The question of how to make a narcissist miserable has become quite a common one.
More than ever, women are encountering these manipulators who only look for things that benefit their agenda.
Because of that, we all need some guidance on how to get rid of their influence.
What happens if we want to take it one step further? What if we want to make a narcissist just as miserable as they made us?
Well, in that case, my dear, you have come to the right place!
There is no doubt that the narcissist in your life has made you miserable.
You fight with yourself on a daily basis and you’re still trying to figure out how to free yourself from the hold they have on you.
You want to inflict the highest possible pain on this human being.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you want to physically harm them, but something inside you is screaming to give them a taste of their own medicine.
If you have gone to therapy because of their abuse, you might have found out that they have greatly impacted your mental health.
Your abuser gaslighted you, they’re the reason for your low self-esteem, and for the longest period of time, you lost your true self.
Your newfound self-worth is telling you that you shouldn’t let this slide. You need to make them as miserable as they made you!
How to make a narcissist miserable
You’re one of those empaths who always puts other people before you, so you might be unsure of your decision.
Is it really a smart move to ask about how to make a narcissist miserable? Can you consider yourself a good human being if you do that?
Let me tell you right away that you can make a narcissist miserable without ever being considered a bad person.
The things that make a narcissist miserable have nothing to do with emotional abuse.
You’re not going to use their tactics and you’re not going to affect their overall well-being.
What you’re going to do is use tactics that will not only help you move on from them, but also make them question everything they have done in their life.
There are weaknesses you can target without ever having to question your own morals.
Don’t worry! Just because you’ve gone through a lot and want to show them that they can’t play games with you anymore, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person.
You’re someone who encountered a narcissistic person and has made it out safe and sound.
Sometimes, the narcissist is your co-worker and you can’t use the usual tactics on them. And what if the narcissist is a family member?
Believe me when I tell you that even if it’s your loved one, they can still be a malignant narcissist. NPD doesn’t choose its victims.
That’s why, without further ado, let’s answer the question of how to make a narcissist miserable.
1. Always have facts on your side
They use these sentences filled with grandiosity that you might even think that you’re listening to an audiobook.
They talk with so much emotion that it’s hard to differentiate facts from fiction.
A narcissist makes everything seem so extravagant that you might lose yourself.
That’s why the best answer to how to make a narcissist miserable is to fight emotion with facts.
They will get so frustrated and be prepared to even see them throw a tantrum.
The first time you experience this, you might be scared, especially if you’re an empath.
Empaths are prone to react when someone is feeling bad, so you try to make things better and console them.
Don’t do that. You will learn after a while that this really works wonders for you.
The narcissist in your life will realize that they can’t manipulate you anymore.
Even if they do become extremely emotional, just know that it’s all an act. They want to get something from you.
Your self-confidence can’t waver. Stick with what you know and don’t let them convince you otherwise.
2. How to make a narcissist miserable? Use the silent treatment
Let’s be honest, in what situation does the silent treatment not work?
If you’re specifically asking about how to make a narcissist miserable, this one always works like a charm.
Narcissists revel in attention, validation, and acknowledgment, so what happens when they don’t get that? They become miserable.
A narcissist feels a certain type of entitlement to people’s attention, even if it’s in a negative sense.
A narcissist will sometimes start a fight to just revel in the reaction they get out of you.
You might think that they would run away from this negative attention, but sometimes they even prefer it.
Negative attention means that they have power over you, so instead of that, try to give them the silent treatment.
The narcissist in your life will feel extremely frustrated and their mind will go haywire.
Just imagine the satisfaction of knowing that your lack of response to their phone calls, messages, and everything else is enough to make them go crazy.
That’s exactly what you want to achieve and it will also bring you to a calmer state.
If this narcissist is your (ex) partner, the no contact rule will help you move on and feel better about yourself.
3. Tell them NO
How many times have you found yourself in a situation where a narcissist hasn’t even tried to respect your boundaries?
You probably felt bad about saying no to something they obviously wanted.
Establish boundaries for yourself and follow through with them. Don’t just tell them no just to let them do whatever they want after pressuring you.
Boundaries are always a great way of keeping a relationship healthy and fulfilling. Even if it’s your best friend, you still need boundaries.
Saying no to something is NOT a crime.
A narcissist will pull out all the stops just to accomplish what they set their mind to.
When you tell them no and say why, their mind can’t comprehend it.
The narcissist in your life will become angry and all hell might break loose. They’ll also be confused and won’t have any idea what’s going on.
How dare you refuse them something? Misery will flood them like a tidal wave.
4. How to make a narcissist miserable? Win at something
When you first met this narcissist, what was your first impression?
If you were in a group setting, it would have been obvious how badly they take defeat.
Narcissistic personality disorder makes a person absolutely unable to take any type of public humiliation.
Their fragile ego is simply unable to understand how someone can actually be better than them at something.
That’s why, the next time you go out, challenge their narcissism and show them that they can’t have everything they want.
Show that you can win at something.
Go out with them to a place where you can play competitive games, succeed at something in your workplace, or do anything that comes to mind.
The narcissist in your life will see this as the ultimate defeat because it is a sort of public humiliation.
They will seriously question themselves and whether they want to be part of your life after that.
Their ego can’t handle having someone close who is better than them at anything. This works in your favor perfectly.
5. Create consequences for their actions
A narcissist doesn’t understand how someone can ever think that they’re wrong. This will be the most obvious red flag when you first meet them.
Whenever you try to argue with them, they become enraged.
Creating consequences for someone’s actions is probably very hard to implement if you have a narcissistic parent who needs to be put in their place.
If you do become mad at them, they either turn to physical violence or love bombing.
What are you supposed to do when these toxic people simply demand everything from you?
In these situations, it’s very much necessary to have consequences for their actions.
Every time they don’t respect your boundaries or limits, they need to be held accountable for it.
Some examples of consequences can be not answering their phone calls or messages, blocking them on your social media, or not doing things for them anymore.
You know your narcissist better than anyone else, so what means the most to them? Deny them that.
If you were wondering how to make a narcissist miserable, this is your best bet.
6. How to make a narcissist miserable? Ask about their emotions and stay persistent
Okay, this might sound confusing, as why would you want to know about the emotions of someone you’re trying to get away from?
Well, you wanted to know how to make a narcissist miserable, and this will help you out.
When they’re talking, they use this manipulation technique called cognitive empathy. They use it to gain entry to your deepest emotions.
You don’t have to be as manipulative as them. Be straightforward.
Ask questions that make them expose themselves.
Before you begin, you have to know that they will lie to get you to shut up and that’s why it’s so important that you stay persistent.
After a while of poking into their vulnerability and their authentic emotions, they will become extremely agitated.
It makes them miserable because they don’t know what they’re actually feeling.
A narcissist is so used to playing mind games with people that their actual personality is buried very deep down.
7. Be a voice of authority
How to make a narcissist miserable can be quite a tough question to answer, but then you look into their personality and everything becomes so obvious.
They love to boss people around, pretend like they’re just being friendly, and then they stab you in the back before you even know it.
If you’re the one in control, they will even get more miserable than you might have wanted in the beginning.
Put your foot down when they want something, narrate the entire conversation, and make sure that they know you’re the one in control.
8. How to make a narcissist miserable? Be independent
As stated before, the narcissist has to be in control at all times. They thrive on your codependence.
This stems from a childhood trauma that they endured. They need to find a way to feel special again and that’s where you come into play.
The biggest praise they can get is knowing that they are the center of someone else’s life and that you can’t live without them.
That’s why narcissists manipulate their victims to believe that no one wants to be their friend, in order to isolate them, which turns you into the narcissist’s slave.
However, what do you believe would happen if you showed independence?
If you show independence in the face of a narcissist who believed they could control you, they will automatically become miserable.
How to make a narcissist miserable, you might ask? This is your secret to everything.
Stop making them believe that you are the victim who needs saving. You are not a damsel in distress!
Be independent! Make your own decisions, take yourself out on dates, be your own supplier of compliments.
If the narcissist in your life sees that he or she can’t control you then you are one step closer to getting rid of them.
You are not that!
9. Don’t stick to their plans
This might be the first time that you’re going to sort of use manipulation.
It’s very successful if you’ve been wondering how to make a narcissist miserable.
If you are running on a strict schedule with this narcissist, try and mess up their plans.
They hate it when things go out of the ordinary. Spontaneous behavior can make them go feral.
That’s why my suggestion is to have a spontaneous change of plans, as they won’t be able to be in control.
If you have a certain day in the week where you meet up or religiously do the same thing, cancel those plans.
Change the way you cook something or do something different with your appearance and wait for their reaction.
You will see that the change in their everyday routine won’t be welcomed. You might have to deal with their explosiveness, but it’s worth it.
This will successfully make the narcissist miserable.
10. Talk about your own emotions
Narcissists just love to gaslight their victims. Whenever you try and talk about your emotions, their only response is telling you that you’re crazy.
A narcissist doesn’t know how to deal with others’ emotions and they get extremely confused.
Even though they don’t experience empathy the same way you might, telling them that they’ve made you feel bad will make them angry.
The only reason why they’re angry is that they don’t believe that they can do anything wrong.
In their eyes, you are the only problem and someone who has no reason to feel like that.
They will always invalidate your emotions and because of that, making a narcissist miserable is the easiest task of them all.
All you have to do is talk openly about your emotions, especially if they try to undermine them or your experiences.
Talk about how sad they made you or how unhappy you are in general.
I know that this might be a very energy-consuming activity, but know that it will make them miserable.
They don’t know how to properly express their own emotions, so yours just might make them malfunction.
11. Tell them about your expectations of commitment
A narcissist will never commit to one person, one job, or one location. It’s very hard for them to be emotionally connected to something or someone.
That’s why if you’re going out with a narcissist, tell them that you expect commitment.
You are being true to yourself with this one while also answering the question of how to make a narcissist miserable.
They probably believe that you shouldn’t even think about being with someone else and expect complete loyalty from you.
However, they, themselves, won’t fulfill those expectations.
Don’t hold on to the hope that they will change their ways at some point. They are a narcissist!
Instead of waiting for them to change and pretending like you’re fine with all the rules they make, tell them you want commitment.
Confront them about it, be upfront and tell them that you will leave if they refuse.
Don’t listen to their manipulation tactics, but rather show them that they can’t play you like that.
This entire conversation will be extremely uncomfortable and confusing for them. Because of that, make sure to be persistent.
Know in advance that the outcome will not be them agreeing to your conditions.
The outcome you’re looking for is their pure misery that will come out of this conversation.
12. How to make a narcissist miserable? Don’t make them a priority
You were wondering just how to make a narcissist miserable? Well, here’s your answer.
Don’t make them a priority in your life. Put your attention on other things.
Not only are you making sure that you’re moving on from them and letting go of their manipulative behavior, but you’re also making them miserable.
I know that sometimes it’s not easy to let go of a loved one, even if they are narcissistic.
However, narcissistic abuse recovery urges you to cut them off somehow and walk away from that situation.
You need to be your own biggest priority and you have to show them that they can’t just own you.
That’s why you need to stop making them your priority.
Go out with your other friends more, start new hobbies that will keep you away from them as much as possible.
You need to physically be apart from them. If they call you and tell you that you should be there for them, just end the call.
They will be miserable, but you truly need to make yourself your biggest priority.
13. Do something they don’t like
This entire list has been about doing things they don’t like in order to make a narcissist miserable.
Narcissists don’t like playing by the rules as they want to be in charge. That’s why they expect you to follow their rules and commands.
So, break them. Break the rules and do everything they don’t like.
From where they’re standing, everyone else is inferior and no one else’s opinions matter.
What will happen if you show them that you enjoy doing all the things they don’t like?
Be that rebel yourself! Blast the music they think is trash, read the books they don’t like.
When you’re going out with your friends, put on the clothes they hate and wear all the make-up you want.
If they mentioned that a specific TV show was terrible, watch it, even if you don’t enjoy it.
When they start telling you that you should watch something else instead, tell them that their opinion is trash.
This might seem harsh but they will be so miserable that it will become obvious.
The important part about it is to be extremely confident when talking about these things.
You can’t let them see you falter or you will fall victim to their nonsense again.
This time, you will for sure get a reaction out of them and make them miserable.
The most important part of this entire ordeal is to keep yourself safe.
Many narcissists tend to turn to physical abuse when they don’t get what they want.
Make sure that you’re staying safe and that you’re taking care of yourself.
They can suck the life out of us, but they may still be family members or co-workers that we have to be around.
The best solution is to always make yourself a priority and see what fits you.
Making a narcissist miserable can take a huge toll on your health (mental as much as physical) so make sure you’re aware of that.
You should always be more important to yourself.
If you’re able to just silently walk away from them, without making a fuss about it, it’ll hurt them the most.