Is he waiting for me to text him first or does he just need more time to take the first step?
Oh, the well-known uncertainty at the very beginning of dating.
Dating is hard in itself, but it seems that it got even harder with the appearance of online dating.
It’s not about going on dates anymore and getting to know each other that way.
Now, we are in constant touch with the people around us.
Social media, dating apps, text messages – they all make it harder to understand what your next step should be.
Who is supposed to make the first move? Is that still the guy’s job or should the woman take the wheel?
Can you call it ‘ghosting’ if he hasn’t texted you back for five hours?
Should you see that as a sign that he wants to break up? Should you give him a call to see if everything is all right?
However, there is one question that should be asked prior to all of those mentioned above.
Is he waiting for me to text him first?
Who is even supposed to start the messaging in the modern dating world?
What if you text him first? How would that make him feel in the first place?
Let’s say that you had a first date with a guy and it all went great. The next day, you wake up, and there is no, “Good morning,” text.
Well, he must be busy. It’s not that big of a deal so you forget about it and go on with your day.
But the next thing you know, you are getting ready for bed and you remember that he still hasn’t texted you.
What is that supposed to mean? Is he waiting for me to text him first?
Is he playing mind games with me or is he simply sending me a sign that he is not into me?
Thinking about how your date went and how much fun you had texting each other before, you can’t find a reason why he would stop the conversation from moving forward.
Maybe the real reason why there are no text messages coming from his side is that he is actually waiting for you to text first.
But how can you know that? Are there any ways to tell?
Well, most definitely, there are some signs that he will have shown you if he wants you to reach out to him first.
This article will help you solve the mystery and understand what his behavior is suggesting you do.
Is he waiting for me to text him first?
He obviously isn’t making a move, so I guess it is time for you to take things into your own hands.
You are not afraid of texting him first but you want to be sure that is what he wants.
To know that, you need to see some signs that suggest that he does want you to be the pursuer in this relationship (at least, at the very beginning of it).
That’s why I’m bringing you the top 8 signs that can show you that he is waiting for you to text him first.
Some of them are more than obvious, while some of them need more attention from you to notice them.
1. He is nervous around you
Let’s be honest. Most of the time, if he is shy or insecure with girls, a guy will be waiting for you to text him first.
He is not sure what you think of him, so he would rather give you time and space to start things up than get himself in a situation he is not comfortable with.
The best way to know if your guy is shy and if that is why he is waiting for you to text him first is to pay close attention to his behavior.
Does he act nervous whenever the two of you spend time together face-to-face?
If the answer is yes, then it might be the reason why your text conversation isn’t going the way you expected it to.
If he is nervous around you, it means that he likes you. And if he likes you, it means that he is not ghosting you or playing mind games with you.
Instead, he is just not sure how to start the conversation because he is afraid that he will make the wrong move.
Men pull away for different reasons but your guy may be doing it only out of fear that he will lose you if he doesn’t do what you expect him to.
To make sure that this won’t happen to him, he will be waiting for you to text him first, as that is the safer option.
Maybe he sees that you are the one who has more confidence in online dating and starting a virtual conversation, so he will make sure to let you do what you know best.
2. Whenever you text him, he replies instantly
A good sign that your guy likes you and that the only reason why he isn’t texting you is that he wants you to text him first is if you have seen up to now that he instantly replies to your messages.
You sent him a, “Hey,” message and he texted back immediately. After that, your conversation started moving in the right direction.
Maybe you can try it with him now. Text him first and then wait to see how fast he replies.
If he leaves you on read, it probably means that him not texting is actually a sign that he is ghosting you.
On the other hand, if he texts you right away, it means that he likes you but maybe he simply isn’t very good at starting a conversation.
Perhaps he has the same problem you used to have. What to text? How to write it? To add some emojis or not to?
There are so many questions when you are starting a new relationship in the modern world and even guys can have problems with them too.
It’s not easy to get to the goal of hearing that heart-melting, “I love you,” when you have no idea what you are doing.
3. He lives a busy lifestyle
Maybe you have noticed that your guy is really busy. I am talking ‘busy to the point where he has no idea if he even replied to your message’.
If you already noticed that, then it is more than obvious that he will be waiting for you to text him first.
His thoughts are all over the place and he simply has no idea what he is supposed to do next.
This means that he will easily forget to text you and tell you that he had an amazing time the previous night, even if he did.
Another way to tell that your guy is just too busy and that you will have to be the one who starts a conversation is if you notice that he doesn’t spend a lot of time online.
The dot next to his name only becomes green when he opens the chat to reply to someone who texted him.
After that, he is gone, as he has more important things to do.
Another sign that he is waiting for you to text him first is if you notice that he is one of the active followers of your social media profiles.
You will post a picture and he will instantly like it, and maybe even leave a comment.
This suggests that he is thinking about you but he doesn’t know how to start a conversation.
That’s why he pays close attention to your social media profiles, hoping that you will notice him and maybe text him first.
It would be his dream come true if you did. He would get to talk to you without struggling with how to start a conversation.
So, if you notice that your guy has been active on your profiles but there is no sign of him in your messages, then maybe it is time for you to make a move.
He is waiting for you to text him first and you should go for it!
5. His friends told you that he is shy with girls
Maybe you already met his friends and you expressed your anxiety that he never starts a conversation with you.
You might have already asked them if he told them that he is not interested in you.
The chances are that it is the complete opposite. He probably told them that he is really into you but he simply has no idea how to express that.
Maybe he is afraid that he will scare you away or maybe he is really shy with women.
If this is the case then he will almost always let you be the one who is in control.
If his friends already told you that your guy is shy, then you know why he isn’t messaging you.
The real reason is that he is waiting for you to text him first.
Maybe your guy doesn’t know how to take the right approach so he sits and waits, hoping that you will know what to do.
He believes that it is better for him to keep quiet than text you something inappropriate that could scare you away.
You are lucky if you have inside information from his friends.
Most women don’t have the same opportunity and they can spend days overthinking why their guy isn’t texting them.
So, if you already know that your Prince Charming is a bit shyer than the guys you have dated before, then take the lead and text him first.
Both of you will get what you want, without stressing about the consequences.
6. He shows an interest in you
Maybe you have been on a date and you had a lot of fun. Everything seemed great.
Your guy showered you with compliments and he openly showed you that he is interested in you.
But when you got home, there were no text messages. This suggests that he is waiting for you to text him first.
He likes you but for some reason, he does not make the same effort with texting as he does with a face-to-face meeting, which is why he leaves this part to you.
He wants you to take the first step, and then he will join you.
This can be his way of telling you that he wants you to put in the same amount of effort as he is.
He is fine with chasing you but sometimes he wants to be chased too.
This would mean that your guy wants the two of you to put an equal amount of effort into your relationship.
If he is the one who gives more than you, then it won’t last long.
Both of you need to be on the same page. Anything else doesn’t work for your guy.
7. He told you that he thinks you are too good for him
If this guy already told you that he thinks you are too good for him, then he will stay away from texting you.
He is not sure that you want to have anything to do with him and he won’t try to make a move.
Instead, he will be waiting for you to text him first and to show him that you are interested in him.
If his self-esteem is low, he will be afraid of rejection. That’s why he thinks it is better not to make a move than to hear you say, “No,” to him.
He looks at you and he sees this amazing person and he simply believes that he has nothing to offer you.
That is why he will be shy with texting, so you will have to text him first.
If you look on the positive side, you will realize that this has a lot of benefits.
Firstly, when you text him first and he replies, you will be sure that he is not ignoring you but he just doesn’t know how to approach you.
Secondly, it will make him realize that you like him and that you don’t think that he isn’t worth your time and attention.
So, simply text him first and make life an easier place for both of you.
8. He told you that he is not good at texting
One of the obvious signs of why he is waiting for you to message him first is simply because he is not good at texting.
He doesn’t know how to start a conversation, he doesn’t know what or when he is supposed to text you.
If you asked him to choose between texting and meeting in real life, he would always pick the second option.
He just isn’t the kind of guy who will sit at home and engage in a daily exchange of messages.
He prefers to look at you while the two of you talk and nothing can make up for that feeling.
That is why your guy probably won’t start the conversation and he will be waiting for you to text him first.
Why is he waiting for you to text him first?
It is clear that your guy will give you different signs if he is waiting for you to text him first. But the question is why is he waiting in the first place?
We know that guys love to chase women, especially when they really like a certain woman.
So, if your guy is showing interest but still isn’t making a move, you have to ask yourself WHY!
There are many reasons why guys wait for girls to text them first. I will share with you only some of them.
Maybe he is waiting for you to text him because he is not sure whether he likes you.
He wants to see how you feel about him so he can decide what his next move should be.
When men are unsure about their feelings, they take time to make a decision. This can be one of the reasons why your guy isn’t texting you.
He will wait for you to take the first step. It’s like he is testing the waters to see what will happen next.
Another reason why he can be waiting for you to text him first is if he has other options. No matter how harsh this sounds, it is possible.
Maybe he is not really interested in you but he decided to go out with you anyway.
I know that this isn’t what you really want to hear and that it won’t give you the romantic ending you hoped for but it may be the reality.
If you notice that your man is a player and that he is probably talking to other girls, you shouldn’t even bother thinking about why he isn’t texting you.
Instead, you should let him wait for your text – the one that he will never receive.
Alternatively, your guy might be waiting for you to text him first because he is scared.
Maybe he is afraid of what could happen or he is simply afraid that you will reject him.
This can be hard for guys, especially if they have been rejected in the past.
So, in order to avoid that, this guy is letting you show him that you like him first.
He would rather wait for you to make a move than risk being rejected (again).
Another reason why guys wait for girls to text them first is that they have no idea how texting is supposed to work.
He may text you, “Meet you at 5?” and that is as far as some men love to go regarding texting.
Anything other than that is too much and makes no sense to them.
Why would he spend hours texting you when he can take you out and have a decent conversation, while actually looking at you and observing your facial expressions?
That’s why texting is not as important for men as it seems to be for women.
They love face-to-face conversations and don’t want to bother with constant messaging.
So, if you want him to send you a text, you will have to be the one who sends it first.
Finally, another possible reason why he is ‘waiting’ for you to text him first is simply because he forgot.
Even though this sounds impossible, let me tell you, it is 100% true, as it happens with guys who have busy lifestyles, like we mentioned above.
It takes a second for a man to forget what he was supposed to do. Instead of trying to remember, he will probably continue with his day.
Then, when you text him, he will realize that he wanted to text you but it slipped his mind.
I know that this won’t make sense to you, but to a guy, it will sound perfectly reasonable.
You may sit at home waiting for him to text you and he might be with his friends, unaware that he even has someone waiting for him to make a move.
To wrap things up…
Your guy can show different signs which suggest that he is waiting for you to text him first.
The point is that you should know what to pay attention to so you can know how you are supposed to react.
There might be different reasons why he is waiting for you to text him first, but if you are willing to take that step, you need to make a decision.
Are you willing to be the one who texts first or are you more of a traditional type of woman who lets the man make the first move?
No matter what your opinion is on this topic, I hope that this article was helpful and that it made you realize that your guy is actually showing you signs that he wants you to text him first.