Simply put, narcissists are known to lie the moment they open their mouths. Whether it’s because they’re trying to inflate their self-esteem or because they genuinely believe their lies, people with narcissistic tendencies lie all the time. What are the most common lies told by narcissists?
We all tend to toy with the term ‘narcissist’ because we think everyone with narcissistic tendencies suffers from NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Narcissists typically showcase an array of symptoms that point toward NPD, such as a lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, and an inflated view of self.
‘Now, is he a narcissist or just a selfish jerk?’ Narcissists suffer from a mental health disorder that stems from an unhealthy view of self. Narcissists are deeply tormented people whose horrible behaviors are driven by a need to feel better about themselves and pump themselves up.
With that out of the way, we do need to address the fact that most narcissists lie. And if you confront them with proof of the lie, they still attempt to lie their way out of it. After all, narcissists lie to themselves as much as they lie to others, and that’s why we need to talk about all the lies told by narcissists.
We’ve rounded up the top 10 lies told by narcissists and translated them for you to help you unmask the deception and spot the lies before they trap you. Scroll down to learn the warning signs!
What are the top 10 lies told by narcissists?
1. ‘I would never lie to you.’
Most narcissists lie the moment they open their mouths, but there’s a reason why they keep telling you that they would never lie to you. They keep reminding you that they’re trustworthy because they know that, eventually, you’ll find differences between what they’re saying and what they’re doing.
They know that once you start questioning why they’re treating you a certain way or why they’re upset with you, you’ll remember that they’re honest and honorable – which means they would never do the things you want to accuse them of doing. Narcissists know how to work the crowd, that’s for sure.
2. ‘You can count on me.’
Narcissists want you to believe that they’re perfect. They’re reliable, trustworthy, and dependable. They’re there for you when everyone else seems to turn their back on you. They’re pretty much everything you need to go through a tough time because – they’re simply that great.
Covert narcissists are especially likely to tell you that you can count on them because they need everyone to know how great they are. Now, narcissists might actually keep their word and help you when you’re in a pickle. But the only reason they’re doing that is because it suits them or enhances their image.
Believe us when we tell you that true dependability when it comes to narcissists is rare.
3. ‘You’re mentally unstable.’
‘You’re catching on to what I’m doing, and I need to gaslight you and force you to back off!’
Chances are there’s nothing wrong with you, and you’re simply catching onto their lies and making them shake in their boots with fear. You’re probably confident and capable of figuring out when you’re being lied to. You’re probably highly educated and willing to call them out.
When a narcissist calls you mentally unstable, know that you’re doing something right. Don’t question your sanity. Don’t be fooled by the lies of a man who can’t stand the thought of you being bigger and better. Call them out, end things with them, and move on.
4. ‘My ex was obsessed with me.’
‘My ex figured out that I was hiding behind a mask and tried to expose me. My ex might even reach out to you and warn you about my wrongdoings, and that’s why I need to make sure you understand that all my exes were obsessed with me, mentally unstable, and the ones to blame for the breakup.’
Narcissists are known to drive people over the edge, but that doesn’t mean that their exes are actually mentally unstable – that simply means that they didn’t manage to work their magic on their exes. When you’re dealing with a narcissist who insists on insulting all his exes, don’t believe a word he says.
5. ‘It’s all your fault!’
When we’re talking about lies told by narcissists, we can’t forget about one of the most damaging lies you can hear from a narcissist: ‘It’s all your fault.’ Blame-shifting seems to be a common characteristic among all narcissists, and it serves the purpose of making you feel like you’re doing everything wrong.
It’s imperative for narcissists to avoid taking responsibility for anything they do, and that’s why they’re likely to throw the ball into your court and make the entire situation about you. If you notice a pattern where nothing is ever their fault, it’s a clear sign of gaslighting and manipulation.
Narcissists use blame-shifting to shift your perception of reality and make you feel like you’re imagining things.
6. ‘I was with friends!’
‘I was trying to see whether my tricks would work on someone younger and prettier than you. I have a lot of friends who worship the ground I walk on, and I wanted to spend my time with them – and see whether they react to my love-bombing better than you do.’
Whenever narcissists disappear, you can bet that they’re doing something shady.
Whether they’re actually cheating on you, grooming another victim, or actually hanging out with friends, you might never be able to figure that out. With that said, ‘I was with friends’ deserves a spot on the list as one of the most repeated and reused lies told by narcissists.
7. ‘You’re a liar.’
When narcissists accuse you of lying to them, know that they’re trying to get you to do one of two things.
They either want to trigger you to prove yourself to them, or they want to make you feel like you’re more similar to them than you think. They want to get a reaction from you because that makes them feel like they have power over you.
When you get accused of lying, you’re likely to spend hours and hours defending yourself, sending text messages, and calling your friends and family to back you up – and that’s exactly what a narcissist wants. A simple ‘You’re a liar.’ gives them the power they need to feel like they’re somehow above you.
8. ‘I promise.’
Another common trait all narcissists share seems to be the pattern of not following through on agreements and obligations. When narcissists promise you they’ll do something for you, you can count on them breaking their promise and giving you the most unbelievable excuse you’ve ever heard.
Being self-centered and conceited, narcissists follow through on their promises only when they know they’ll benefit from them. Whether they’ll better their image in the world or get something for it, they’re more likely to meet their obligations when they suit their self-interest.
Narcissists talk a good talk, but they often fail to back it up.
9. ‘I love you.’
Narcissists are charming and charismatic, and that’s why they get away with behaviors that would otherwise be deemed manipulative, unhealthy, and even toxic. They know how to say the right things to get you to trust them. They know when to play hard to get and when to open up to you.
Whatever they do, narcissists always have a hidden agenda, and that’s why they’re oftentimes quick to profess their affection and admiration for you. They’re not above love-bombing you, either, but they’re more subtle than that. They tell you they love you and they really make you believe them.
When that happens, you need to find a way to refuse them because they’re only professing their love for you because they need something from you. Narcissists will hook you in, get what they want, and then leave you hanging out to dry, and that’s what you need to avoid.
10. ‘I will change.’
‘I will change’ might not be the worst lie you’ll hear, but it’s one of the most insensitive lies told by narcissists when they feel like they’re losing you. Because narcissists are latent liars, the consequences of their actions often catch up to them and force them to admit their wrongdoings.
Before they leave you alone, though, they’ll try to ask for forgiveness and promise to change their ways. Rest assured, when narcissists say, ‘I’ll change,’ they simply want the unpleasant situation to go away and for things to go back to normal.
Rather than believing their lies, tell them that you’re done with them and get over them ASAP.