Is your relationship breaking down? Have you tried to fix it but still haven’t found a solution to your problems? Are you asking yourself if letting him go to get him back is the right move?
Maybe your friends gave you some advice on how to behave if he’s pulling away from you, telling you that you should move on with your life without him, that he’s just another guy who will break your heart, but you simply can’t fight against your own emotions.
The thought of him leaving you for good keeps wandering through your mind.
Will he come back if you let him go?
You firmly believe that you two are meant to be, but at the same time, you keep thinking that maybe all he needs is some time and space to clear his mind.
The truth is you never met a guy like him. He’s the only one who truly understands you and your emotions. You have always been a fighter and you’re not going to lose him without giving your best.
Your firm belief that everything’s going to be alright encourages you to fight for him and your love. Even if everyone else says that he’s not for you, you still believe that he’s the one.
So, you give it second chance. You’re not ready to have your heart broken just yet.
You keep asking yourself if letting him go to get him back is the right thing to do.
Well, the truth is that most men will come back if you leave them, especially if the two of you were in a serious relationship.
But the worst thing you can do is to let him go and expect that he’ll be back in a week’s time. He won’t. Things don’t work that way.
Is letting him go to get him back your best option?
Thinking that leaving him and using the no-contact rule will bring him back is foolish. There’s much more to it than that.
Letting go of someone who’s been there for you during the ups and downs is a difficult thing to do. Your head keeps telling you to leave him but your heart says otherwise.
You want your ex back and with a bit of hard work and time, you know that you can be happy with him.
If you want him to come back to you, there are some things that need to be done first. He has to realize that his life without you is meaningless and empty.
Having the mere mindset of “I’ll let him go and he will come back to me” will lead you to heartbreak. You have to make changes in your own life if you want him to come back around.
How to let him go to get him back
If you’re really committed to making it work with your ex-boyfriend, then read the following tips. They can definitely help you turn the tables and become the woman he desperately wants back in his life.
Many people underestimate the power social media has on us. It’s a great tool to post things that can greatly improve your chances of getting him to come back to you.
Social media is one of the best ways to show him that you’re having a blast even though you’re not together anymore. Just be careful not to overdo it.
Be sure to not post any more than you usually do. If you start posting too many pictures or videos, he might interpret it as you trying to make him notice you.
Besides, your posts will be in his face literally, so he won’t feel as if he’s missing anything.
Instead, if you want your ex-boyfriend back, then post stories and photos that you normally would. Remember, your goal is to not look desperate.
By using social media to your advantage, he’ll think that you’re perfectly okay even though he isn’t part of your life anymore.
Also, never share any hateful photos, text messages, or comments about him. And don’t stalk him on Snapchat. These will only diminish your chances of ever getting him back.
You’d never go back to someone who threw rocks at you or trash-talked you, am I right? So, why would he react any differently?
Instead, give him just enough info so that you leave him wondering what’s going on in your life. Believe me, once he realizes that you’re perfectly fine without him, he’ll come begging for another chance.
2. Stop calling or texting him
One of the most important things to do when trying to get him back is to cut off any and all contact with him.
Apply the no-contact rule and be sure to stick with it for thirty days.
I know it’ll be tempting to call or text time the first couple of times something reminds you of him. But you have to keep fighting against it, even if it means taking a break from social media for a few days.
What makes the no-contact rule so effective is that it helps you stop chasing him all the time. On top of that, it makes him realize that his life is different since you left and he becomes more aware of what he’s lost.
The key to success is being persistent and patient about it. Keep yourself busy and do anything you can to stay focused on your end goal.
Don’t let your emotions govern your actions. Don’t call him in the middle of the night, hoping that he’ll pick up the phone!
If it’ll help, you could always write down in a notebook the reasons you shouldn’t contact him at all.
I know it will be difficult, but if you feel like giving up, start by deleting his number and erasing all of his messages.
Then hide anything that reminds you of him so that you won’t trip up by messaging him a quick text saying that you miss him.
By cutting off any contact with him, you’ll give him enough space to make him realize that he misses you.
Have you made a mistake in letting him go to get him back? No, you haven’t, but you have to stay focused on your end goal.
It’s completely fine if you decide to post things on your social media profiles, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stick to the no-contact rule.
It must be devastating knowing that he’s just one phone call away, but you have to stay persistent in your intentions.
The no-contact rule means that you shouldn’t comment on his photos either.
Also, for the love of all things good, don’t scroll through his posts or search through likes. You’ll only make the situation harder for yourself than it already is.
You never know what you’ll find there. And if you keep checking who has commented on his photos or videos, it will only sabotage your mental health. You’ll plant a bug in your head that will keep you thinking about him all the time.
Moving forward with your own life is your best solution. By doing so, you won’t make a mistake, and the chances of him coming back to you will increase significantly.
4. “Let’s be friends” doesn’t work
One of the worst things you can do is propose to him that you stay friends after the breakup.
If you do, he’ll think of you as someone who’s trying to prove herself to him and make him realize how amazing you are so that he takes you back.
That’s why you should never suggest that you stay part of each other’s lives. It could only work out if you two are completely in love with each other. But being mere “friends” with your ex should never be an option.
The truth is, if you want to show him how great you are, you have to distance yourself from him, both physically as well as emotionally.
If you keep things friendly and platonic, then it won’t be long before he’ll start searching for a new girlfriend.
And that’s clearly not what you want. You’ll only torture yourself if you do it because you’ll still have him, but not as a boyfriend anymore. Don’t forget, you still care about him.
5. Never, ever beg
What many people do wrong when using the no-contact rule is that they seek out and beg their ex to come back after a while. I know it sounds silly and stupid, but it happens all the time.
He has to see that your life is completely okay without him. You shouldn’t be needy and beg him to come back into your love life.
And who knows, maybe the reason you had problems in your relationship was that you were too clingy or needy.
Whatever the case, you definitely should give yourself and him some space. If you ask him twice, then you’re begging, and strong women don’t beg.
You’ll regret begging him later if he only comes back because otherwise you’d never stop asking him to. That’s not how he’ll figure out how much you mean to him, which is your end goal.
6. Focus on yourself
During the no-contact period, it’s important that you take some time to become the best version of yourself.
Let’s get this straight. This is your time to shine.
Do you remember missing out on all those opportunities because you didn’t have enough time for them? Well, now you can do whatever it is that you want.
Focus on yourself – you have all the time in the world. You should use it wisely.
This is not only meant to be a step toward getting him back, but also an opportunity to realize your own worth.
Everyone sacrifices parts of themselves when they’re in a romantic relationship. But now you can realize how much you’ve neglected yourself and how many times you prioritized others over yourself.
No more. It’s time to put yourself on the top of your priority list. Fill your life with joy and things that bring you happiness.
And as you work more and more on yourself, your confidence will rise and your ex-boyfriend will realize what he’s missing.
So, letting him go to get him back is the right move – not only for your relationship, but for you as a whole.
7. Enjoy life
When was the last time you went out and had a girls’ night? Well, now that you’re not in a relationship anymore, you should start doing things that make you happy and that you always wanted to try.
It may be that the sadness is forcing you to stay home and cry over him, but there are so many great things out there that you haven’t experienced yet.
That’s why you shouldn’t overthink anything and just go out and have fun. Meet new guys, discover new hobbies, and start your journey to a happier life.
You have a list of things that you would like to do before getting married, right? Then who’s stopping you from going out there and checking them off one by one?
As a bonus, your ex will see how much fun you’re having without him, so don’t be surprised if he sends you a text message out of the blue saying that he misses you.
8. Don’t trash-talk him
Letting him go to get him back means that you won’t go behind his back and talk badly about him after splitting up. If you do, then he’ll never give your love a second chance.
I know that you are frustrated and would do anything you can to get his attention, but badmouthing him is not the way to do it.
Don’t go behind his back and talk trash about how badly he mistreated you or how bad of a boyfriend he was, especially to your mutual friends.
Instead, let him live the life he chooses and focus on yourself. If you start criticizing his decisions or life choices, you are won’t get him back.
Keep in mind that both of you need some time and space for yourselves. You have to give him that in order for him to realize what a valuable addition you are to his life.
9. Never drunk-text him
Going out with your girls means that you might end up drinking a lot. But you should never allow yourself to drunk-text him, ever!
It’s completely normal to be sad about your broken relationship, but texting your ex-boyfriend while you’re drunk is a big no-no.
You don’t want him to know that you’re still thinking about him – otherwise, all the progress you made so far will be in vain.
Showing your ex that you’re desperate and needy is everything but attractive or cute. You won’t get him back if you show him that you lack self-control.
Also, it will ruin your decision to give him some time and space as you’re making it hard for him not to contact you.
10. Show him what he’s missing out on
Imagine this. You’re walking down the street looking like your world is falling apart because he isn’t part of your life anymore. Suddenly, out of the blue, you see him crossing the street and heading right toward you.
You know you look a mess, but why would you give him that satisfaction of seeing you in such a bad state?
You should pull yourself together and always look decent because you never know when and where you could run into him.
On top of that, you’ll boost your self-confidence by looking great all the time. And the plus side is if he sees you at your best, then he won’t be able to get you out of his head.
He’ll ask himself, “Is she seeing someone new?” or “Has she started dating other guys?”
Your goal is to make a lasting impression on him. And what better way to achieve that than by looking gorgeous and awesome every time you leave the house!
11. Meet new people
Another great way to keep him off your mind and get him to come back to you is to let new people into your life.
And I’m not talking about meeting some random guys. Instead, go out and meet new friends that will help you change things up a bit in your life.
Every time you let someone new into your life, it’s like a breath of fresh air. Soon enough, you’ll forget about him and your broken relationship.
You’ll start focusing on those people and they’ll help you cope with the breakup more easily.
Letting him go to get him back will prove to be beneficial to you as you’ll see how happy you are without him. After some time, he’ll start wondering who those people are.
That’s when you can expect him to come knocking on your door, asking for a second chance.
12. Ignore him
Men hate nothing more than being ignored by the person who means a lot to them, even if they were the ones to blame for the breakup or if they initiated it.
Now that you’ve refrained from contacting him in any way, he may poke you a bit to see what’s up.
However, you should resist talking or texting him in any way possible.
He’ll definitely try to get on your nerves a bit to see how you’ll react, but don’t give him that satisfaction.
Don’t like his picture if he likes yours. Don’t answer his random comments on your posts. And, most importantly, don’t react if he posts pictures with other women – he’s only trying to make you jealous.
13. Act as if you’ve moved on
Use any opportunity you have to show him that you’re okay on your own and that you’ve moved on with your life without him.
Even if you’re struggling and suffering on the inside, don’t let him see your pain. Find happiness within yourself and let him know that he can’t just march right into your life again.
He has to figure out that leaving you was the biggest mistake he’s ever made. And the best way to do that is by showing him how great you’re doing without him.
I get that you never wanted to play games with anyone’s heart – especially his. But it would be tough to get him back to you any other way.
When he sees how satisfied you are with your own life, he’ll realize that he was the problem and he’ll come begging you for another shot.
14. Reflect on what he wants from a relationship
If you want him back then you have to do some reflection. It’s easy to blame your ex for what he did, but finding out why he did all those bad things could help in your quest.
Take some time to reflect on what really drives your man in the relationship. Learn from your mistakes and, most importantly, don’t repeat them.
Men are inspired by different things when it comes to love. They always want to feel important and to provide for the woman they care about.
That’s why men who seemingly have the “perfect life” and “perfect girlfriend” are still unsatisfied and start searching elsewhere.
Is letting him go to get him back the best decision you ever made? It could be, but you have to show him what you need and allow him to prove himself to you.
15. Focus on the positive things in your life
Take some time for yourself and think about everything that’s happened to you.
Sometimes, you just have to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with yourself. By doing so, you’re going to realize what it is that you really want in life.
And who knows, maybe losing him wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to you. You learned valuable lessons from it and it helped you become the woman you are today.
That’s why you shouldn’t beat yourself up and instead focus on the positive things in your life.
Give him some breathing space to process his emotions and figure out what he wants. Eventually, he’ll come to realize whether or not he wants you to be part of his life again.
And in the meantime, be patient and prioritize yourself over everyone else.