I tried writing this letter to you, the other woman, so many times now that my vision is blurred by unshed tears.
I tried to tell you in a million different ways what I feel when I think of you and everything that happened.
Nothing seems to be good enough.
I guess the one thing that always echoed through my mind before whenever this subject came up was: Did you know?
Did you know that I was always waiting for him at home?
Did you know that I would write him countless text messages because I didn’t know what was happening and I was so scared that something had happened to him?
I should have known that he was in ‘good hands’ and that I didn’t have to worry.
My heart would yell at me that something bad was happening and that I should go and search for him.
Did you know that I existed when he kissed you the first time? Did you think that what he and I had was that laughable?
Why was it so easy for you to kiss him back and touch him?
The worst thing about it is that I don’t blame you, even though you’re the other woman.
Everyone tells me that I should blame you, that you’re the reason why I’m crying myself to sleep each night.
Even at times when I feel hate welling up under my skin when I think of you, I stop myself and try to see things clearly.
It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your obligation to be loyal to me.
He should have been the one to stop your advances, tell you he was married and walk away.
You saw an opportunity for reassurance and physical touch, you may have thought that a man who wanted to be loyal would have walked away.
That is completely on him and I understand that.
The sight of you doesn’t bring me as much pain as it brings me sadness. The sight of him brings me pure rage and anger.
How could he do that to someone he claimed to love? How could he stab me in the back and go find shelter in the arms of another woman?
I guess you can’t answer those questions, but I just wish he knew what he has done to me.
I wish he knew how much he hurt me and that love isn’t something I’m looking forward to anymore.
For some reason, I have been so scared that you think I blame you for what happened.
You are a woman, just like me, and somehow we crave male attention even when it shouldn’t be like that.
We crave to be touched and looked at with adoration, which is something every woman can understand.
So don’t worry, I don’t blame you. He should have been the one to say no.
I would have thought of you as an innocent bystander, but then you found out that I existed.
What did you think at that point?
Did you believe that I was just another wife who would be left by her husband or were you stupid enough to fall for the charms of a married man?
I really want to know, because I was on your side. I thought of him as the bad guy, a pig and a scumbag.
However, when you found out that he was married, it seems your initial thought wasn’t to tell me right away and it wasn’t to leave him.
It was to believe him that he loved you more and that he’d leave me for you.
You could have stopped this. You could have told him that he didn’t deserve a woman in his life at all and he would be all alone.
But here I am, crying my eyes out because it still hurts.
I am not going to pretend that I am strong and emotionless.
Why should I make you believe that it didn’t hurt me at all? You need to see what you and that man have done.
I am crying my eyes out and my chest feels heavier than ever before. I still have nightmares, and I still hope that it was all just a very bad dream.
When I close my eyes, I like to imagine that things didn’t end up that way.
I loved that man. I truly did love him and I thought that I would spend the rest of my life with him.
He betrayed my trust on his own at first, but then you helped him by hiding everything from me.
When I heard the entire story, yes, my disappointment in my husband was immeasurable. However, my disappointment in you is something else.
I do believe that there is a secret code between women.
That we should look out for each other because we already have it hard without being at each other’s throats constantly.
My marriage is destroyed. It’s over.
I would never forgive a cheater or kiss the lips of a liar. I would much rather stay true to myself than be with someone like that.
Everyone around me is hurting too and it somehow seems like they are hurting even more than I am.
I dodged a bullet – that’s how I see it.
I dodged a man who wasn’t worthy of me. You two did this to yourselves, because yes, I will cry for days, maybe weeks, but I will get better.
I will get to a point where I have to build myself back up because I know that I didn’t do anything wrong.
There will always be a sense of calm in me, however, that says that it was you two who did this.
I know that I gave my marriage my everything. There wasn’t a moment where I thought about cheating on the man I loved.
I was there for him, I listened to him, I was his shoulder to cry on. He could always count on me to be there for him, to help him, and to spoil him.
I know that I didn’t deserve this!
You just need to know that if he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
You’re the other woman now, but there will be another.
You don’t want to believe in this right now, but once a cheater, always a cheater.
He can tell you stories and he can give you all the things you desire right now, but you two are living with the undeniable truth that your relationship started off as an ugly lie.
If you can both live with that truth, then I really wish you all the best.
I didn’t deserve this, but you two deserve each other.