Think aloud
If you’ve ever found yourself on a date with a woman who was showing clear signs of anxiety and stress then you probably want to know the answer to the following question: Why does a girl get nervous around a guy?
The first time you saw her, she probably looked like the most attractive woman you’d ever seen. But as you started to talk to her, you realized that she wasn’t as confident as you thought she would be.
It became obvious that she was incapable of holding eye contact and she probably kept fidgeting in her chair. Her body language showed serious signs of nervous behavior even though you couldn’t understand why.
Everything seemed to be going well except that it was clear she didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin. Now, you want to know why this keeps happening since you’ve probably been in the same situation many times.
Why does a girl get nervous around a guy? Do you make her uncomfortable or is it a result of low self-confidence? Can you do anything to calm her feelings of nervousness or is it simply a part of her personality?
Let’s find out the answer you’re looking for. That way, you’ll have a bit more understanding about the opposite gender and the emotions they’re dealing with.
Here’s why a girl gets nervous around a guy
As human beings, we all tend to get nervous from time to time. Sometimes, it’s an emotion you can’t control, no matter how hard you try.
Usually, the moment you leave your comfort zone, you start to feel anxious about what’s going to happen next, and getting into a new relationship can easily trigger this feeling of unease. You’re trying to impress this new person and show them why you’re a great choice for them but a part of you starts to experience this nervousness.
Now, you probably understand that a woman can’t control her anxiety, even if she wanted to so you shouldn’t see it as a bad thing or a red flag that something’s wrong. However, if you get a better understanding of the girl’s feelings, then you’ll be able to help her reduce her nervousness.
So, here are some of the reasons why a woman feels apprehensive while she’s on a date with you.
1. It’s your first date
First dates are terrifying. No matter how many dates she’s been on, the moment she goes out with a guy for the first time ever, she’s likely going to be nervous about it.
Her only goal is to make it to the second date. At this time, one of the main things a woman will worry about is saying something wrong.
Until then, you won’t be able to see her for who she really is as she’ll probably be doing her best to impress you. And when doing that, she doesn’t think that being herself is the way to go.
It doesn’t really matter how well she thinks of herself. The chances are that every woman feels anxious on her first date.
​She knows that she only has one chance to leave a good first impression and that’s why she tries so hard. She wants to show you that she deserves to get to know you better.
When you think about this, you’ll realize that she’s probably put herself under a lot of pressure. If you don’t call her out for a second date, she’ll think it’s her fault.
So, there’s your answer. If it’s your first date and you notice she’s acting nervous, the cause of that is the situation she’s in. She’s simply trying to impress you and get herself another date with you.
2. It’s her first date in a very long time
Another reason why a girl gets nervous around a guy can be because it’s her first date in a very long time. She’s completely forgotten how it feels to be dating someone, which makes the whole experience seem worse than it is.
Maybe she went through a terrible break-up years ago and hasn’t dated at all since or perhaps she felt unlucky trying to find the one and decided to stop going out with men. No matter the reason, when a woman gets nervous around a guy, there’s a chance that she hasn’t been with one in a long time.
Right now, her anxiety is playing with her so she doesn’t know what to do or say or how to behave. That’s why you’ll probably face a few moments of awkward silence since she won’t have any idea what to say to you. The entire situation makes her nervous even though she’s a grown woman.
Deep down, she knows that she shouldn’t feel this way and that her nervousness is unreasonable and completely unnecessary. But when your nerves decide to be the boss of you, there’s not much you can do. You can only go along with it and hope for the best.
So, that’s exactly what she’s doing. She’s battling with herself, trying to calm herself down and convince herself that everything’s going to be fine.
And if you make all of the right moves and successfully get her to relax, by the end of the night, she’ll finally stop fidgeting like crazy and her eyes won’t keep running away every time they stumble across yours.
3. She likes you a lot
Since you’re trying to figure out why a girl gets nervous around a guy, you’ll probably like this answer. Honestly, the chances are that she likes you maybe even more than you think.
To be sure that this is the right answer, you have to pay close attention to her body language. You have to observe the way she acts around you.
Does she mirror every move you make? When you reach for a glass, does she do the same or when you face your body a certain way, does she follow your lead?
Now, pay attention to her eye contact. Does she look away the moment you stare at her? Or maybe she decides to keep her eyes locked with yours but it doesn’t really last for long?
These all go to show that she’s already fallen for you, which makes it harder for her to act natural. She doesn’t want you to know how much she likes you and it feels like you can see that in her eyes.
That’s why she constantly looks away since she doesn’t want you to know the truth that’s hidden inside of her. She doesn’t want you to realize that she’s into you.
If you notice that she does any of these things then there’s a chance that she likes you and that’s the exact reason why she feels nervous around you.
4. She’s self-conscious
A girl gets nervous around a guy because she becomes self-conscious. Her looks, behavior, or actions – it all starts to worry her.
What if you don’t like the way she’s dressed or if you think that her make-up is too much? What if she says something wrong and pushes you away? All these things start to bother her and she starts to feel nervous because of them.
In this case, you should have a decent amount of understanding for her. Going out with a guy you like is never an easy thing for a woman. Most of us start to get self-conscious the moment we realize we’re going to be in the company of a nice guy.
Suddenly, we notice every single flaw on our body and we focus all of our attention on them. No matter how confident we usually are, being around a guy changes us completely.
These words are coming from a woman who’s been in the same situation many times in her life. If anyone knows anything about nervousness then that’s me.
So, the next time you’re out with a girl and her anxiety overtakes her, please be patient with her. Recognize that at that moment, she’s probably thinking the worst about herself and she’s conscious of every move she makes.
Just keep the conversation going and make sure not to make her feel any more uncomfortable. As she relaxes, she’ll start to feel like herself and that’s when you’ll meet the real version of her.
5. She’s afraid she may say something wrong
A girl gets nervous around a guy because she’s afraid she may say something wrong. And when you’re still trying to impress someone, the wrong move can cost you more than you can afford.
She probably feels insecure and doesn’t think that she can hold your attention. Due to that fear, she may start saying nonsense or words that she would usually never say. This realization makes her feel physically sick and that’s why she acts nervous whenever she’s around you.
So, the problem isn’t in you but in the fact that she could say something that would push you away. At least that’s what she thinks.
In this case, besides being nervous, she also may decide to keep quiet. As long as she’s not saying anything, there’s no chance that the wrong words will come out of her mouth, right?
So, you may end up out with a girl who’s too nervous to talk because she’s scared of what she may say. And even though it’ll seem like a hard task, once you start talking and prove to her that you’re easy to be around, she’ll start coming out of her shell.
After that, her nervousness will start to disappear and hopefully everything will be all right.
6. She’s socially awkward
Social awkwardness is one of the worst enemies of a good conversation. When a woman’s dealing with this, she may come off as uninterested and distant when in reality, she simply has social anxiety.
She doesn’t know what to say to keep the communication going. Even though she wants to get to know you better, she doesn’t know how to do that.
She’s bad at small talk and starting a conversation about serious issues also doesn’t suit her. So, whatever she tries, it doesn’t seem to go the way she hopes.
Due to everything that’s going through her head, she’ll end up looking nervous or anxious. But the bottom line is that she simply doesn’t feel comfortable in social situations.
Leading a conversation isn’t something she’s good at and it always takes her a bit more time to get to know a person better. After that, she’ll show you her real face.
7. She’s insecure
Insecurity is a huge problem in today’s world. Surrounded by all these seemingly perfect humans in the online world, many women start to doubt themselves from an early age.
This is one of the reasons why a girl gets nervous around a guy. She simply doesn’t feel like she’s good enough.
From her point of view, she’s just an average woman who doesn’t have much to offer. Her confidence is extremely low so she doesn’t think highly of herself.
For these reasons, she gets nervous whenever she’s around a guy. She doesn’t know how to behave in the company of a man and it all becomes even more complicated if she starts developing feelings for him.
That’s when she’ll retreat into herself completely and avoid any communication since she doesn’t even think that he could like her for who she is. So when a man decides to talk to her, she’ll start to feel like a lost cause.
The anxiety will overtake her and her nervousness will increase right away. And from that point on, she’ll feel like running away from the guy and hiding in her safe space.
8. She’s already had a negative experience with another guy
Having a negative experience with a certain guy can be the reason why a girl feels nervous whenever she’s around any other man. The memories of her trauma are deeply rooted in her mind and she can’t escape them.
No matter how much she tries to explain to herself that she’s not dealing with the same man, it all ends up being in vain. The only thing she can think of is the previous incident that changed her forever.
It could be that the guy cheated on her and now she’s scared to get close to someone because she thinks he’ll do the same. She truly believes that every new relationship will end the same way.
Maybe she had an abusive partner who had a serious impact on her. He changed her life but also made her doubt herself. He probably affected her self-image and made her lose trust in everyone.
In that case, being around any other guy will simply evoke all these memories. It’ll make her remember everything she’s been through since she doesn’t want the same thing to happen ever again.
You need to understand her since she’s simply too scared to let anyone in. She’s already suffered enough and doesn’t want to relive the same old painful experiences.
9. She overthinks every step she takes
An overthinking girl will get nervous around a guy simply because she’ll think about every possible outcome. All these questions will be roaming around her head as she’ll be trying to figure out every possible scenario.
What if she does something wrong? What if her behavior means you reject her? Or what if you don’t like her for who she is?
She probably likes you a lot but her overthinking certainly has more control over her. That’s why she doesn’t know how to be relaxed whenever she’s around you.
The moment she decides to be herself, her mind tricks her into believing that she’s making a mistake. What if she ruins any chance of seeing you again? What if you think that she’s boring or if she pushes you away with her words?
Dating an overthinking woman is never easy but if you stick around for a while and prove to her that you’re not going anywhere, you’re going to meet the real her.
That’s when you’ll understand how it feels to be with someone who loves unconditionally, as overthinkers are usually like that. They may think carefully about every move they make but they’ll give you their heart without hesitation.
10. She’s afraid you may reject her
Why does a girl get nervous around a guy? Well, it could be that she’s afraid of rejection so she needs to consider her every next step.
That’s why she’s anxious about everything she says or does. She simply doesn’t want you to reject her.
She doesn’t want you to tell her that she’s not what you’re looking for. Honestly, that’s the last thing she wants to hear coming from your mouth.
The reason why she’s this afraid of rejection could be that she went through the same many times in her past. As a result, she’s well aware of how it feels when someone breaks your heart.
She knows what it feels like to be hurt by someone you like and she doesn’t ever want to go through the same. As a result, she’s so anxious about everything she does.
The bare thought of being able to lose you makes her feel nervous so she does whatever she can to not find herself in that situation again.
Sometimes, it turns her into a woman who doesn’t know how to control her nervous outbursts so she simply keeps quiet. That way, she believes she won’t be able to say anything wrong that would make you reject her.
11. She’s intimidated by other women
Looking around herself, she sees all these gorgeous-looking women to whom she thinks she can’t compare. No matter how hard she tries to ignore these thoughts, they still keep following her.
Every time you wave to a girl on the street, she starts to think that you’re going to reject her for the sake of dating this other female. She’s intimidated by every woman who walks by you because she believes they’re all better than her.
That’s why she’ll act all nervous whenever she’s around you. She doesn’t want to think that you’re going to stop seeing her the moment someone new walks into your life and no matter how hard she tries, these thoughts won’t go away.
So, believe it or not, a girl gets nervous around a guy whenever she feels threatened by competition. And when her self-confidence is low then every possible woman feels like a rival.
If you want to calm her down, you should simply show her that she has nothing to worry about. Show her that you like her and she’ll instantly feel less anxious about this whole thing between the two of you.
12. You make her uncomfortable
The reason why a girl gets nervous around a guy could be that your behavior makes her uncomfortable. I know that this may seem impossible but bear with me for a moment.
I know that we all want to protect ourselves and when someone accuses us of something (such as making another person uncomfortable), we often instantly reject it. But there’s a possibility that you’re doing something that makes your date feel nervous around you.
Even if you’ve never seen it as an issue for concern before, there’s a possibility that it affects her. Maybe you come off too strong and you’re unaware that you intrude on her personal space. Perhaps you talk too loud, which makes her feel uneasy.
It could also be that you stare at her for longer than normal. If you never take your eyes off her, she may start to feel uncomfortable with your behavior.
As a result of any of these, she’ll start to show signs of nervousness, even though I’m pretty sure that you’re not doing it on purpose. It’s simply part of your behavior and it’s not your goal to make her feel upset.
But she could feel that way because she isn’t used to this kind of behavior. So she’ll shut down, try to push you away, and eventually, show you that your actions make her anxious.
The best thing you can do right now is observe your behavior and try to figure out whether you’re doing anything that may affect her. Change that and right away, you’ll see a change in her behavior as well.
