Do you feel like you’re falling out of love after infidelity? Since your partner cheated on you, have you started to realize that you no longer care about him the same way you used to?
Well, let me tell you that you’re not alone. The attraction you once felt can completely disappear when someone cheats on you. You may no longer imagine yourself growing old with this person.
Even though he used to be the only man you cared about, your feelings have now completely changed. The only emotion you feel is anger and you no longer see a reason why you should stay with him.
But then again you want to know how this can happen. You used to love your partner with your whole heart. He was the main reason why you wore a smile on your face.
Right now, everything has changed and you want to be sure that what you’re feeling isn’t wrong. You want to know whether it’s possible for love to turn into hate in such a short amount of time.
Is falling out of love after infidelity a normal part of the process?
This is the person you imagined your future with and at the moment, you can no longer recognize the reason why you initially fell in love with him. You’re so upset with what he did to you that you can’t even stand to look at him.
Maybe you think that something’s wrong with you or that you never truly loved him but what you’re experiencing right now is perfectly normal. Falling out of love after infidelity can be a natural reaction that happens once you realize your partner has cheated on you.
Not every person will feel this way after getting cheated on but a significant number of people will definitely replace the love they once felt with either anger or a lack of emotions.
You have nothing to blame yourself for since these feelings are only natural. The person you trusted the most went behind your back and had an affair with someone else.
This upset you and it affected all of the emotions you once felt for him. He disappointed you as a man since he broke every promise he made to you the moment your relationship went official.
Your partner likely even made you question yourself, as many women start to blame themselves after being cheated on. You may be trying to figure out whether there’s something wrong with you and you want to know whether you’re no longer attractive enough or good enough for him.
For all those reasons, you’re starting to fall out of love with your partner. You no longer see him as someone you want to share your life with, which is perfectly normal. He showed you that he’s not the man you thought him to be and that’s why you’re reconsidering your feelings for him.
So, don’t even try to think that something’s wrong with you. Don’t think that you never truly loved him just because it’s this easy for you to stop loving him. What he did to you is terrible and there’s really no excuse.
Your heart knows that and that’s why your feelings for him have changed. He cheated on you and made you feel like you can’t trust him so it’s only reasonable that you feel like suddenly, you no longer care about him.
Should you stay with a cheating partner even after you realize you’re falling out of love after infidelity?
Falling out of love after infidelity is something that often happens. When your partner breaks your heart by having an affair with another woman, your whole world collapses. From that point on, nothing will be the same.
Everything the two of you built has now broken down and you have to start all over again. Still, two questions arise; questions you never even imagined you would ask yourself.
Should you stay with a cheating partner? Is there any point in trying to fix your relationship when you already feel like you’re falling out of love after infidelity?
Unfortunately, no one can give you an answer to these questions. No one can tell you the right thing to do as you’re the only person who knows that. The solution to your dilemma is hidden deep inside of your heart.
Even though you want to hear advice from others, you’re still the only one who knows what to do. If you choose to listen to others instead of listening to your own heart, the chances are that you’ll make a mistake that will cost you dearly.
You’ll do something you don’t feel ready for and then you’ll blame everyone around you for the choice you’ve made. But if you figure out on your own what your next step should be, that way you’ll save yourself from a lot of pain. You’ll save yourself from making the wrong move.
However, before you make your decision and figure out what to do next, there are still some questions you should think about. They will ease the decision-making process and help you realize the right thing to do. So, here’s everything you need to ask yourself first before taking the next step.
1. Has your partner apologized to you?
Falling out of love after infidelity is bound to happen, especially if your partner never makes an effort to sincerely apologize for his actions. That’s when your heart starts to feel a need to distance itself from him.
We can all make a mistake, even though cheating counts as more than just a simple mistake. However, when your partner doesn’t apologize for what he did, that’s when you know that your relationship isn’t going to last.
How can you fix something when he doesn’t even feel sorry for what he did? How can you move on and forgive him if he doesn’t feel remorse for having an affair?
When your partner cheats on you and doesn’t apologize for it, it’s possible that he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. In that case, you can expect him to repeat his mistake.
Don’t think that your situation will improve unless you even hear him say he’s sorry. That’s the first step toward fixing your relationship and getting it back on track.
2. Are you both willing to try counseling?
Are you the only one who wants to try counseling for the sake of saving your relationship? Is your partner reluctant to or doesn’t want to agree to it?
In this case, there’s really no point in getting back together with him when he clearly doesn’t even want to fix the damage he caused. Even if he feels uncomfortable telling others about his personal issues, he should still be ready to do so after all of the pain he inflicted on you.
He probably sees in your eyes that you’re falling out of love after infidelity but he clearly doesn’t want to do anything to stop that. At this point, ask yourself whether you should even be fighting for him.
If he doesn’t want to try counseling even though he brought you into this situation, then what’s the point? You can give your best to fix the damage but you can’t do that all alone, without his help.
3. Is your partner still in touch with the person he cheated on you with?
Even though you’re falling out of love after infidelity, you may still want to give your relationship another shot. You could be considering forgiving your partner for what he did because you don’t want to lose him.
But at the same time, you know that he’s still in touch with this other woman. He hasn’t even put in the effort to stop communicating with her and still keeps her on the back burner.
It could also be that you’re the one who’s on the back burner but that’s a story in itself. What matters right now is for you to figure out whether he still talks to her.
When a man’s truly sorry for his wrongdoings, he’ll make the decision to change right away, which means that he won’t communicate with the person he cheated on you with any longer. But if he doesn’t care in the slightest about hurting you, then he won’t do anything to prove to you that he’ll change.
Unfortunately, he’ll act the same way since he’s obviously ignorant about your feelings. At this point, there’s not really much you can do. When he chooses to stay in touch with the person he cheated on you with, that’s when you know that your relationship is over.
4. Does he keep lying to you?
Your partner already ruined your trust by hitting you with one big fat lie. In order to rebuild what’s broken, he needs to show you that from that point on, he’ll always be honest with you.
But the moment he hides even the smallest thing from you is the moment when he’ll lose you forever. From that point on, there will be no going back.
You need to be sure that you can trust him once again, especially after what he did to you. So, if you catch him lying then you must ask yourself whether there’s any point in getting back together.
He already broke you apart by lying to you about one of the most important things no one should ever lie about. He pretended you were the only woman in his life while he kissed the lips of someone else.
So, if you catch him in a lie one more time, even if it’s something trivial or petty, the chances are that you’ll realize he’s not worth the effort. It’ll prove to you he’s not ready to change and that’s where your decision’s made for you.
You can’t make him act the right way. He’s not a child, he already knows what he should do in order to earn your trust back.
So, if you see him lying to you even after he cheated on you, that’s when you know that you can’t trust him. No matter what you do to try and save the relationship, he’ll always be the one sabotaging it.
5. Does he put in the effort to fix the relationship?
Are you the only one trying to fix the damage that’s been done? Are you fighting with yourself to forgive him and save your relationship while he’s not even lifting a finger?
Both partners should be willing to fix their relationship, especially after infidelity is the reason why it fell apart in the first place. When he’s the one who cheated on you, then he should show you that he wants to change. He needs to prove to you he won’t make the same mistake twice.
When you don’t see that happening, then you shouldn’t even bother getting your hopes up. You deserve someone who’ll want to prove to you just how much you mean to him, especially after all of the wrong choices he’s made.
6. Does he accept responsibility?
When you’re trying to figure out whether you should stay with your partner, especially after you realize that you’re falling out of love after infidelity, then you need to know the answer to the following:
Does your partner accept responsibility or does he keeps blaming you for his actions?
More often than not, a cheating partner shifts the blame on to the person who did nothing wrong. They do this as they’re trying to justify their actions.
So, for example, your partner may tell you that he cheated on you because he thought you no longer loved him. Or he could say that he wasn’t being faithful because your behavior upset him and he needed an outlet.
None of the explanations he tells you is worth accepting since he’s not admitting to himself or you that the blame is on him. So, if you don’t hear him accepting responsibility, you should reconsider whether there’s even a point to staying with him.
How to get yourself back on track when you fall out of love after infidelity and decide to end things for good
When you fall out of love after infidelity and decide to break up for the sake of your own well-being, moving on can feel like a mission impossible. You may get the idea that you’ll never be able to get over what happened to you.
So, how do you get yourself back on track? How do you keep your head up high and move on after everything you’ve been through?
Letting go of the past won’t be easy but as long as you’re doing what’s best for you, you’ll be able to fix yourself up and heal properly. Here are some things you can do to help yourself get back on track after having a painful experience with a cheating partner.
1. Admit to yourself that you can’t change what happened
This is the first step toward healing. It’s the first move you have to make if you want to allow yourself to heal.
You need to admit to yourself that what happened is not your fault. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t ever change the final outcome since you’re the one least responsible for it.
You need to stop living in the past, trying to figure out what you could’ve done differently. The truth is that for any number of twisted reasons, it was all meant to play out this way.
Maybe this lesson is supposed to teach you that you shouldn’t neglect your worth, even for those who mean the most to you. You should always put yourself first, no matter what.
Also, no matter how much you love someone, you can’t make that person love you the same. You can’t convince your partner that he shouldn’t cheat on you because he should already know that.
In the end, there’s no need to keep reliving the past when you can’t do anything about it. He played his cards the wrong way and now, you’re falling out of love after infidelity, which was bound to happen.
You can only accept reality as it is and move on from there. That’s the only right thing to do right now.
2. Unfollow your ex on social media
While the break-up is still fresh, you should consider unfollowing your ex on social media. At this stage, it’s still too early for you to always be surrounded by reminders of someone who broke your heart.
The moment you see him liking pics of other women, you’ll start to think that he was also cheating on you with them. You’ll start creating scenarios that probably didn’t even happen.
So, to save yourself from going through that torture, your best move is to simply unfollow him. Mute his posts and stories and stop checking to see what he’s doing.
By now, he’s the last person you want to be in contact with. You need some space to get over him and heal properly and if you keep looking at his profiles all the time, neither of those things will happen.
3. Talk to the friends you trust the most
Right now, you need to move on. You’re already falling out of love after infidelity, which is never an easy thing to go through.
All of a sudden, your whole life has changed and you shouldn’t have to deal with it on your own. Instead, talk to the friends you trust the most and allow them to be there for you.
Let them give you support now when you need it the most. Their help will certainly make it easier for you to let go of the past.
4. Seek help from a therapist
If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your issues with your friends, you can always opt for a therapist. You need someone to listen to you and show you that you’ll be able to move on if you allow yourself to.
A therapist does that for a living, so you can never go wrong with talking to one. It’ll all work out just fine and once you seek professional help, you’ll know that you deserve to feel happy again.
Falling out of love after infidelity is just a step that will lead you to your healing. The day will come when you’ll finally realize that your cheating partner was never even meant to stay in your life forever. He was only a chapter of your life and nothing more than that.
5. Build new relationships
Stop focusing your time on a relationship that failed. A man who cheated on you doesn’t deserve a day more of your attention.
This is your time to move on and focus on yourself. It’s time to look for happiness somewhere else.
You have every right to try your luck with other guys. So, once you feel ready, get back on the dating scene and look for the one who’s meant to be yours.
You deserve to be happy again and you shouldn’t deny yourself it just because you’ve been cheated on. Let your ex deal with the fact that he made the worst mistake of his life and in the meantime, allow yourself to move on.
6. Remind yourself that none of the things that happened is your fault
When you’re falling out of love after infidelity, there will be some days when your whole world will be crumbling apart. Instead of blaming yourself for what happened, you need to realize that it’s not your fault.
You didn’t pressure your ex-partner into anything. You never made him cheat on you; the decision was solely his.
Even if he keeps blaming you, you should stop letting his words get to you. He’s obviously trying to spare his conscience from all of the regret he’s feeling.
So, from this point on, don’t make yourself feel guilty for his mistake. He’s the one who made the choice to cheat on you and that’s why he should be responsible for it.
You have nothing to blame yourself for since his actions belong to him and only him. Your only responsibility is to help yourself move on and heal after everything you’ve gone through.
That’s the only obligation you must fulfill. Everything else falls onto the shoulders of your cheating partner.