If you’re in a relationship with an insecure boyfriend, you’ll start seeing signs of insecurity that will warn you about it.
Don’t get me wrong, dating an insecure man actually feels great at first.
He is not afraid to tell you that he loves you even if it’s too soon, you become his whole world, and he showers you with attention.
You feel appreciated and cherished, and he gives you a lot of love, compliments, and even gifts, which makes you feel like you have found an amazing man, especially if you’ve dated narcissistic and insensitive men before.
Sounds great, right?
It seems that way until you realize the ugly side of insecurity in relationships.
Suddenly, you realize that he doesn’t give you any room to breathe, and he needs to know about every single move you make.
You find out that dealing with insecurity isn’t so easy, and your insecure boyfriend needs you to constantly prove your love for him.
The way he always calls and texts you first seemed cute to you before… but now it’s the reason for your fights because he expects you to constantly be available and let him know about your whereabouts.
God forbid that you don’t answer a phone call from your insecure partner as all hell would break loose.
The truth is, you felt very special and important at first, but now you’re starting to feel like he’s suffocating you.
When you recognize that you’re dealing with insecurity, you’ve already been in a relationship for a while, so it’s important to see the signs as soon as possible.
Insecurity in a relationship can cause it to fail, but if you’re in love with an insecure person, there is a way you can help them.
The first thing you should do is make sure that nothing in your behavior is causing your man to feel insecure.
If you don’t give your man enough attention or time, or you tend to flirt with other guys, it’s understandable that he’s feeling insecure.
However, for most insecure men, their girlfriend’s behavior is not what’s causing their problem, so it probably has nothing to do with you.
So how can you help your insecure boyfriend overcome this problem?
Naturally, you need to talk to him and try to eliminate any concerns and doubts he might have.
Let him know how much he means to you and that he is an important part of your life.
I mentioned that for most insecure guys, their girlfriend is not the one to blame, at least not their current girlfriend…
Their ex, on the other hand, could be the root of the problem.
Encourage him to talk about his past, because his ex might have cheated on him, and if she didn’t, dig deeper and find out about his childhood.
There could be something in his past that’s causing him to feel this way, and it’s recommended that he talks about it with a professional.
It’s important to mention that you should always be honest when you’re involved with an insecure person and try to include them in other aspects of your life, so invite him to join your friends and you when you hang out.
Let him know that you have insecurities as well, and talk to him about it, because it could get him to open up about his.
A therapist could really help him too, and you should give him time to improve himself, but don’t wait forever.
Ultimately, the only way he can stop feeling insecure is by realizing that he has a problem, wants to improve himself, and tries to.
Here are all the signs of insecurity that you should be on the lookout for:
1. He tells you how to dress
Insecure guys don’t like it when their girlfriend dresses provocatively.
Your boyfriend could be feeling even more insecure when you’re dressed in short skirts or you show cleavage.
Naturally, you don’t want to make him feel that way, but you need to be allowed to wear whatever you want.
It’s not okay when your boyfriend tells you how to dress, because this is something that should be your choice.
2. He doesn’t have friends
You’ve been in a relationship with this man for a while now, but he never mentions any friends and almost never hangs out with anyone.
It actually looks like you’re the only person in his life that he cares about, and that’s a warning sign.
He will need you to spend a lot of time with him because he doesn’t have anyone else to spend it with.
3. He doesn’t have hobbies or interests
It’s not just that he doesn’t have friends because he doesn’t seem to have any life outside of the relationship, except for his job.
He doesn’t have interests or hobbies, or he gave up on all this when he met you.
An insecure partner doesn’t play sports or go to the gym, doesn’t take any classes, and simply put, isn’t interested in any activities which don’t involve spending time with you.
He is either spending time with you or spending time thinking about you when you’re not there.
4. He is jealous of your friends
Insecure men are even jealous of their girlfriend’s female friends.
You spend time with your friends when you could be spending time with him, and it bothers him.
One of the reasons why dating an insecure man is challenging is that he wants you all to himself.
You are his whole world, and he wants to be yours, but this isn’t healthy.
You need to have a life outside of the relationship, and so does he.
He shouldn’t be feeling insecure just because you want to hang out with your friends sometimes.
5. He thinks that you’re still in love with your ex
Feeling insecure in a relationship means constantly doubting that the person you’re with really loves you.
Even though you clearly don’t care about your ex anymore, and you broke up ages ago, your insecure boyfriend thinks you still love him.
This is all because he can’t believe you truly love him, so convincing him that your ex means nothing to you anymore won’t be enough.
You’ll need to prove to him that he’s the one you love.
6. He constantly seeks validation
Do you love me? How much do I mean to you? Are you attracted to me? All these questions are signs of insecurity.
Your insecure boyfriend constantly needs to get positive affirmations and compliments, and it’s all because of his low self-esteem.
7. He said that you are his world
You are his everything, the center of his world, and his reason for living.
Regardless of how flattering this sounds, being someone’s world isn’t as great as it seems.
Dating an insecure man means that you are his world, and that’s a lot of pressure.
When there are problems in your relationship, his whole world will start falling apart.
8. He said too soon that he loves you
An unhealthy attachment can easily be confused with love, and this is a problem all insecure guys have.
He said too soon that he loves you, and it’s probably just his attempt to make you stay with him.
Don’t forget that it takes time to really love someone. If, in addition, he is pressuring you to tell him you love him too, it’s a major warning sign.
9. He threatens to leave you
He tells you that he doesn’t feel wanted, and he doubts that you truly love him, so he threatens you with a break-up.
The truth is, ending the relationship is the last thing on his mind, but he wants to see you beg him to stay.
If you beg him, his fragile ego will get a small boost, but if you don’t do it, he’ll simply take back everything he said and do what it takes to stay with you.
His threat is just his way of seeking validation, and he’s testing you, but you’ll one day get tired of this unhealthy behavior and let him leave.
10. He only has bad things to say about his exes
An insecure person always sees themselves as the victim.
If you’re in a relationship with an insecure partner, he’ll talk badly about his exes and be convinced that they didn’t treat him fairly.
None of his exes ever loved him, or so he tells you. This is very suspicious, and you don’t want him to talk this way about you one day.
11. He gives you a lot of attention as well as gifts
His thoughtfulness seems amazing at first, and you love him even more because of it.
After a while, though, you start questioning his motives for this, and it even starts to feel smothering.
He seems to be doing this only as an attempt to buy your love for him and to make sure that you won’t walk away from him.
12. He stalks you on social media
Insecure men tend to stalk their girlfriend on social media.
Your boyfriend stalks your Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram profiles because he wants to know about every move you make.
He constantly likes and comments on every single thing you post, and he checked your friend’s list so he could ask you about who those people are.
If he catches you talking to someone on social media, he’ll be sure to ask you who they are and what you are talking about.
13. He wants to be with you every single day, and he gets mad if you can’t
You have just been with him, and yet as soon as you left, he sent you a message to tell you how much he misses you.
The truth is, this seemed sweet at first, and it’s nice to feel wanted, but his obsessive attention soon starts to be overwhelming.
He wants to be with you every single day, and if you happen to have some other responsibility that prevents you from being with him, it will upset him.
When you can’t see him because you have to work or see someone else, he will make you feel guilty about it.
14. He takes your phone to check your texts
When your partner disrespects your privacy, you become aware of what dealing with insecurity really means.
He tries to see every message you receive and asks you who’s texting you or even demands that you let him see each message.
Whenever you’re on your phone or computer, he’s convinced that you’re hiding something and he will even take your phone to check your texts.
Don’t be surprised if you find out that he went through your emails and messages on social media as well, which is a huge violation of your privacy.
15. He has no self-confidence
If your boyfriend is feeling insecure, he won’t believe in himself and will often put himself down.
All the things he does, such as not letting you spend time with your other loved ones without him, come from his lack of self-confidence.
He doesn’t think that he’s good enough, and he is afraid that you’ll leave him for someone better, since deep down, he believes everyone’s better than him.
16. He needs to know every single thing about your day
Feeling insecure in a relationship means constantly wondering what your partner is doing without you.
Your boyfriend will want to know every single detail about how, where, and with whom you spend your time when you’re not with him.
If you accidentally forget to mention some detail and he finds out about it, all hell will break loose.
He will also want you to share everything about your life with him, even the things you’re not comfortable telling anyone.
17. He always agrees with you
It seems like he doesn’t have any opinions of his own since he always agrees with everything you say but that’s because he doesn’t want to risk upsetting you by disagreeing with you.
Since he doesn’t think he’s good enough, he also doesn’t think his opinions are good enough and he doesn’t want to risk losing you by offering an unpopular opinion or disagreeing with you.
18. He doesn’t let you have your space
All of us need some alone time every now and then, but your boyfriend refuses to give you space.
He smothers you with his constant need to talk to you and overall neediness.
When you ask him for some room to breathe, or some alone time, he gets insulted and thinks that you want to leave him.
Insecurity in relationships makes these relationships very codependent.
19. He compares himself to others
While most guys hate being compared to others, especially their girlfriend’s exes, those who are insecure always compare themselves to other men.
They do this so they can give their fragile ego a little boost every now and then.
Your boyfriend will brag about things such as being taller than an actor you like, better-looking than one of your guy friends, or better at his job than his co-worker.
He actually doesn’t think he’s better but just wants you to agree.
20. He is always in the same mood as you
You can’t be in a bad mood, because he’ll be in one too. His mood actually depends on your mood.
When you’re good to him, he is happy, and everything’s right with the world, but when you’re not in the mood to make him happy, his whole world will come crashing down.
He takes your mood swings very personally, and his mood changes whenever yours does.
21. He tries to give you proof of his masculinity
Guys who constantly try to prove that they are masculine are not macho men, but exactly the opposite.
He is probably insecure if he’s always trying to prove that he is a manly man.
Confident men don’t have the need to give proof of their masculinity by showing off.
If your boyfriend is constantly showing off his manliness, he is most likely very insecure.
22. He starts a fight when you don’t answer his calls or don’t respond right away to his texts
Whenever you don’t return his calls or respond to his texts right away, he will feel insulted.
He just doesn’t seem to understand that you have other things going on in your life.
It’s only natural that he can’t realize that you have a life outside of the relationship since he doesn’t have one.
You will always have to have a big fight with him just because you missed his call or forgot to respond to his text in a timely manner.
23. He criticizes you
He wants to draw attention away from his flaws, so he points out yours.
Your boyfriend has the need to feel like he is superior to others, and he does so by criticizing those around him, including you.
He can be very cruel and mean in attempts to bring attention to the shortcomings you have, and you shouldn’t tolerate this.
Don’t let his insecurity make you insecure as well.
24. He accuses you of being unfaithful
No matter how much time you spend with him, he’ll still think that you’re cheating on him when you’re not around.
He will even accuse you of being unfaithful even when you haven’t given him any reason to doubt your loyalty to him.
All it takes is that you don’t give him as much attention as he needs from you, and he’ll instantly think that you’re cheating on him.
Even if he doesn’t think that you’re having an affair, he’ll think that you have feelings for some other guy.
25. He overthinks your every word and action
He will overanalyze your every word and action, even those that are completely meaningless.
Even when you had no intention of insulting him, he will accuse you of it and call you insensitive.
This will cause you to become very careful about what you say and do in front of him, which will prevent you from being yourself and feeling good in the relationship.
You shouldn’t be afraid of insulting him; he needs to realize that you never intend to do so.
26. He pretends he’s someone he’s not
Insecure people tend to lie to hide their insecurities. He will probably have trouble being himself, and it will cause him to pretend he’s someone he’s not.
Of course, this means that he will lie to you because not being yourself inevitably leads to lying.
His exaggerations and lies come from his fear of not being good enough.
27. He can be aggressive
Insecurity often comes with aggression so your relationship can turn into an emotional mess because of his self-doubts.
He will be petty and have temper outbursts even because of the smallest things.
Don’t be surprised when he mentions things that happened before, that you even forgot about, and he will always want to blame you.
28. He talks badly about others, especially those better than him in some way
He constantly puts other people down and talks badly about them to make himself seem better than them, even though he isn’t.
The truth is, people who are better than him in some way make him feel threatened, so he has a need to badmouth them even if they’re strangers to him.
This should make you worried, because if he can talk so badly about complete strangers, what’s stopping him from talking that way about you?
He doesn’t know how to be happy for other people because he envies their success too much.
29. He can’t take constructive criticism
It will be very hard for him to talk about the insecurities he has and even admit that he’s insecure so when you confront him, he will get defensive or lash out, and he won’t be willing to talk about the problem.
He can’t deal with any constructive criticism because he’s simply that insecure.
You have only two choices; either you will try to help him overcome this, or you will leave him, but taking all this bad behavior from him shouldn’t be an option.