It’s true, relationships are complicated. But breakups are even more brutal. We may stay on good terms with our exes or not even speak to them at all. However, some situations make us ask ourselves, “Is my ex thinking about me?”
When it comes to breakups, sometimes it comes out of the blue, and sometimes it’s mutual. You could be cheated on, or be the one who cheats. Maybe it’s the right person at the wrong time or just the wrong choice. Whatever it is, it’s usually really painful.
The reality is, it doesn’t always end up the way we want it to. So, I prepared some questions and 13 signs that will help you determine whether your ex is thinking about you.
It’s important to point out that every couple and their relationships are different, but behaviors after the breakup are somewhat similar. So get ready to find what you were looking for.
“Is my ex thinking about me?”
Let’s start with you and your “thinking” habits.
Thinking about your ex isn’t something that’s unusual or uncommon. It’s completely fine that you still wonder what he’s up to. You’ve been together for some time, so it’s okay to be interested in what his life looks like now. That said, always be careful when your mind sends you to this territory.
If you constantly spend your time reminiscing on the good old days, it will inevitably mess with your mental health. It enables you to move on and enjoy your life. Always remember that if it was all so perfect, it wouldn’t be gone now.
I know you sometimes wonder if he’s thinking about you. Not knowing that fact can be pretty scary. Your mind likes to play tricks, so it might tell you that he never loved you if he doesn’t miss you and think about you.
But don’t let it fool you. Luckily, there are many factors that can answer your question. Are you ready to find out the truth?
1. How much time did you spend together?
Couples who used to spend a lot of time together never forget those moments. Even if these don’t cross their mind every day, some similar situations will lead them to a certain memory.
For instance, maybe your ex scrolls down the Netflix list and finds a movie the two of you watched one Sunday evening. He will definitely remember you at that moment. It’s normal for the same thing to happen to you!
Have you ever thought about someone you barely know because of something you saw on their Instagram profile? You noticed that Marie from your primary school loves Bastille, and then one day you see them having a concert in your town… Marie came to mind, right?
Now imagine how easily it happens if you’ve spent a great deal of time with someone, like your ex. Just like something makes you think of him, it’s likely that your ex is thinking about you too.
2. Did you help each other out through difficult times?
If the two of you went through some challenging times together, you have shared memories of that period. Both of you will probably remember that for the rest of your lives.
Challenges bring people together or break them apart. In either case, it’s always significant for both sides.
Do you recall the first time you fell off your bike and your parents helped you get up? Or the time your sister studied Math with you just so you can fix your grades and finally go out with your friends? Now imagine some bigger, grown-up problems that you and your partner faced together.
They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but it definitely hurts you. And we easily remember the things that hurt us. If your ex has been there for you, or you’ve helped him through a life crisis, the two of you have a private memory that can’t easily go away.
If you’re able to remember it, so does your ex.
3. Did you have any mutual goals?
If you were in a healthy relationship, you and your ex probably had some mutual goals.
Maybe they were some little ideas, like small things you need to buy or how many books and movies you want to collect together. However, if you’ve been in a serious relationship, you probably talked about some bigger plans for the future.
Did you plan to buy your own place? A new car, or a family pet? Maybe you wanted to start a business together or planned a huge trip? It’s even possible that you had many individual goals, but supported each other in them.
Now, when you aren’t together anymore, everything about those goals reminds you of each other. It’s normal and completely expected. After all, those were some really big future plans. Thinking about whether your ex accomplished any of those goals is nothing uncommon.
13 signs your ex thinking is about you
All these things I’ve already mentioned show how highly likely it is that your ex is thinking about you. But what if I told you there are 13 more signs that will help you get the answer you’re looking for?
Get comfy and continue reading.
1. He seems happy to see you
Imagine walking down the street and running into your ex. His behavior can tell you a lot about his feelings towards you.
So, what does he usually do when you bump into each other? Does he just wave and say “Hi,” or maybe hug and give you a peck on the cheek? It mostly depends on the way the two of you ended your relationship.
You can tell a lot about what someone thinks of you when you see the person. So if you run into your ex and he seems cold and distant, or even rude, he obviously isn’t that happy to see you.
However, sometimes exes try to seem unbothered because they don’t want to look desperate. Keep an eye on his smile. Whatever he says or does when he meets you could be forced. But hiding a smile is more difficult than you’d think.
If you notice at least the slightest smile, know that he’s happy to see you. And if he is, he’s definitely been thinking about you lately.
2. He stares at you
Except for his smile, watch out for what his eyes do.
You had a quick chat in the streets and he looked at you once or twice only. It wasn’t an awkward conversation, but it seemed that he was more interested in the pigeons crossing the road. He isn’t that happy to see you then.
Maybe he’s still hurt or upset, but for some reason, he can’t look at you.
Then there’s another possibility. Your eyes met while you were still walking toward each other. You stopped to have a small talk, and he never seemed to quit looking at you. No matter what you talked about, you were able to see “the look” in his eyes.
Maybe it even reminded you of the times he would look at you that way. If this is the case, your ex is very likely still thinking about you and wondering what’s going on in your life.
3. He shows he’s jealous
Now here’s an interesting one. Imagine you’re out with your friends and you see your ex a few tables away from you. You wave to each other and both of you just continue talking to your friends.
After some time, your guy friends decide to join you. That’s something that gets the attention of your ex-partner. Every laugh that comes from your table is heard by him. Every time you come close to one of your male friends, he notices.
Seeing you in a male company triggers some jealousy in him. Some exes may even come to your table to greet you, just to make sure you’ve noticed them.
If your ex is still bothered by the fact you’re moving on from your relationship, he’s probably spent many nights thinking about you.
4. He still contacts you
Well, this is one of the more obvious signs. If your ex calls or texts you often, there is a good chance that he misses you. You can be sure that he’s checking up on you because he’s really interested in what you’re doing and how you’ve been lately.
Late-night texts are solid proof that he can’t fall asleep without thinking about you and the memories the two of you share. It’s very likely that he would like to get back together with you if he had the chance.
5. He asks for your advice
The two of you are already broken up for some time. Luckily, both of you have many friends and family. And if you have to face a big problem, you would contact them instead of your ex-partner, right?
Well, that’s what most people would do. However, if your ex decides to call and ask for your advice, he obviously still prefers your opinion and cares about what you have to say.
Before we give someone a call, especially if we’re seeking help, we spend some time thinking about who to call. So if you’ve been through this, yet you’re asking yourself questions like “Is my ex thinking about me?” stop doing it because I have the answer. Yes, your ex is definitely still thinking about you.
6. He wants to know about your life
If your ex takes every chance he has to ask you about your life, wants to know what is going on, and what you’re up to, he’s doing so because he truly misses his best friend. And that’s you.
You must be on speaking terms if he has the opportunity to ask you questions. So if you want to test him out a little to see if he really misses you, ask him a few things the two of you already talked about in the past or share something that is bothering you at the moment.
If he truly misses going through life with you, he will take every opportunity he has to talk to you. To be the first one to listen to your problems and help you out in the hopes that interactions stay frequent.
And it goes without saying that if your ex misses you, he’s thinking about you.
7. He’s asking around
We’re almost halfway there. The answer to the question “Is my ex thinking about me?” is in your hands.
All of us know how easy it is to find out something. Sometimes we even hear things about people we don’t even know. It might or might not be true, but one thing is clear – information circulates quickly.
So if your ex wants to know about your life, yet he can’t ask you, he’ll probably start asking around. He might start by questioning his friends who still follow you on social media, your mutual friends, or even your family.
Some exes approach it carefully, asking only when your name comes up. However, some exes choose to be obvious. It’s almost like they want you to find out. Either way, you’re definitely on their mind.
8. He often goes out to “your places”
The two of you must have visited tons of places together. But some of them were your favorite. You visited them often and they became “your places” – environments in which both of you felt at peace.
Maybe it was a park, a beautiful beach, or some local cafes and restaurants. Every couple has at least one of these.
If you’ve been frequenting these places, he must have come to your mind. Be sure that the same thing happened to him.
But has it ever happened to you that you actually saw him there? Maybe he was drinking coffee at the table you always used to choose together, or he was walking his dog on that “secret” path the two of you found.
When we think about someone, we sometimes unconsciously do something we miss doing. It’s like our legs bring us to the place that once meant a lot to us when we didn’t even plan to take that route.
9. His social media posts tell a lot
Are you still following each other on social media? Or maybe you’re not, and stalking became a preferable option. Whatever the case is, his social media posts can tell a lot about his life and feelings.
Is he posting those places I’ve mentioned, or maybe using Instagram music to share the songs you used to enjoy together? Some powerful movie quotes, or romantic poetry?
He may even like some of your photos, to remind you he still likes what he sees. Especially if some new guys decide to leave some comments.
It’s impossible to check someone’s profile if we weren’t thinking about them at that moment. Perhaps he saw your picture then decided to check out the rest of them, or you just randomly appeared in his head. Bottom line, if his social media activity includes you somehow, you can be sure your ex is thinking about you.
10. He wants to make amends
Making a big decision requires lots of thinking. If he wants to make amends, that’s a huge decision, so there’s the answer to your question.
If your ex is asking for a new chance, promises to change, and try harder this time, he’s basically confessed that you’ve been on his mind since you broke up. In this case, “Is my ex thinking about me?” seems like an unnecessary question since the answer is already obvious.
But don’t feel obliged to forgive him just because you never left his thoughts. When we miss someone, we tend to focus on the good times we spent together and fail to see the bigger picture. You wouldn’t be apart if you were mostly happy together.
Take the time you need to figure out your feelings better, and then you will be able to see whether or not the decision to break up was right.
11. His friends contact you
You don’t talk to your ex anymore, but your mutual friends are constantly in your DMs.
That probably means that he’s still wondering where you are in this world. He wants to know how you spend your days, where you go out now, who you hang out with, and so on.
But, wait! He can’t ask you those questions… You haven’t spoken for a while. So, what does he do?
He calls his friends, usually the ones you like, and gives them a secret task. That task is to find out as much about you and your life as possible.
So those friends decide to get to work, and now your DM is full of questions like:
“So how are you feeling now? Are you still sad or you’re feeling a bit better?”
“Any plans for this summer? No? Oh, amazing, so you’ll be in town.”
“Did you find a job yet? Yes? I know that pharmacy, great. What are your working hours?”
“Do you still go to that cafe downtown? I haven’t seen you for a while there.”
And then when you answer them, they run to your ex and tell them all the info they’ve gathered. He’ll then know if you’ve moved on, if you’re in town for the summer, where you work, and the places you tend to visit.
So with all this intel, he’ll either choose to take some action or just use it to rest his mind knowing you’re doing fine. As long as it’s polite and it doesn’t get too personal, it should be fine. And it will definitely be a clear sign that your ex is thinking about you.
12. He still contacts you about important events
The two of you broke up, and you chose not to stay in contact. Your anniversary date passed, and you didn’t send any messages to each other. Why would you – it’s over, right?
But then came the first Easter, and you got a message. He had a chance and he took it. A smooth way to appear on your chat list. Then it was silent again.
Some time passed and then your birthday rolled in. You expected your bestie to be the first to write “Happy birthday, wish you all the best!” when in fact it was him.
The same thing happened for Christmas, your graduation, and the day you started a new job.
Even though you’re technically not in contact anymore, he still remembers you when something important comes around. Your ex is probably thinking about you during the other days too, but he just feels like he can’t send a text without a special reason.
If you want to talk to him, send a little message. He’s obviously keeping you in his mind. But if these texts bother you, tell him that, or block his number if it’s easier for you that way.
If you choose to tell him, he’ll most likely stop. Just as he stops himself from writing to you without any occasion, he’ll try hard not to contact you at all.
13. He’s silent
Usually, when people are hurt, they tend to stay as far away as possible from the cause. Knowing much about your new life is difficult for your ex. Maybe he loves you so much that he doesn’t want to bother you anymore. Or he feels like it wouldn’t do anything good for the both of you.
Silence often speaks louder than words. You may not be in contact, but if you’ve been through a lot together, most of these signs apply to you too. I have shown you that there are many things that can remind him of you.
And just as you’re reading this, wondering if you’re on his mind, he might be typing “Is my ex thinking about me?” at this very moment.