We’re surrounded by toxic and evil people, so you must be wondering how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
When you’re a kid, you don’t think too much about others being evil and wanting to harm you. You can’t understand why someone would want to inflict pain on you, especially if you’ve done nothing to them.
Being an adult and realizing that not everyone is your friend and means you well is a really tough pill to swallow. The lessons we learn as we grow older are mostly painful or unpleasant.
Sometimes you can save yourself from pain when you simply see in someone’s eyes that they’re ruled by Satan himself and that they’re definitely capable of hurting you mentally as well as physically.
A person can be much more wicked than you tend to think and that’s because they’re really good at pretending to be someone they’re not. It can take you a fair amount of time to see through their mask.
However, you shouldn’t blame yourself for falling into their trap. After all, they’re an excellent manipulator in disguise who has all kinds of tricks up their sleeve to lure you in and take advantage of your soft heart.
There are many of them out there. And who knows, perhaps you’re interacting with an evil person right now and you were wrong in thinking that they were just a douche. It turns out they may be much more than that.
In this article, you’ll find out the reasons why they behave that way and signs showing how to recognize a person who wants to hurt you, as well as how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
Reasons why someone wants to destroy you
Being in a state of constant fear that someone’s considering ruining your reputation isn’t pleasant at all. And deciphering another person’s intentions can be difficult but it’s something you have to learn about if you do want to protect yourself from toxic people.
When you explore the reasons why someone wants to destroy you, it’ll become easier for you to believe it to be true. It’s definitely a problem you have to address in order to save yourself from being hurt or heartbroken.
Your rude behavior
There’s always the possibility that it’s all your fault that someone wants to destroy you. Perhaps you weren’t kind or courteous to someone in particular or you didn’t help them when they needed you.
These are all reasons why someone may be plotting against you to ruin your life from the inside out. They may also justify their actions by telling you that they were teaching you a lesson so that you realize your mistakes and change for the better.
Keep in mind that even the smallest things can enrage others to be disgusted or angry with you. Maybe you canceled your plans even though you knew it was important to them or perhaps you forgot their birthday. The reason could be one of many.
The thing is that they’re trying to destroy you not because they’re evil but because they want to force you to think about the consequences of your words or actions.
They have zero empathy toward others
Some people have low or zero empathy for others. They have a difficult time putting themselves in other people’s shoes and seeing things from a different perspective and they’re usually unaware of the trouble they cause other people.
Things that could potentially hurt you may not hurt them and they have a real problem identifying with others. It can be very frustrating and awful when you’re on the receiving end of this but be aware that sometimes people lack understanding and they aren’t malicious at all.
If that’s the case, then instead of leaving your partner or someone else who’s dear to you who is like this, you can try to improve communication and set ground rules as to what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior.
It’s part of who they are
Whether or not we’re ready to admit it to ourselves, there are people out there who are really bad and toxic and will stop at nothing until they hurt you. When you have it all, it’s rather difficult to know who your real friends are and who wants to use you and this is why you need to learn how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
It could be that you’re someone who’s worked hard to achieve their dreams and now others envy you for your success and want to ruin everything you have. Maybe they’re doing that because they haven’t worked for it and haven’t achieved anything in their life.
They’re influenced by someone else
There are times when you won’t expect that someone close to you wants to destroy you but that’s a reality you have to face. It may be your partner, best friend, or a relative that you love very much.
If they’re a very vulnerable or unsteady type of person, they may be influenced by what others say. Perhaps a third person is jealous of your achievements or relationships and now wants to hurt you indirectly through your loved one.
They won’t confront you face to face and tell you that they’re jealous but instead, they’ll use those who are close to you to break you apart. If you do notice small changes in the behavior of a loved one, you should talk to them about it and try to get to the bottom of it before it escalates into something bigger.
They’re seeking revenge
Not everyone is the same. Perhaps you weren’t aware that some minor mistake affected your best friend and now they’re plotting to destroy you.
Why? Because they have a hard time letting go of something that happened in the past. They may still hold a grudge against you for betraying them in some way.
I understand that it may be difficult for you to believe this and you may think that this person loves you but a small, innocent mistake of yours could definitely force them to change their behavior and go against you.
Signs someone wants to destroy you
When you get to know a person better, you increase your chances of defending yourself if it turns out they want to destroy you. But in order to do that, you’ll have to recognize the signs that someone wants to ruin your life.
They gaslight you
In the past, gaslighting was often ignored by people and it sometimes wasn’t even recognized as a toxic trait at all. As it’s gaining more exposure, luckily more people are starting to view it as something negative.
Simply put, gaslighting is when a person shifts all the blame on to you. They tell others how your behavior has caused them a lot of trouble or issues and will never take responsibility for anything they’ve done. Instead, they point the finger back to you or make it seem as if your words have somehow hurt their feelings.
The worst thing about gaslighting is that it’ll force you to question yourself and whether or not you really are the problem. That guilty feeling will tear you apart and prevent you from seeing this person for who they really are.
The simple solution would be to take yourself out of the equation by noticing how they’re behaving toward you and then taking a step back, even though this is sometimes a difficult task to achieve.
They’re only friendly when they need something from you
A common trait of a toxic person is that they’ll leave you and then suddenly reappear back in your life whenever they need something from you.
At first, you may think that you’re the cause of such behavior and that you’re special to them but that’s not true at all. After some time, you’ll realize that the only reason they reached out to you is that they needed you for something.
Let me tell you straight away that a person like this isn’t your friend but rather a greedy person who only thinks about themselves.
They haven’t even the slightest interest in bringing any value into your life as they’re not interested in making you happy in any way. They don’t want to build a healthy and successful relationship with you.
It may be tough for you to cut off this person from your life but you need to if you care about your mental health and sanity.
You can’t hang out with them and expect to feel satisfied afterward, as they only bring you misery and sorrow and you don’t need that. Eventually, they’ll drain you of your energy and destroy you completely.
They never defend you when push comes to shove
Someone who wants to destroy you will never go out of their way to defend you publicly. Even though they may do so in private when they’re with you, that won’t happen in public because they’re too scared or self-centered.
You should watch out for these types of people as their silence among others can tell you a lot about who they really are. In fact, their silence tells you that they agree with the way you’re being treated by others.
And who knows, they may even join the opposite side and beat you down when you’re at your lowest. Or it could be that they orchestrated a situation where others hurt you and you didn’t even know about it.
Whatever you may think of them, they don’t mean you well and they could be secretly happy that you’re struggling.
They don’t support you in your dreams or ambitions
Someone whose only intention is to destroy you both mentally and spiritually is the last person you should be discussing your aspirations and goals with. The more you talk about your dreams and ambitions, the more envious they’ll become of your determination to succeed because they can’t dream anything up for themselves.
They’ll constantly bring you down with their harsh words and actions and your enthusiasm will slowly fade away. Also, they’ll only focus on the bad sides of your plans and will never say anything good about them.
It’s completely fine if a person who doesn’t mean a lot to you is talking about those things but if those bad intentions are coming from a person who’s close to you, that’s when you’re in trouble. They may even go to extreme lengths by going behind your back, stealing your awesome idea, and then trying to use it before you do.
If you see any of these signs when you discuss your plans with a loved one, immediately stop talking about your dreams with them. Keep everything to yourself until you’re absolutely sure that they won’t try to ruin your life.
They’re generally very negative or toxic
If you see that someone close to you is always negative and has nothing good to say about anyone or anything, that could be your clue that they want to destroy you as well as others.
Usually, that person is filled with negative energy, which in fact can and will be transferred on to your life sooner or later. They perceive everyone around them to be their enemy and they can force you to believe in that too.
As a result, you may begin to isolate yourself from everyone else and see this particular person as your only friend, when that’s far from the truth. They’ll tell you how others don’t want you to succeed and they’ll spread lies to deceive you and lure you into their trap.
They’ll do that to others as well, to make you look bad, so they’ll go to those people and explain that you’re a horrible person. That ‘friend’ will always have the latest gossip on everyone else and won’t ever say anything positive about others.
On top of that, they’ll use everything they have in their arsenal to destroy your reputation and drain you of your energy. Keeping such a person at arm’s length is crucial if you want to be happy with yourself and take care of your mental health.
How to deal with someone who wants to destroy you
There will always be people who don’t want to see you happy. They don’t want to see you succeed and will do anything they can to ruin your chances of living a peaceful and happy life. That’s why you need to learn how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
1. First, confirm your suspicions
If you’re 100% sure that someone’s trying to destroy you, then you can skip to the next step. On the other hand, if you have your doubts about this person or someone told you something fishy about them, then you need to investigate further to confirm your suspicions.
You’ve heard the saying ‘there’s no smoke without fire’ and it’s nearly always true. The best way to find out the truth is to ask your friends or colleagues if they feel the same way as you do. You can try to ask them indirectly about it but you need to be careful not to blow your cover.
Furthermore, if you’re suspicious about a person, then you can check their social media profiles and try to notice any differences in their behavior or find any evidence that they’re going against you.
Maybe the suspect is someone close to you who you never thought would try to destroy you. In that case, you can ask your family members if they’ve noticed anything unusual about them lately.
2. Confront them
Now that you’ve found the necessary evidence about this particular person, it’s time to turn the tables and confront them. It’s very important that you have some sort of proof of them trying to destroy you and it doesn’t matter whether it’s text messages or a journal, as without it, you can’t confront them.
There’s a possibility that may try to escape the argument and shift the blame on to you. And how they can achieve that? Well, by making you feel guilty about thinking about them in this way.
Tell them what’s on your mind directly to their face and don’t let your emotions get the better of you. If the other person agrees with you, then you’ve already done half of the job. You may need to help them realize that they need to change their behavior and show them how to do so.
Finally, if they don’t agree with you and you can’t see eye to eye on this particular matter, then your best option is to move away from them. That’s how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
3. Respectfully disagree with them
A toxic or violent person who wants to ruin your life will usually portray themselves as the victim in every situation and blame everything on you. One way to handle someone who wants to hurt you is to respectfully disagree with them and not show any signs that you’re angry or agitated by their behavior.
Responding with aggression or fighting with them will only make the situation worse than it actually is. It may even push the other person to go even harder on you, which is why you need to be assertive instead of aggressive.
While disagreeing with them, try to keep a steady tone, don’t raise your voice, and be confident in what you’re saying. You can always take your time to set a plan when dealing with someone who wants to destroy you. However, you need to be courageous and whatever you do, don’t back down!
4. Shift the focus to their behavior
Even though it may seem impossible to you right now, the best way to deal with someone who wants to destroy you is to communicate with them. I understand that if they’re emotionally exhaustive, it’s tough for you not to attack them back but remember that they have their struggles too.
You never know what the other person is going through at that time until you ask them. Perhaps they’re lonely or they have a difficult family situation.
One way you can handle that toxic person is by simply talking to them. Tell them how their behavior’s affecting your life and how it becomes unacceptable at times and ask them whether or not they’re even aware of their actions.
This can certainly help them analyze their own thoughts and realize what you think of them.
5. Learn to say no
Many manipulative people are very aggressive, so it can be difficult to reject their requests. They become toxic if someone doesn’t act the way they want and that’s why you need to learn how to say, “NO.”
How to deal with someone who wants to destroy you? One way to do so is to ignore them or use the no contact rule, so don’t text or call them for thirty days and see whether they change or not.
You could instead be upfront and tell them the truth. You need to be very brave to do so because telling a toxic person the truth can push them to be even more cunning.
However, keep in mind that you’re the only one in control of your life. No one can or should take that power away from you. You have the choice to get rid of all those toxic people in your life who mentally exhaust you.
After all, the reason why they’re keeping you by their side is to satisfy their selfish needs. Politely tell them that you’re no longer interested or comfortable discussing the matter and then leave.
6. Prioritize yourself
I understand that this person may be someone who’s close to your heart but keep in mind that they’re trying to destroy you. Having a healthy relationship is almost impossible, so you need to prioritize yourself over them.
Don’t offer them your support at the risk of your own mental well-being. The best way to retaliate against their toxic behavior is to focus on yourself and ignore them for as long as you can.
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