Think aloud
Ever wondered how to be feminine in a relationship? Is there really such a thing as guidelines to our own femininity?
Sometimes, we lose our feminine side when we’re in a relationship. This happens especially when you’re married to a man who works a lot. So at the end of the day, you have to be the father and the mother to your children.
However, it’s also possible to experience this in a relationship. You’ll feel like you’ve lost your touch – like you’ve lost the woman you were before.
When we’re not in a relationship, we tend to pay much more attention to our femininity. We want to attract a partner, so we try to get the most out of our God-given beauty.
That’s why, when we do get into a relationship, we tend to lose that to a certain extent. We lose the softness.
After you have children, your body doesn’t look the same it did before. Your body seems like it’s not yours anymore, so you feel like you’re the issue. But I can tell you with certainty that femininity isn’t about what you look like.
Feminine energy goes so much deeper than the physical. You need to nurture it above anything.
Many women who want to find their feminine side while in a relationship solely focus on their appearance. But it’s not about that.
Yes, okay, one little aspect of it is connected to your body, but it’s mostly about the way you perceive yourself and how you take care of yourself. So don’t hold back right now.
Nurture the goddess you are within. Find a way to regain your femininity while you’re in a relationship with a man.
How to be feminine in a relationship
1. Understand what femininity means for you
Your definition of femininity isn’t necessarily the same as mine. You and I are two women who have our own stories to tell and we can’t perceive this the same way.
Because of that, you’ll have to define your own femininity.
The best way you can do this is to grab a pen and paper and write everything down. Ask yourself when you feel the most feminine and when you feel most like yourself.
Ask yourself who your role models are when it comes to femininity and see what you can learn from those women.
Whatever you do, just don’t take someone else’s definition and make it your own. Your femininity is an authentic journey and you can’t reach your potential by constantly trying to reach someone else’s idea of it.
Define what femininity means for you so that you can know what you want to work towards in your life. If you don’t, then you’ll end up chasing something that will never make you genuinely happy.
Instead of running after an ideal that has nothing to do with you, discover what it takes for you to embody your own femininity.
2. Let go of toxic belief systems
What I’m most afraid of is that when figuring out how to be feminine in a relationship, you start to think about the toxic stereotypes.
There are so many toxic belief systems in this world that are based on patriarchy and that don’t really give you the freedom to express your unique femininity. Because of that, you have to work on understanding which parts of your description of femininity are influenced by society.
Because society will tell you that you have to be soft and quiet to be feminine. It tells you that you need to be passive and always submit to a man. When you understand that, you’ll be able to free yourself from these stupid societal expectations.
Your femininity is defined by yourself only. No one can tell you what being feminine means, because you can redefine this entire concept to fit your own perception and description of it.
Society’s understanding of how a woman should look and act is inherently toxic. You are told to sit a certain way, to dress a certain way, and it’s always about losing more weight than you need to in order to have a healthy body.
This won’t help you on your journey. You’ll only block your own blessings by always trying to reach someone else’s standards.
You have the right to let go of all of the things that you were taught about being feminine. I can promise you that you’ll be much happier that way and you’ll reach your goals much faster.
3. Find ways to contribute to your relationship
If you want to be more feminine in a relationship, you’re probably feeling that way because you don’t feel as if you’re fulfilling your duties in the relationship.
What other way to do that but to be more feminine? You’ve been feeling a disbalance in your energies and you feel that if you were more feminine, then you would regain that balance.
One of the ways to do that is by determining ways you can contribute to your relationship. When you look at your relationship, you’ll most probably see if you’re able to put more effort into it.
This may mean different things for different people. In your relationship, you could be the one who always talks but never allows your partner to share his thoughts. You should definitely work on changing that.
Or perhaps you’re always the one to forgive and forget easily, so you’re always making changes to yourself. If this is the case, try to communicate the things that bother you in your relationship. Talk to him about what annoys you calmly and rationally.
You may be the one who makes all the plans for the future. You two have had a few joint ideas, but they never saw the light of day. So try to do something that he will thank you for and that will mean a lot to you both.
It doesn’t matter if you’re the woman and you were taught to be passive. If being feminine means being more proactive for you, then do exactly that.
4. Keep a smile on your face
Let me preface this by saying this statement isn’t a misogynistic way to make you defiant.
We all hate when someone tells us to smile more. It’s like we have to change our mood for someone else just so they feel better in our presence. You have a right to express your feelings and every emotion you experience is valid.
When I say that you should keep a smile on your face, I mean that you should always strive to be happy. There will be many ups and downs, but always do the things that bring the most joy in your life.
If you find that you have a hard time feeling joy in your relationship, then it might be because it’s not the relationship for you. But that’s a whole other topic for another day.
You want to know how to be more feminine in a relationship and that’s why you’re here. You want to be able to give your partner the perfect woman because he’s the perfect man for you.
Your feminine energy will come forward when your energy isn’t clogged by bad experiences. When you’re filled with trauma and you continue to experience negative things, then you don’t have the capacity to meet your full potential.
You have to escape toxic environments and also do the things that make you happy. That way you’ll be much more open to expressing your femininity.
It’ll be evident in every single smile you show to the world. Your own female energy will be the most obvious part of you.
5. Always have a creative outlet
When you’re in a relationship, you forget to pay attention to your hobbies. I’m not saying that everyone is prone to doing that, but most of us are.
We forget to have a creative outlet because when we’re done with work, we want to spend the rest of our time with that special someone. You want to see him whenever you can and you’d much rather talk to him for hours on end without taking a minute for yourself.
If you’re really that paralyzed by your love for that man, then you should find something that you two can do together. Although, I would definitely recommend you to go and find something that you can do on your own.
Take a creative writing class or go painting in nature all by yourself. It doesn’t matter what that creative outlet is for you, just make sure to use it to work on yourself.
It could also be something like knitting or cooking so that you’re doing something productive while also creating something fun and colorful.
How can you be more feminine in your relationship if you’re not expressing yourself in any way, shape, or form? Feminine energy is also creative energy. Women create whole human beings and bring them into the world.
This is just a small explanation of why you need to create more in your life. You were created as a gateway for souls by the universe. So never give that up. Create as much as you can, as often as you can!
6. Take care of your appearance
When I tell you to take care of your appearance, I don’t mean that you need to adjust your looks to fit certain standards. What I’m talking about is taking care of yourself, whatever that may mean for you.
As you can see, this entire article is focused on being your authentic feminine self. Your femininity isn’t a part of the outside world so that you have to chase it. It’s already a part of you, you just have to find a way to get to it.
When I tell you to take care of your appearance, I mean that you need to take care of your physical health. Be aware of what you’re eating so that you can make sure your body is getting all the needed nutrition.
I’m also talking about your personal hygiene. Take daily showers, always wear perfume and deodorant. Don’t let yourself go in the sense of not being there for yourself.
Who are you supposed to take care of if not yourself? You have to make sure that you feel good in your own body.
Ask yourself what you need to do in order to feel and look feminine to yourself. Does this include a mani-pedi? Perhaps a new haircut?
Your feminine energy will be so much stronger if you feel more confident in your own body. That’s why you can’t just ignore your physical appearance.
7. Wear clothes that make you feel more comfortable
Another important thing regarding this topic includes the clothes that you’re wearing. To feel more feminine, we tend to wear things that make us feel extremely uncomfortable. We wear high heels, little tight dresses, and tiny purses that can’t even fit our phones.
If you really do feel most comfortable in those clothes, then go for it! If it makes you feel confident and powerful, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t wear that.
However, so many women out there think that that’s the only way for a woman to dress to feel empowered. You see, you can feel empowered in anything that you feel comfortable in!
It doesn’t matter if that is a shirt and some fancy pants or a flowery summer dress. You have the right to experiment with your wardrobe and find your own style. Your femininity will shine through when you start feeling more comfortable.
8. Move your beautiful body every day
Move your body daily. Your body is the vessel for all the beautiful things you actually are. Because of that, your body, in itself, is beautiful.
In learning how to be feminine in a relationship, you really have to find a way to give your body a chance to lead you. Love is so much more than physical pleasure, but you should definitely have a connection with your partner on a physical level as well. You need to be able to feel passion toward each other.
So do different types of exercise every day. On certain days, it may include yoga, and on others, running or some other sort of cardio.
Get your body in top shape. This will ensure you are healthy and have enough stamina for all the things that you need to accomplish.
In your relationship, don’t ever let your sensual energy subside. Make sure to let it flow through you freely and don’t hold it back.
And speaking of sensuality, you also have to be able to understand your body and sense its limits. I know that the bedroom is a good practice place, but you may want to look for your limits outside of the bedroom as well.
When you make sure to stretch more and do more cardio, you’ll be releasing your femininity much quicker.
9. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Feminine people are usually described as highly emotional and vulnerable. When you build up walls around your own heart and don’t want to open up to anyone, it’s very hard to see you as a feminine woman.
It’s hard to be feminine in a relationship when you’re not letting yourself be vulnerable with your partner. Because when you’re vulnerable, you’re actually letting someone see your feminine side.
You feel comfortable enough with them to show them your softest and most beautiful parts of yourself. You don’t have to always be the femme fatale that you see in media, you’re allowed to also be helpless and emotional from time to time.
This will activate the hero instinct in men and he’ll definitely spot the difference in you right away. This will allow him to be his truest self as well. In a relationship, you always have to strive for this balance.
When you’re the vulnerable one, he’s able to be there for you. This also means that he’ll feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable around you, too. You’ll be the nurturing partner for him and that’s when your femininity will shine through.
10. Remind your partner why you love him
When you want to be more feminine in your relationship, you should think about the way you want your partnership to change as well. Your own relationship with him will have to go through a metamorphosis.
Sounds a bit poetic, but hear me out. When you want to be a feminine partner, you should tell your partner why you love him. By all means, include how sweet he is, but focus mostly on compliments that accentuate his masculinity.
Tell him how much you appreciate it when he buys you things. Tell him how much you love to spoil him, because he spoils you, too. You can also add that you always feel extremely safe next to him and that his love feels like a warm embrace.
It may seem like small things, but they’re actually very important to talk about. Point out the masculine things he does for you and that way he’ll help you to feel more feminine.
11. Be more connected to your emotions
As stated before, emotions are a big part of your feminine energy. Women have always been perceived as the more emotionally intelligent gender.
I would love to tell you that your feminine energy is more obvious through your rationale, but I’d be lying to you. In fact, when you disconnect from your emotions, you start to lose your femininity.
So when you feel an emotion, don’t just swallow it down. Let it show itself. Your emotions are there to protect you and to make you feel better after a while.
Instead of pushing your feelings away, really try to connect to them. If you’re not able to recognize the emotions that you’re experiencing, then try taking a few breaths and calming down first.
Then you can easily express your emotions on paper if that works for you. Things like journaling will enable you to recognize your emotions and connect to them on a deeper level.
12. Avoid over-giving
Of course, you should always strive to give the same amount that you’re receiving in a relationship. But sometimes, women tend to over-give. We get so carried away by our own emotions that we simply give everything that we have to the man we love.
That’s what makes you feel less feminine than you actually are. That’s when you start to be the caretaker of your relationship and stop receiving any love.
Have you ever heard it said that men love the chase? It’s true! They love having to fight for the woman of their dreams.
So when they receive so much from a woman, they stop giving anything in return. And I know that’s absolutely awful, but that’s the reality.
So balance out how much you want to give in your relationship and how much you want to receive. Let it always be an equal amount. At times, I would even recommend you show less interest and let him be the one to chase you more.
You’re the woman. You should be adored.
13. Create boundaries
A woman of high value is a woman who’s had to also learn how to be feminine in a relationship. She’s had to realize that there are certain boundaries a woman needs to create to let her femininity roam freely.
Those boundaries may include that you need time for yourself. It may mean that you won’t tolerate any aggressive behavior, including shouting and yelling.
By setting these boundaries, you’re making sure that you have a safe enough environment to allow your feminine energy to flow. You’ll know you’re in a safe place where you can be yourself completely and you won’t trigger any past trauma that may stand in the way of your own journey.
14. Understand your own value
Many people throughout your life will try to bring you down. Sometimes, you won’t be able to be feminine in a relationship if it isn’t the relationship you should be in.
When you understand your value, you’ll understand that you can’t reach your full potential unless you leave.
You’ll realize your value and that you deserve good things to happen to you. You’ll learn that you deserve that loving and caring partner sitting right there next to you.
So instead of freaking out and doubting yourself daily, truly try to love yourself. You’re such a strong woman and you deserve to feel free.
You can do that even while you’re with someone because you both work on becoming the best versions of yourselves.
Never let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve the things you’re searching for. That’s when you’re allowing someone to block your own blessings and your feminine energy.
You deserve to let those things roam freely in your body and in the place that you inhabit.
Never forget that you’re incredibly valuable.
