You’ve been dating this guy for quite a while, but you’re unsure if he’s into you like you’re into him. He’s been playing hot-and-cold with you, so you start looking for any signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Falling in love with someone is a thrilling feeling.
It gets your blood pumping, you feel butterflies in your stomach, and you get all nervous when you know you’re going to see him. You put on your best dress and get your hair done. You feel great and look stunning.
But it seems as if he doesn’t care too much about the way you look or that you put in a lot of effort into preparing for your date. And as soon as you’re date’s over, he contacts you to tell you that he’s sorry for acting that way and asks if he can have a chance to redeem himself.
This back-and-forth game is tiring and you just want to know whether or not he’s genuinely interested in you.
That’s why falling in love with someone is thrilling and scary at the same time. You never know what the other person thinks or feels about you. It’s like you’re playing Russian roulette and you don’t know if you’re going to succeed.
Luckily, just as there are signs he’s being serious with you, there are also signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Tell me if you’ve ever experienced this…
So, you’re watching this romantic movie together and cuddling with the guy you’re dating, when all of a sudden, you realize it’s been a couple of months and he has avoided any sort of commitment so far. Sound familiar?
Signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you
This is a situation that’s very familiar for most women out there.
Learning the difference between a guy who’s ready to commit and one who is afraid can be a lifesaver, as it can help you evade a ton of heartbreaks – not just from this particular guy, but also from other men you’ll be dating in the future.
And I know that there’s nothing more infuriating than not knowing where you stand with someone, especially if you’re head over heels in love with the guy.
Many women find themselves playing all those mind games with men who aren’t really in a relationship with them but are definitely not “just friends” either.
Thankfully, with these signs, you’ll see the true reason he’s still keeping you around.
1. He calls or texts you when it’s convenient for him
You pick up your phone and see his text. You get all excited because now you have him just for yourself.
Finally, he gives you more attention than he usually does, so you quickly send a reply hoping that your conversation will continue.
But, as usual, he’s AWOL after a couple of messages.
So you think maybe he’s busy and doesn’t have time to talk to you.
You start wondering when he’ll text back, but you’re impatient and can’t wait for too long, so you send him another message. And you get no answer.
Hours or even days go by and none of your messages get a reply.
You see him posting stuff on his social media, commenting, sharing, but none of your messages get acknowledged.
Then finally, you get a response and you get excited all over again.
You’re keeping yourself in this never-ending cycle of hoping he’ll change until you’re agitated about it and start letting him go.
You hope that your absence will make him miss you and he’ll start putting in the effort to talk to you.
But, nothing happens.
You think that he might change, so you stick around for another couple of weeks, but there’s no change.
He just texts or calls you when it’s convenient for him.
Then out of the blue when he’s bored, he decides to hit you up to see what you’ve been up to, but takes no interest in knowing what’s going on in your life.
If you can relate to this situation, then he probably doesn’t see himself in a relationship with you.
He’s only using you to pass the time until someone more interesting comes along.
It’s an obvious sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
2. You don’t invoke his hero instinct
Men and women are different when it comes to love.
Men naturally feel that they have a responsibility to protect those who are closest to their heart.
If the guy you’ve been dating hasn’t had an opportunity to prove himself to you, then he’ll quickly dismiss you and move on to someone else.
It’s because you didn’t trigger his hero instinct. He didn’t get to show you he’s capable of protecting you from anyone and anything.
And he needs that because he’ll feel more manly by doing so.
Men want to step up to the plate and prove to their women they can handle any situation on their own.
If you’re not letting him do that, then his natural urge to protect and care for others won’t be satisfied.
He’ll feel useless and rather try to find opportunities elsewhere.
Give him the space he needs and try not to be pushy. Give him some time and let him prove himself to you.
If he doesn’t, then he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.
3. He gets quickly annoyed by you
When you first started dating, he couldn’t get enough of your laugh.
He enjoyed it so much that he always cared about putting a smile on your face. Now, it just irritates him.
You ask him a question and get a short response. He doesn’t want to cuddle up to watch any romantic movies with you because he finds it lame.
And every time you do want to watch a movie with him, he finds an excuse to do something else or says that the movie is boring.
On top of that, it seems as if everything you do annoys him. That’s a good sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Maybe you’ve been dating this guy for a couple of months and you think that he has a lot on his plate, so that’s why he’s so easily annoyed by you.
But that’s not the case, honey.
He’ll never take your dating to the next level and ask you if you want to be in a relationship with him, because he doesn’t want to spend that much time with someone who annoys him.
You never know, it might just be a phase after all, but that’s rarely the case.
On the other hand, if you can’t find a reason for what is affecting the guy you’re dating, then take that as a sign he’s having second thoughts about taking your dating to the next level.
4. Things swiftly change from hot to cold
Do you feel like he’s playing all those mind games with you?
Like one second he’s so into you, and the next he’s gone and doesn’t want to see you anymore?
Maybe things are hot and intense at one point, but other times, there’s nothing at all.
He’s been playing this back-and-forth game for a while and it’s confusing the heck outta you, am I right?
If that’s the case, then take that as a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
One moment, he thinks that you’re his girlfriend and he wants to be exclusive with you. Then not a moment later, he’s ghosting you.
Let me tell you the truth. You enjoy talking to those you really like. You like them so much, you want to talk to them all the time.
Why should things be any different with this guy? They shouldn’t.
If he wanted you to be his girlfriend, then he wouldn’t play any mind games with you.
Maybe he’s an immature boy who doesn’t know what he wants.
Either way, he’s not for you and you should definitely move on with your life without him.
A guy who’s really into you wouldn’t waste his and your time on childish games. Instead, he’d focus on you and not even think of ghosting you.
5. He makes excuses not to see you
We all have our own jobs and interests, and need to have some me-time.
Sometimes, you won’t have time for others and you’ll be busy with urgent matters.
However, once you finish with what you’re doing, you’ll shift your attention right to the person who is important to you, right?
Men and women are the same when it comes to that – or it should be like that anyway.
When your man has his own life, you have to be very understanding and patient when it comes to him spending some time with you.
So, if your man is very productive and gets busy once in a while, or just wants to unwind with his friends for a bit and you’re okay with that, then he’ll appreciate and respect you more because of that.
Men are that simple if they’ve already fallen in love with you.
On the other hand, if a guy finds excuses not to be with you at all and says that he’s busy all the time, then take that as a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Those kinds of guys will say that they don’t have time for you because they’re preoccupied with their own stuff and can’t manage to see you even for a cup of coffee.
If that’s the case, then don’t get your hopes up believing you have a future with that kind of guy.
Before you know it, you’ll only get hurt and heartbroken, and feel lonely all the time because he’s never around.
6. He doesn’t introduce you to his family or friends
For men, their families and friends are their everything. They don’t talk to them about everyone they meet.
Only those who are important to them get the chance to meet their families and close friends.
If you’ve been dating for a couple of months now and haven’t met any of his friends or family members, then that’s not a good sign.
Guys usually want to show off their loved ones.
They aren’t afraid to introduce their girlfriends to family members or friends if they think their relationship is heading in the right direction.
But if your guy is making excuses as to why you shouldn’t meet his friends or family, that’s a clear sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
He’s simply not ready for it yet and most likely will never be.
7. He’s emotionally unavailable
Let’s say that he has his life together, suggested you two go on date, and actually shows up.
He takes you to a nice place and makes an effort to be there with you. You’re finally happy, you enjoy your conversation, and you got his attention.
But as time passes, you feel like something’s missing.
The energy and excitement he showed at the beginning of your date start to slowly fade away.
He’s not genuinely interested in what you have to say, think, or do anymore. It’s like he’s physically present, but his mind and thoughts are elsewhere.
You try to hold his attention with various interesting topics, but it’s only a matter of time before he switches off and turns his mind to something else.
It frustrates you because it all seemed okay a short while ago. You had such a fun time and now everything is ruined.
But when you think about it, this has been happening for quite some time, maybe not as frequently and not for long, so you didn’t pay any attention to it.
Those short happy moments that you had with him overshadowed his real problems.
That’s why you were joyful and you forgot about all these times he was just not there emotionally.
If that’s the case, then take it as a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
8. He prioritizes his dreams
Don’t get me wrong with this one – putting your dreams first isn’t a bad thing. However, men and women are different.
Men usually have a long list of things they want to achieve before starting a serious relationship with someone.
They think that they’ll need to act differently once they meet the girl of their dreams.
They think that they won’t have time to pursue their goals because their relationship will hold them back.
And he may like you right now, but maybe he doesn’t want a relationship with you because he hasn’t yet reached all his personal accomplishments.
If you think that’s why he’s so distant and cold toward you, you’ll hear him say “It’s not you, it’s me” and other cliches.
You’re an amazing woman with many great characteristics, but maybe his mind is focused on something else.
And no matter how hard you try, you can’t change his mind and force him to be in a relationship with you. He’s too focused on his dreams and goals.
That’s why he’s emotionally unavailable now – he’s not ready to commit to an exclusive relationship.
9. He avoids defining your relationship
Have you ever tried to have “the talk” with him?
If so, did he try to dodge it completely so he wouldn’t have to put a label on your relationship? Is he avoiding it like a plague?
Well, if he does this, then it’s a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
He’s avoiding having the conversation because he doesn’t know what he wants in his love life.
It’s not easy for men to confess their feelings for you. And not talking about the relationship is understandable if you try to see it from his point of view.
Women are more in touch with their emotions, so they don’t have a problem verbalizing their feelings.
On the other hand, men aren’t so vocal about their emotions.
Instead, they’ll try to prove to you that they’re being serious with you. And this guy clearly isn’t if he avoids defining your relationship.
Maybe your timing is off and something is happening in his private life. If you can find the cause of his unavailability, that would be awesome.
Otherwise, you should be careful about him, so he doesn’t drag you for too long.
10. He doesn’t put in effort
The key to a healthy relationship is that both partners equally contribute to the relationship.
If one puts in all the effort and the other doesn’t, then your relationship won’t succeed. It’s simple as that.
And if you’re the one putting all the effort in planning your dates, where to go, when to see each other and he seems okay with it all, then it’s most likely that he doesn’t want a relationship with you at all.
He’s just not into you if he isn’t make any effort.
I know that your wish is to be with him since you think he’s perfect and handsome, but clearly, he doesn’t think the same as you do.
You can tell that because he isn’t putting any effort to plan anything. He isn’t even sure if he likes you or not.
Maybe he likes the arrangement and doesn’t want to put a label on it all.
If only one party is pulling the strings, then the relationship is on a one-way track to failure.
11. He makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells
When a man means serious business and wants to be with you, then he’ll make sure you feel comfortable to express yourself freely and be open with him.
Even though you’ll have a fight or two, you won’t feel the need to withhold anything from him.
You’ll openly share your opinions and voice your frustrations.
That only happens when a man falls in love with you and wants to take your relationship to the next level.
But what if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells every time you have a fight?
Well, when you always have to watch what you say because you don’t want him to leave you, then he’s not going to take you seriously, trust me.
He’ll know that he has you in the palm of his hand and that he can get away with pretty much anything. He’ll use that against you.
And if he does that, then that’s a surefire sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
12. He doesn’t remember anything you told him
Usually, men aren’t pretty good at remembering stuff.
Their attention span is short, so don’t expect him to remember all the details about the fight you had going on with Ashley last weekend.
That’s not how men are wired.
But if he doesn’t remember anything you told him and keeps forgetting about important stuff, then it should be clear to you how much (or little) he really cares about you.
If he was genuinely interested in you, he’d be genuinely interested in what you have to say and remember the important dates, stories, and conversations.
13. He’s scared of commitment
Guys who don’t know what they want in their love life are usually scared of commitment.
There are various reasons why they’re afraid, but commitment-phobes are usually like that – they hardly ever know what they want.
And if your guy is one of them, then he’ll want to stick around with you but be scared of starting a relationship.
Maybe he does show signs he likes you through small acts of kindness when he’s around you, but then suddenly pulls away when he sees that things are getting more serious between the two of you.
This indecisiveness is frustrating and confusing, so try to be patient if you think that he can change in the near future.
If not, you know what you need to do – walk away.
14. He enjoys playing the field
Maybe the guy you’ve been dating hasn’t fully matured yet. He hasn’t taken his time to grow up and now you’re stuck with him.
He’s unable to make a decision on which girl to date, so he keeps a couple of you in rotation.
Let me tell you something: YOU DON’T NEED A MAN LIKE THAT!
If he enjoys playing the field and doesn’t know what he wants for his life, then you should definitely move on and focus on yourself.
After all, you don’t need a man to be happy.
15. He never gives you his full attention
When the two of you are together, he is always distracted.
He often looks at his phone, and you always have to repeat what you say because he doesn’t pay attention.
When a man is disengaged and distracted while spending time with you, it’s pretty clear that he’s not that into you.
His mind is always elsewhere, and he never seems present.
This is proof that you’re not important enough to him to give you his full attention.
A man who loves you will always give you his undivided attention, and he will cherish every word you say.
That type of man will show you how much you matter to him, and you deserve that.
16. He doesn’t open up to you
If he hasn’t really opened up to you, it’s because he doesn’t want to have a future with you.
Opening up and showing you his vulnerability isn’t worth it to him, because you aren’t someone special to him.
Why would he bother doing all that if he doesn’t want to have a long-term relationship with you?
You will often feel like he keeps a distance between the two of you and isn’t real with you.
He will always be calm and cool and will never open up and let you know how he really feels.
You won’t get to learn a lot about this man. As a result, you’ll only know what he lets you see, never finding out what’s behind it.
When a person doesn’t want to open up to you, it’s often because they don’t consider you as a person they can do that with.
Don’t think that the reason for that is something you did wrong, because the reason is that they just don’t care enough about you.
When a man loves you and wants to have a relationship with you, he will show you his vulnerable side and open up to you.
Of course, he won’t do it right away, but once you get to know each other, he will let you meet the real him.
He will do this because he wants to have a future with you and trusts you with his past memories and all his emotions.
A man who cares about you will also be interested to learn everything there is about you.
He will ask you about your feelings and your past and enjoy listening to stories from your childhood.
17. He often disappears on you
Sometimes you don’t hear from him for days or maybe even weeks, because he often disappears on you.
This is one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Guys who tend to disappear like that are often actually players, so he could be seeing other girls as well.
When a man suddenly disappears on you, most often it’s because he has someone else he’d rather be with at the time.
If you can never be sure when you’ll talk to him or see him again, it’s a huge sign that he isn’t interested in having anything serious with you.