“I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore…” This sentence makes you realize that your marriage is facing an obstacle.
Even though you probably think of it as something that doesn’t happen to anyone else, I can assure you that you’re not the only one. You’ll be surprised how many women experience the same feeling.
At some point, a woman will stop being intimate with her husband as she starts to feel like she can’t stand him. The bare idea of him getting close to her makes her feel uncomfortable.
So, don’t be too harsh on yourself, as what you’re experiencing right now is a completely normal part of every marriage. Somewhere along the line, it all gets too much to deal with, and then it results in having intimacy issues.
However, you can easily work on this problem and find the right solution that will help you get over it. It would be best to first understand the underlying cause of this feeling, though.
When you say, “I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore,” what could be the root of the problem?
“I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore”: 9 possible reasons why
Intimacy is a huge part of any marriage. So when you feel like you don’t want your husband to touch you anymore, you wonder why.
There must be a reason why you feel the way you do and you want to find out what it is. Why is it that you can’t stand the idea of your husband being intimate with you?
Well, here are some possible explanations. Once you figure out which scenario describes your situation best, it’ll be easier for both of you to work on finding the right solution.
1. You feel detached from your partner
You’re dealing with too many things at one time so it’s surprising that you’ve been able to get this far.
Your job, taking care of the house, keeping in touch with your family… And besides all of that, you probably even have to take care of your kids.
It all gets too much to deal with and eventually, you may feel like you’re slowly detaching from your partner. You can’t find the energy to keep the spark between the two of you alive once you’ve already committed every atom of yourself to other things.
You’re trying hard to keep everyone around you happy to the point that you’ve forgotten how to stay connected with your husband. That’s exactly why you feel like you’re pulling away from one another.
The bottom line is that this could be the reason why you don’t want your husband to touch you. So, you need to work fast to find a solution before you completely give up on each other.
2. You’re not happy with the way you look
Before getting married, you probably had more time for yourself. Maybe you hit the gym a few times a week and you ate more healthily.
Right now, you don’t even feel like you have enough time for all of your daily duties. The days go by so fast and sometimes it feels as if they’re way shorter than before.
All of this takes its toll on you and you probably no longer look the same way you used to five years ago. If you recently had a child, then there’s another reason why you don’t feel like you’re in your best shape.
As a result, you don’t feel comfortable being intimate with your partner.
“I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore as I don’t look anything like I used to. He probably hates my body the same way I do and I can’t even imagine taking my clothes off in front of him.”
This is one of the most common reasons why a woman gives up on intimacy with her partner. She simply doesn’t feel comfortable in her own skin, which then makes her hide her own body from herself and her partner.
If you’re facing the same issue right now, you must remind yourself that your husband will love you no matter how you look. It’s normal that your body is going through some changes and you can’t expect it to look the same way your whole life.
Plus it probably isn’t as bad as you think it as and you can easily work on it for the sake of your own happiness. And let’s be clear, if your husband truly loves you, he would never say anything against the way you look.
A real man accepts his woman for who she is and doesn’t want to change her.
3. You’re exhausted both mentally and physically
Do you feel like you have no energy left inside of your body? You’re exhausted both physically and mentally and some days, you don’t even feel like getting out of bed.
As soon as you wake up, your day begins and you’re always on your feet. You can’t remember the last time you sat down and enjoyed reading a book.
It’s been months since you treated yourself to a glass of wine and dinner in silence. Your life is hectic and it all has an impact on you.
You feel drained, which could be the reason why you don’t want your husband to touch you anymore. Being with him no longer feels like pleasure but instead, simply one more thing on a long list of obligations.
It’s too much to deal with after you’ve already had a rough day. So, you need to give yourself some time and find a way to make the tension go away.
You sacrifice yourself for everyone else and that’s why your mental and physical health are both suffering.
4. You feel like your husband doesn’t appreciate you
The moment you feel that your husband doesn’t appreciate you anymore is the moment you won’t want him to touch you. It’s that simple.
You don’t feel like being intimate with him when he takes you for granted. You’re tired of always being there for him when he doesn’t even notice how much you give up to make him happy.
Where is the man you fell in love with? He used to take care of you, showered you with love, and did all of the little things that made you happy.
Now, you can’t even remember the last time you spent some quality time with him. He’s always too busy for you and makes you feel bad for even asking to hang out with him.
At the same time, he always finds a way to squeeze his pals into his already swamped schedule, which hurts even more. So it’s not surprising that you don’t want him to touch you anymore.
He’s obviously forgotten that you’re his wife and that he should always make time for you, even in the middle of the busiest week. If he doesn’t learn how to do that, the chances are that your marriage is going to crumble, even though that wasn’t part of the plan.
5. You’re worried that you’re not what your husband needs
At some point, every woman starts to feel like she can’t give her husband what he expects. She thinks of herself as not good enough and pulls away into her shell and stays there for some time.
“I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore since I don’t think that I can make him happy in bed.”
You wouldn’t believe how many women feel the same way as you do. They’re afraid that they won’t be enough for their husbands and that’s why they work so hard to find a way to not be intimate with them.
Keeping quiet about the issue won’t solve anything and eventually, you’ll only be making the situation worse than it was in the beginning. The best thing to do is tell him what’s going on and work together on fixing it.
6. You’re holding a grudge against him
Maybe you don’t want your husband to touch you anymore as you’re holding a grudge against him. Perhaps you’re too preoccupied with something he did (or didn’t do) and you can’t ignore that thought, no matter how hard you try.
Until you let him know what’s bothering you, it’s likely that you won’t be able to be intimate with him.
The thoughts that live in your head rent-free will still haunt you and they won’t allow you to move on. So, you need to start being honest with him if you don’t want your marriage to suffer.
7. You’re too stressed with life and everything that’s going on
Everywhere you go, you seem to face stressful situations. Maybe you’re having some trouble at work that you don’t know how to solve or perhaps you just got fired and you’re desperately looking for another job.
It could instead be that a close family member is dealing with some issues and you can’t fall asleep at night as you can’t stop thinking about them.
It’s hard to keep those emotions outside of your marriage and that could be the reason why you pulled away from your husband. You can’t even imagine being affectionate with him when all you can think about are the issues you’re currently facing.
But if you don’t do something about it, you risk losing the connection you once had with your partner and ruining your relationship. And that’s not something you want to happen if you still love him.
8. You don’t feel like your husband listens to you
We all need to be heard and your husband should be there for you to listen to what you have to say. When he keeps showing you that he doesn’t care about your feelings, you instantly feel the need to pull away from him.
As time goes by, you could give him some time to change his behavior. But you should keep showing him that you need him to be there for you because it’s one of the foundations of any healthy marriage.
Spouses should be each other’s biggest support. Even if your partner can’t think of a way out, they should at least be ready to be your shoulder to cry on.
But when your husband repeatedly shows you that he doesn’t care about what you’re going through, that’s when you may stop wanting to be intimate with him.
You no longer want him to touch you because you don’t feel like he listens to anything you say. The idea of kissing him no longer makes you happy so you take a step back until he realizes the mistake he’s made.
9. You feel uncomfortable when your husband touches you
Do you feel uncomfortable when your husband touches you for any reason?
Maybe he often does something you don’t like or being with him makes you feel physical pain. Or perhaps he regularly initiates intimacy when you don’t feel ready and sometimes doesn’t even ask for your consent.
These are all important issues he needs to know about. You can’t keep quiet about them, as otherwise, two things could then happen.
First of all, you’ll feel the consequences on your own skin and your mental health will suffer. Secondly, your marriage will go through a major crisis, which may even result in divorce.
“I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore”: What can you do now?
So, we’ve tackled some of the possibilities that explain why you don’t feel like being intimate with your partner. It should now be more obvious why you’re avoiding getting close to him.
But what can you do now? What’s the right way to fix the issue at hand and stop it from taking control over your marriage?
You still love your husband and you don’t want to lose him. You just need to find a way to change the fact that you don’t want him to touch you anymore.
Here are some tips that can assist you with getting your marriage back on track. With his help, you’ll no longer feel like running away from him every time he shows you a sign of affection.
1. Improve the communication
He’s your husband and he needs to know what’s going on inside your head. He needs to be aware of what you’re currently facing, which is why improving your communication comes first when you’re trying to find a solution to the problem.
Just because you’re thinking, “I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore,” it doesn’t mean that he can read your mind and know what’s going on. You need to share your emotions with him and explain how you’ve been feeling for a while.
After that, you’ll get a better idea of whether he understands you and wants to help you fix things.
This marriage belongs to both of you, which means that both of you will be affected by the changes in it. In that case, he should be more than happy to help you out since he’s a part of the union as well.
2. Turn everything off when trying to spend quality time together
Spending quality time together is a huge part of every relationship, especially marriage. When life gets in the way of the two of you, it’s important to know how to keep the spark alive.
However, it’s easy to be under the impression that you’re spending time together just because you’re sitting in the same room, scrolling through your own phones. Trust me, this behavior won’t make you feel close to each other, though, and that’s why you must change something.
From now on, whenever you’re trying to spend some quality time together, you should first turn off any devices that could interrupt your mission.
Have a proper chat with one another, talk about the things that brought you closer to each other, and remind one another of all of the memories you share. That way, you’ll reignite the flame and feel like you’re finally having a real conversation with the person you fell in love with.
3. Get the affection back
When you don’t want your husband to touch you anymore, you need to take some baby steps to change that. Being intimate right now isn’t on your list of priorities but what about a simple kiss on the lips?
Maybe you can start with a hug instead, which will allow you to feel physically close to your husband. Once you feel ready, you can add few other moves that will actually make your heart skip a beat.
The point is that you need to work on being affectionate with each other as a part of your daily routine. Even if we’re talking about holding hands while watching a movie, as long as it makes you feel closer to each other, you should keep on doing it.
In time, you’ll realize that the only thing you’re looking for is to finally get home and lie in bed with your man. But you should take as much time as you need to get yourself there.
This is your ticket to a happy marriage. Trust the process and make these tiny moments of affection a normal part of your day.
4. Work together on finding a solution
Once you get married, all of the issues you face should be worked on together. It takes two to tango and you can’t find an answer to this problem on your own.
Your husband should help you do that, even if it’s not him who’s directly responsible for the situation. So, put aside all of the blame and be united for a change.
Figure out what could be the best solution for both of you and hopefully, you’ll start to notice a difference. In no time, “I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore,” will no longer be a part of your vocabulary and your marriage will be back on track.
5. Build up your confidence
If you feel like the main reason why you don’t want your husband to touch you anymore is that you’re lacking self-confidence, then you should learn how to work on that. But you should do that on your own.
Your partner can hype you up and remind you of how amazing you are but it won’t ever be enough if you don’t feel that way yourself. That’s why you must work on your confidence all alone, without his help.
Allow yourself to figure out how great you are and see beauty in every part of your body and soul. Once you achieve that, you’ll then be able to finally feel like yourself, which will make everything much easier.
6. Let your husband know about your preferences
It may feel awkward at first but your husband needs to know about your preferences in bed. He’s your partner, you chose to spend the rest of your life with him, and you should feel free to tell him your needs.
A simple conversation can solve any of the issues you’re facing. You just need to give it a go.
If he truly loves you, he won’t ever make you feel bad for telling him the truth. He’ll appreciate your words and he’ll make sure to help you feel satisfied in bed, the same way you do for him.
7. Look for professional help
If none of the things mentioned above work then you may want to consider looking for help outside of the marriage. Seeking a professional who hears about these issues on a daily basis could be the right way to go.
A relationship therapist can help you get to the root of the problem and help you move toward a resolution faster than you think. At some point, you’ll realize that you’ve made huge progress.
Being intimate with your husband will no longer seem like something you’re running away from. Instead, you’ll be happy to finally realize that the spark of your marriage has been reignited and things are slowly getting back to normal.
So, don’t be afraid to have a professional listen to your story. Let them help you get your marriage back on track.
The moment you realize what’s been keeping you from being affectionate with your husband is the moment when the path to fixing your issue will appear. I wish you all the luck in the world and hopefully, it’ll all turn out the way it should.
Please bear in mind that as I mentioned, you’re not the only woman facing this issue. The world is full of those who keep quiet about this concern or who keep denying that it even exists.
So, by making an effort to do something about it, you’re only showing that you want your marriage to work and that you’re not ready to give up on it yet.