Think aloud
Being nervous around someone you like is a normal thing that can happen to all of us. It doesn’t matter if you’re on a date with a friend who you secretly have a crush on, or if you’ve been dating a shy guy for months and you’re looking for ways to make him comfortable around you.
Understanding what makes a guy nervous around you is crucial if you ever want him to open up to you. And figuring out what makes his heart tick can help you relax your anxious mind while you wait for him to let you in.
That’s why I made a list of things that you can do to loosen him up a bit, so that he feels more comfortable around you.
1. Initiate and plan your dates
Usually, nervous guys have a hard time making plans for dates because it brings them enormous pressure. They’re afraid to disappoint you, so they’d rather not plan at all.
So, if your goal is to relax his mind a bit and save him the stress, then it’s for the best to take control over the planning and do it yourself.
Just be careful not to make any plans that might increase his nervousness even more. Try activities that are less communicative early on, such as playing mini-golf, or watching a movie together. Don’t invite him to meet your friends immediately because that will definitely scare him off.
Initiating and planning low-key dates is a good thing to do when dealing with a nervous guy. You want him to be less anxious about what might happen, so that opens his heart to you.
2. Ask open-ended questions
You find that when you’re dating a nervous guy, you’ll be responsible for the conversation flowing. You’ll have to put a lot of effort to keep things interesting and not have any of those awkward silences.
If you want to avoid them, then just ask open-ended questions that won’t make the conversation feel forced. That way, you’ll subconsciously give him a slight push to talk more about himself because he won’t be able to give you simple “yes” or “no” answers.
A few examples are “How did you get to be that good at playing football?” or “What made you decide to move to the city?”
These types of questions can also help you create a deeper and more meaningful connection with him.
3. Make subtle physical contact
I know that this might sound difficult for you, but hear me out. When you make subtle physical contact with someone, your body releases oxytocin, which is also known as the bonding hormone. It helps you and him feel closer to each other and strengthens your relationship.
I don’t mean that you try to kiss him on your first date, but you can always subtly touch his arms or shoulders to communicate that you’re comfortable around him. This will break the invisible barrier that he has created and make him feel less nervous.
On top of that, this will show him that he has your permission to hold your hand or to put his arm around you. And who knows, maybe he plucks up enough courage to later go for the kiss.
4. Make the first move
A nervous guy won’t be bold enough to make the first moves in a relationship. He may be super in love with you and perhaps wants to tell you that, but his nervous mind just keeps him from being in such a vulnerable position.
That’s because he doesn’t believe in himself that much and doubts that a girl like you could ever be in love with a guy like him. This is why he might be shy when it comes to meeting new people or starting conversations with complete strangers.
If you really believe that you and this guy can be together, then let go of your pride and make the first move. Introduce yourself and initiate the conversation. If he’s a friend you’d love to confess your feelings to, then drop a couple of hints by talking about the things you’d like to do together with him.
Also, making the first move saves you a lot of time wondering whether or not he’s really into you.
5. Focus on other types of communication
If you see that he’s really reluctant to open up to you in person, then you can try using some other way to chat.
Perhaps he feels pressured to express his feelings for you when you’re talking face-to-face but is more confident talking to you behind a screen.
After some time, he may feel comfortable speaking with you both online and in person.
Exchanging texts messages and having online conversations are slower in pace, which gives him enough time to think about how he can respond to your question.
6. Pay him a couple of compliments
One of the best ways to loosen up a nervous guy is to give him a sincere compliment. Maybe he played a great game the night before or you saw him do something extraordinary.
Well, in that case, be sure to let him know that you’re impressed by him.
Or just give him a compliment about his hair or tell him that he has a great smile. It’s not that often that guys receive compliments from girls. He’ll sure feel better about himself and feel less awkward and nervous next time he sees you.
Just be careful not to exaggerate with the compliments as he may interpret them as ingenuine and forced.
