After a breakup, you must have thought about what to text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him, right?
Of course, you’ll miss him. You spend so much time with each other that staying away from him for a longer period of time seems like pure torture.
You might think of this as an issue – everyone around you is telling you to stop thinking about him and move on. But it isn’t that easy.
Sometimes the reason for your breakup and the way you’ve walked away from each other doesn’t matter. Your heart is longing for his presence and you’re so tempted to text him.
That temptation has made itself clear and it’s not leaving your mind. It’s like an itch that needs to be scratched.
But how do you text your ex when you miss him? Is there a safe way to text him to make him want you back?
You want your ex-boyfriend back, so why is it this hard to send that text?
Some people should never reunite after a breakup. Are you two a clear example of that?
When you send that first text message, you may just be giving him one more chance to break your heart. And this time it might be even more painful.
Because of that, you need to be careful when texting him.
There are different approaches you can take when you do decide that you want to text him first.
If the last fight you had was an intense one and you haven’t heard from each other since, it’s not that easy to rekindle the love and trust you two had.
Are you willing to give your relationship a second chance?
Should you text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him?
Love has a very easy way of blinding us and we tend to ignore the warning signs that say we shouldn’t want to get back together with them.
However, in what situations is it necessary for you to let go of him? When is it the right decision to ignore the fact that you miss him and move on?
If one of you cheated
You should never want a cheater back. People don’t say “once a cheater, always a cheater” for no reason!
Taking a cheater back is a recipe for disaster. If he chose another girl while he was still was with you, that wasn’t a simple mistake.
He did it knowing fully how hurt you’d be.
Texting a cheater after you two have split up is only the worst thing you can do because, let’s be honest, you’ll never be able to let it go. It’s just a bad idea.
If he was abusive
If your ex was an abuser, there is never any good reason to text him.
You’re holding on to those few happy memories you two shared and now finding excuses for his abuse.
There is no real excuse for his behavior. You deserve so much better than an abusive partner. Don’t let your fear of loneliness make you want him back.
If he lied to you
Every relationship is built on the foundation of trust. If you can’t trust your partner, why would you want to be with him?
You need to understand that liers don’t just change overnight.
A leopard doesn’t change his spots. People can’t change these parts of their personality that easily.
Liers don’t change out of the blue and you know it.
What is your purpose for texting your ex-boyfriend?
Now that we got that out of the way, we need to establish what your reason is for texting him.
These are just a few questions you need to ask yourself to make sure your heart isn’t playing tricks on you.
What is your true reason for texting him?
Do you want to get back together with him? If yes, then your reasons for texting him and your every step after that need to be calculated.
Do you just want to be friends with your ex?
If that’s the case, then you need to make sure that you communicate that to him so he doesn’t get the wrong impression.
You can be good friends with your ex, despite everything – if you play your cards right.
Do you just want to apologize for how things ended? If your answer to this one is yes, then an apology text is pretty straight forward.
Make sure that you have a clear view of your reasons and motives.
You could lose him as a partner or potential friend if you aren’t careful with your intentions.
There are certain text messages you can use to send him for the first time after a no-contact period.
What to text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him
1. “Hey (insert his name here), I just thought of you and I wanted to see how you were doing? What have you been up to?”
This is a safe bet. This is a text message you can send your ex when you miss him, but still want to guard your heart.
It’s really a harmless text message. You’re his ex-girlfriend and you have every reason to just randomly think of him.
He probably won’t expect the text message, but he will likely respond to something like this.
With this text, you’re putting the ball in his court and it’s on him to determine if the conversation continues.
He’ll most probably text you back replying to your question and ask you about your life.
You can easily keep the convo going from this that won’t seem like you’re too eager. You’ll seem cool and laid back, while also reconnecting with your ex.
2. “Hey (insert his name here), I really miss you. Can we talk?”
This is a bold text you can text your boyfriend when you miss him.
You are being vulnerable and you’re putting yourself out there. However, you are being very straight forward.
He is your ex and he knows you very well, so he’d know how to respond without hurting you if he is actually worth your time.
This is a way of letting him take the wheel and showing you that he deserves the effort you’re willing to put into starting your relationship again.
When he does respond to you, if he says that he wants to talk to you too, then you have the freedom to discuss all your emotions.
On the other hand, you’re also not beating around the bush – he’ll know precisely where your heart is at.
3. “Hey (insert his name here), I can’t stop thinking about the breakup and everything that went down. I just want you to know that I’m extremely sorry for everything. I really want to apologize properly if you’ll let me.”
You can send him this text when the reason for your breakup was something you did.
Of course, if you feel like you wouldn’t forgive someone for the things you did, then you shouldn’t text him.
However, if the time apart and the no-contact rule was more than efficient in helping you figure yourself out, then this is the perfect text to send him.
You’re telling him that you have thought about it and are willing to apologize properly. This means that you’re also initiating seeing each other again.
You’re telling him that the decision is up to him, which means that you’re putting his needs first.
If he’s the one who got his heart broken, then you do need to own up to your own faults and tell him that you miss him.
This is one of the best texts you can send your ex-boyfriend when you miss him.
4. “Hey (insert his name here), I heard about that promotion! You really worked so hard to get it. Congrats!”
If you still follow each other on social media and you see that he’s achieved something amazing, you’re more than welcome to congratulate him.
This is a very innocent text message you can send him. It will put a smile on his face.
Depending on how he responds, you can ask him about the job or what he plans to do next.
This conversation is very light-hearted and you can easily reconnect with your ex this way.
It’s a simple yet effective text message you can send your ex-boyfriend when you miss him, without looking overly enthusiastic about getting back together.
You can even propose to celebrate properly and offer to go out for drinks or something.
Of course, this is risky because you’re the one to start the conversation as well as initiate seeing each other.
He can decline your offer. You’re making the first move.
But what’s the worst thing that can happen? He says no? At least you’ll be left on good terms with your ex.
5. “It’s been so long, hope you’re doing fine! Would you like to grab dinner sometime if you’re in town?”
This isn’t as bold as an “I miss you” text, but it does indicate that you haven’t spoken in a while.
Months of no contact can throw a lot of people off and they could think that a text message like this is a very simple text.
Even though you miss him, you’re still being very polite.
You miss him, yes, but you’re asking him if he’d like to grab a bite to eat with you. You’re not demanding it.
There isn’t really a wrong way he can interpret this text. You don’t seem overly eager and you aren’t playing hard to get.
It’s a simple and genuine question.
6. “Hey (insert his name here), please let me know if we can talk about this. I would love to set things straight.”
You miss your ex and he’s been totally off the grid. You don’t even know if he’s in the same town anymore!
There isn’t a way to know if he will come back at all, but you still need to find closure.
This is your way to set things straight and try to talk things through.
It’s really a good text to send your ex-boyfriend when you miss him yet don’t know what to say.
A text like this can of course only be sent if you two have broken up and there was no contact afterward because of how heartbreaking the situation was.
When you do send him this text message, you’re giving him the option to decide for himself.
It shows that you’re okay with whatever your ex wants while at the same time letting your emotions be known.
7. “Hey (insert his name here), I know that things don’t look good right now. But if you need a friend, you know I’m always here!”
A text like this is for situations where he’s going through a rough time and you know that you can help him.
In this situation, don’t take advantage of his vulnerability.
He’s going through something and if you’re really his friend, you’ll be there for him unconditionally and without ulterior motives.
This is also an amazing way for you to start a friendship with your ex-boyfriend.
Sometimes you and your soulmate don’t have to necessarily be romantically involved, you can also be friends.
8. “Hey (insert his name here), sorry for not saying hi earlier in the cafe, I saw you were by yourself. Maybe we can grab a coffee together?”
We all know the dilemma of seeing our ex in public and not knowing how to respond.
If you are anxious about going up to him and striking up a conversation, the logical question that comes next is “should I text my ex?”
The time frame where you haven’t talked with each other might have been huge, so of course you’ll be insecure about it.
So this is the perfect text to send your ex-boyfriend when you miss him but don’t have the courage to break the ice face-to-face.
It’s a casual way of acknowledging the encounter you had and telling him that you’d love to see him again.
9. Send him a random meme or funny pic
You and your ex spent so much time together that you should know his sense of humor by now.
There is no one out there who’d get his jokes the way you do.
That’s why I trust you know what meme or gif would make him smile or laugh when he sees it.
A message like this can’t be interpreted the wrong way. You were trying to make him laugh.
When he does receive a text like this, he may just realize how much he’s been missing you this entire time.
No one gets him as you do and he might text back a pic of his own.
It’s quite easy to continue a light-hearted conversation after having started it off like this.
10. Send him a happy memory
If you choose to send him a photograph of the two of you from a happier time, it’s a double-edged sword.
He might interpret it in a way that doesn’t resonate with your intentions. He might think that you’re guilt-tripping him or trying to manipulate him.
But with the picture, you can send him an explanation that you really miss him and the time you spent together.
You can tell him you were going through old photos and happened to come across that one.
This is putting you in a very vulnerable state and you need to be prepared for that.
You can also send him a text if you are at a place that you both used to frequent.
You can write a text like: “Hey I’m at this cafe and it makes me think of that time you…” – whatever it may have been that’s significant for that exact place.
You have the complete possibility to put your heart out there and make him realize how much you miss him.
This is a powerful text to send your ex-boyfriend when you miss him and want him to know it!
11. A simple good night text
Why would a simple good night text mean anything? Well, when you send him a short-and-sweet good night text, he’ll know that you’re thinking of him.
A good night text is very intimate and meaningful. You’re wishing someone sweet dreams and a good night’s rest.
If you’re still wondering what to text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him, but you don’t want to come off as too eager or desperate, this is the perfect short message to send.
If he chooses to text you back, you’ll know that he wants to talk to you again.
On the other hand, if he doesn’t say anything, it’s still fine. You got a clear message from him, but you still reminded him that you exist.
He just might miss you more.
What NOT to text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him
You can miss your ex but still realize that you’re not in the right space currently to text him anything. Texts to definitely avoid are:
1. “Oops, wrong number”
This isn’t attractive or cute. This stunt can only be described as a petty attempt at getting his attention.
You’re not being straight-forward with your intentions and it will probably only irritate him. This doesn’t work in your favor and you know it.
2. “I know you have a girlfriend, but…”
What would you have done if you were with a man and his ex texted him saying she misses him? How does that look?
It doesn’t matter how much you miss your ex, if he’s moved on, then there isn’t a valid reason to text him even if you miss him.
You can miss someone and still choose to not be a homewrecker.
Even if they do break up one day, he’ll remember that you tried to come at him while he was in a relationship.
Respect yourself enough and choose to stay out of his business.
If they do break up, you are more than welcome to then check in on him and take your shot.
But if he’s in a new relationship, you don’t have the right to do that.
3. “I hope you regret breaking up with me.”
This is very aggressive and offensive. If you act like this and are invalidating his feelings, he won’t feel sorry for leaving you.
Texts like these make you look like you’re desperate for attention and affirmation.
You’re begging him to tell you that he regrets losing you. No one who knows they deserve love should be doing this.
You wouldn’t send a text like this if you knew it was his fault.
If you know you’re a catch, you’ll be happy that the man who didn’t know how to treat you right left.
When you tell him “I hope you regret it…” you’re doing yourself no favors.
4. “I met someone better.”
This is nothing but a feeble attempt at making him jealous. If you choose to send him this message, then you’re desperate to make him see what he lost.
Don’t be fooled. He can see right through your attempt.
Also, if he’s an intelligent individual, his immediate reaction to this will be to tell you that he’s happy for you.
He might also walk away from the conversation because this is obviously an attack on his personality and the way he treated you during the relationship.
You two are done. The relationship is over. You don’t have to compare your current partner to your ex if you’re that happy.
Will he come back when you say this? Probably not.
5. “I heard you’re going out with…”
First of all, why do you know that? Of course, we as women tend to stalk our exes like it’s our job. All of us have been guilty of this at least once.
However, he doesn’t have to know that.
If you were wondering what to text your ex-boyfriend when you miss him, this is definitely not it.
Stay away from bringing up his current love life, as it’s frankly none of your business. You are his ex, and as such, you shouldn’t care.
What to text your ey boyfriend when you miss him so much that you can’t stop thinking about him?
Here’s something simple, direct, and honest: “Hey (ex’s name)! I know we haven’t heard from each other in a while, but I’d really love to talk to you. Maybe we can make things work again if you give me a chance.”
Even if it doesn’t work out the way you wanted to, at least you’ll know you’ve tried.