Think aloud
You believe that you’ve met the perfect guy and naturally, you want to take your relationship to the next level. But everyone keeps telling you about this 3-month rule in dating and you don’t know what to think of it.
To be honest, you’re not really sure what you’re supposed to do or how to follow this rule.
Does it mean that you should play hot and cold with this perfect guy you’ve met? Does it mean that you should make him chase you?
The only thing that’s on your mind right now is your wish to take your relationship to another level. But should you really be waiting three months to do that or can you ignore the rules and do as you like?
Let me tell you everything you need to know about the 3-month dating rule! After that, you can decide for yourself the way you want to lead your relationship.
What is the 3-month rule in dating?
The 3-month dating rule is usually recommended when you’re trying to build a serious relationship with a certain guy.
You’re not with this guy for casual dating or a temporary fling. Instead, you want a real relationship with him, who you think also has serious intentions with you.
However, once you meet a person who ticks all of your boxes, you tend to rush things. We all do that because we get so infatuated with someone that we can’t wait to spend the rest of our life with them.
So, instead of taking things slowly, you move through the relationship as fast as you can. You think that you’re doing something good for yourself.
In three months’ time, however, you’re left alone, crying yourself to sleep and wondering why your guy left you when everything was going great.
Thankfully, the 3-month dating rule is there to save you from this exact pain. It’s meant to help you establish a deeper emotional connection with the person you’re currently dating.
After three months pass, you can decide whether your relationship is worth taking to the next level. You can see whether you want to be exclusive with this guy.
But if you do this within the first 90 days, experts say that there’s a chance that you won’t end up as happy as you want, since you’re rushing yourself into something even you aren’t ready for.
This happens because the first three months of a relationship is usually called the honeymoon stage. At that point, everything seems perfect, as the two of you are still trying to impress each other.
You always look your best, go on dates regularly, and put your best face on when you’re with each other. Even if you’ve been moody the whole day, the moment you’re supposed to go out with your guy, you make sure that he doesn’t see your real face, as you don’t want to ruin that perfect picture that he has in his mind.
So, if you decide to be exclusive within those three months, you’re only creating false impressions about your relationship. You’re still in a dreamland that doesn’t show the reality of the situation.
However, after dating for three months, you already have a better picture of what your guy is actually like. You’ll have spotted some of his flaws and you’re already starting to get more comfortable with each other.
After that, you’ll have a better understanding of whether you want to take your relationship to the next level or whether it’s better to break all ties. That’s the main idea behind the 3-month dating rule.
Things to consider while applying the 3-month dating rule!
If you decide that you want to follow the 3-month dating rule, there are a few things that you need to keep in mind.
First of all, if you’re serious about it, then make sure to stick to it. You can’t say that you’ll wait three months before taking the next step and then meet his whole family the next day.
If you want to make it work, then make sure you don’t change your mind time after time.
Also, don’t think that if you apply this rule, you’ll ruin every possibility of the two of you having a serious relationship. The truth is that if your guy has serious intentions with you, he won’t mind waiting for you.
If anything, this time together will also allow him to figure out whether he wants things to become more serious with you. And just because you still aren’t official, it doesn’t mean that your relationship won’t succeed.
Sometimes, it’s better to take some time than to rush things. If you have a chance to create an emotional connection before taking the next step, why shouldn’t you take it?
Also, don’t ever forget who you were before the relationship. Just because you’re dating some new guy, it doesn’t mean that you’re allowed to put your whole life on standby.
Your life should move forward with your relationship. All of the things you loved doing before, you need to keep doing now.
Even if you start having feelings for this guy, don’t ever let him take control of your life. You were there first and you need to remember that.
And finally, don’t tell a guy that you’re applying the 3-month rule.
He may use it against you and make a promise that he truly wants a relationship with you. Then, when you give in a little, he may use his fake promise to get whatever he wants from you, which is when you can fall into a trap.
Once three months have passed and you feel that your relationship may not work, you should listen to your heart. You know what’s best for you and you shouldn’t ignore your gut feeling.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to make a decision that won’t make you happy in the long run.
7 things that you need to know will happen after you’ve been dating for three months!
After dating for three months, your relationship will have gone through different changes. All of them are normal and they’re a sign that you’re moving forward and getting more comfortable with each other.
If you notice any of the following things slowly creeping into your relationship, you shouldn’t be scared. As long as you deal with them correctly, you’ll be golden.
1. The honeymoon phase begins to fade
Three months in and the honeymoon phase seems to be fading away. You already see a scenario where your relationship is falling apart and there’s nothing you can do to save it.
But instead of panicking, you need to be aware that the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever. I know that you would love to have things this way for the rest of your life but unfortunately, that’s not the way relationships work.
The honeymoon phase starts to disappear. It gets replaced with actual feelings that you start to have for this person.
All of the movie-like scenes that you and your partner have gone through will now turn into serious stuff.
It’s not a bad thing that things no longer feel exciting and you can’t expect your partner to act the same way he did at the beginning of your relationship. Right now, you’re moving forward and that’s a good thing.
The routine you’re starting to create means that you’re becoming more comfortable with each other and there’s nothing wrong with that.
You wanted a serious relationship with this guy in the first place and that’s exactly where you’re headed right now.
2. You’ll get more comfortable with each other
Once you get to know each other better, the communication between the two of you is more relaxed. You no longer take hours to figure out how you’re supposed to reply to his messages.
There’s no need for you to always dress your best when you go out with him. You also most likely don’t need to choose your words carefully when you want to say something.
Right now, you’ve reached a stage where you’re comfortable with being who you are. You don’t hide anything and you don’t overthink every possible scenario that could happen.
Who cares whether you liked every one of his pictures on Instagram? What does it matter if you double-texted him and why would you even bother playing hard to get?
He already knows you well and there’s no need for you to keep trying to impress him day after day.
As a matter of fact, he chose to stay with you and you don’t see him running away. You’re comfortable with each other and that’s all that matters right now.
3. You’ll feel ready to meet your partner’s friends and family
If you’ve been following the 3-months dating rule, then there’s a possibility that you still haven’t met each other’s friends and family.
Maybe by chance, you met some of his pals but you didn’t want to rush things and make a move that you’d later regret.
But right now, it feels like both of you are ready to take this step.
This means that you’re comfortable with each other enough to know that your partner is a person who should get the opportunity to meet the people who mean the most to you.
As a matter of fact, you’re praying to God that your family and friends approve of him. You now have a hunch that this person may be the one.
Even though meeting each other’s family and friends is a huge deal, you actually feel ready to do it. You may get nervous because you want them to like you, as you’ve started having feelings for this guy.
Fingers crossed that it will all go well!
4. You won’t feel the need to be together 24/7
At the very beginning of dating, couples have this need to be around each other all the time. It seems like they believe that their relationship will deteriorate if they miss seeing one another for a day.
But as your relationship moves forward, you start to realize that spending time apart is as beneficial as spending time together. If anything, sometimes it’s even better for both of you to give each other some space.
So, right now, you don’t have this need to be around your guy 24/7. You don’t feel the need to text him all the time or call him whenever he doesn’t reply to your messages.
You trust him enough to be aware that you shouldn’t know every move he makes and that he should lead his own life. Just because you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you should put everything else aside.
When he gets a chance, he’ll give you a call and when he’s not busy, he’ll take you on a date. But just because you haven’t been out in a few days, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you anymore.
Life gets in the way and you can’t expect him to spend all of his time with you. As a reward, the time you actually spend together face-to-face will mean even more, as you won’t be able to stop talking to each other.
5. You may start fighting about certain things
At the beginning of the honeymoon stage, there won’t be any reasons to fight. Things are moving smoothly and you enjoy each other’s company.
Why would you argue when the two of you are in your own bubble, a perfect place where everything seems to be working?
But as you get to know each other better and become more comfortable with each other, you start to fight about certain things that bother you.
You’re no longer afraid that your guy will leave you just because you tell him what you really mean.
So, you freely express your feelings, you work on your issues, and you make compromises, which are all parts of a healthy relationship.
When you have your first fight, don’t scare yourself by thinking that it’s a sign that it’s falling apart. Instead, see it as a sign that you’re noticing your issues and you’re working hard to solve them.
And that’s a good thing in every relationship. As long as you fight, it means that you’re present in the relationship and that you want to create a better environment for both of you.
6. You’ll talk more about future plans
After being together for three months, you’ll start to talk about your future. This happens as the two of you realize that you want to move forward with your relationship.
So, don’t be surprised if you hear your guy making plans that include you. You’ll hear him saying ‘we’ more often than ‘I’ if he knows that he wants you next to him in the future.
These plans can be both small and big, from going to his friend’s party together while holding each other’s hands to going on a vacation with his family.
You’ll realize that you can’t imagine anyone else doing something with you if it isn’t this guy in particular. And you won’t be afraid to show him that because you’ll see that he feels the same way.
7. You’ll learn each other’s love language
In the beginning, you’re still trying to adapt to one another. You’re looking for the right ways to express love to each other and you’re trying to figure out what makes your partner the happiest.
But after dating for three months, you’ll learn each other’s love language. Actually, you could say that you’ll master the art of it.
Maybe your guy isn’t a fan of sweet words and doesn’t know how to show love that way. However, he always makes sure to bring you a small gift, even if it means just picking a flower for you.
As a result, you’ll learn how to appreciate his acts of love, even if you’re the type who expresses love through words.
This is all a part of your growth as a couple. It helps you understand each other better, which reduces the number of misunderstandings you’ll face in your relationship.
Signs your relationship won’t last after the first three months of dating!
Even if you apply the 3-month dating rule to your situation, no one can guarantee that you’ll end up in a serious relationship. The only thing that this rule allows you is to figure out better what you actually want to do after spending 90 days with this person.
Do you want to move forward and make things official or do you want to break up for the sake of your well-being?
If you see any of the following signs, there’s a chance that your relationship won’t be able to stand the test of time.
1. Your partner isn’t consistent with his communication
One day, everything seems to be going fine. You exchanged some messages and he even called you before going to bed.
But for the rest of the week, your partner went completely missing. It’s not that he didn’t text you much but he actually didn’t text you at all.
At one point, you even got scared that something might’ve happened to him.
Then, all of a sudden, he reappeared in your life. However, he failed to give you any explanation as to why he went MIA.
Since you’re still at the very beginning of getting to know each other, this behavior is a huge red flag. If he’s not willing to keep in touch right now, then what can you expect from him in the future?
Keeping the communication going is a sign that he wants to hear from you and get to know you better. As a result, you know what it means when he fails to stay in touch with you.
2. Your partner seems to pretend to be something he’s not when he’s around you
As you get to know each other better, you start to feel more comfortable with each other. This means that you no longer feel afraid to show who you actually are.
But it looks like your partner is still wearing a mask whenever he’s around you. You desperately want to see his real face but he keeps giving you the best version of himself, the one that he needs to pretend to be.
This could mean one of two things…
He either still doesn’t feel ready to be himself with you and he needs more time. Or he doesn’t have any intention of opening up to you because he doesn’t have serious intentions with you.
You can wait some time and see if things change but if they don’t, then there’s a chance that your relationship won’t work.
3. Your partner isn’t trustworthy
We all want a partner we can trust, someone we can rely on when times get tough. But your guy doesn’t seem to want to be that for you.
Every time you ask him to help you with something, he makes a promise and then bails on you. He’s never there to listen to you and help you with the situation you’re going through.
It feels like you have to beg him to act the way he’s supposed to and that’s not something you want to keep doing.
The chances are that your relationship will fall apart and you won’t make it past the three-month point. No matter what rules you apply, when you’re not meant to be, you can’t force it.
4. Your partner doesn’t make any future plans
As you get to know each other better, you have a wish to make your partner a part of your future. You make plans with him and think of all those things that you could be doing together.
But your guy doesn’t seem to feel the same way about you. You never hear him making plans for the two of you, since everything he talks about are plans with his friends.
I’m sorry to say it but it looks like you won’t make it past three months, if you even get there in the first place.
5. Your partner doesn’t make you a priority
When you start dating, you’re not supposed to neglect your whole life for this person you just met. But you also shouldn’t ignore this person completely just because you want to lead your own life like before.
Instead, you’re supposed to create a balance between equally committing yourself to both aspects of your life. But your guy seems to be putting you last, while his hobbies, sport, and friends come first.
This isn’t a good sign, especially because you’re still at the very beginning of your relationship. It only goes to show that he doesn’t have serious intentions, as he’s obviously not willing to make you a priority.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t change this. There’s no 3-month dating rule that can help you with a guy who simply isn’t interested in having a future with you.
