Think aloud
Does it seem like you’ve met the right person at the wrong time? They say that timing is everything, and even though someone seems perfect for you, the timing could be wrong.
We call it the right person, wrong time dilemma, and I’m going to help you solve it.
It’s hard to find the right person, so when you find the right one, it really hurts if the timing is wrong. Thankfully, there is such a thing as a second chance, so you might be able to get back together once the time is right.
Still, when you meet the right person at the wrong time, it could be that that person, in fact, isn’t the right one for you.
The right love at the wrong time means that you’re unable to have a successful relationship even if you care about each other a lot.
So, how to solve the right person, wrong time dilemma? I’m here to help you with the best advice on this topic.
Firstly, you’ll need to see the signs that you’ve met the right person at the wrong time. Once you know for sure that this is your situation, you can proceed to read my advice on how to handle it.
When I think about it, I met the man of my dreams, but what if I had met him before I wasn’t ready for it? We would have probably broken up or wouldn’t have gotten involved in the first place.
The thing is, it’s not enough to meet the right person, you have to meet them at the right time when you’re both on the same page.
Perhaps the reason why you are in the right person, wrong time situation is that they are going to move away soon, or aren’t ready to settle down. Maybe you could give a long-distance relationship a chance if they’re about to move.
If you’re sure they’re the right love at the wrong time, maybe you could find a way to make it work. After all, if they aren’t ready to settle down, maybe you’ll get back together once they are.
However, the fact that you think they are the right person at the wrong time could mean that they aren’t the right person for you, after all.
When you find the right one, if it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way to make it work. If that’s impossible for you to do, maybe this wasn’t really the right person for you, no matter how perfect they seem.
You’ll need to do some soul searching to realize the truth, and I’m going to help you see if there’s any way for you to make this relationship work.
Is it really the right love at the wrong time? See these signs, and you’ll know, so continue reading and see what you can do about it.
When you meet the right person at the wrong time:
Here are the signs that you have the right person, wrong time dilemma.
1. You have different long-term goals
When you meet the right person at the wrong time, you’ll see that your long-term goals don’t align.
Maybe you dream of having children, and they couldn’t care less about kids. Perhaps your goal is to travel the world, while they have no intention of leaving their hometown.
Even if you agree on the physical goals, you might have a totally different mindset at the moment.
For example, you could be an ambitious person, a real go-getter as they say, while your partner wants to have the same job forever. While you want to move and change, they’re perfectly fine with staying in the same old apartment for the rest of their life.
Could you imagine changing some of your important life plans just to stay in that relationship? You might not be able to cope with living the life they want to live.
So, is it the right person at the wrong time, or simply the wrong person for you? Well, how does it look like when you try to imagine a future with them?
Do you think that the two of you are too different to ever agree on important matters? Is it possible to compromise, and will they ever change some views that they have?
Perhaps they don’t want to have kids right now, but they could change their mind after a while.
Still, could you risk not living the life you always imagined just for the sake of salvaging a relationship you’re not sure of? Is it possible that you are simply too different?
2. Either one of you has just ended a long-term relationship
We all know how we feel after ending a long-term relationship. You need to mourn your loss, but you have met someone who seems perfect for you.
It seems like you have met the right person at the wrong time. Is there a way to see this situation in a more positive light?
Well, there is, because it’s actually pretty mature of you to not move on too fast and let yourself grieve. We also all know how things can end badly if you haven’t fully moved on from your previous relationship before getting into a new one.
Truth be told, I myself was still hurting from a past relationship when I met my Mr. Right, and things turned out great! He did have to have a lot of patience with me to really get over my ex, but we stayed together, and it was the best decision I ever made!
So, you might be as lucky as I am if your partner is patient and understanding enough to help you heal.
However, what if you’re single and he’s the one who has just ended a serious relationship? It’s really hard and even unhealthy to move on too fast so if your partner hasn’t yet fully moved on, it could hurt you, but you have to give him time to let go in any way he can.
However, if you’re too scared to become his rebound relationship, maybe it’s best to give up before you get hurt.
3. One of you is going to move away
Is one of you about to leave town soon?
It’s really hard to accept that the person you’ve clicked with so much is about to be far away from you. Whether they’re moving away for work, going traveling, or just moving to another city, it’s hard to meet the right person at the wrong time.
The same thing goes when it’s you who’s moving away. Maybe you signed a contract to go work in a different country just a couple of weeks before meeting this person. It’s really hard when you’ve met someone amazing, but now you have to go far away from them.
The truth is, if you haven’t known each other for long, you’ll probably both follow your dreams regardless of the love that you share.
Of course, neither one of you should change your entire plans for something you’re not sure of. However, if you really care about each other, you can always try having a long-distance relationship.
After all, you probably won’t be apart forever. If you really think there’s something there, you’ll be able to be patient and flexible.
4. Either one of you is too busy with your career
Whatever the job is, when you get your big break, you need to make the best out of it and dedicate yourself to your career.
However, what if you have, at the same time, met someone who could be the love of your life? It’s the situation of meeting the right person at the wrong time again.
If you have a big opportunity at work, you don’t want to lose it even if it costs you the person who seems so right for you.
Maybe it’s not about you, but he has just started his own business. Going to meetings and working late hours will be much more important to him than you are.
If either one of you has a big commitment at work, it will be hard to keep the relationship going.
Still, I don’t think that it’s impossible. You can always take it slow until things sort themselves out.
Don’t ask him to jeopardize his career for you, and nor should you do that. However, as long as you’re determined to make your relationship work, and have enough patience, you don’t have to risk your career.
Yes, you can have your cake and eat it too. All it takes is for you to care about each other enough to be patient.
5. There’s a big distance between you
Do you live very far away from one another? Maybe you’ve met someone great, but it turned out they live in a different country.
It’s not so much meeting the right person at the wrong time as it is meeting the right person in the wrong place.
Do you think that they could be the love of your life if only they lived in the same place as you?
How about a long-distance relationship? This type of relationship can actually work, as long as both of you put effort into it.
If you’ve just met, you might not be up to trying to keep up a relationship over such a distance. It’s also a problem if you were hoping for a close relationship because a long-distance one won’t satisfy all of your needs.
However, if you think that it’s true love, what’s the harm in trying? Try a long-distance relationship, and who knows? Maybe one of you will end up moving closer so that you could be together.
6. They are a lot older or younger than you
Is the age gap between you too big?
You haven’t been through the things they’ve been through, and no amount of time could change that. However, people who love each other can always make things work, no matter the age gap between them.
It’s important to remember that age is not just a number but it also isn’t a reflection of maturity, so someone younger than you could be mature enough.
The main problem is actually that people with a big age gap between them often want different things in life. A younger person is probably more interested in something casual, while an older one likely wants a serious relationship.
If you fall in love with someone who has a lot more life experience than you, it could be that they have kids and are divorced. You could want to get married and have kids, but that person isn’t interested because they’ve already done it.
It will hurt that you didn’t meet them before all that experience they had, but you can’t go back in time. Apart from age and expectations, this person could be perfect for you, and it seems unfair.
Still, let me tell you something from my own experience. Being in a relationship with someone your age is much better than having a huge age gap, which will always be a problem.
I was in a relationship with a much older man, and I loved him with all of my heart. Still, that love wasn’t enough to make it work, and now that I’m with someone my own age, I see what I had been missing.
That doesn’t mean that an age gap relationship can’t work, but it does mean that it’s always better to be with someone closer to your own age.
7. They don’t want to be in a relationship right now
Probably the worst situation is when you’re crazy about someone who simply isn’t interested in being in a relationship with anyone right now.
Most likely, they had been hurt before and have some trust issues now. Someone already broke their heart, so they aren’t ready to give it away again, even to you.
No matter how ready you are for a relationship, and no matter how much they like you back, they will just say that it’s the wrong time. They aren’t currently ready for a relationship, and you need to respect that.
You can’t force them to be in a relationship with you, and after all, they probably aren’t mad about you anyway so it actually could be their way of telling you that.
You won’t know for sure, but there’s no point in waiting for them to change their mind. If they do, they’ll know where to find you, so just give up on them and do your thing.
Are they really in love with you? If they are, they’ll find you once they’re ready.
8. They are already in a relationship
We can pretend that this doesn’t happen, but the truth is that it does. You could have amazing chemistry with someone who is already in a relationship with someone else.
Is it just in your imagination, or are they giving you the eye? Maybe you’ve even talked about it as well but they decided to stay in their relationship with the other person.
You’re not interested in having an affair, but it hurts so bad that someone who’s perfect for you is already taken. Why didn’t you meet them before they got into a relationship?
Well, there’s nothing you can do about it now. You don’t want your relationship to be based on destroying the one that they have now.
All you can do is see if they’ll eventually break up, so you two can see if what you have is real.
Till then, try to find someone available, because the right person for you probably is.
When you meet the right person at the wrong time
What can you do if you’ve met the right person at the wrong time?
1. Try to make it work
Nothing can stop true love, so if you really care for each other, there’s always a way to make it work. It doesn’t really matter if there’s a distance or age gap between you, as long as you love each other.
Tell them how much they mean to you and how ready you are to try to make this relationship work. However, before you do that, ask yourself a few questions…
Would this relationship succeed if you tried?
Are they really better for you than anyone else?
Is it really worth it?
Consider these things, and once you’re ready, talk to that person. If you want to make things work, see if they are willing to put the effort in too.
Are they ready to take a leap of faith?
The important thing to remember is that this option doesn’t work if they are already taken. In that case, it’s not okay to break up a couple or have an affair.
However, if it’s a long distance that’s standing in your way or your job, you can make it work.
2. Give up on them
If you’re not ready to risk it, maybe it’s better to give up on them. What’s the point in seeing them if you’re not going to have a relationship?
Maybe it’s best for you two to stop seeing each other altogether. Explain to them why you won’t be able to see them anymore if they are a part of your life.
If you have different expectations or they are involved with someone, this might be the right choice for you.
3. Start dating them
If what’s stopping you is work, moving away, or not having the same long-term goals, maybe you should date anyway. Would you rather love and get hurt than never love at all?
If both of you want to start dating, you can do it. However, it’s crucial that you agree on the fact that this will probably be a short-term thing, and do so before you start dating.
Are you on the same page and get that this relationship probably won’t be a long-term one? Then go ahead and start dating but the important thing to remember is that you’ll most likely get hurt.
I was once in a relationship with a man I knew I couldn’t make it work with because we lived on different sides of the country. It was a short-term relationship, and we gave a long-distance relationship a shot.
Do I regret it? No. Did I get hurt? Yes.
So, be prepared that your feelings will get hurt in the end, but as long as you care a lot about each other, it will be worth it.
4. Move on
The timing is wrong, but is it the only thing that’s wrong? Maybe that’s the universe’s way of telling you that this isn’t your soulmate, and you’re not meant to be together.
Perhaps it’s not the timing that’s so wrong but the person themselves, no matter how right they seem.
You’re wasting precious time on someone you know you’ll never make it work with. Move on, and have faith that your soulmate is out there, without these issues that will stop them from being with you.
Stay single until you meet the one, and know that this person probably isn’t that. When you really meet the right person, it will be the right time.
There’s someone for everyone, and you meet them when you’re ready. True love won’t make you change who you are, it will instead complete you.
You’re fantasizing about what you might have with this person, while you could be focusing on what you’ll definitely have with the right one. Just keep your eyes open, and you’ll spot that special someone when the time is right.
It often seems like we have met the right person because we fall in love so hard, but the truth is, not everyone who seems right really is right for you.
After all, when you do meet the right person, it’s easy. It seems like they are a part of you that has been missing this whole time, and when you get together, it feels as if you’re finally complete.
Don’t worry because it will happen to you, it just probably won’t be with the person you’re interested in now.
