Have you ever wondered what emotional unavailability is? What are the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you?
It is always difficult to talk about emotional unavailability, but one thing is for sure, nobody wants an unavailable partner. Practically every girl has had at least one guy she thought she could change, am I right? I know I failed twice – and I hope I’ve learned my lesson.
There is always that one part of you screaming about red flags, but you just ignore it. What’s that sound? Someone’s talking? No, I don’t hear that.
Been there, done that.
When a man is emotionally unavailable, it means that he has problems accepting and expressing his feelings, and he has serious problems getting close to people. Especially if we’re talking about women who are trying to approach him.
He’s going to avoid intimacy and commitment. Also, he gets defensive easily and it’s hard to get him to open up about his feelings.
However, there are some subtle signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you and we’ll talk about them. Still, be careful if you want to have a serious relationship with this type of guy.
Can an emotionally unavailable man fall in love?
Okay, you probably wonder now if an emotionally unavailable man can fall in love. Of course he can. Everybody can fall in love, it’s just a matter of time and an emotional connection between two people.
However, for an emotionally unavailable guy, it’s going to be difficult to nurture a healthy relationship. He’ll try to protect himself with his avoidant attachment style. He’ll refrain from showing his emotions, just so he doesn’t get hurt.
Most of the time, an emotionally unavailable person is not aware of the hard time they’re giving to those who care about them.
Be patient with him, but take care of your mental health. If you feel like you’re the only one trying to create that emotional bond between the two of you and he’s avoiding even talking about a long-term relationship, that’s your sign to give up.
An emotionally unavailable man can fall in love with you, but you have to be prepared that he’ll do so at his own pace.
17 signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you
Without further ado, let’s go through these subtle, yet clear-cut signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. It may not be all bad news in the end.
1. He starts showing emotions
Emotional intimacy and emotional connection aren’t foreign to this guy. On the contrary. He’s familiar with them more than enough to know that it is a big deal.
Maybe he was hurt in the past or had some childhood trauma that caused him to put distance between himself and his loved ones. So, if he starts showing emotions, that’s a big step.
In the beginning, he may mirror the way you feel because he’s still not certain and his self-esteem may take a knock if he realizes he likes you.
He’ll be confused from time to time, and even play hot and cold. If this is the case, and you genuinely feel he cares about you, just give him some time. Eventually, you’ll notice more of these telltale signs that he has fallen for you.
However, if you feel like you have to hide your feelings and it becomes a burden, do not hesitate to walk away. No matter how much a guy likes you, you should never suffer because of him.
2. He wants you to be around
This is one of the obvious signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. He’ll want you to always be around because he enjoys your company.
He may not be able to express it in words, but pay attention to his actions. If he’s had a bad day, you’ll be the only one he wants by his side.
He’s the type of man who avoids committed relationships, yet he wants to spend a lot of time with you. Confusing, right?
An emotionally unavailable guy is no different than any other guy who likes you. He’ll crave to hear your voice and feel your touch. When he falls for you, he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible.
He’ll propose activities you could do together, help you with shopping, or just ask you for a walk around the city. Get used to his company, because it seems like he wants a future with you.
3. He remembers small details about you
Do you remember what’s his favorite color or his shoe size? Not only will he remember these two, but he’ll keep them in his mind all the time.
I’m not a relationship expert, but I know how it feels to love an emotionally unavailable guy, so if he remembers small details about you, rest assured he fell in love with you.
When he pays attention to every little detail about you, it’s one of the clearest signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.
He’ll acknowledge all your likes and dislikes. For example, he’ll figure out if you add sugar to your coffee or not, and make sure to grab your attention by showing you he noticed all of it.
4. He values your feelings
You’ve become his priority, along with your feelings. Your connection is developing further and has grown into an emotional one.
He’s more emotionally affectionate and trying to strengthen the emotional connection you already have. This is for sure one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man has fallen in love with you.
I mean, would you value the feelings of another person if you don’t feel something yourself’? Probably not. If he’s in love with you, he won’t run away from it.
Sure, he may be uncertain in the beginning, but with time he’ll start showing you affection, give you compliments and ask how you’re feeling at times. Once he starts doing this, you’ll know he’s fallen head over heels.
5. You’ve triggered his hero instinct
The easiest way for a man to fall in love with you is to trigger his hero instinct. Nothing makes a guy happier than to help his damsel in distress.
He’s protective of you. He stands up in your defense even if you don’t need help. He offers to drive you home, or walk with you just to make sure you arrived safely.
This actually shows he’s a good man and really cares about you. He feels responsible for your safety and wants to make sure you stay out of trouble.
Triggering his hero instinct will make him fall truly, madly, deeply in love with you. Make him feel needed and he’ll commit to you wholeheartedly. Even if it’s something minor, like changing the light bulb in your kitchen, it will make him feel valued.
6. He opens up to you
Another clear-cut sign an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you is when he opens up to you. Nobody wants to share his deepest secrets with a stranger, right?
An emotionally unavailable man will slowly let you in on his life and thoughts, and eventually give you the key to his heart. If he’s started sharing with you why he behaves in a particular way, or if he’s told you some of his weaknesses, it’s obvious he loves you.
Of course, it will take him some time to accept it. He’ll struggle to find the right words to explain what’s happening inside, but be patient.
His past relationships may have taught him not to trust people, so he’s being extra cautious now. Don’t take it as a bad thing and don’t push him to open up faster. Let him do this at his own pace and I guarantee you, he’ll commit to you once he feels safe enough.
7. He wants to know more about you
Is he asking you a lot of personal questions recently? Do you feel like he wants to know more about you?
Yup, this is also one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is falling for you. Because of his emotional unavailability, he may often come off as a narcissist or egoist, but he’s just trying to protect himself.
His primary instinct is to protect himself, but you just walked into his life and turned it upside down. There’s a person whose day he wants to hear everything about, and learning things about you is like a drug to him.
You don’t need to be afraid that he’ll cut you off, totally the opposite. You’ll have his undivided attention. You’ll notice as well how he melts in every facial expression you make, and every move you make intrigues him.
Yes girl, when a man carefully listens to what you have to say, he loves you.
8. His words and actions are in alignment
You know the type of a guy who says he’ll call but never does? Yeah, we’re on the same page. So, normally, you’d expect him to be like this as well.
But, if his words and actions are in alignment, it’s one of the definite signs this emotionally unavailable man is in love with you. The reason he started following through with what he says is that he wants to be the right partner for you.
Maybe he said how other girls don’t interest him anymore, but knowing his nature, it was a bit hard for you to believe him. Now, he is paying all attention to you and isn’t going out as much as he used to.
He’ll fulfill every single promise he gives you and you can be sure that those days of “sorry, I forgot” are way behind you.
If you see even the slightest change in his behavior and his actions now start matching his words, he undeniably loves you. Just give him some time to find the courage to finally confess it.
9. He shares his past with you
Surely, an emotionally unavailable person will not share anything about them with anyone. However, you’ll notice he started sharing some of the stories from his past with you.
Maybe he mentions his favorite subject in school, or talks about his first crush. He may tell you about his high-school sweetheart, his first heartbreak, and how he got over it. In no time, you’ll be the only person who knows him this well.
When a man shares things from his past with you, it means he’s not afraid that you may hurt him. He trusts you and can be completely vulnerable with you because he knows you won’t judge him.
He feels safe when you’re around – that’s actually one of the major signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.
Although this may be true, don’t expect a broken person to share everything at once. Honestly, it may take way longer than you expect, but it’s up to you to choose: Are you going to try to connect with him or will you pack up and leave?
10. He wants you to meet his friends and family
Taking this step is actually one of the most meaningful signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you.
As soon as he decides he can trust you, he’s going to introduce you to the people in his life he deeply cares about. For instance, he may take you to some small family gathering or a chill-out with his closest friends.
He introduces you to the important people in his life because you’ve become one of them. He’s not afraid that you may walk away and he’s sure that he wants something serious with you.
Sooner or later, he’s going to ask you if you’d like to be in a committed relationship with him. But, be careful.
Even if he’s decided that you’re the one for him, that doesn’t mean that you’re instantly starting a healthy relationship. It will take some time and you may have to look for some relationship advice from an expert, but you’ll get there.
11. He takes you to company events as his +1
Generally speaking, when a guy takes you to a company event, be it a casual BBQ cookout or a top-notch party, it’s a big deal. Now imagine what happens when an emotionally unavailable guy takes you to his company events.
News coverage is on the horizon!
I’m sure all of his coworkers will be astonished, especially because they’ve known him for a while and they spend practically every day together. They, kind of, know a thing or two about him being a serial dater.
Similarly, as we mentioned in a previous part, he’s the type of man who keeps his social circle private. So yes, this is undeniably a big step for him and you should appreciate it.
12. He asks for your opinion
He’s the type who likes to be in charge. He rarely asks or cares about the opinions of others. But somehow, he wants to know yours.
Do you need another sign that this emotionally unavailable man is totally in love with you? I don’t think so!
When a guy is genuinely interested in you, he considers your opinion valuable. No matter how irrelevant or unimportant it may seem to you, it’s entirely different from his side.
If you want to build a healthy relationship with him, though, make sure you take only baby steps forward. Rushing into things may push him away and you could lose him.
13. He’s willing to work on himself
Even though he’s having a hard time opening up, he’s willing to work on himself. He’s ready to face the past and finally build a better future with you.
He wants you to have a healthy relationship and he’ll do anything to achieve that, even if it means having to spend hours talking with a therapist.
We both know he’s not buying the whole shrink thing, but you’re an important person in his life and he’ll do anything to make you happy.
He doesn’t want to hurt you, nor he does want to bring that toxicity into a relationship. He’s well aware of everything he has to work on, and he’s not even complaining about it.
14. He talks about the future with you
When a man truly loves you, he’ll talk about the future with you, a lot. He’ll start using “we”, “us,” and “our” way more often. He’ll ask you about your dream home, what you consider your perfect wedding day, or where you’d like to go for your next vacation.
You’ll realize that he enjoys making plans with you, and you’ll love it too!
He might even start posting a lot of photos and videos of you two on social media because he finally found someone who accepts him the way he is. He’ll make arrangements for your next week’s trip in advance.
He won’t be able to hide his happiness, and he’ll make sure you’re happy in his company as well. Such a big change, don’t you agree?
You may conclude that this is one of the signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you, and you won’t be wrong. He definitely is!
15. He supports your decisions
Is he always standing in your corner and cheering for you? He may not be capable of telling you right from the start, because all of this is new for him, but this man likes you. A lot.
If he’s truly happy for your success and he supports all your decisions, whether we’re talking about career decisions or something smaller, it’s so obvious.
He lost his head over you.
This isn’t going to happen overnight, but I’m sure you’ll notice when he starts asking about your boss or colleagues, and if your day at work went well. He deeply cares about your well-being and he’ll make sure you feel good all the time.
Even if this sounds great, make sure he doesn’t turn into a controlling man. At the first sight of red flags, please flee from that relationship.
16. He has your favorite things at his place
You mentioned your favorite shampoo brand casually when he told you that your hair smells nice. Or you commented something about the toothpaste you’re using. Now, out of the blue, he has all of these items at his place.
If you’re spending a lot of time together lately and more often than not, you go over to his place, he wants to make sure you have everything you need. He pays attention to what you’re saying and when he gets the chance, he buys all your favorite things.
He feels comfortable when you’re around, so he wants you to feel comfortable as well. He’s taking care of you in the best way he knows and he’ll go over and beyond just to see you smiling.
That’s love, isn’t it?
Bonus: You can tell he’s genuinely trying
You’ve now covered all the top signs an emotionally unavailable man is in love with you, and believe it or not, they are true.
This type of guy can be a real sweetheart and treasure if you give him a chance. If you truly love him, you have to be patient with him.
You don’t know what kind of trauma he went through, or if his last relationship was beyond toxic. And honestly, you won’t know until he tells you.
So, if you really want to build a healthy relationship with this guy, you have to be full of understanding even when it seems useless. If you can tell he’s genuinely trying, don’t let him go. Everyone can change, and so can he.
Then again, if you see it’s affecting your mental health, don’t hesitate to leave. You have to be your own priority. This relationship can be the best or the worst decision of your life, so make sure you chose wisely.