When your heart starts breaking apart, you genuinely ask yourself how to get over someone you love.
You’re going through a hard time right now. There’s nothing that can cheer you up, or that can give you a reason to believe in a better future.
Everything seems so dull and heartbreaking. So, after a while, you genuinely start to despise this type of living. You don’t want to be stuck in this loop of thoughts because it’s getting you nowhere.
How to get over someone you love? How to stop thinking about him? How to move on with your life?
All of these questions can be answered, but unfortunately, your friends may not really hold the best advice for you. They just tell you to get over it or to get it together. They mean well, but in the long run, those sentences don’t mean much.
I’m not going to lie to you. Getting over someone you love is an extremely hard task, but you are capable of doing hard things.
You can get over him in a very short period of time if you really give it everything you’ve got. You don’t have to spend your entire life wondering if these feelings will pass.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your ex, or if it’s a situationship that you need to leave behind. Either way, the path will be rocky, but we can manage.
In this article, I’ll give you every piece of advice that I have accumulated. These things helped me and so many other women get out of this rut.
How to get over someone you love? 17 of the best advice that will work wonders
1. Be blunt about your situation
You’re here to understand how to get over someone you love. It’s definitely not easy, but the first step you need to take is to be blunt about the entire situation.
When you’re getting over an ex, you need to reflect on what actually happened. If you’re getting over a cheater, then you need to remember that this man wasn’t in love with you at all.
Look back at your relationship and genuinely ask yourself: Is that the best that love can give you?
Is that genuinely what you thought a healthy relationship was like? Or would you have changed a million things just to make it bearable? Is this the man who would be a great father to your future children?
When you look at your relationship with honesty and bluntness, you’ll realize that love has so much more to offer. It’s not about perfection, but it’s about the romance, understanding, and respect within a relationship.
If you always had to beg for the bare minimum, then it wasn’t love. You were trying to fix something that can’t be fixed and you shouldn’t have to.
2. Block him on everything
Okay, I get it. When you asked me to tell you how to get over someone you love, you didn’t actually want to take these radical steps.
Nonetheless, do it. Do it right now. Don’t think about it too much, just take your phone, and block him!
This can seem quite scary at first. You feel like you’re really over everything and you don’t know if you’re ready for that. However, this is genuinely the best thing you can do for yourself.
Looking at him and seeing what he’s up to isn’t going to magically make him a good person. Do you understand me? Take your phone and block him. Now!
It’s just like ripping off a band-aid. You have to do it fast because that way you have no time to actually think about it. Once it’s done, you’ll feel relieved – I can promise you that much.
This was the best thing I did for myself after breaking up and moving on from my toxic relationship. It had to be done because otherwise I would’ve been stuck in a continuous loop of trying to see what he’s up to. It would’ve gotten me nowhere. So, please, just block him!
3. Get rid of all the things that remind you of him
Another thing that you genuinely weren’t ready to hear. Which I understand. Those things that you have lying around in your apartment remind you of a happier time.
They’re genuine reminders of those good moments when you weren’t fighting, you weren’t trying to avoid conflicts, so you just enjoyed each other’s company. That’s why it’s so important to get rid of everything.
This may seem brutal, but it’s some of the best advice out there on how to fall out of love.
I’m going to be blunt once more, but you won’t be able to move on if you keep those things. The teddy bears, hoodies, little trinkets, and the photos, will deepen the wound in your heart each time you see them.
Although you don’t want to just throw everything away, you can at least put everything into little boxes and keep it out of your sight. But, if you’re about to do that, promise me that you won’t dig them up to look at them. You don’t need to do that!
4. Seek therapy
At this point, you’re probably wondering, “When will this woman stop punching me in the feels?”
Well, you asked me for help, right? Right about now is the right time to find a professional to simply hold your hand through this process.
Therapy has a bad rep, but in this modern day and age, people are more and more accepting of it. You’re not crazy just because you want to find someone to facilitate the thoughts in your head. If anything, you’re more normal than the rest of the world.
When someone doesn’t care about your feelings, you feel invalidated. You want to believe that they were a good human being, but they gaslit you into oblivion. There’s so much unprocessed trauma that you have to deal with now, but you can’t do that on your own.
By going to therapy, you’ll be able to see things from a different perspective. If it’s too expensive for you, you genuinely have to reconsider your priorities. Investing in a good therapist is just like investing in a better future.
5. Rely on your friends and family
It’s not easy asking for help. You don’t want to be a burden to people, and you don’t want to ask them a million times, “Why doesn’t he love me?!”
However, let’s look at things from another perspective. If your friends or a family member were in this same situation, wouldn’t you want to be there for them? Wouldn’t you want to reassure them and tell them that everything is going to be okay?
I know that it’s scary. Trust me, once you get into the mindset where you believe that one will ever love you, it’s hard to believe that your friends and family want to be around.
Nonetheless, just like I said before, I’ll say it again: you can’t do this on your own! I know that your boss woman, I-don’t-need-anyone way of thinking is telling you that you can do this, you have to understand that you don’t have to.
You can be strong and still ask for help.
Go out with your girls, take a trip somewhere where you always wanted to go and find ways to entertain yourself while being surrounded by amazing people.
Also, if you have a supportive family, you need to tell them. Once you tell them everything that you went through, you won’t even think about going back to him. They’ll resent him, and that’s the best thing that can happen to you right now.
6. Spend more time on yourself
Spending time on yourself isn’t the same as being alone. At this point, when you’re falling out of love or feeling depressed, you have to make sure that you take good care of yourself.
There are so many emotions involved in this process, and you can’t just expect yourself to handle things with grace all the time.
So, what you need to do is spend more time on yourself while you’re figuring out how to get over someone you love.
This means that you’ll take care of your body, mind, and soul. Take care of your hygiene, go to the gym, take care of your space, and meditate!
You don’t have to do all of these things all the time. At the very least, make sure that you don’t go out of the house looking like a complete wreck.
I can promise you that no one will feel bad about you when you show the world that you’re not doing well. They’ll pity you, and they’ll think that you’re pathetic. So, show the world that you’re none of those things!
7. Try out new things
While he’s sitting at home and wondering, “Oh dear lord, why did my girlfriend leave me?” you should be out there trying out new things.
This is something that I found to be the most efficient. It’s how I got out of a depressive slump after ending my long-term relationship. I started rock climbing, and rollerblading, I even started dancing on aerial silks and the aerial hoop.
If sports are not your thing, and you’re more of a person who likes the arts, then go and try out something new! See if there are any painting, pottering, or even sewing classes in your area.
You can do so many different things even during this depressive state that you’re in. You’ll be more fulfilled, and you won’t even remember why you were sad in the first place.
I know that it’s hard to get out of bed right now, but do it! Do it for yourself. Otherwise, you’ll forever be stuck in this constant loop of miserable thoughts.
8. Accept the importance of the relationship
How are you supposed to get over someone you love when you have to appreciate the relationship? That just sounds like I’m messing with you. But, I’m not. I promise.
If anything, I believe that this is one of those things that will help you the most. Knowing that it wasn’t wasted time is a perfect way to appreciate the relationship.
Yes, your heart is broken. However, leaving a long-term relationship also means that you’re a whole experience smarter. You learned a lot about yourself and about romance.
You can’t deny the fact that some of those lessons are valuable.
I would even recommend you try to write those lessons down so that you can go back to them whenever you need a reminder of why you went through that experience.
9. Define what love means to you
The easiest way to answer the question of how to get over someone you love is to define what love actually means to you.
What is love? How do you want to be loved? What do you consider to be compassion and respect?
All those things are crucial for a healthy relationship, and you can’t just expect yourself to know what those things are if you haven’t thought about them. Once you know what you do and don’t want in a loving relationship, you’ll know when to walk away.
This will also help you understand that your past relationship didn’t meet those requirements. You weren’t loved properly, and that’s not the love that you deserve.
That wasn’t love. Period.
10. Perform a ritual to let him go
This may sound a little bit silly, but it’s very symbolic and it works wonders. Performing a ritual to let someone go will cut those emotional and mental ties you still have to them.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that all of your memories with this person will become blocked out of your brain. No.
It’s just a means to an end.
For example, you can practice a candle cord-cutting ritual, you can bury all of his things somewhere in the forest, and you can write a letter to him and set it on fire.
There are so many rituals that will help you let go of him. All you have to do is find the right one for yourself.
11. Let yourself feel deeply
Emotions are so freaking exhausting. You just want to bundle yourself up and cry, but you’re also so angry that you can’t seem to tear up at all.
Well, emotions are there to be felt. If you keep hiding them away, then you’ll only end up doing more harm than good.
By releasing your emotions, through crying and other healthy outlets, you’re healing yourself. Keeping everything hidden will make your body react in the stupidest ways possible.
You’ll lash out at your family members for no reason. You’ll start crying at the most inappropriate times.
So, allow yourself to feel your emotions deeply. You’re blessed with a sensitive heart, and you have a right to your emotions. So, find the best ways to feel them.
12. Anger isn’t such a bad thing
You probably didn’t think that I’d say that while we’re talking about how to get over someone you love. People usually like to demonize anger, and they say that it’s a “bad” emotion.
In actuality, there’s nothing bad about it. Anger is your best friend.
Anger exists in moments when something around you that’s happening is crossing your boundaries. Your anger is telling you to walk away from that situation or to show that you need something to change.
Once you experience anger in a way that’s so healing, you’ll know what I’m talking about. Your anger is keeping you from going back to that piece of…
Anywho.
I would highly recommend that you find healthy ways to release that anger of yours. You’ll know what freedom feels like once you experience that.
13. Don’t jump into another relationship
The absolute WORST thing that you can do right now is jump into a new relationship. Stop right there! You’re not ready. I can guarantee you that much!
Going into another relationship will only make you numb to the first situation. You won’t be able to heal properly, and you’ll just get another person into your mess.
You don’t have to break someone else’s heart just to prove a point. Believe me, you won’t be able to heal by damaging someone else emotionally and mentally.
You’re not prepared to love someone. Even if you’re sure about it, please take some time for yourself. Stay single, because this is the only way you’ll be able to heal all of those inner wounds.
14. Keep a journal
How about you write your journey down?
Keep a journal that will remind you of your progress. You’ll be able to see where you started and how well your recovery is going.
Keeping things in your brain will genuinely make you lose your mind. You have to put some of those thoughts down on paper and see what it means to clear your mind.
Once you start seeing all the benefits, you’ll also start to slowly let go of him and the relationship that you had.
15. Stop mentioning him or going to places where you may see him
When you’re this obsessed over your ex, you have to stop seeing him altogether. You need to stop giving him a reason to hurt you over and over again.
So, the best way to do that is to completely stop mentioning him. Don’t even bother saying his name to your friends and family!
Of course, you can talk about him in therapy, but you shouldn’t mention him outside of that.
What you also have to do is find new spots to hang out in. Don’t just go back to the bar where you know that you’ll run into him.
Because that’s when you don’t have a right to complain about how he hurt you or how you’re still suffering. You’re making yourself go through those emotions over and over again.
16. Find the beauty in life again
You’ve been wondering how to get over someone you love for a reason: you want to fall in love with life again!
You’re so confused as to why life seems gray and dull lately when all you’ve done is what people told you. Everyone was telling you that loving someone is the most beautiful thing in the world. But, love was what broke you into pieces.
Now, you have to gather all of your strength to fall in love with life again. You want to see the beauty in every day just like you did before.
All the things that I’ve mentioned before will help you achieve exactly that.
Once you start going out with your friends again, talking to your family, and doing the things that you love the most, you’ll be able to see the beauty in living again.
Right now, it’s clouded. You only think about him and what he made you go through – but there’s so much more to this wonderful world than that. You just have to have faith.
The Universe put you on this Earth to show you all of its wonders, and not to suffer.
Remind yourself every time you smile or laugh that you’ve come far. Remind yourself when you’re in nature that this is what life’s all about. Even when you hear a sad song, be grateful for the emotions that you’re experiencing.
17. Understand that it will take time
Last, but definitely not least, you have to understand that it will take time. You can’t rush yourself into recovery.
You can’t just magically become a master at getting over someone you love. It’s a skill that you have to learn and I can promise you that it doesn’t get easier with every experience.
If anything, it’s always the same.
Your heart will skip a beat whenever you see him, you may even fall into a raging fit of panic. But that’s okay. Take your time.
It’ll pass. Please don’t give up!
