I applied the no contact rule to my ex, but what if he doesn’t contact me during that time?
Does that mean it’s over between us? If these questions are on your mind, I will be happy to answer them.
The truth is, when I wanted to use the no contact rule to get my ex back, the thoughts that troubled me were, “What if my ex doesn’t contact me during no contact?
What if he gets over me during that time?”
Let me first remind you of what no contact really means… It’s a rule that says you’re not allowed to contact your ex for at least 30 days.
Don’t call him, don’t text him, and don’t use social media to reach out to him.
The beauty of the no contact rule is that it can work both ways; it can help you move on, or it can help you get your ex back.
The trick is to try to move on either way.
I’m a big supporter of this rule because it saves you from losing your dignity and begging your ex to come back.
When you don’t contact him after the breakup, he might contact you and try to come back.
But what if he doesn’t contact you during no contact? You can look at the no contact period as a test of how much your ex cares about you.
If he does, the no contact period won’t stop him from coming back; on the contrary, it could get him to realize what he has lost.
He could realize that he will lose you forever if he doesn’t contact you and try to fix things.
If he doesn’t, the no contact period will help you move on more easily, and you won’t want him back anyway, at least not as badly.
Either way, when you ignore him for a certain period of time, he will start missing you, even if he doesn’t contact you.
Don’t get depressed if he doesn’t get in touch. No one said that no contact is easy, but it is very effective, and it’s for your own good.
What if my ex doesn’t contact me during no contact? Well, there are three possible reasons why he doesn’t do that.
He could just be stubborn, he could contact you but not right away, or he could be trying to get back at you.
Whatever his reasons are, it doesn’t really matter, because you need to be patient and start living your life without obsessing about it.
Let me tell you more about all this.
What if he doesn’t contact me during no contact?
The truth is, if he doesn’t get in touch, it’s not a bad thing, since you will have fewer worries on your mind.
You won’t have to be nervous and overthink about how you should react or act when he calls you.
It also saves you from the torture of listening to his stories about the things he has been doing without you.
He may call you just to talk about where he has been and with whom, and do you really want to know about that?
Not getting to hear from him again isn’t the end of the world; in fact, it’s a good thing.
You just have to stay positive and try to move on, because you should care much more about your well-being than his call.
Isn’t it so much more important that you feel good than for him to contact you?
What’s really the worst thing that could happen? Is it that he might not contact you ever again?
That would mean that he was giving you a sign that you shouldn’t spend your time hoping that the two of you will get back together.
You’ll have a chance to finally realize that he wasn’t right for you and to find someone who is.
By not being in your life anymore, your ex will allow you to let go of him, and you’ll move on much more easily.
During the no contact period, you shouldn’t focus on whether he will contact you or not.
The only thing you should be focused on is yourself and trying to move on.
If you do that, you will realize that you can be happy without him, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now.
You won’t be so eager to get back together, and if one day he tries to come back, maybe you’ll even reject him because you’ll know that you’re better off without him.
Don’t spend months of your life crying because of him or obsessing about him, because you’ll soon realize that there’s no reason for either.
When our partner leaves us, all of us get scared that we will never get the chance to talk to him again.
We constantly look at our phone, emails, and social media to find some signs that he still cares about us.
Unfortunately, instead of finding out what we had hoped for, most of the time, we find out that our ex-partner is having a blast without us, and when we do, it hurts us, and we want to get back together with him even more.
It makes us feel like we have just gone through the breakup, so it basically takes us a few steps back.
We then start believing that the only way for the pain to disappear is by contacting our ex and talking to him in the hope of getting closure.
What could be the harm of simply saying, “Hi,”? Well, in the world of breakups, a simple, “Hi,” can cause a lot of harm.
It actually raises our expectations to the point where we expect validation and love in return but most of the time, we won’t get that.
Our ex usually isn’t interested in having a conversation with us, so we get hurt because we don’t get what we were expecting.
This is why you should never break the no contact rule, especially if you’re still hurting and need validation from your ex.
You don’t need your ex’s help to get over the breakup; you can do it on your own, as long as you don’t contact him.
I won’t lie to you; it won’t be easy, but we’ve all been there, and we all survived, so you will too.
After a while, when you feel better, you won’t even want to talk to him, and you’ll be glad that he’s out of your life.
Instead of putting him first, you’ll put yourself first for a change.
You will prioritize your own emotional well-being so you won’t do anything that could jeopardize it… and calling your ex would.
After all, if he doesn’t contact you, he obviously doesn’t want to help you heal from the breakup, and he doesn’t want to get back together either.
He is only thinking about himself and his needs and wants, and you should do the same.
If he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, you shouldn’t want to have anything to do with him either.
I know that you probably only want to get him back, so all this is hard to hear, and you should know that I completely understand you.
All of us have been there, and your pain is perfectly understandable.
However, you need to understand that if your ex isn’t interested in being in your life, losing all hope for getting back together is good for you.
Once you lose that hope, you will lose the anxiety and pain that come with it.
That hope could set you back and make everything harder for you and it could even damage your health.
There’s no purpose to it, at least not a positive one, and it will only prolong your suffering.
Therefore, instead of focusing all your energy on someone who doesn’t want to be with you anymore, focus on moving on and starting over.
Show him that you’re fine without him, and you soon will be. Maybe you even won’t want him back after a while.
There are things that you can do right now to start feeling better, and if you’re wondering, “What if he doesn’t contact me during no contact?” then this is what you should do:
1. Don’t break the no contact rule
Whatever you do, don’t contact your ex just because he hasn’t contacted you.
For a successful recovery, you will have to deal with the breakup and try to move on.
Don’t give in to the temptation of reaching out to him and causing more damage to both of you because of it.
You need to have self-respect, and you need to respect your ex, too, so don’t break the no contact rule.
I know that you miss him a lot, but you must control yourself, no matter how hard it is.
This is the time in your life when you have to be strong, regardless of how difficult that can be.
Give him the time and space he needs, and help yourself heal, which you’ll be able to do if you stick to the no contact rule.
The no contact rule can be very effective, but that depends on you, your strength to let your ex be, your self-esteem and confidence, your understanding of the emotions you and your ex now have, and your willingness to rediscover your life’s purpose.
How hard the no contact period will be and how quickly you’ll manage to move on depends on these things, among others.
Don’t make post-breakup mistakes such as calling your ex, especially if you intend to beg him to come back.
He won’t, especially not then, and you will only cause yourself more pain.
Realize that everything will be even harder for you if you contact him because more pain means a longer period of recovery.
2. Don’t beg your ex to come back
You have to preserve your dignity and stay strong and independent because begging your ex to come back is one of the worst things you can do.
The only thing you’ll achieve by doing that is cause yourself more pain and cause him to be even less attracted to you than he is right now.
Leave him alone for now, and don’t let yourself get depressed.
He didn’t leave you without first thinking a lot about it, so you can’t get him back simply by crying in front of him.
Maybe he loved you just as much as you loved him, and you were in a long-term relationship, but that is in the past now.
Begging him won’t change his mind.
He has had negative emotions about you since the breakup, and they will stop him from remembering all the great times you shared.
All he remembers now are the problems the two of you had and the reasons for your breakup.
He needs to spend some time without you, to start missing you, and if you constantly bother him, he won’t get a chance to.
Trying to make him feel nostalgic or guilty won’t work, and it won’t make him come back to you.
Sometimes, when an ex is begged to come back, they do, but it almost always ends with them leaving again after no longer than a week.
If that happened to you, you would feel even worse than you feel right now, and you would realize that he only came back because he felt guilty and sorry for you.
The reasons for your breakup can’t suddenly disappear, no matter how much you beg him to come back.
All that the manipulation techniques and tricks can do is confuse and hurt your ex enough to return temporarily until he decides to leave forever.
The only trick that actually works isn’t a trick at all; it’s what’s in his heart. If your ex still loves you, he will come back, but you can’t rely on that.
3. Don’t ask for his help
You have to stay strong and pull yourself back together because you owe it to yourself and those who love you.
Show everyone that you can survive a breakup and become even stronger because of it.
Don’t risk ruining your self-esteem just because you want to reach out to your ex and don’t expect anything from him.
Does he expect something from you? Probably not, and neither should you expect him to help you survive the breakup.
Don’t rely on him to make you happy, because you must show that you are confident enough and have high enough self-esteem to find your own happiness.
You shouldn’t ask him for anything he isn’t required to give you.
Don’t ask him for regular check-ups, closure, support, or validation.
If he wanted to give you that, he would have already, and if he doesn’t want to, you shouldn’t ask him for it.
Maybe he made you a lot of promises, but making him feel guilty now won’t help you.
Don’t ask for his help, because if he wanted to help, you wouldn’t have to ask for it anyway.
He will willingly make all of this easier for you and try to help you become stronger if he wants to.
If he doesn’t, don’t try to extort him for his assistance.
If you do that, the only thing you’ll achieve will be to push him even further away from you and make yourself feel worse in the process.
If you ask your ex for help when he doesn’t want to help you, there’s no chance that the two of you will ever get back together.
Try to have enough self-control to prevent yourself from making post-breakup mistakes like this.
Let him be for as long as it takes, and don’t contact him at all.
4. If you break the no contact rule, apply it again
If it happens that you give in to the temptation and call your ex, apply the no contact rule again, as it can be effective the second time around as well.
This doesn’t mean that it’s okay to break it, because doing so will still make everything harder for you.
Try not to break the no contact rule at all, and it will help you move on faster and improve your chances of getting back together with your ex.
If you stick to this rule, you will be grateful to yourself for doing so after some time has passed.
Don’t break it, but if you happen to slip up anyway, start over with it, and stick to it this time.
5. Don’t be afraid if he doesn’t contact you during the no contact period
You will be perfectly fine if your ex doesn’t get in touch during the no contact period.
Maybe he won’t call you again, but on the bright side, it will save you from holding on to the breadcrumbs he would give you, which could only hurt you, and talking to your ex will set you back every single time.
Your wounds will remain open, and you’ll have hope for reconciliation until you do something that will push him away even further, or you’ll get tired of his breadcrumbs and push him away on purpose.
Don’t be afraid if he doesn’t contact you, whether it’s during no contact or after no contact.
As long as he is cold, angry, dismissive, impatient, exhausted or anything else that is negative, not talking to him is a good idea, and it will make you happier than talking to him.
If you were to talk to him, he would hurt you again, regardless of whether he would do so unintentionally or intentionally, which would make your recovery much harder than it has to be.
Give him some room to breathe and let him have some time for himself so that he can process the negative feelings he has had since the breakup.
Once those feelings have been processed, he will be able to have a normal conversation with you, but he has to be the one to initiate it.
Stay patient and don’t ruin everything just because being patient isn’t easy.
6. Keep in mind that you win either way
There’s no reason to worry about whether your ex will contact you during no contact or not because you win either way.
I already told you in the beginning that no contact serves two purposes; yes, one is to increase your odds of getting your ex back, but the other one is that you feel okay if he doesn’t.
The whole point of no contact is to help you be happy again, whether it’s by getting back together with your ex or getting over him.
It makes the process of moving on less painful and quicker.
Don’t obsess about what to do if your ex doesn’t call you during no contact, and don’t obsess about him in general.
Why would you worry so much about someone who obviously doesn’t worry that much about you?
7. Focus on yourself
Don’t worry about the things he is doing now that you’re not with him, and don’t be concerned with whom he’s dating or spending time with.
There’s no point in worrying about something you can’t control, and it could only harm your health.
Most importantly, worrying won’t change the outcome. He will either contact you or he won’t, and worrying about it won’t change it.
The only thing it can change is how you are feeling and how healthy you are because otherwise, it only causes harm.
This breakup could cause you to develop trust issues, but you shouldn’t let it.
Don’t let this relationship influence the ones you will have in the future. Focus on yourself and work on pulling yourself back together.
Help yourself enjoy life again and become independent.
Once you get over your ex, you’ll realize that you shouldn’t have wasted so much time crying over him and more importantly, you’ll realize that he wasn’t worth it.
Once you do, you won’t care one bit whether he’s ever going to call you or not, because you won’t want him back.
You’ll create your own happiness, and realize that you will find someone much better than him.
Just don’t break the no contact rule, stay strong and look forward to what the future has in store for you, because great things are ahead, even if you can’t see them now.