter how hard we try to avoid it, we simply can’t.
It might seem to you at first that your avoidant partner is cold, but he’s just like you. He’s a human being with feelings too.
You have to be very patient with him, as his fear of commitment is far greater than the feelings he has for you.
At the end of the day, he has feelings and that’s what’s important. You just have to give him a slight push so that his feelings for you conquer his fear of commitment.
Now that you know this, you’re wondering how to make an avoidant miss you and want you badly, right?
After all, your feelings for him haven’t changed. However, you can’t put up with this from him for too long as it will take a toll on your well-being.
Before I answer the above-mentioned question of how to make him miss you, you first have to understand what attachment theory is and you need to know the difference between various attachment styles.
What is attachment theory and what are some of the attachment styles?
Essentially, attachment theory is the emotional bond that two people share.
It’s usually related to a long-term relationship, but it can also relate to the bond between a child and a parent.
In addition to that, an attachment style is basically how we attach ourself to the people who are closest to our heart.
It’s the bond that we create with those people we love.
However, the way we attach ourself to them will greatly affect our relationship with them.
It’s important to know and understand how these different attachment styles can prove to be beneficial to your love life.
Anxious attachment style
According to several scientific papers, people with this attachment style have a hard time living without their partner.
They see them as their ‘better half’ and are often anxious when they think about being left alone.
Usually, they have a negative self-image, while conversely, they have positive views of others.
Fearful-Avoidant attachment style
People with a fearful attachment style usually see their relationship as the source of both fear and desire.
On the one hand, they yearn for closeness and intimacy. On the other, they have trouble trusting and depending on their partner.
They have a tough time controlling their emotions and usually tend to avoid getting close to someone because they fear getting hurt by them.
Avoidant/Dismissive attachment style
These types of people see themselves as ‘lone wolves’. They think they’re independent and strong, and can survive without relying on anyone.
They have high self-esteem, so hold a positive view of themselves. Also, they believe they don’t have to be in a relationship to feel complete.
It’s not necessary for them to depend on others, as they find their happiness within themselves.
They avoid getting too close to someone and they also hide their feelings when faced with a potentially emotion-packed situation.
Secure attachment style
With this type of attachment style, the person is comfortable with sharing their feelings with their partner.
They aren’t afraid of being in a romantic relationship.
Their relationships are based on honesty, good communication, and tolerance.
It may seem difficult to completely understand these various attachment styles, but you should know about them because they affect our lives in so many different ways.
Now we have that covered, let’s take a closer look at how to make an avoidant miss you.
Are there any ways in which you can make a person miss you?
It’s very difficult to change someone’s feelings about you, but remember, your goal is to make him miss you and not to love you.
Sometimes we can’t accept the simple truth that someone isn’t right for us.
However, we must do that because if we don’t, we’re denying ourself the opportunity to meet the right one.
However, if your guy is an avoidant who suddenly became distant, then you can make him miss you with these proven techniques that will most likely help you.
1. Keep your distance and don’t chase him at any cost
It’s pretty common to chase after the love of your life with whom you share a deep emotional connection.
However, that’s something that you should never do!
This should always be reserved for guys. They enjoy the thrill of the chase and it’s unnatural for a woman to go after a man.
The truth is that avoidants like to be left alone with their own thoughts and emotions.
Usually, they think that no one understands them and that no one will.
This is why they want to be left alone to take some time to process their own feelings.
On top of that, they’re emotionally avoidant and avoid intimacy, which means that they’ll do anything they can to distance themselves whenever they see that the relationship is getting more serious.
Usually, they become afraid once they know that their partner is ready to take their romantic relationship to the next level.
Be persistent in your intention and don’t chase him; let him be.
He’ll likely come back to you – you just have to be patient and he’ll come back, begging you to give him another shot.
At the end of the day, he was your choice. No one forced you to choose him and to love him; your heart chose him.
No matter how much it hurts you to see him alone or scared, you have to think with your mind and not listen to your heart now.
He has real intimacy issues and you have to be patient for him to open up to you, so you can talk and find a solution together.
But that’ll only happen if you don’t chase him.
You can tell him that it hurts you to see him suffering and that you’re prepared to go to counseling if you have to.
The important thing is that you are there for him even when he wants to be alone.
Still, he needs to feel your presence (though I don’t mean physical presence).
Sometimes you’ll hit rock bottom with him, as he might try to push you away, but stay strong and be persistent.
Be reasonable with him and your emotional bond will eventually get stronger.
If he wants to be alone, then leave him be. Don’t try to suffocate him with long conversations or arguments.
Show him that you’re an understanding girlfriend and that you know how he feels. When he feels ready, he’ll open up to you and talk about his mental state.
2. Take a short break from social media
Have you asked yourself why he suddenly became avoidant?
One of the reasons why he became cold could be because he felt pressured by your social media posts.
This can be true if you’re very active on your social media profiles and you constantly ask him to take a photo with you every time you go out on a date.
Avoidant people usually have a shy personality and they don’t want everyone to know everything about them.
Have you ever thought that maybe he doesn’t like people constantly commenting on photos of him?
You have to remember that he doesn’t tend to openly share what he thinks, which is why he’ll never tell you that.
Additionally, he doesn’t want to reveal too much about your relationship to the public.
Instead, he likes to keep your relationship private and off social media.
So, you’re still wondering how to make an avoidant miss you. It’s simple actually. You have to take a break from all of your activities on social media.
Why? Because he’ll become curious as to why you did and you’ll make him wonder what you’re doing and where you are.
It may be that he already knows your daily routine and knows where you’re going to be even if he distances himself from you.
It’s for the best not to share any photos or locations on your social media profiles right now.
He’ll likely regret leaving you, but not knowing where you are or with whom will force him to contact you first.
3. You’ll win him over by keeping him waiting
Are you home alone, wondering where he is and what he’s doing? Why did he distance himself from you and why did he leave?
You’ve tried to find ways on how to make an avoidant miss you, but you couldn’t find any.
Well, if he pushed you away and now you don’t know what to do, then you should definitely try to play the waiting game; after all, your only choice is to wait.
Try to anticipate his next move and wait until he makes it.
His heart already belongs to you, there’s no doubt about it.
The thing is, he’s aware of that too, so once he sees that you’re not texting or calling him, he’ll be frightened he could lose you for good.
Then you’ll hear your phone ring and it will be him calling you. You shouldn’t sit alone at home waiting for him to call you all day long, though.
Remember, one of the rules for a healthy relationship is to have a life beside him.
You can enjoy your free time and not worry about where he is or with whom, you know that, right?
Be patient and win at the waiting game. Once you keep your composure and resist the urge to call or text him, he’ll start to miss you.
While you’re waiting for him to contact you, use that time to enjoy yourself and live life to the fullest, and find ways to subtly show him you’re having a wonderful time without him.
He’ll start to miss you because he knows he has feelings for you, but he isn’t quite ready yet.
Just wait for him to text or call you first and he’ll regret pulling away from you.
4. Bring your A-game
Never forget that you’re gorgeous and wonderful the way you are.
You don’t need any make-up to look more beautiful, but if you don’t make an effort, you’re not going to make him miss you, darling.
I’m sorry to be the one to tell you that, but he needs to see what he’s missing out on.
Bring your A-game the next time you decide to meet up with him and make him regret leaving you.
Put on your nicest dress, wear some high heels, and he’ll start to miss you.
The truth is that men are visual creatures so you have to make sure that he’s going to like what he sees the next time he decides to see you.
So, you’re wondering how to make an avoidant miss you?
Go to the hair salon and treat yourself to a new haircut, buy a new dress or heels, and do anything that you think might help you get his attention.
Try to remember the things he said looked flawless on you and wear them.
And if you don’t remember, no worries, as you can always have a complete makeover and make him fall in love with you all over again.
Once you’ve done that, you’ll feel great about yourself, as well as look stunning.
He’ll see you as a challenge and he’ll start to chase you like he did the first time you met.
You’ll be more attractive to him than ever.
He’ll have a hard time forgetting about you and the image of you will stick in his head until the next time you two meet.
Eventually, he’ll start missing you and he’ll want to be closer to you. He’ll realize that he made a mistake and beg you for another shot.
5. Be mysterious
When you think about the rules of a healthy relationship, open communication is definitely one of the ingredients you need to have if you want to succeed.
However, that doesn’t mean that your partner needs to know everything about you, every secret that you have, every thought, and so on.
Now that you’re wondering how to make an avoidant miss you, the simple answer would be to always leave an amount of mystery.
Some things you should definitely keep to yourself and your partner doesn’t have to know about them.
That doesn’t mean that you should lie to him when he asks you about those things, but you should definitely keep a little mystery if you don’t want your relationship to lose its spark.
If you add a little spice to your relationship, your avoidant partner will miss you and he’ll be interested in you again.
You can always pretend to be hard to get, as he’ll appreciate you more.
On top of that, that mystery will push him to want to spend some quality time with you, to try to find out the mysteries you’ve been hiding from him.
Know when to stop with the games and don’t push it too far, however, or you might lose him for good.
Try to keep it interesting and don’t lose your focus on your end goal, which is to make an avoidant miss you.
6. Be patient, don’t rush him
The worst thing you can do if you want to make an avoidant partner miss you is rush him.
Even if it’s tough for you to be away from him, gather the courage and say no to sending that text message.
Give him some space and time apart from you. He needs to realize how magnificent and unique you are.
Once you’re not there every time he needs you, he’ll figure out that his life was far better when you were with him.
Nevertheless, accept his decision and respect it, no matter what he says to you.
Try not to bother him with the same questions over and over again, like: “Do you miss me?” or, “Do you think about me?” If you do that, it’ll push him even further from you.
Once he feels he’s ready to open up to you, he’ll call or text you and tell you that he needs to talk to you.
Always keep in mind that the person you’re dating has commitment issues.
A man who’s afraid of intimacy has a tough time figuring out what he wants.
If you rush him, he’ll pull back every time. Why?
Because he’s afraid that your relationship might become more serious and he’s not ready for that yet.
It’s not like he’s going to stay like that forever. People do change, they evolve and grow as time passes.
When he’s ready to talk, try to keep your cool and suggest to him that he needs to change some things about himself.
However, it’s important that you do that slowly and without pressuring him. It takes a lot of patience and calmness to keep an avoidant man.
7. Use positive body language
Once you get to the stage where you’re meeting up with him, try to have a positive attitude and let your body speak for itself.
You can use positive body language to your advantage to make an avoidant person miss you.
You can give him certain signs through your body language so that he knows you’re doing great by yourself and that you’re totally happy even though he’s not around you.
Stay calm and relaxed and try not to make any gestures that will show him that you’re nervous in any way.
Keep your arms relaxed and don’t make too many gestures with your hands.
This will help your avoidant partner miss you and he’ll gradually open up and share his problems with you.
8. Give him as much space as he needs
I can’t stress enough the importance of space when it comes to making an avoidant person miss you.
In this article, I already mentioned a couple of times that you have to give him space.
Honestly, having space where he can think on his own, without anyone pressuring him, is the most important thing for an avoidant partner.
If he says that he needs this, you shouldn’t make a fuss about it.
Don’t start imagining things, such as thinking that he has another girlfriend or that he stopped loving you.
It’s not like that at all. He doesn’t want to date other women and he’s sure about his feelings for you and still loves you.
This guy asks for some space because he fears that your relationship might be going too fast and getting more serious.
He already realized that he had fallen for you even though he’s afraid of committing to you.
You have to give him as much space as he needs and respect everything he asks from you.
After all, you’ll a reasonable woman, and we’ve all been there when we needed some time alone for ourself.
9. Give his ego a boost
At the beginning of the article, I mentioned how one of the attachment styles is connected to people having low self-esteem.
One of the reasons why he asks you to give him some space might be just that.
He thinks that you’re better than him and that he doesn’t deserve you at all, which is why he distances himself.
You can help him overcome this by boosting his ego a bit, as you’ll make him insanely attracted to you.
Say that he’s the only man for you and that you truly love him and no one else, and compliment his intelligence, good looks, or the way he treats you.
Eventually, he’ll open up and start to miss you.
It doesn’t matter which you choose, just let him know that he’s doing a good job and that he doesn’t have to worry about you.
He’ll remember how you were his biggest support and he’ll start to miss you.
After all, everyone likes to be complimented or praised for something they’ve done.
10. Patience is the key to success
As I mentioned, don’t sit at home waiting for him to reply to your messages or calls.
Go out and enjoy your life to the fullest and show him that you can live without him.
If you want to make him miss you, you have to be aware that it’s not going to be an easy job. It’s never easy being the SO of an avoidant person.
However, that person is our choice of partner. We choose them and that’s why we have to deal with the consequences alone.
