The inevitable question we’ve all asked ourselves at least once: How long does infatuation last?
It’s so easy to become infatuated with someone and never be able to recognize it for what it really is.
When you meet someone new, you’re absolutely smitten with them. They seem like your perfect match and everything they do seems just perfect.
So why would infatuation be a bad thing if we only see the best in people?
Moreover, if being infatuated isn’t the same thing as being in love, then how long does infatuation last? And if love is forever, can infatuation last just as long?
Questions like these are quite easy to understand and answer.
You might have met someone to your liking and now you’re not really sure if you’re infatuated by them or actually falling in love with them.
So what’s really happening?
Infatuation is a short-lived passion and admiration for someone. This feeling is so intense that it knocks you right out of your shoes.
You want to call this person yours and you’re absolutely oblivious to every single red flag they leave in their wake.
In this article, we’ll talk about the differences between love and infatuation, how long infatuation lasts, as well as the signs you’re actually infatuated with him and not really in love with him.
It’ll help you come to your senses easier and you’ll be able to understand where you stand in this relationship much better.
Simply because, in the long run, infatuation can be extremely dangerous.
The differences between true love and infatuation
This infatuation is like a quick fantasy. You actually don’t know anything about this person when you’re infatuated with them.
Infatuation doesn’t require you to think a lot about the person. You don’t even consider the differences between the two of you.
All you do know is that you have this thirst for them and this insatiable need to have them around.
At this point, you’re already fantasizing about your future together.
You’re imagining the house you’ll live in, how handsome your kids are gonna be, and so on.
You really do believe that things are going to work out in the long run for the both of you.
What you don’t consider is that infatuation doesn’t let you think of their bad traits. True love does.
When you’re in love with someone, you let yourself love them despite their little shortcomings.
However, love doesn’t stop you from talking about those flaws.
Love encourages you to work through these issues to forge a beautiful relationship.
Infatuation makes you scared to fight for the things that you believe in.
Most times, people who are infatuated with someone think of the person as absolutely perfect.
They even forget the fact that we’re all just mere humans.
So that right there is the biggest difference between love and infatuation.
Because love is freeing, while infatuation feels like a cage of your own foolishness.
What causes infatuation?
You meet a new guy and he immediately catches your eye.
You feel like you just might be able to fall in love with him just by the way he walks and talks.
You’re attracted to him like a magnet. You feel your entire body crave his closeness.
That happens because of the dopamine in your brain that creates a chemical reaction.
Actually, infatuation is caused by our own fantasies about love.
Everyone out there has an image of what love should feel and look like.
We have this insatiable need to love and be loved inside of us.
You, like everyone else, have this need, so whenever you see someone who remotely fits your standards, you fall into a spiral of daydreams.
When it comes to infatuation, more often than not, the physical appearance of someone is our main focus.
When you’re infatuated with someone, you’re devouring them with your eyes.
You see their style, the way they walk, and your sense of smell is flooded by their scent.
You want to call them yours by this insane desire you’re feeling.
How long does infatuation last?
Judgment and common sense have a time-out at this stage of a new relationship.
The time-span in which you might be infatuated by another person can vary from one person to another.
Oftentimes, it can continue for as much as six months.
But when questioning how long infatuation lasts, it’s different for all of us. Sometimes, it can last a day or two, other times, up to a few weeks.
On rare occasions, infatuation can last up to two years. It really always depends on the person.
In this period of time, you might want to listen to your friends and trust their judgment of your partner (or desired partner).
You’re infatuated by him and want him all for yourself, but it’s not really the healthiest relationship.
So this is just a pro tip.
When infatuation lasts longer than it needs to, you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship that you didn’t even know wasn’t for you.
This is the time span where the saying “Love is blind” comes from, so you have to trust the people around you and their judgment.
Because yours will be clouded for days, maybe even months, from these feelings that overwhelm you.
9 signs of infatuation
Now that we’ve covered what infatuation is, how long it lasts, and why it even happens, it’s time to figure out how to tell if you’re in love or just infatuated by someone.
More often than not, you’re left to wonder if you truly love this man you’re seeing.
Your friends might have been pointing out certain issues in your relationship or they might have even tried to get you to break up with him.
You still don’t understand what’s going on in your heart.
They’re saying that you’re infatuated with him and that you’re not thinking straight.
Even though your emotions for him feel genuine, you still want to know if what they’re saying is true.
So what are the signs that you’re infatuated with him? If you recognize any or all of these signs, then you’re definitely not in love with him.
1. You drop everything for him
It’s quite normal for us to drop everything to spend time with our new lover when we first start our relationship.
That is just another sign that you’re more infatuated with this person than you realize.
You thought that it was because you loved him so much that you placed him as your biggest priority. But we both know that’s not healthy.
You should never find yourself in a situation where you’re canceling all of your plans just to hang out with him.
Now, if it’s one thing if he’s sick or something – of course you’ll run to be there for him.
But it’s quite another if he’s perfectly fine and you’re canceling on everyone around you just to be with him.
I know it’s tempting. Your hormones are all over the place and you want to be with him every chance you can get.
But it’s not healthy at all and you shouldn’t put your priorities and friends aside like this.
When you’re truly in love with someone, you still have the need to maintain your platonic relationships and responsibilities.
However, infatuation doesn’t allow you to see anyone but him.
When considering how long infatuation can last, this stage, in particular, can last from a month to an entire year.
2. Everything he does is absolute perfection
When you get past the infatuation stage, you’re more than certain that your partner has many flaws.
You still love him and you’re ready to look past them all.
You love him with his imperfections, not despite them – that’s true, unconditional love.
When you’re infatuated by someone, you think of them as absolutely perfect. There’s nothing in this world that they can do wrong.
You know that they have some weaknesses, but they’re still perfect for having that weakness.
When you’re infatuated with someone, you think about how totally lucky you are to have someone like him in your life.
In your mind, he’s above you and you’re just so grateful that he’s choosing to spend time with you.
When you think like this, you’re actually putting him on a pedestal where no human can ever truly be.
You’re just as worthy and absolutely deserving of someone loving and caring.
So when you love someone, you understand your own position, you know that you’re enough and worthy, but infatuation doesn’t let you believe that.
3. You don’t have actual conversations
How much do you actually know about him? Are you more focused on flirting with him and kissing him that actually getting to know him?
Infatuation has a funny way of making you ignore any words unless they’re said in a flirty tone.
You only want to flirt with this man and even if you start talking about something serious, the conversation gets sidetracked quickly.
The feelings you’re experiencing are infatuation and pure desire. It has nothing to do with love, believe me.
You know that you love him when you want to know everything about him. Love makes you want to know all of his demons, all of his trauma.
Infatuation doesn’t care about those things. When you’re infatuated with someone, you feel like you don’t need all that information right now.
It’s like you reckon you’ll find it out later, and now you just have to enjoy yourself.
What you might not know is that the very moment you learn something about him you don’t want to know, or hear some information that bursts your little bubble, your emotions will disappear.
When you love someone, that doesn’t happen.
4. It’s moving too fast
How long does infatuation last when things move so fast?
Well, things are moving too fast for you to even comprehend them properly, so you end up spiraling into a relationship much faster than you intended to.
For example, when you’re infatuated with someone, it doesn’t seem odd to you that you’re kissing before he even took you out on a date properly.
It doesn’t bother you that you’re going home with him right away either.
You wouldn’t be doing these things if you were considering a serious relationship that’s filled with love.
You don’t take time to consider what you want from a relationship. He occupies your mind all the time.
When you’re falling in love with someone, you’re actually considering every possibility.
You don’t want to let them down or hurt them one day when you realize that they’re not the person you were looking for.
Infatuation makes you move in with him before you even remembered that you promised yourself you wouldn’t do that after your last failed relationship.
You simply become blinded by love. Things move so fast that you forget to take a moment and breathe.
5. You pretend to be someone you’re not
When you’re attracted to someone, you want to impress them.
That’s why you try to figure out the things that he finds attractive so that you can adapt to them.
He likes girls who wear heels, so now you’re wearing heals.
He doesn’t find fake nails attractive on a woman, so now you don’t wear them anymore.
You’ve adapted to his wants and needs to the point where you’ve lost yourself completely. You don’t even think of yourself the way you used to.
Now, when you see yourself, you only see all the things that he might dislike about you.
When you look at yourself, you see all those flaws because you want to be perfect for him.
That’s why you buy clothes that he might like on you instead of buying things that are your own taste.
You have lost yourself to this man to the point where you have stopped watching the shows you liked and stopped listening to the music you enjoyed.
Now, everything revolves around him.
You want to impress him with your knowledge about the things he enjoys, so now you’re consuming everything he recommended to you.
When you’re in love with someone, you don’t lose yourself like this.
You know that you’re more than enough and that he should love you for who you are.
He wouldn’t ask you to change if he loved you truly, and if you loved him enough, you’d voice your opinion and talk these things through.
Infatuation doesn’t let you see that side of the deal. It only makes you fear that if you aren’t to his standards, he might leave you.
6. You feel lonely
There will come a time when you will feel drained and borderline depressed.
Things won’t be looking good for you and you might not even be able to get out of bed at that point.
You’ll look around and that’s when you’ll realize just how lonely you are.
Your partner doesn’t even see that you’re struggling and he probably doesn’t even care to begin with.
So why are you still with him?
The “love” you feel for him should be able to overpower everything, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re doubting your relationship at this point.
You feel lonely because you don’t love him, you’re infatuated by him.
If you truly loved him, you’d be in his arms right now, telling him everything that’s been bugging you.
When you share an actual connection with someone that’s founded on love, you never feel lonely.
But when you’re infatuated with someone, they don’t know the real you.
You have masked yourself under layers that he likes and now don’t know how to let that part of you be shown.
You don’t even know how to approach him with your problems.
That’s pure infatuation. Because you would never love a man who was ignorant to your troubles.
7. You follow him blindly
When you love someone, you still keep your common sense. The love you feel for them doesn’t blind you, as is the case with infatuation.
Another sign of infatuation is when you follow him blindly.
This doesn’t just mean that you always walk right beside him or follow him around like a lost puppy.
It also means that you’ll do anything he asks of you.
You’re so scared to disappoint your partner that you don’t think twice about following his instructions. Whatever he wants, he gets.
Your brain and body work toward one goal and that is pleasing and impressing him.
That’s a very dangerous position to put yourself in because infatuation makes you break your own boundaries.
You stop caring that something doesn’t feel right to you. You stop thinking that it’s bad or that it makes you feel uncomfortable.
The only thing you do care about is that he’s impressed by you. You want to send him a message that no one would do this much for him.
It isn’t really something you should be proud of.
8. You become jealous and possessive
How long does infatuation last? Well obviously too long when you consider the fact that you become jealous at the smallest things.
He doesn’t reply to your text message fast enough and you’re already thinking about all the women he could be with right now.
You feel like it’s happening right in front of your eyes whenever a female bartender just as much as looks at him.
You’re infatuated by him because you can’t imagine someone else having him.
You’re the only one who’s allowed to be with him and in your head, that statement makes perfect sense.
You panic when you see him say hi to another girl.
He’s probably just shaking her hand or hugging her innocently, but you still feel like he’s betrayed you.
Infatuation can do that to a person.
Especially when you’re not really sure about his feelings for you and you’re looking for any sign that he’s not really as faithful to you as you thought he was.
When you’re in love, those emotions don’t feature.
You don’t get jealous because you love them and if someone else makes them happier, you’d let him go.
Also, if you love him, you also love yourself and you know that you don’t deserve that type of behavior.
Infatuation makes you hold all your anger and jealousy to yourself. When you love him, any time you’re suspicious of him, you’d talk to him.
9. He doesn’t leave your mind
Is this truly a sign of infatuation – surely it’s a sign of love? How long does infatuation last for us to believe that this is normal?
You know when you hear a new song for the first time and you go out of your way to play it again and again at every opportunity you get?
Or when you hear a song that you know and you’re constantly singing it, because it’s stuck in your head?
Yes, that’s exactly how it feels to think about him. He doesn’t leave your thoughts for one singular moment and he’s taking over your brain.
Sounds a little bit dramatic, but you know I’m right.
When you eat, sleep, breath, drink, he’s always there in the back of your mind. Your mind always seems to wander back to him no matter what.
This is a sign of infatuation. You’re obsessed with him.
You want him to always be around you and you’re always overanalyzing his every word or action.
When you’re in love with someone and you think of them, you don’t have these intrusive thoughts. No.
You’re actually able to have normal conversations with people and work through your day without thinking of the object of your love.
That’s what it means to be in a healthy and balanced relationship and not just being infatuated with him.
Is infatuation bad?
Some would argue that it is. We lose ourselves to the basic need to love someone and impress them with how absolutely happy we can make them.
However, infatuation isn’t a bad thing at all. Being infatuated by someone can lead to unimaginable love stories.
It’s a stage we all go through when we’re falling in love with someone.
The only difference is that some people get lost in the infatuation stage to the point where they abandon their own mind and soul for the sake of their partner.
That’s when infatuation becomes bad.
Until then, it’s a path to a happy ever after.