Knowing that your husband had an extramarital affair is a really tough thing to endure.
You feel like a betrayed wife and the bottom line is that troublesome times are ahead of you.
Despite this, if you have decided to forgive your husband and work on your issues, the problem may be how to make the other woman go away.
Well, there is no single answer to this question. It is a tough one, which requires a lot of thinking.
Dealing with a cheating husband is one thing, but dealing with a home-wrecker is a whole other.
Unfortunately, infidelity includes more than just the two of you, as it includes a third person.
That person, like everybody else, will have her own attitudes, opinions, and actions.
Those things could heavily influence things when you try to rebuild your relationship.
Divorce is not an option for you. I know that being replaced by another woman in your husband’s life is never easy.
Whatever the case might be, the other woman may be a stubborn woman who is hooked on a married man.
She continues to affect your marriage even after the affair has ended. As we know, human beings can be really competitive and selfish.
Maybe the other woman became so emotionally invested and physically attracted to your husband that ending the affair seems pointless to her.
So why do men have other women in the first place?
Why do they decide that having a romantic relationship with one partner is not enough for them?
Why do they become cheaters?
Well, for one, they might feel dissatisfaction in their marriage.
If a man is not satisfied and thinks his needs are not met in the relationship, he will search elsewhere.
He may feel the need to fill the void somewhere else.
Some may be addicted to their affair partner and constantly need to feel desired by someone else besides their wife.
Living a double life brings them excitement, which they thought lacked in the marriage.
If you two have been married for a long time, your life will have calmed down and developed some sort of routine.
A married man may cheat on his wife because that particular routine frustrates him.
He tries to find the spark somewhere else and having an affair helps him achieve that.
Or he might be a man who loves to live in the moment, and having an affair is not a big deal to him anyway.
Having feelings for other single women is a normal occurrence for such a man.
Another reason why men have an affair is that they lack an emotional connection with their spouse.
When a married man feels neglected and underappreciated, he will try to find someone else to connect with.
He will try to find someone who will make him feel appreciated and loved. He will try to satisfy his needs elsewhere.
If your partner feels that he cannot talk to you about his feelings and starts searching somewhere else to unload them, then the chances of infidelity definitely increase.
The chances are he might have an emotional affair instead of a physical one.
Another reason men have other women in their lives is that they simply change.
Change is inevitable; just like you change your job or career, so do people change throughout their lives.
Eventually, the person you met at first isn’t the same person now.
If your spouse was perfect for you at one point in time, that doesn’t mean he will be perfect for you forever.
I know that everybody strives for that, but it is a tough truth that needs to be said.
Instead of accepting it, we end up having meaningless fights, trying to salvage something that is not salvageable.
The last reason why a man has another woman that I want to mention is that you and your spouse have different sex drives.
In many cases, a wife becomes an ex-wife because the sex drives do not match anymore.
Maybe one partner wants it more often than the other. That creates a tremendous problem for a romantic relationship to continue.
After a certain period, the physical attraction wears off. It is natural for that desire to decrease, but it should not disappear completely.
Your self-esteem might decrease if you find out that the reason for his affair was the lack of desire in the bedroom.
The bottom line is to preserve your mental health and try to work things out.
Now that we have covered why men have other women in their lives and why they decide to have affairs, we can focus on the different types of ‘other women’.
To figure out how to make the other woman go away, you need to figure out the type you are dealing with.
First, we have the subordinate other woman, a younger girl who falls for an older man, usually at their workplace.
Such a woman loves the thrill of being the other woman. She believes when he tells her he will leave his spouse for her so they can begin a life together.
As we know, a belief can be a fantastic driving force, so she hangs on to her affair partner and waits.
This person is rather naive and ignorant and has a hard time letting go.
She will patiently wait to be the only woman in her man’s life, only to find out he will never leave his wife for her.
Then we have the desperate other woman.
The desperate one is ready to settle for scraps.
She has low self-esteem and every time her affair partner tells her, “I love you more than my wife,” she truly believes that.
She will compromise and settle for whatever time she can get. Whenever he calls her, she drops everything and rushes toward him no matter what.
However, things change when she demands something and she doesn’t get any response, and he does not fulfil her needs.
Such a woman doesn’t have a sense of self. She fears losing the relationship and has a hard time letting go.
Also, there is the liberated other woman.
This is a woman who is career-centered and just wants relationships with no strings attached.
A married man enjoys having an affair with such a woman because they have the same agenda, which is having their needs met and then getting the heck out without becoming attached to each other.
However, such a woman will leave her affair partner if he gets too attached.
The liberated other woman has a twisted definition of what a genuine relationship is. She cannot fantom the consequences of her actions.
Another type of the other woman is the rebound.
This woman would never indulge in having an affair if it wasn’t for her husband cheating first.
Such a woman has a hard time forgiving her husband.
Instead of focusing on herself and healing, she tries to inflict pain on him by having an affair with another married man.
Such a betrayed wife suddenly finds herself as the other woman.
She may act hastily and drastically because she cannot cope with the pain she feels.
The thing to remember in such a situation is to have self-respect and remember who you are.
Then we have other married other women.
This might seem strange or even stereotypical, but this type of other woman is disconnected from her own husband.
She tries to satisfy her needs and emotions with someone else.
This type of woman is aware of how dysfunctional her marriage really is.
She has seen how the love in her marriage has faded away and because of that, she became completely detached from her husband.
She pushes away her guilt by starting an affair because she no longer sees value in her own marriage.
While it is important to know how to make the other woman go away, knowing how to confront your husband might be equally important.
So, I’m going to give you some advice on how to easily confront your spouse.
Never try to talk to him without gathering proof first.
Having proof of his infidelity is pivotal. While your intuition may be wrong or right, gathering proof will help prove your suspicions.
He might try to cover his tracks if you make any accusations before gathering proof.
Eventually, it will be hard to find any and it will leave you hurt.
Be prepared for his reaction because he will deny it at first.
However, with the proof you have up your sleeve, there is nothing he can say that will dismiss your suspicions.
Picking the right time might be difficult because there is no right time for accusing someone of something.
Be prepared to have an adult conversation and try to maintain calm all the time.
I know it is hard, but God will give you strength in such times. You will survive, so don’t let your emotions control your actions.
You should always focus on the facts and prepare your proof, whether this is messages, pictures, social media, or whatever you have against him.
He may try to blame it on you and say how you snooped on him. But try to demand an explanation for his actions.
If you think that you might lose your temper, try to rehearse what you’re going to say.
You want this to be a rational conversation rather than an emotional outburst.
If you stay calm and collected, your partner will be caught off guard and he won’t know how to respond.
Always remember the end goal.
Having an affair means you have problems in your relationship but it doesn’t mean it is the end for the two of you.
Even if your husband leaves you, it doesn’t mean it’s over.
If he truly is sorry for what he has done, then you should consider giving him one more chance. But you should never decide this on your own.
Dealing with problems in a relationship is not a one-person job. It requires both parties to decide and be ready to put in the effort to succeed.
Now that we have covered what you should do while confronting your husband about the affair, we can focus on what should you do when addressing the third person.
Sometimes, women resort to this solution because they feel that the third person should be confronted too, because they share the same guilt as their husband.
Sometimes the other woman won’t stop until you confront her. She will continue to flirt or try to seduce your husband.
However, there are strategies that might be helpful when you find yourself in a situation like this.
You should definitely check the facts first.
Before confronting the other woman about the affair, make sure you really know what happened between them.
Maybe he lied to her that he was single or she misinterpreted something, so know the facts and don’t let your emotions take over you.
Even if she seduced him, he could have rejected her.
Your confrontation will be less effective if you don’t know what actually happened and eventually, you will lose credibility because she will be able to contradict your information with actual facts.
Also, take into consideration the method of communication.
Today, there are many ways of communicating with each other, from phones to computers, and for this, the best possible one would be the good old face-to-face method.
It will prove beneficial for several reasons, as you can see her in real life and observe her body language as she speaks.
Also, she can see you, the wife, and the most important reason why you should choose the face-to-face method is that you will likely see whether she is lying to you or not.
Choose a public place and not your home because you will feel safe and it will be neutral.
Most importantly, let your good friends know where you are and with whom you are meeting, as in case something bad happens and a fight escalates into something bigger, you have your friends to watch your back.
You should clarify the reasons why you want to confront the other woman.
Is it because you want revenge or do you want her to listen to your story and see your face?
How to make the other woman go away might be difficult to answer, so if you need some closure in your life or if you need her testimony before confronting your husband about the affair, the other woman might provide you with some answers.
You should always decide beforehand whether it is worth meeting the other woman.
Maybe the meeting will serve no valuable purpose and you have already decided what to do in your mind, or perhaps it will help you restore trust in your husband.
The chances are you will feel even worse after you have confronted the other woman, so you need to decide whether it is worth your time and effort and then act.
Now that you’ve decided whether or not you should confront her, you may be asking how to make the other woman go away.
Well, you could ignore her completely if you want.
It happened, and you need to deal with it, but she is nothing special.
It was just an affair, something that wouldn’t last, and you should not make the other woman more important than you are.
You should spend your time and energy resolving the problems in your marriage and solve the ones that led to an affair by finding solutions together with your partner.
It doesn’t take the blame off of your husband but try to act constructively rather than destructively.
The bottom line is that your spouse has cheated on you and now you are trying to fix that together.
You can also ignore the other woman, even if she is physically present.
She probably has problems with low self-esteem, so she will try to create drama and make it all about her.
By not mentioning her name all the time, you are giving your husband an opportunity to realize how wrong he actually was about you.
He will realize his mistake and try to fix it with you instead of her.
Remember to always be honest about your feelings.
Make sure that your spouse knows how you’re feeling, so tell him you need to talk and be completely honest with him.
You must confront him directly and without hesitation and the point should be to make him realize he has hurt you and open up about how you miss the good old days when it was only the two of you.
The goal of the conversation is all about your heartache and the pain you feel.
When you confess your feelings to him, you might trigger powerful emotions of guilt and shame, which will eventually drive the other woman away.
He will regret what he did, and those powerful emotions will serve as a turning point for stopping the affair altogether.
No matter what happened, you always have a choice to walk away, remember that.
After you have confronted him and let him know about your feelings, you could simply stop paying attention to his emotions.
He will feel guilt and sorrow and he will try to relieve this by talking to you, so try to create an emotional vacuum around him, take care of your body and mind, and just focus on yourself.
In most cases, cheating means losing someone you hold dear and after you create an emotional vacuum, he will experience emotionally how it is when you are not around him.
When he cannot relieve his pain by talking to you, he will lose the comfort, stability, and security that he knows.
Those are the things that only you can give your husband, so remember that.
You know that men love to chase women, right? After a couple of days have passed, you can get back to your normal life.
You can allow him to touch you again and make his feelings known to you.
Once he remembers the feelings he had at the beginning of your romantic relationship, he is all yours once again.
It is up to you to decide whether he is worth giving it another shot, or you could just walk away.
However, if you decide to give it another shot, be the person whom he trusted once and let him open up to you completely.
Your mind might drift off and you might think about the other woman, but put your focus on your marriage, as you two are important and not her.
I know that the recovery phase is tough and long, but you need to learn to be patient and not give up.
Fixing something that might already be broken takes time and effort but be patient and honest about each other’s feelings.
Never hold back your emotions. If you feel insecure and still doubt him, say that to him, and make it known that he needs to prove his loyalty.
Another thing you can do is lay down some ground rules and you can always say what you will accept and what you won’t.
He should be aware that if he repeats the mistake, you will walk out of his life and leave him for good.
You can always ask for professional help and suggest going to therapy together, which can be beneficial for both of you.
You will have a much greater chance of succeeding if there is a mediator in the middle.
They might give you a fresh perspective on your relationship, which can be great.
You may not be able to see past your own hurt and frustration, and that’s where a mediator can step in.
Don’t hold grudges and learn to let go of the past.
Focus on what you can do today to rebuild the trust and honesty. But don’t smother him by continuing to bring it up.
Learning how to forgive and moving past cheating can be tricky and tough. But with these tips and tricks, it is certainly possible to do so.
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