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When You’re Not Suicidal, But You’re Tired of Living

You know you’re not suicidal. You would never hurt yourself nor have you ever even thought of ending your life.

But you’re exhausted.

Even when you get a full eight hours of sleep (naps included), you still wake up feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck. You can barely get through the morning.

You don’t want to die, but you barely eat because you’re not hungry. You have no desire to take your life, but you burn yourself while cooking more often than you should. You’re not careful when you cross the street because you could care less about getting hit.

When you take a shower, you let it burn your skin until it grows raw. You barely talk to friends and when you do, you’re not as lively as you’d like to be. All the conversations feel empty and when you head home, you feel even more numb.

You don’t want to commit suicide, but you have no interest in what once gave you joy. You basically have to force yourself to do your favorite hobby or anything that you used to love for that matter. Listening to music isn’t exciting, you can’t keep up with shows on Netflix, and even thinking about going to the movies fills you with dread.

You don’t want to die, but living has become a chore. You barely wash your hair and you don’t think a whole lot about how you dress. The bags under your eyes grow deeper and more prominent.

You’re not suicidal, but you’re sick and tired of life and that’s just as serious.

If you’ve stopped caring for yourself to the point where you’re letting yourself fall apart, it’s time to take a step back and seek help. Because even though you’re not going to kill yourself, you’re still hurting yourself which may lead to the idea of suicide if it continues.

As exhausting as life is, it’s not impossible to heal and get your energy back. Talk a friend, try something brand new, get spiritual, fall back in love with yourself, whatever it takes to get better, do it.

You deserve to live a life you love and enjoy.

When You’re Not Suicidal, But You’re Tired of Living

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Wednesday 7th of April 2021

I hate that all the things I used to live for have become exhausting. I hate it most of all because those things used to be my safe space, but now I can't go back to it without feeling tired. I'm just so sick of life and its woes.


Sunday 21st of March 2021

Fuck it. Fuck it all.


Thursday 18th of March 2021

I’m tired of the depression roller coaster. I honestly don’t even believe I’m depressed. Rather, I see this world for what it is... a land of make-believe BS. The sheer pointlessness is deafening and suffocating. I’m not at all afraid to die. I am a hospice nurse and have witnessed lots of death and it really is no big deal. It’s scary for the people left behind who haven’t bothered to come to grips with their own mortality. So, I would love to just get it over with. The problem is access to enough drugs do get the job done or opt for something really messy. I guess my only fear is that I will survive my attempt even though I will have a copy of my DNR with me and written across my chest as well. It’s really difficult to OD on enough of anything other than IV morphine to get the job done. Absolutely nothing holds my interest. I can barely move, I used to be a figure builder. I live in the mountains and the thought of a hike is literally unthinkable.... I work enough only to make my bills, barely. I’m losing my house and my car blew up yesterday and I don’t care. I just want out.


Tuesday 16th of March 2021

I think in order to be human is to suffer. Isn't that it? The psychopaths love it here and they don't understand why anyone wouldn't because they are playing the game and loving it and don't have to contend with guilt, love, loss. The rest of us look on and think look at that guy he's a complete piece of shit and he's rocking it. So not only is this life unfulfilling but we are watching the most foul people in the universe prosper. I'm not positive but its looking to me like this place just might be hell, and not liking it is a sign you are getting better. The birds are nice, the planet is beautiful, but its contaminated with awful people.


Saturday 13th of March 2021

its all unimportant we fuss, fight, cry, laugh on this ball of rock obiting a sun that will eventually erase all of us and all we've ever accomplished. It is all for naught. time to end it and get it over with