Think aloud
Dating and getting to know a person better is a beautiful experience but sometimes it can be stressful and exhausting when you don’t know what a guy wants from you. If you want him to be head over heels over you, it’s important that you learn what not to do if you want him to chase you.
Nowadays, many men don’t even think that it’s their duty to make the first move, let alone chase after a girl. The truth is that a lady should never chase after a guy. She should take a step back and let him do the pursuing.
The dating scene has transformed a lot with the rise of modern technology and now everyone has the ability to stalk whomever they want, whenever and wherever they feel like it. Perhaps that’s why you’re looking for ways to shake things up a bit and turn the tables around.
Unfortunately, many women fall into the traps of players and manipulators whose only goal is to take advantage of them and then they leave, so it’s important to learn what not to do if you want him to chase you.
When you find yourself in a situation where feelings are involved, it’s tough to keep your cool and analyze your next step. The only thing you can think of is to always contact him and pour your heart out but that will only force him away from you.
You have to focus on your end goal and be patient that he’ll see the signs that you’re into him. Only then will you be able to make him commit to you.
What not to do if you want him to chase you
It’s very easy to lose a guy’s attention. One wrong move and everything that you’ve built can break apart into a million pieces.
Even if you think you’re doing everything you can to attract him, there’s always some room for improvement. That’s why you need to be careful not to repeat the following mistakes if you want him to chase you:
1. Don’t be possessive
Being possessive is something that’s a major turn-off for guys. You see, they love to have their freedom and it’s one of the reasons why they’re afraid to commit to a woman in the first place.
The moment they see a girl being possessive and trying to control them, they leave because they believe her intention is to take that freedom away from them. That’s why you need to be aware that being a controlling person will definitely scare him and he’ll quickly lose interest in you.
Instead what you should do is give him enough time and space, so if he says that he’s going out with his friends and that he may not be able to call or text you, don’t start an argument with him. Just let it be and enjoy your free time as well.
Remember that no one wants to be in a relationship with someone who’s possessive or controlling.
2. Don’t be cocky
Another thing that you should keep in mind is that men aren’t interested in women who are overconfident in themselves. Being too cocky and thinking that you’re better than him will drive him away and you won’t be able to get him back ever again.
Don’t forget that your goal is to make yourself more desirable and not appear as if you’re untouchable. So if you want to make him chase you, you have to show confidence but don’t be over the top.
It’s true that men are attracted to those women who exude confidence but they’re also attracted to those who seem approachable and open.
If your man doesn’t see any results from chasing you, then he’ll quickly lose interest and move on to the next girl. Your goal should be to seem confident in your own skin and express that through your behavior.
3. Don’t give him all your time
If a guy knows that you’ve devoted all your time to him, he’ll think that you don’t have a personal life or you don’t know how to have fun by yourself, which is a red flag to him.
You see, your life doesn’t end when you start a romantic relationship with someone. Even though you’re dating this guy and you want to give him all your time, that doesn’t imply that you should neglect all the other people who were a part of your life before you met him.
You’ve probably heard that when someone enters into a romantic relationship, they generally lose a friend or two but you need to avoid this, especially when trying to make him chase you.
The thing is that you’re still single and don’t have any obligations toward him. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. If you want to spend time with your friends or give yourself the alone time you need, then just do it.
Don’t be clingy or he’ll stop chasing after you. He needs to see that you’re not always available even if he’s available for you.
4. Don’t be too persistent
You may be madly in love with this guy because he’s charming, intelligent, and knows how to treat a lady but that doesn’t give you the right to be persistent and bother him every waking hour of the day. Don’t suffocate him or cross any boundaries that he already established with you.
Being clingy or needy will prove to him that you’re nothing special and he won’t chase you at all. In fact, he’ll quickly run for the hills because he wants a woman who’s the opposite of this.
Be laidback and accept whatever happens to you. Even if he doesn’t want to pursue you, you should be okay with that as it only shows you that he isn’t the one for you.
5. Don’t always play hard to get
If you want to make him chase you, you’ll have to play hard to get but you shouldn’t constantly do that. You have to know when to give a little.
That’s why you need to weigh up when it’s the right time to loosen up a bit and let him feel as if he’s making progress. Reward him at some point and you’ll see how confident he’ll be the next time you see each other.
I don’t necessarily mean that you should sleep with him but you can allow him to kiss you on the cheek or hold your hand while you’re walking down the street, for example.
6. Don’t be a negative nancy
A man will quickly lose interest in you if the only thing you ever talk about is your problems and nothing else. Your goal here is to make him chase you and not drive him away with your negative attitude or words.
There are so many bad things out there in the world but you have to focus on the positive and good ones only. That way, neither of you will be uptight and you’ll be able to create a positive environment in which both of you can show your true faces.
On top of that, you’ll get the opportunity to ask him whatever you want and you’ll get to know each other better at the same time. He’ll be flattered when he notices that you’re genuinely interested in his life and he’ll reciprocate the same way.
7. Don’t only flirt with him
I get that he’s the only one who occupies your mind right now and that you would do anything to be in a relationship with him but there are plenty of other fish in the sea, so remember that. That’s why you can’t only flirt with him as he may use that to his advantage and take you for granted later on.
If you want him to chase you, then flirt with other guys too. In his eyes, this will make you more desirable and he’ll be more determined to make you his girlfriend.
Even if he’s out with you, try flirting a little with the waiter or a friend of his. He has to see that you have other options as well.
Don’t seem like you’re just sticking to him and that you’ll never let go of him. After all, if he has feelings for you, then he’ll fight for you.
8. Don’t let yourself go
Many women let themselves go once they achieve their goal and have the man they want. They say that they don’t have time to work out and that they would rather devote that free time to him but that’s not how relationships work and you’ll never make him chase you if you let yourself go.
The fact is that men are attracted to women who feel good in their own skin. That’s why you should show your man that you’re confident and happy with how you look.
Always work on improving yourself, whether that be mentally or physically, What matters is that you look attractive when you’re with him so that he knows what he’ll lose if he doesn’t step up his game.
Also, don’t shy away from talking about yourself and your interests or hobbies, and remember to smile, so he can see that you’re enjoying your life to the fullest.
9. Don’t be too easy to please
Did he send you flowers to your workplace or buy you chocolates unexpectedly? I mean that’s sweet and great but don’t show him that’s all it takes to please you.
It’s okay if he does these little things to get your attention and impress you but that doesn’t mean you should lower your standards. The truth is you can’t put a value on the material things he buys for you and instead, you should value his gestures and the commitment he has for you.
A guy knows that a girl loves to receive gifts and that he has to do this if he wants to win her over but remember that no man can ever buy you. He has to prove that he’s worthy of your time with his actions and behavior and not the things he buys for you.
10. Don’t text him all the time
An important part of dating is how much time you spend texting each other. And even if he messages you often, that doesn’t mean you should too. It’s his job to chase you and not the other way around.
Of course, you can contact him all you want once you start a relationship with him but until then, you should keep your texts to a minimum.
Give him a hint that you enjoy messaging him by sending a couple of heart emojis and flirty texts but never initiate your conversations. That’s something he has to do if he wants to show you that he has feelings for you.
11. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not
Many people will pretend to be someone they’re not just to please others and make them fall in love with them. But after some time, those masks fall down and everyone reveals their true face eventually.
That’s why you don’t have to be the ice queen if you like to flirt. Just be who you are and let him decide whether he likes you or not.
I get that you want him to see you in the best light possible but if you act like someone you’re not, your relationship will be built on lies and you won’t be able to create a deeper connection with him.
Be who you really are even if that means losing the guy forever. The right man will embrace all your flaws and quirks and won’t force you to change anything about yourself.
12. Don’t reveal too much about yourself
On your first date, there’s no need for you to tell him everything about yourself, your past relationships, your hobbies, or what you like and don’t like to eat. If you do that, the guy won’t be interested in pursuing you anymore.
He may think that something’s wrong with you because you opened up to a complete stranger and that could also turn him off you.
This is the reason why you have to create an air of mystery around you and keep a few things to yourself. Being mysterious and giving him some hints about yourself will make him want you even more.
13. Don’t bring him down
Even though it often seems as if no words can hurt a man or his ego, that’s actually not true. You can’t be mean or insensitive and expect him to chase you.
Also, you can’t bring him down just to feel better about yourself. If you constantly tell him how he’s imperfect or not worthy of your time, he’ll lose interest in you and won’t even bother to chase after you, so instead, give him a compliment whenever he does something good.
It’s true that sometimes a guy needs you to boost his ego a bit and you can achieve that by letting him decide about the big things and letting him think he’s in charge. By doing so, you’ll give him the illusion that he’s the dominant one and he’ll think that you’re a woman he can always lean on.
