Think aloud
When a guy ignores you but likes you, it’s like a mind game that you can’t process however hard you try. Why would someone who actually finds you attractive do something so weird?
Let’s be honest for a moment, you know just as well as I do that women do the same thing. We play hard to get and wait to see how much the guy is actually interested in us.
But why would he ignore you in the first place? Is it really so important to avoid contact to catch your attention?
You’re even considering the possibility that he doesn’t like you at all. That he’s just giving you the cold shoulder to convey his disinterest in you. Everyone says that he likes you, but you’re wondering if a guy would actually act this way if he’s into you.
You want your fairy tale type of love, but you’re not going to get it if you’re dealing with a dude’s insecurities. If anything, you’ll get the exact opposite.
But you’re adamant in your decision to never make the first move because you’re scared of looking too clingy. So, what now?
Is there an explanation for his behavior? Or should you just consider yourself an honorable member of the friend zone?
Let’s figure out what it means when a guy ignores you but seemingly likes you.
What does it mean when a guy ignores you but likes you?
1. You misunderstood his behavior
There’s a good chance that you just misunderstood him. What if he doesn’t like you at all, but you’re clinging on to the fact that you did flirt with each other for a while?
You thought that his body language conveyed a message, but you were obviously wrong.
Or maybe, you thought he was going to text you often, but you didn’t listen when he told you that he’s not online because he hates social media? There’s a good chance that all of this is a plausible explanation for his behavior.
Sometimes we selectively hear and see the things we want to because we really like someone. I’m not calling you delusional, I’m just saying that you should probably re-evaluate his words and actions before.
You can’t know if someone likes you unless you hear it from them. His feelings aren’t something that you can speculate about and then come up with the right answer.
When a guy ignores you when you thought he likes you, there’s a good chance that you just didn’t get the memo. He may have told you indirectly that he wasn’t interested in you as much as you wanted him to.
2. He’s too busy to talk to you
I know what you’re thinking: “Everyone has time to respond to texts! It takes less than 5 seconds!”
I would completely agree with you. When a guy likes you but ignores you, the truth behind it could be that he’s been overwhelmed with work to the point where he can’t even take his phone out.
I hear you, though: Could that be a good enough explanation? I mean, we live in a day and age where we’re attached to our phones. We always know where they are because they’ve somehow become an entire extension of us.
So, when someone tells you that they’re too busy for you, you kind of get suspicious. Your only plausible explanation is that they don’t want to talk to you at all.
Sometimes, you have to give a guy the benefit of the doubt. Don’t just stereotype him as “just another guy” when he actually may be going through a tough period in his life.
People have to work hard on their careers in order to get everything done and to have enough time to relax. He’s probably working hard to achieve his goals, so you should understand him.
3. He doesn’t want anything serious
When a guy ignores you but likes you, you know that something isn’t right. He may have even told you he’s into you, but you’re not sure if you should believe him.
My opinion is that a guy would only play this stupid game if he doesn’t want anything serious with you. He doesn’t want to fall for you because that would only make him more vulnerable, which he doesn’t want.
This is especially true if he’s a younger guy. He wants to live his life to the fullest and if he had to settle down with a girl now, that would only mean that he’d miss out on something.
Behavior says a lot about what a guy feels for you. A guy who ignores you may like you, but he knows if he got to know you better, he would only fall in love. And he doesn’t want that.
You’re baffled by this because you don’t understand these mixed signals. A lot of guys would agree that this man obviously isn’t there for the long run.
4. He got cold feet
Another very plausible reason a guy is ignoring you could be because he got cold feet. He only wanted a hook-up, but now he realized how amazing you are.
It can be very intimidating to this kind of guy when he meets an amazing woman. He doesn’t understand how you’d want a romantic relationship with him, so he gives you the silent treatment to avoid being the first to be rejected.
After spending time together, he feels that you’re too good for him, even though he may never admit it to you or himself. He’s so scared of talking to you because he knows that you’ll immediately realize that you’re better than he’ll ever be.
He doesn’t even want to text you back, because he believes he’ll get the upper hand this way. He doesn’t know that he’s only being stupid and that you’re losing the little bit of interest you had in him.
Now, he ignores you as if it’s his freaking job, but it was apparent that this guy liked you. The last thing you thought would happen is that he’d get cold feet and run away.
5. He’s playing hard to get
When a guy ignores you but likes you, there’s a good chance that he’s just playing hard to get. He wants to make sure that you’ll put some effort into obtaining his favor.
So, when he senses you’re not as interested in him as he is in you, he’ll play a little bit with you. It’s not as easy to understand this because you want to talk to him, but his games make it hard for you to approach him.
But, how many times have your friends given you the same advice? Whenever there’s a guy that you’re into, they always tell you to play hard to get because guys love the chase?
He may believe the same thing about women, too. He’s doing this to show you that he won’t always be available, so you put effort into making him like you.
It’s a twisted game that we somehow think is fun. Why can’t people just be themselves and admit when feelings are involved? Wouldn’t it make life so much easier?
I guess he believes that this is his perfect way to make you obsessed with him. Meanwhile, you know for a fact that things aren’t that simple.
6. He doesn’t like you enough
Okay, hear me out. I know that this isn’t something that you’re ready to consider, but what if he doesn’t like you enough? Generally, when a guy likes you but ignores you, there’s something in his behavior that still suggested that he’s interested.
However, this one couldn’t care less. He replies to you when you text him first, but that’s about it. The next day, he won’t even try to reach out to you. If he really did have strong feelings towards you, he wouldn’t be able to stay silent for so long.
You could be thinking that you’re just moving too fast, but he doesn’t even bother to open your text messages. He obviously sees something that he doesn’t like and he doesn’t want to make a huge deal about it.
I know that it’s hard to comprehend when your self-esteem gets shattered in these situations. I mean, why wouldn’t he like you? You’re a catch!
Either way, it’s his loss.
7. There’s someone else in the game
Okay, don’t freak out. Take a deep breath. It’s not the end of the world.
However, there could be someone else in the game.
When a guy likes you and yet ignores you, you want to believe that it’s because of something other than him actually being in love with someone else. Someone like an ex that he’s not over or a new girl that he likes more than you.
Whatever the case, he could be in love with someone and that girl owns his heart to the fullest. You’re just interesting enough to him to take his mind off of the fact that he can’t have her for some reason. Those days when he ignores you are actually the days when he’s happy with her.
When someone else is involved, it’s hard to keep communicating with the girl that obviously likes him (which is in this case you). He has to chase the other one, so you fall in second place.
I’m sorry to be so blunt, but it’s quite possible that this is the case. You probably saw the signs because he must have told you about her at one point or another, but you chose to ignore it.
8. He doesn’t think you’re into him
What are the chances he’s thinking you’re not that into him? I mean, your behavior could tell him that his efforts are in vain. Either you were the one to ignore him or you said something to hurt his feelings and now he doesn’t want to text you anymore.
The best relationship advice anyone can get is to always reciprocate someone’s behavior. If you want someone to treat you right, then you must do the same in return.
When a guy feels like he doesn’t stand a chance with you because of the things you did or said, it’ll only create a bigger issue when you do catch feelings. Don’t push him away by being too unavailable.
Your love life should consist of instances where you’re able to flirt with someone and they return your efforts. The only thing that you can do in this situation is to be upfront about it and bite the bullet – text him first!
9. He’s not confident enough
If he’s an introvert then he may not feel the urge to talk to you so often. However, if he’s a shy guy who doesn’t have any self-esteem, you may have a problem on your hands.
He’ll never make the first move because he feels like he’s just bothering you. There’s no way he’ll believe he can approach you because he considers you too good for him.
When a guy ignores you but likes you, it could be because he’s lacking in the confidence department. He gets extremely anxious when he has to text you or approach you at a party.
It’s easier to pretend like you don’t exist than become shaky and sweaty from your mere presence. So, he chooses the safer option.
When you spend a lot of time in your head and it’s not the friendliest place in the world, you start to doubt everything about yourself. That’s exactly why he doubts that you’d ever like him as much as he likes you.
Maybe you should try talking to him about this and telling him that it’s okay. Even though it may be a little awkward for you, it’s definitely easier on him than to always second-guess himself.
10. You’re nothing more than a friend
Did he just friend-zone you? It doesn’t seem likely, but what if…
When a guy appears to like you yet ignores you, it could be because he doesn’t like you romantically. He likes you like a sister or as someone he enjoys spending time talking to more than anything.
This happens when you’re not attracted to that person and you don’t develop anything more than platonic feelings. He may not even see you as an option, so he shuts down your advances before they can turn into something more.
You’ll know that this is the case if he stops you from flirting with him. Whenever you say something suggestive, he makes sure to quickly change the topic.
He rejects you as nicely as he knows how because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, even if you’re heartbroken. He probably doesn’t even know how deep your love for him goes.
There’s nothing you can do about this. There’s no way for you to influence the way someone feels about you, especially if they already know you and they’ve made up their mind.
I’m sorry.
11. He’s been hurt before
When a guy likes you but goes ahead and ignores you, it could easily be because he’s been hurt badly in the past and he doesn’t know how to deal with things. Maybe his ex-girlfriend was the one to break up with him and didn’t want to have anything to do with him.
If that’s the case, it doesn’t matter how hard you try to catch his attention – that hole in his chest is bound to surface sooner or later. It’s just not that simple to fall in love again when he knows how painful a breakup actually is.
He likes you but he doesn’t want to like you. He doesn’t like the vulnerability that comes with liking you and confessing his love for you. So, now that he has you in his life, he has to protect himself and his heart from potential pain.
It’s easier than to go through that misery once more.
12. He’s overwhelmed by his feelings
It’s no secret that men don’t know how to behave with their emotions. They don’t know how to feel them, how to express them, or how to find a healthy coping mechanism for them.
When they do experience strong emotions, they become like the Great Hulk. You’re laughing, so I’d like to believe that I’m not exaggerating.
His emotions are probably consuming him and he doesn’t know how to process what’s going on inside. This sounds like we’re talking about an actual toddler, but you know that I’m right.
When a guy starts to feel like he’s falling in love with you, he’ll find any way possible to ignore and push away those emotions. It’s easier to stay cold and distant than to actually be vulnerable with a woman. He doesn’t want to risk getting heartbroken or enduring the uncomfortable feeling of love.
To you and me, that sounds crazy, but to someone who’s emotionally unavailable or hasn’t felt like this in his life, it’s actually pretty normal. So don’t expect him to change overnight. He’s incapable of not avoiding his feelings right now.
When a guy ignores you in public but he says he likes you
When a guy ignores you but likes you it’s hard to decipher his behavior. Especially when it happens in public!
When he ignores you over texts, you can kind of give him the benefit of the doubt. You can find a number of excuses why he continues to avoid your texts. But when it happens in public, you feel completely dumb.
Okay, perhaps he’s extremely shy and introverted, so he doesn’t like to come up to a woman out of nowhere. However, he obviously made eye contact with you and now he’s making a fool out of himself.
There are many different things that could lead a man to act this way, but most commonly he’s just intimidated by you. He doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself, because he’d probably faint if he said something inappropriate to you.
Would you believe me if I told you that men are almost as scared of rejection as women are? He’s too scared to actually start a conversation, especially if you’re not alone. Your friends just add to his anxiety.
So, don’t hold it against him. If you feel brave enough, why not go up to him and see what happens?
Or text him that you saw him and ask him why he was acting so strange. You may just be surprised.
Final thoughts
Your concerns are completely valid. When a guy ignores you but says that he likes you, you feel like you’re part of some running joke. Is he completely losing his mind?
Aren’t we too old for these stupid games or are we just allowing the things we said we’d never allow to happen? Well, now’s the right time to set that boundary.
If he really likes you and wants to start something serious with you, then he won’t pretend like he’s a stupid kid who doesn’t know what he’s doing. Your only responsibility is to be upfront about your wants and needs, and if he can’t meet them, then it’s not your fault.
We spend so much time trying to convince people to like us and give us their attention, that we forget that we don’t need it. There’s someone out there who will give you his undivided attention. That man will remind you each day just how important you are to him.
You’ll never have to wonder why he’s ignoring you because he’ll know how to communicate his feelings. You don’t have to deal with this childish dude if there’s an actual man in your life just waiting to make you happy.
So, come on, chin up. It’s his loss either way and you should be happy that you dodged a bullet. When a guy ignores you but seemingly likes you, it’s just not worth the trouble. There’s too much to unpack there and you’re better off alone than with him.
