Think aloud
Have you noticed some of the signs your ex is testing you? Maybe you’re unsure of his behavior, so you came here for answers. Don’t worry, I got you covered.
Surviving a breakup is an “exciting” experience for each one of us. There are a bunch of emotions involved, some of them you never knew existed. You love your ex and you hate him at the same time. In one moment you’re devastated; in the other, you’re glad it’s over.
Your love was something beautiful, there’s no doubt about that, but every love story can come to an end and yours seems to be doomed. But, it is what it is; you can’t change anything now, or can you?
Thinking of him often is not doing you any favors, but you can’t stop no matter how hard you try. How are you supposed to shake off that feeling that maybe he was the one? Or are you simply thinking this way because he constantly makes you aware of his presence?
Whatever it is, you came here to check the signs your ex is testing you and in the next part, you’ll be able to read more about it.
15 actual signs your ex is testing you
I can assure you that you’ll notice when he starts paying more attention to you after the breakup. I mean, you probably did notice that since you’re here. So, what did he do? Was he asking around a bit too much? Did he reach out to you directly?
Maybe he’s playing that well-known hot and cold game, or perhaps he shows up wherever you are. If any of these reasons led you here, you may be right because all of them are signs that your ex is testing you. Are you ready to discover more details and win his game?
1. He checks up on you
Is your now ex-boyfriend texting you often simply to check if everything’s okay? Do you hear from your mutual friends that he keeps asking about you? Beware, because this is a sign your ex is testing you. Why am I saying this?
If he’s checking up on you, he wants to make sure he’s still a part of your life, one way or another. His intentions may be genuine, but take them with a grain of salt. You never know what’s actually happening in his mind and why is he trying to get in touch with you now.
Maybe he wants to check if he can have you back whenever he wants, or he’s trying to manipulate you. It could also happen that he wants to make his new girlfriend jealous, or simply have a fling. For some people, there’s a pleasure in chasing and perhaps he’s one of them.
So, before you jump to a conclusion and assume that he’s changed, analyze his true motive. Until you figure out the truth, answer casually if you want.
2. He’s asking for your help
If you and your ex stayed on good terms, he may occasionally ask you for help. That doesn’t have to be anything major, but rather some little things that you can do for him. He may ask you to help him pass the exam, or solve another problem that showed up while he was working on the project.
This way, he’ll be able to check if you still care enough to give him a hand when he needs it. Why is this one of the signs your ex is testing you? It’s pretty simple, if you decline it means that you don’t even bother to do him a favor and he can completely forget about getting back together.
However, if you help him, it may give him (false) hope that you still feel something for him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help him if you can. Rather, weigh your options and choose the best one.
3. He’s sending you mixed signals
This is classic – he’s still not sure what he feels towards you, so he’s going to do everything in his power to confuse you as well. And I’m not even joking.
Confused exes are the worst ones. You finally think you’re over him, and there he comes with a bouquet of your favorite roses or a box of chocolates. He says it’s not a big deal, it reminded him of you and he decided to get you some.
On the other hand, when you start reciprocating, he’s going to run away. Then, he’ll be back and withdraw again – welcome to the infinite loop of mixed signals!
He’ll make jealous scenes if he sees you with another guy, or he may question you a lot if he saw you from a distance with your new boyfriend. His interest in your love life will increase a lot and you’ll know that he has a reason behind it. I hope his plan isn’t harmful, but this is a clear sign your ex is testing you.
4. He’s stalking you on social media
Is he constantly liking your posts and stories, even commenting on some? Probably, the only thing left to do is for him to slide in your DMs, but he’s not going to do that (yet). He wants to get your attention and to see if you care enough to text him first.
Another thing that he can do is intentionally post photos of places you’ll recognize because you were together when he took that photo! If he’s bold enough, don’t be surprised if you get a notification that he tagged you in one of those photos.
Also, he may follow you and unfollow you from time to time, or play the “blocking-unblocking” game. By doing this, he wants to make you react and he doesn’t care if you’ll block him because he annoyed you, or if you’ll reach out and tell him to stop. Don’t accept this game because you’ll fall directly into his trap.
That way he may brag how you were the first one to approach him and the two of us know that’s not the whole story. So, choose not to reach out to him even though his online behavior annoys you. Try turning notifications off from him, it’ll help you a lot.
5. He’s bringing up memories you’ve shared
Did this happen while you were out with your mutual friends? Sometimes it’s quite difficult to avoid your ex-boyfriend and stick to the no contact rule, especially if your social circles intertwine. In that case, you won’t be able to avoid him at all.
(Un)fortunately, that gives your ex the perfect environment in which he can test you, so if you notice some signs, make sure you react accordingly.
He’s going to mention all the good memories you’ve shared and he’ll talk about them often. Try to politely smile and cut the conversation or shift it in another direction. It may not be easy, but your girlfriends can help you with this.
It’s normal that you lived the adventures worth mentioning, but there is a place and time for that. Being with your friends who clearly know you ended things, is not the best option. Even if you change the topic, he may mention it again when you’re alone.
When he starts doing this, he’s simply waiting for your reaction. If you share the memories you cherish the most, he may take it as a hint that you want to get back together since you’re also thinking about everything you’ve been through.
6. He’s asking deep, personal questions
This is, undoubtedly, one of the signs your ex is testing you. He’s going to ask you a lot of deep, personal questions to check what’s happening in your life. The main reason behind this is that he wants to make sure you still have some feelings for him.
He’s going to use this opportunity to learn more about you, even to discover new things. Perhaps he now realizes you’re girlfriend material and he wants to be committed to you in the long run. If your mind and heart agree with him, don’t miss this chance.
He may even be straightforward and tell you why he’s asking you all of these weird questions now you’re no longer together. So, expect a lot of questions about your current relationship status before he proposes to get back together.
7. He opts for no contact rule
He’s gladly going to opt for the contact rule because, in his mind, this is going to make you miss him. And he’s not wrong because this method is actually one of the best weapons to win your ex back. But, what he doesn’t know is how you feel after the breakup.
If you don’t have any feelings for him, he’ll be impatiently waiting for the message or call that will never come. When you get over him during the relationship, this kind of behavior from his side is only going to help you.
On the other hand, if you still feel something for him, your emotions may get the best of you and make you play his game. Who knows, maybe you win this time as a couple, not individuals. Give it a try if you think that he honestly wants something serious with you.
8. He’s not texting you back
This is another one of his games and a clear-cut sign that your ex is testing you. He texted you out of blue, you answered and now you’re waiting for him to text back. The message never arrived, did it?
It can happen that he wants to wait a couple of days to answer, which will keep you interested. Sometimes it feels like they know exactly when you’re done waiting and they reach out to you at that particular moment.
He wants to make you chase him, but don’t. Rather have a conversation like two adults that you are and finally solve things for good. Childish games are way behind us, so there’s no reason to tactically text someone.
9. He’s trying to make you jealous
Okay, let me set the scene. You went out to a local pub with your galpals. After some time, you joined a group of people on the dance floor just to spot him in a corner with his new girlfriend. You’re over him, so that didn’t bother you at all and it didn’t affect your mood.
But what happened next is what baffled you. While you were having fun, someone bumped into you from behind. You were on a dance floor, so it would be nothing weird if it wasn’t repeating. It felt like someone was intentionally hitting you, and when you turned around to talk with the person…
Everything was crystal-clear. Your ex was dancing right behind you and he was actually trying to get your attention since you gave him none earlier. Lovely, isn’t it?
You stepped aside a bit and continued to do your thing. After a while, you saw him kissing this new girl, but it was so inappropriate to do that in a public place. Is he trying to make you jealous?
Yes hun’, this is a definite sign your ex is testing you. He clearly wants to see your reaction while he’s having “the time of his life”. Why do men go crazy for a girl that clearly moved on and wants nothing to do with them? Asking for a friend…
10. He’s asking you a lot of what-if questions
Is he asking you a lot of hypothetical questions recently? “What if we never broke up?”, “Do you think we’d move abroad if we stayed together?”, “Would it be different if…”, and the list goes on. If your ex-boyfriend is asking you all of these what-ifs, he clearly regrets the breakup.
He wants to know what would happen if you stayed together solely for one reason – to ask you to date again. It may sound a bit weird, but this way he’s exploring the territory and checking if you’re still interested.
When your ex is asking you these questions, especially those that include your plans for the future, rest assured that those are signs he’s testing you. Why? Who the hell knows… Maybe he truly wants you by his side, or he has prepared another game.
Listen to your gut feeling because you know him the best. In fact, you’re the only one that can “read” him perfectly, so there will be no place for wrong moves.
11. He’s being vulnerable with you
One of the clearest signs that your ex is testing you is when he tries to be vulnerable with you – again. This way he’ll want to find out if you still care for him. If you were the only one he could show his true self to, I guarantee you that he’ll want you back.
We all need someone who’s going to understand us, even if we don’t understand ourselves. You were probably the only woman who could decode his thoughts and make sense of everything that was bothering him. Now, he knows that he has lost something extremely valuable.
If you truly love him and if you think that your relationship can be healthy, and he genuinely regrets what happened, be there for him. Listen to what he has to say and offer him your support. Invest in your union together and create something beautiful.
12. He’s testing your boundaries
He’s going to make some inappropriate comments, try to make you jealous, or even provoke you in different ways, only to test your boundaries. It doesn’t matter if it may hurt you, he’ll dig up the past and he’ll pick up on taboo topics.
He may even become controlling and do bad things to you just to check how far you will let him go. This is definitely a clear sign that your ex is testing you, there’s no doubt about it. But what are you going to do? Will you let him disrespect you this much?
Don’t let him test you as he wishes and please, don’t choose to go back to him after this awful move from his side. People often play games, but this is too much. He shows no respect and surely, he’s not going to respect you down the road.
This kind of man hardly changes, no matter how hard you try. And, honestly speaking, do you need someone who’ll maltreat you in your life? I think not.
13. He jumps to conclusions just to see your reaction
What does this mean? He’s going to tell some things in front of you just to see your reaction. Let’s say you’re out with your cousin, he met you in a restaurant and he assumed that he’s your new boyfriend. How did you react?
He’s going to check how you’re feeling and ultimately say something to catch you off guard. You have to be aware of that and make sure you don’t do or vocalize things you may regret later.
Asking you some personal questions that we’ve already mentioned, he’ll try to trick you into saying things you never thought of, if we’re being honest. He may tell you that he misses you, or that he can’t move on because he wants you in his life.
What will you do then? Will you play his game, or will you walk away?
14. He delays returning your stuff
Do you still have some things over at his place and he, kind of, refuses to give them back? He never actually said it that way, but he always finds an excuse why he’s not available at that particular moment when you wanted to stop by.
Is he postponing sending you that box you packed a long time ago and left sitting in the corner of the bedroom you once shared? He’s choosing not to send it. Don’t let this surprise you. If you recognized your ex here, it’s a definite sign that he’s testing you.
He may be missing you a bit too much and he’s just not ready to move on yet. That’s the main reason why he’s delaying returning your stuff. It may be a hard pill to swallow, but you have to accept it.
You may push him if you really want to, but I’d completely forget about that box. If you could survive this long without it, then you don’t even need it. Unless you want to try and rebuild that relationship.
15. He shows up where you are
How many times did it happen that he was at the same place you were? Do you feel like he took his stalking skills to another level? If he wants you back and if he’s curious what you think about that idea, this is one of the signs your ex is testing you.
He’ll be everywhere you are. I wish I was exaggerating, but I’m not. You’ll feel like your privacy has been compromised, but as long as he’s not doing anything dangerous, or threatening your well-being, there’s nothing to worry about.
He’s going to pretend like he’s over you, but you’ll notice that he’s faking it. Reading all these signs above, helped you conclude that your ex is testing you; seeing him next time in your favorite restaurant won’t be a surprise.
However, don’t let him influence your vibe, use this as your ego booster and show him what he’s lost.
Why is your ex testing you?
There are a couple of reasons why your ex is testing you, but all of them have the same root – he’s still, in a way, interested in you. The first one is that he wants to boost his ego. If you show interest in him again, he’s going to feel special.
Maybe after the breakup, he felt miserable and his self-esteem was really low so he needs reassurance. He has to believe that he still has what it takes and that he can win you over again. Don’t give him that pleasure.
There’s another reason why he’s reaching out – he’s playing with you. In this case, he may try to have a fling with you and the real question is, are you going to accept it?
The third reason is a bit less alarming, he wants to see if you’ve changed. If your ex is testing you, for this reason, it’s a clear sign that he wants to understand the way you’re thinking about the whole concept of a relationship now and if you’re ready for something serious.
And last but not least, you may see the signs he’s testing you simply because he truly wants you back. Perhaps you were the girl he wanted to marry, but things got in a way and you’re now no longer together. He realized that he genuinely loves you and cares about you. In this case, he’s definitely not over you.
Will you let your ex sit on that throne again after all these signs that he’s testing you? Is he going to get the title “your boyfriend” again? Ultimately, you have to make the choice.
